ADHD reWired

398 | Can We, Though? with Greg Hopewell

Want to join the ADHD reWired Coaching & Accountability Groups? Go now to and get your name added to our winter interest list so you can join our kickoff registration event this month in October!  Shownotes & timestamps coming soon... Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mahan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens with Moira Maybin coming soon - Wait, What Was the Question? with Will Curb and Coach Roxie Martin. Reach out to Will and Roxie at questions@whatwasthequestionpodcast.com  Don't Forget These, Too: — Support the show by becoming a Patron! — Get your name on the waitlist to join the winter season of ADHD reWired's Coaching and Accountability Groups! — Join your ADHD-friendly co-working space! — Join Eric, Brendan, Will, MJ, Moira, Roxie, and Barb for an hour of Live Q&A on Zoom, every 2nd Tuesday of the month at 12:30pm Central (10:30am Pacific / 1:30pm Eastern)

397 | September Live Q&A with Brendan Mahan, Will Curb, MJ Siemens, coaches Moira Maybin & Roxie Martin, & Barb McDonagh

396 | Finding the Fun and Flow in Fitness with Karen Broda

About Nicolas: Nicolas was first originally from Switzerland. He’s a long-time motoring enthusiast, licensed racer, and fourth-generation painter. He now lives and works in the U.S. as a professional automotive fine artist.  He trained at Pasadena ArtCenter College of Design and incorporates many elements of Art Deco advertising posters in his paintings - a style he called, “Period Correct.” He’s worked with the likes of Porsche, 24h Le Mans, McLaren, and Ford, to create one-of-a-kind art pieces and automotive-themed design prints for apparel and products.  [00:03:26] - Nicolas talks about a 20-foot painting he was commissioned to do in 2015 for Porsche and says more about his artwork and his business.  [00:04:30] - Mentioned here:   [00:05:29] - Hear more about Nicolas’ family history of artists, Art Deco, photography, and postmodernism.  [00:07:01] - Nicolas gives an honest answer when people ask him how they can become a painter, his thoughts on corporate culture, the types of clients he’s worked with, and what he did before becoming a full-time painter.  [00:10:07] - A relatable moment of time-blindness is mentioned here. (Implied; the phrase, “time-blindness” is not actually mentioned here.) Then, Eric and Nicolas dive more into ADHD and how it’s “the worst-named disorder in the world”, the difference between hyperfocus and flow, and how Nicolas experiences hyperfocus.  [00:14:19] - Eric talks about the COVID hobby he picked up - painting - and asks Nicolas about changing brushes.  A question for the listener: Is it just Eric? Or do you think painters with ADHD have to buy more brushes because “we” don’t clean them off fast enough?  [00:21:47] - Nicolas answers Eric’s question: “From what you’re learning so far, how do you see ADHD showing up in your work, in a way that challenges your work?” Here, Nicolas opens up about mindfulness and other tools he uses, and how he organizes his environment. He also opens up about impulse control and not being able to say “no”, being an instigator, and how his ADHD affects his business and relationship.  [00:24:05] - Eric and Nicolas talk about starting “22 things at the same time”, deadlines, and perfectionism. Later, they talk about how long it can take Nicolas to finish a painting. [00:27:52] - Hear a helpful reframe on how hyperfocus can potentially be more draining, rather than a superpower. Then, Nicolas talks about the energy differences when he paints versus sketching, how long it takes him to figure out details for historical accuracy, and how perfectionism plays a role.  [00:34:03] - Mentioned here: [00:43:26] - Nicolas shares how his ADHD has affected his relationship, the challenges they’ve had to face together, and how a fantastic referral led him to his ADHD diagnosis.  [00:46:26] - Eric and Nicolas share a moment when it comes to filling out forms and how they change their handwriting.  [00:48:07] - Nicolas talks about the research phase of ADHD, how he’s still learning, how the scope of his ADHD has affected his life and the people around him, losing things, and getting derailed. Unintentional tip from Nicolas: Walk around with paper in your hand, it looks like you’re going somewhere. Or, you can hold a phone to your ear!  [00:51:18] - Eric and Nicolas talk about auditory processing and dyscalculia, recalling conversations, emotional scarring, and the messiness of sequencing events. Then, they talk about taking notes and how Leonardo da Vinci would handwrite. [00:53:59] - Nicolas opens up about communication challenges, his triggers, his tendencies, and his awareness of his reactions.  [00:56:49] - Nicolas shares an analogy about an intention versus the effect of the intention.  [00:58:39] - Eric and Nicolas talk more about being emotionally laden, emotional defense mechanisms, and forgetfulness.  [01:01:56] - Nicolas gives his thanks. He hopes this episode can help someone listening to his story, too. Mentioned on the show:  Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mehan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens with Moira Maybin coming soon - Wait, What Was the Question? with Will Curb and Coach Roxie Martin. Reach out to Will and Roxie at questions@whatwasthequestionpodcast.com  Don't Forget These, Too: — Support the show by becoming a Patron! — Get your name on the waitlist to join the fall season of ADHD reWired's Coaching and Accountability Groups — Join your ADHD-friendly co-working space! — Join Eric, Brendan, Will, MJ, Moira, Roxie, and Barb for an hour of Live Q&A on Zoom, every 2nd Tuesday of the month at 12:30pm Central (10:30am Pacific / 1:30pm Eastern)

395 | Race Car Brain with Nicolas Hunziker

About Will: Will is a Los Angeles-based tech entrepreneur, inventor, and music producer, who is the CEO and founder of Focus@Will. He is the founding member of the 90’s hit UK pop-soul band LONDONBEAT, founded a tech company called Rocket Network based in San Francisco, and sold the company in 2003. Will also founded the company called “DigiDelivery”, which morphed into Avid Cloud Collaboration (part of ProTools) and is used everyday in pro audio production all over the world.  Sources: Check it out: [00:03:47] - Will talks about being diagnosed and shares some of his thoughts about ADHD. [00:07:27] - Eric and Will talk about using music as a tool, what’s helpful for them, and the science of music on the brain. [00:11:17] - Hear a sample from Focus@Will, “The Deep”, and more.  [00:12:36] - Will explains a musician’s brain.  [00:15:37] - Will shares a story from a friend about music and Alzheimers.  [00:22:09] - Eric asks Will about the creation process, the data, and what the data says.  [00:24:28] - Will tells us who gave him his ADHD diagnosis, and the types of jobs where ADHD brains need a lot of stimulation to focus.  [00:26:22] - Hear more samples from Focus@Will, as Will walks us through the purpose of each sample.  [00:29:04] - Will explains how Focus@Will started and what was involved with starting up. [00:32:08] - Hear more about the science, the cognitive testing, and the distinct link between brain types and the kinds of music that helps that type of brain.  Did you know: Statistically, one in three people cannot listen to any sound at all while they’re working! [00:33:43] - Will talks about the bell curve of the studies, the correlation of ADHD, a link to autism, and how the data came out with how having music on while working helps two thirds of people.  [00:36:36] - Hear about a statistic of Focus@Will in a work environment, and how the people using it compare to the organization.   [00:42:51] - Eric wants to know about the musical and creative side of Focus@Will - and then we get serenaded! Will explains making music for the non-conscious mind.  [00:44:35] - Will talks about “Nature Beat”, a channel that is also his own personal artistic endeavor. Then, hear a sample of Nature Beat itself, as Will walks us through how it works and the intentionality behind its creation. (All Nature Beat tracks are 25 minutes long - the same as a Pomodoro!)  [00:48:43] - Will explains what “entrainment” is with a demonstration using his guitar.  Did you know: Strings sympathetically resonate with sounds that make the strings happen. You can do this with a piano by singing into a piano and holding the sustain pedal!  [00:50:07] - Hear “the skinny” about binaural beats, and the brainwaves we need to focus and concentrate. (It’s alpha waves.)  [00:52:56] - Go to focusatwill.com, take the quiz on the website, and discover what kind of music might best help you get focused! Hint: It often recommends music you don’t like. Will explains why.  [00:55:36] - Will shares three tips he’s received:  “Every time I do an email during the day, I ‘click’ a [pitch] counter.” (It just might have been our own Brendan Mahan!)  A tip from a Podiatrist (foot doctor): Make sure your feet are grounded at 90 degrees to your ankles when you’re working. It has a profound impact on your typing accuracy! An eye-doctor talked about eye-strain and working in front of a computer. The tip: Close one eye, look at your screen, and then look away (or outside) at the brightest source (but not the sun!), and then look back at your computer screen. If it is exactly the same [brightness], you’re good to go. But if it’s not, then adjust the brightness of your screen so it matches the ambient light.  Get in touch with Will Henshall & follow Focus@Will:  On Twitter Like Focus@Will on Focus@Will on Other honorable mentions: Learn more about Entrainment (Wikipedia link)  Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mehan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens with Moira Maybin coming soon - Wait, What Was the Question? with Will Curb and Coach Roxie Martin. Reach out to Will and Roxie at questions@whatwasthequestionpodcast.com  Don't Forget These, Too: — Support the show by becoming a Patron! — Get your name on the waitlist to join the fall season of ADHD reWired's Coaching and Accountability Groups — Join your ADHD-friendly co-working space! — Join Eric, Brendan, Will, MJ, Moira, Roxie, and Barb for an hour of Live Q&A on Zoom, every 2nd Tuesday of the month at 12:30pm Central (10:30am Pacific / 1:30pm Eastern)

394 | What Music Helps YOU Focus at Will? with Will Henshall

** There's still room for YOU to join the 26th season of the award-winning ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Groups, starting in October!  Head over to to find out how you can be a part of these intensive, online and video-based coaching and accountability groups, so you can get your ADHD rewired and rewrite your ADHD story! [00:02:20]  - Eric has the first ADHD moment of the show  [00:04:38] - Question: A listener who was recently diagnosed with ADHD asks about hyperfocus, prioritizing, and how to tell the difference between something that is a “new” passion versus a hyperfocus, versus a new commitment that may lose interest in.  Learn as much as you can about ADHD. It’s a disorder where information makes a difference.  If you can anticipate the things in your environment that you’re more susceptible to falling into hyperfocus and plan for them. Our tendencies can be double-edged swords.  Ask ourselves: Is it a passion or calling, or something we’re just doing a deep dive on?  Have a place to store your ideas, because it doesn’t mean you have to act on them and continue to scroll. It’s okay to be curious about it, and observe if the curiosity will fade tomorrow before acting on it.  The more we are engaged in thinking about it (our ADHD), the more we are going to take our lives off auto pilot.  Is it a time-suck or a time-investment?  Learning about ADHD is really learning more about ourselves.  [00:14:33] - Question: What is the most frustrating thing about your ADHD? This listener’s most frustrating thing is having to wait for stuff. But first, Barb and Eric have a moment! Roxie:  working memory in almost every aspect of her life, and shares a working-memory moment.  Moira: day-to-day is waiting, but the big-impact ADHD frustration is impulsivity with blurting out.  Will: An extreme lack of executive function while recovering from COVID (at the time of this recording) and activating on the task at hand.  MJ: Impulsivity to never (or rarely) say “no”. Then optimism kicks in, then they realize they can’t do all the things, even though their ADHD wants to do all the things.  Brendan: The “waiting-brain” and having trouble initiating prior to something bigger in the future.  Eric: Transitioning or moving on to the next thing, and multi-tracking and maintenance in multiple domains of life at once.  [00:19:37] - Question: A listener is one month away from having a baby and is in serious need of working on their recently diagnosed ADHD, and wonders how to balance these.  Suggestions: Don’t join a coaching group (yet). Focus on your baby and get to know your baby because the years will fly by.  Learn more about ADHD by listening to podcasts, because you can listen to a podcast and feed a baby at the same time. The more passive the learning, the easier it’s going to be to fit in [the learning] around your baby.  When you’re pregnant, your body has a lot of estrogen which helps your ADHD. When you deliver, those hormones decrease. Women with ADHD have a much higher rate of postpartum depression largely due to this drop.  Figure out what works for you even when others want to give advice, ask for help, don’t be afraid to ask for help, and take care of yourself. [00:30:55] - Question: A listener, who is a startup cofounder, asks about navigating and managing rejection in a practical way, and avoiding participation with the anxiety of facing rejection.  It’s not just about competing with someone else, it’s about competing and challenging ourselves.  Is there risk? Yes. The only guarantee if a “no” is to not do the thing that scares us.  Ask ourselves: Can you do everything that you think you can do and at the same time, understand that it might not go your way, or seal your own fate by not doing anything?  Ask ourselves: What’s our mindset when we go into these things? Ask ourselves: Do we love what we’re doing?  One of the things that makes rejection so hard is the story we tell ourselves about why we were rejected. If we change the story and make it one that serves us rather than one that undermines us, it’s easier to take that risk the next time because we’re not ruined by the story we told ourselves.  [00:35:16] - A listener gets burnt out from doing productive things, but when they feel burnt out, they know exactly what they need to do to recharge. But when they feel like they need to do more things, they don’t feel like they have the right to recharge.  (The panelists can relate!) “I need to do all my work first before I can recharge” may be an old story we tell ourselves. We can’t only do the work because that’s what leads to burnout.  Nobody gets everything done on their to-do lists, including neurotypical people.  Ask ourselves: What’s the story we tell ourselves? What are the remnants of our old belief patterns? Are we making up for our ADHD?  Plan the time off first, and protect that time after it’s been planned.   We’re never going to escape the mental trap that says, “Oh, I could do more.” Sure, we could do more, but with diminishing returns.  You deserve to have self-care, whether you’ve gotten the stuff done or not.  Write down a compelling “why” to help remember why it was prioritized.  [00:41:13] - A listener, who is also a new dad, is overwhelmed and finds himself doing anything else except for the things he feels he needs to do. Both him and his partner have ADHD.  Balance the sleep by swapping nights with your partner and experiment with a rhythm that works for you.  Ask for help and be open about what your struggles are, that doesn’t necessarily need to disclose the ADHD.  [00:44:50] - A listener asks what kinds of movies the panelists like to watch! Eric: Death to Smoochie MJ: Oceans 13, Atlantis, The Emperor’s New Groove, otherwise they watch documentaries or true-crime  Will: Mostly watched kids movies recently; really enjoyed The Mitchells vs. The Machines. Will also enjoys comedies and light-hearted things. He even enjoys “terrible” movies (movies that are so bad they’re good.)  Moira: needs movies with a story to stay engaged. Otherwise, she enjoys Pride & Prejudice (both versions), period pieces, and movies with mysteries but aren’t scary. She also enjoys rom-coms. Brendan: All the Marvel movies, Star Wars, fantasy stuff, heist movies, especially Oceans 11.  Roxie: Jojo Rabbit, comedies that take her by surprise and are really quirky. Barb really likes comedies and action movies like the Fast & Furious movies, and series like Umbrella Academy.  Honorable mentions: Sharknado  Tremors 6 Ticket to Hawaii 5-Headed Shark Poseidon Rex [00:55:57] - A listener, who was diagnosed with ADHD over ten years ago as an adult, and is wondering if there is any ADHD medication that can be taken while breastfeeding.  It comes down to risk-reward of the baby and managing ADHD. Some folks have found it safe to take the medication, depending on medical history. Bottom line: Talk to your doctor, and make sure your doctor knows you and understands ADHD. Talk to your pharmacist.  [00:59:08] - Between ADHD, a brain injury, hormones, and anxiety, a listener is feeling like a dysfunctional mess. Coaching, therapy, meds, and techniques haven’t worked for them thus far, and are feeling down more frequently.  Number one: Putting yourself first and being kind to yourself. Questions asked back to the listeners: How many of us did help not work until we had the right help?  What are your protective factors? What does your support look like? What community support networks exist that you can take advantage of?  We have an inner voice or inner critic we’re allowed to ‘tell off’.  [01:04:25] - Eric shares an update about his Phish tickets and shares some lessons learned about travelling.  [01:05:44] - A listener, newly diagnosed with ADHD, asks about dealing with transitions.  Ask someone to help and share that transition-piece with someone else. Use a timer, but make sure it’s a timer it’s not on your phone. Make it something that will have you get up from your chair if the “gravity” of your chair is getting stronger.  Limit context switching whenever possible.  Try doing everything in one space that you need to do in that space before transitioning onto the next. “Break for Eyes” on iOS desktop.  Build in more buffer time between switching.  Have an alarm for the upcoming transition as a “nudge” of what’s coming up, not the transition itself. Every transition is really two transitions: You have to transition out of what you’re doing, then into whatever is coming up next. There are three kinds of transitions Physical transitions Emotional transitions Intellectual transitions [01:11:29] - Enjoy the last minute moment-of-dad from the Dad-Joke King himself, Will Curb.  Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mehan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens with Moira Maybin coming soon - Wait, What Was the Question? with Will Curb and Coach Roxie Martin. Reach out to Will and Roxie at questions@whatwasthequestionpodcast.com  Don't Forget These, Too: — Support the show by becoming a Patron! — Get your name on the waitlist to join the fall season of ADHD reWired's Coaching and Accountability Groups — Join your ADHD-friendly co-working space! — Join Eric, Brendan, Will, MJ, Moira, Roxie, and Barb for an hour of Live Q&A on Zoom, every 2nd Tuesday of the month at 12:30pm Central (10:30am Pacific / 1:30pm Eastern)

393 | August Live Q&A with Brendan Mahan, Will Curb, MJ Siemens, coaches Moira Maybin & Roxie Martin, & Barb McDonagh

** There's still room for YOU to join the 26th season of the award-winning ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Groups, starting in October!  Head over to to find out how you can be a part of these intensive, online and video-based coaching and accountability groups, so you can get your ADHD rewired and rewrite your ADHD story! About Jim: Jim has been battling ADHD since his diagnosis at the age of 10 in the early 1980's, adding bipolar type 2 (Bipolar II), substance abuse, and an anxiety disorder to the mix has made life interesting, to say the least! Having a robust recovery plan and a team in place is helping Jim overcome these obstacles and stay on the path to recovery.  Jim is a father of four, married to his wife for 30 years, an army Veteran, and a fire EMS captain.  (Check back for updated timestamps of this episode!) Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mehan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens with Moira Maybin coming soon - Wait, What Was the Question? with Will Curb and Coach Roxie Martin. Reach out to Will and Roxie at   Don't Forget These, Too! — Support the show by becoming a Patron! — Get your name on the waitlist to join the fall season of ADHD reWired's Coaching and Accountability Groups — Join your ADHD-friendly co-working space! — Join Eric, Brendan, Will, MJ, Moira, Roxie, and Barb for an hour of Live Q&A on Zoom, every 2nd Tuesday of the month at 12:30pm Central (10:30am Pacific / 1:30pm Eastern)

392 | Bi Polar, ADHD, and the Road to Recovery with Jim Long

This week, Eric talks with his guest, Henry Holman, about how some of the lessons he's learned through gaming can also apply to real life, the impact of discovering when you're not alone with your ADHD, and dive into a quick coaching session for tips and strategies to managing your to-do's.  About Henry: Henry is going to be a senior at DePaul University, studying computer science and is working towards a career in game programming. Although he was diagnosed at 9 years old, he didn’t start learning about ADHD until he was 19, and remains fascinated with the “why” behind his ADHD-ness. He has loved video games for as long as he can remember, and in recent years, he has learned a lot about himself as he strives to improve at competitive Super Smash Brothers™. His long term career goal is to create a game that makes players feel like they have ADHD, to increase awareness and understanding surrounding the disorder.  This is one of the first episodes in a while where Eric gets to have a guest in-studio!    [00:02:48] - Eric asks how Henry got into video games. It all started with a Game Boy Color™ and a McDonalds toy. Henry and his siblings also split a game console.Then Eric and Henry hash out their virtual tennis accomplishments, and why a lamp-timer is helpful. [00:04:39] - Henry talks about a video game he wants to create that will make people feel like they have ADHD. His brother recommends a game to play, where the underlying theme of the game is a metaphor for overcoming the character’s anxiety, and why it resonated with Henry. He also talks about a game he’s played where the character in the game suffers from psychosis, which also gave him inspiration.    Fun fact: The game Henry mentions in the timestamp above was, indeed, made in collaboration with neuroscientists and mental health professionals. Henry says, “They didn’t want to do [the game] a disservice” and wanted to break a misrepresentation of mental health in games. Read more:   [00:08:31] - Eric asks where Henry is at [with his game]. Henry has already made some prototype levels, designed after , and how the levels represent these deficits.  [00:11:00] - Eric and Henry talk about enthusiasm vs. pursuing a passion professionally. Henry reflects on an episode of ADHD reWired he’s listened to. “We don’t have the luxury [with ADHD] of doing things we don’t like to do for a living” is a phrase that resonates with how he felt about school.  [00:12:44] - Henry really wanted to do game design as a career, but got a “C” in a game-design class, but didn’t quite know what it was he truly wanted to do. Later on, Henry discovers a love for programming, problem-solving, and playing with Lego and K’nex.  [00:15:31] - A moment of ADHD happens right before the break.  [00:22:26] - Henry started educating himself after getting stuck on breaking his skill-ceiling, and talks about the game he dove into to learn how to play competitively. Eric and Henry nerd out about their “mains” in Super Smash Brothers™. Henry explains how picking up a new character in the game was a perfect metaphor for living life with ADHD.  [00:27:13] - “Autopilot” isn’t effective. Henry talks about how his skill-ceiling led to frustration, and coming up with new strategies after losing another set. When he realizes his ADHD may have something to do with his struggles, he talks about diving into ADDitude magazine articles, watching videos on YouTube, and going down the ADHD Reddit rabbit-hole.  [00:30:48] - Henry learns about tournament-nerves, staying calm under pressure, and being able to control impulses, and how in Super Smash Brothers™ was helpful to apply the principles he learned to the real world.  [00:33:20] - Henry recommends taking a drink of water to knock your body out of fight-flight-freeze mode, and how it became his pause-mechanism.  [00:34:33] - Henry’s passion about games “speaks to if we’re going to problem-solve around any area of life, if we can figure out a way to put it through the lens of what we are passionate about, it gives our brain a fighting chance.” - Eric  [00:40:55] - Eric and Henry go through some coaching about a consistent system to keep track of his to-do’s. From a digital-assignment notebook and a whiteboard.  [00:44:46] - Eric and Henry talk about the assignment books they received in school, and dive into some of the tools Henry used to use, and how what has worked before never lasted for him, aside from Google Calendar. Then, Eric asks, “What if we can… shift to the mindset from ‘I want to find a consistent tool’ to being quick to pivot when we realize we are no longer paying attention to this tool?”  [00:47.01] - Eric talks about the different places his to-do’s live, and what Eric found helpful for him. Eric also recommends setting a reminder that asks, “Am I using this tool?” Then, Henry reflects on how this could work for him. Eric also recommends using an erasable pen when using a paper-calendar.  [00:49.07] - Henry shares his issue with communication, how he stores the information he’s been given, and how shorthand isn’t always the best way to store that information. [00:52:14] - Eric goes over keeping track of to-do’s, then checking-in with the to-do’s. Mentioned here: Book - (affiliate link)  [00:54:52] - “The thing that I think is most important to be cognizant of is, ‘What are you doing now, what are you doing next?' ...because knowing what’s next makes transitions easier. Everything else is a distraction.” - Eric [00:56:39] - Henry shares his takeaways and the systems he wants to try, which include implementing the reminders about his systems in his calendar, and keeping an “encyclopedia” or an “owner's manual” of strategies of what he has done in the past. Eric also encourages rotating through the tools we have.    Get to know Henry here from his Linktr.ee  Other Honorable Mentions: Magazine  (reddit)  with Jessica McCabe    Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mehan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens with Moira Maybin coming soon - Wait, What Was the Question? with Will Curb and Coach Roxie Martin. Reach out to Will and Roxie at   Don't Forget These, Too! — Support the show by becoming a Patron! — Get your name on the waitlist to join the fall season of ADHD reWired's Coaching and Accountability Groups — Join your ADHD-friendly co-working space! — Join Eric, Brendan, Will, MJ, Moira, Roxie, and Barb for an hour of Live Q&A on Zoom, every 2nd Tuesday of the month at 12:30pm Central (10:30am Pacific / 1:30pm Eastern)

391 | Can a Passion For Videogames Help? with Henry Holman

This is an episode you won’t want to miss. Listen in as Eric - and his guest, Aron Croft - talk about the coping mechanisms Aron went through before he was diagnosed, the lessons he learned from his failures, and how he rose like the pheonix from Procrastinator in Chief to developing an ADHD-friendly productivity system you can't not hear about! About Aron: Aron appeared to have it all together when he got into Harvard. But that was the beginning of his demise. He struggled non-stop for 15 years until he was broke, divorced, and earning minimum wage, failing out of his first seven jobs and businesses. But after getting a masters degree in coaching psychology and a diagnosis of inattentive ADHD, his life changed. He built a successful fortune 500 career, got married, and discovered how to get shit done with a neurodivergent brain.  RIght before Eric and Aron hit record, Aron also adds another skill in pillow fort building for reducing slap-back audio in a not-perfectly-acoustic room!  [00:02:26] - Eric and Aron start at the “bottom” of Aron’s story. Aron gets into Harvard and explains how he dropped out twice before graduating, hating school, being outmatched and outclassed. He lost the structure he had around him, moving from south Florida to Boston, and was sick of the pain to get things done by waiting until the last minute until fear motivated him to get things done, studying computer science. Eric affirms that activation energy can be amazing, but comes at a price. [00:05:10] - Aron talks about the ways he got through high school, building relationships with teachers that felt inauthentic, feeling like he needed to be studying subjects that had “right” answers, such as math and science. He goes into how it was easier to bounce back from dropping out of school the first time.  [00:07:11] - Aron shares how he moved his life to an island off the coast of New Zealand, his plan to retire early, and what came out of these decisions he made in his early 20’s, navigating with some minor inconvenient factors he’d overlooked. Even though Aron and his then-fiance quickly discovered boredom, he doesn’t regret his decisions.  [00:10:00] - Eric and Aron agree on the idea of boredom and “retirement”. Then, they discuss the “drug” of self-improvement. Then, Eric asks Aron how they got off the island. [00:11:55] - Aron teaches Eric and the listeners about “The Harvard Curse” and being heavily influenced by his environment.  [00:13:32] - “It’s applying it that’s challenging for me.” - Aron [00:22:16] - Eric asks Aron about the next 15 years. Aron talks about his first job out of school and a decision he wasn’t proud of in that chapter of his life. He then talks about the other jobs he had, but repeated a pattern of letting things pile up until the last minute to get things done. Aron explains how this affected his relationship - navigating without yet being diagnosed with ADHD. After a year and some at his second job, he takes his ambitious 25-year-old-self to start a business in real-estate. Then, queue a slight tangent about their handyman skills! [00:25:41] - Aron shares a realization about being his own boss, moving to Australia, and going into sales. He then discovers a world-renowned program at the University of Sydney in Executive Coaching, seeing a Master’s Program in Coaching Psychology, changing the trajectory of his life for the better. His passion shines here, and tells the story about how a gag-gift from a friend sparked his relationship with personal development.  [00:30:50] - Eric and Aron fast forward to when he moved back from Australia to Chicago and landing a new job. Receiving some feedback and realizing his position is now at risk, Aron shares his story about the measures he took to keep himself employed.  Mentioned here: If you are struggling with addiction, here are some resources available in the United States & Canada: In the United States: In Canada: - The Government of Canada website lists the resources available for each province.  [00:38:14] - Eric has Aron dive into his “holy shit” moment of only having two weeks to redo his work while under probation. Aron talks about his “swiss-cheese” resume and the drastic measure (which is NOT endorsed by ADHD reWired and its team or Aron Croft). He [Aron] then realized what it meant when people told him to “just focus.” Eric also affirms the Oh-moment, while Aron explains how these actions led to scheduling an appointment to getting an ADHD diagnosis. Then, Eric and Aron share the experience when they were asked how they managed to “survive” and “get this far”  before getting diagnosed.  [00:42:55] - Aron not only finishes his work after getting thrown under the bus, his environment changes and starts ADHD medication, and starts crushing it - getting promoted four times in six years. Then, Eric throws Aron a tough question, as he recounts working 9 hour days in a job he didn’t love, leading to some isolation. Aron shares his realization when ADHD medication wasn’t enough and needed to see the bigger picture and using specific strategies.  [00:46:17] - Eric reflects on his past successes and how he would do things differently. [00:47:50] - Aron shares the process of how he went from “Procrastinator in Chief” to developing the SMASH productivity System, his thoughts and feelings as he dug into the process while looking into his future, and what happened after his “fit of freaking out”. He talks about 30-minute productivity blocks, then mastering those principles in a 30-minute block that he could replicate.  [00:50:56] -  “I’m not going to outwork neurotypicals, so I need to outsmart them.” - Aron [00:51:01] - Select High-Leverage Actions [00:52:13] - Minimize Distractions [00:52:42] - Add Accountability [00:55:30] - Schedule it First! [00:56:51] - Hone Your Process [00:58:03] - Aron mentions using the Staircase Method and layering small improvements overtime. [00:58:57] - Aron & Eric share their closing thoughts… and it’s definitely worth a listen.  Connect with Aron:  Honorable Mentions: ? - A must-read and requirement before joining ADHD reWired’s Coaching & Accountability Groups (affiliate link)“If you struggle with prioritization, you must read this book.” - Eric Tivers Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mehan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens with Moira Maybin coming soon - Wait, What Was the Question? with Will Curb and Coach Roxie Martin. Reach out to Will and Roxie at   Don't Forget These, Too! — Support the show by becoming a Patron! — Get your name on the waitlist to join the fall season of ADHD reWired's Coaching and Accountability Groups — Join your ADHD-friendly co-working space! — Join Eric, Brendan, Will, MJ, Moira, Roxie, and Barb for an hour of Live Q&A on Zoom, every 2nd Tuesday of the month at 12:30pm Central (10:30am Pacific / 1:30pm Eastern)

390 | How to Recover from Years of Failure with Aron Croft

If you’ve wanted to hear more about ADHD reWired Coach, Roxie Martin, then this is the show you need to listen to. In this episode, Eric and Roxie get vulnerable and  dive into tackling fear, facing joy, and what it means for them to show up.  About Roxie: Roxie Martin is a certified life-coach, currently coaching her second season of ADHD reWired’s Coaching and Accountability Groups. She has 35 years of research experience in what it’s like to be an adult with ADHD, and a lifetime of hard-won wisdom to share. She has a colorful and diverse background that allows her to deeply relate and connect with almost anyone. She has been a ministry leader, a wife, a mom, a hair stylist, and a mentor. She is compassionate, encouraging, and has a finely-tuned bullshit-meter that helps cut quickly through the fluff and get right to the good stuff. [00:02:17] - Eric and Roxie go into the timeline of how she became one of the ADHD reWired Coaches. From ArC member to peer mentor, Eric wanted Roxie to become a coach for the groups.    [00:03:57] - Eric asks Roxie if she’s always innately had [her bullshit-meter] - her answer feels like an honest yes and explains why it feels weird to say it. They talk about intuition, as Eric feels like grad school beat the intuition out of [them] and learned not to trust the intuition, but has learned to listen to and amplify his intuition through coaching.   [00:05:31] - Eric talks about the vision of how things were “supposed” to go, have a laugh about how things went out-of-order, and how Roxie is coaching her second season and starting up a podcast with Will Curb called, “Wait, What was the Question?”   [00:06:40] - Eric and Roxie dive into who Roxie is, and the vulnerabilities Roxie has been exploring in her own life. Roxie goes more into “counterfeit” vulnerability through her own exploration and self-awareness. She talks about things that hadn’t changed over the years, and what she did when she was put into situations she had to be vulnerable in. Roxie goes more into what her actions used to be and verbalizes the feelings that came up for her when faced with a choice to take the easy or vulnerable way through.    [00:09:16] - Roxie answers Eric’s question about what it is she was numbing from. She talks about where she noticed it [the feelings] came up the most, such as events or parties or being in settings where she’s not comfortable - particularly social things, and where she knew she would have to have a hard conversation.     [00:10:27] - Roxie talks about what got her more curious, with Eric’s impression that she looks through a lens of curiosity. Roxie says she wishes she had a bullshit meter for herself but can feel it when she’s justifying, compromising, or playing small. She then talks about why she’s played small. She acknowledges she’s not able to change it, but is not able to ignore it. Hear more here about her beginning when she first joined ArC and talks about being dumb on purpose. She also talks about creating a safe space for the members of her groups.    [00:13:22] - Eric asks what her training has taught her about showing up in group. She says she’s learned a lot more about coaching from being part of the ArC seasons, with her classes still being valuable. She then dives into compassion being great, but you need compassion and strength in order to feel safe and secure. Roxie dives into why the strength-piece is important, talks about the ways we communicate information, and trusting the intuition and gut with the knowledge and strength.   [00:22:41] - Roxie and Eric shine a light on what Roxie has seen in her coaching sessions, what stands out for her, and what she’s learned from the members. She talks about impulse control, the excitement of witnessing growth and self-realized epiphanies, and reframing self-talk, reiterating that it’s a hard place to make progress without curiosity and compassion. Roxie also reveals some of the tips and tricks she’s learned from members.    [00:27:04] - Roxie explains more about picking up tools and how it’s helped her teach what she’s learned. Eric also talks about feeling clueless, being on time for class in grad-school, and explains why it’s important to dig into this stuff [as coaches.] He also talks about giving space as such an important skill, recognizing that Roxie does that really well.    [00:29:35] - Eric dives more into what Roxie mentioned earlier about “impulse control” and allowing members to make their own discoveries. Roxie dives into what she feels when she notices when she’s only giving advice, and how the impulse of giving advice comes from being in some kind of fear. Eric talks about the foggy mirror, as Roxie explains setting up her environment to show up mentally, emotionally, physically.    [00:32:33] - Roxie revisits Eric’s earlier question about her favorite types of people to work with. Roxie loves the diversity of folks she gets to work with, and instead shares the types of people she is most intimidated by. Then, they dive deep into the different types of vulnerability, and how different people will see vulnerability differently based on their own vulnerabilities. Roxie then verbalizes about adapting her approach to the different types of vulnerability that will come up in the coaching groups, and meeting people where they’re at. Roxie truly believes everyone has value and something to offer, and emphasizes why she works to set up the groups to be the safest place it can be.    [00:36:11] - “Vulnerability will look really similar to certain personality types.” - Roxie   [00:37:12] - “What is intuition’s […] thinking mind, and that’s curiosity.” - Eric   [00:42:57] - Roxie gets really vulnerable about how scary it is to acknowledge how much she loves what she’s doing. She dives even more into playing small, and how it was a strategy she adopted early on. She then goes in head first about joy and maintaining control around her own emotions.    [00:45:53] - The biggest obstacle for really taking [the coaching group content in] is all the bullshit in our heads. Roxie explains being curious, trusting the process, and how great things happen when we can trust the process.    [00:46:29] - “You’re not defective, there’s nothing wrong… We will be here. It’s an ongoing thing…” Roxie verbalizes what she wants for the coaching group members, and how this really is a community on the same path. Here, you really hear the joy in her voice of how much love she has for doing what she does with and in these groups.     [00:47:20] - Eric “outs” Roxie (and himself) about how “none of us” have [their] shit together, and how they set the record straight during group, as Eric reflects on his past-self compared to where he is now.    [00:49:16] - Roxie is amazed at how exciting things are on the other side of fear, and talks about the anxiety and fear from her first season when she started coaching. Then, when she was able to do it anyway, she realized the fear didn’t last and went through the whole process to where she is now, all with a growth mindset.    [00:53:07] - Go to to register for Season 26 of the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability groups! Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mehan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens with Moira Maybin coming soon - Wait, What Was the Question? with Will Curb and Coach Roxie Martin. Reach out to Will and Roxie at   Don't Forget These, Too! — Get your name on the waitlist to join the fall season of ADHD reWired's Coaching and Accountability Groups — Join your ADHD-friendly co-working space! — Support the show by becoming a Patron! — Join Eric, Brendan, Will, MJ, Moira, Roxie, and Barb for an hour of Live Q&A on Zoom, every 2nd Tuesday of the month at 12:30pm Central (10:30am Pacific / 1:30pm Eastern)

389 | Fear, Joy, and Showing up with ADHD reWired Coach - Roxie Martin

This week, we have the full panel of the ADHD reWired Podcast Family joining in for this month’s Q&A Session, recorded on July 13th 2021. Find all the good stuff below!   [00:03:56] Maria, a mom and former teacher, asks about subtypes of ADHD. She also asks about structure and looks for tools to strategize while jump-starting a teaching career online and plan better.  Eric explains how ADHD “subtypes” shifted to “presentations” because over time, the presentation of ADHD can change. He also goes in depth about the diagnostic criteria, and the differences between children and adults. Most adults are the “combined” type of ADHD, along with Eric himself. When looking for strategies, he goes on to explain how it’s important to look at the functional impairments. Any kind of diagnosis is a starting point, but isn’t prescriptive. Moira explains how as people age, the more we internalize symptoms, so the hyperactivity may be more in thought rather than physically hyperactive. Women are also more likely to be inattentive, in the inattentive type. As Maria put it: “Meta inattentiveness!”   [00:09:24] Malika asks about menopause and how she’s observed that her symptoms have become much worse since it came on full time.  Moira talks about estrogen, and once someone goes through menopause, the body doesn’t make any more. Estrogen reduces ADHD symptoms, which is why when women are pregnant, they present with fewer ADHD symptoms. And, while women are in perimenopause, the estrogen levels are more erratic than in puberty. She talks about how hormone replacement therapy can be used to replace estrogen, and it also depends on someone’s own health profile and family history,  and hormone replacement therapy may not be for everyone. Another suggestion was increasing medication during that time, and a lot of things around lifestyle become important. Resource mentioned here:    [0:14:31] Sandra asks, “How can I help my 14-year-old son become more organized for high school, and writing notes for his classes to study from for tests?” Brendan asks parents of ADHD kids: What’s going on with the IEP and the 504? What are the supports happening at school to help him get to where he needs to be? Brendan says the best option is to have someone take notes or provide them for him so that he has good notes to study from, whether it’s a teacher or a peer, so he can study notes that are useful. He explains that someone giving a model can help Sandra’s son understand how he should be taking notes so he can do a better job with moving forward. Brendan also explains to be patient as he practices his new [note-taking] skill, and to leverage IEPs, 504s, and talking to teachers, guidance counsellors, special education teachers, etc.  Roxie talks about how she’s had to work really hard to take better notes and that models are helpful. She acknowledges that it’s about incremental changes, because the template or the model doesn’t automatically mean we become amazing at it right away.  Resource mentioned here: Eric mentions a course on how to draw your notes. He also explains that sometimes we don’t know what’s important, so we might take notes on everything, then we try to distill what’s important and what’s not.  Brendan also suggests taking notes in two different colors, and to switch colors when a concept changes.  Will reiterates the sketchnote idea and is great to help create that organization. Will also mentions the Cornell-style of taking notes, then Brendan goes in depth with how they work and how he makes that style work for him. It can be good for [taking notes during] business meetings, too! Moira found how-to books, and suggests that note taking is a life-long skill. As a teacher, she actively tried to teach these tips to her students, not realizing it was because of her own struggle with it. She also recommends having conversations with educators who are going to be more helpful with things like this, so that it can be looked at as building a lifelong skill. It’s also okay for students to rely on their peer groups for good notes, share each other's strengths, and can make studying easier, too.  MJ looks at note-taking from the student-perspective and how she would have liked to have been a part of the conversation to explain what works [for her], what doesn’t, and why. She explains that allowing kids to have the voice to explain what does work versus being told how it’s “supposed” to be done could be really helpful.  Roxie brings up how it can be difficult to prioritize what’s important. She finds it helpful if she is really specific and succinct about what is going into the note-taking experience and writes a little road map. Eric emphasizes that, with all things ADHD, they require experimentation until we find out what works.   [00:30:30] Ryan, who is in her mid-20’s, talks about struggling in the workplace with event planning and asks about a good system and starting place for planning, looking for tools on one hand and methods on the other. Eric says she gets to try a bunch of different tools to find the ones that work. Then, once they “stop working”, it’s likely because it got boring to use. He explains that there isn’t one “right” way to manage “all the things.” One rule, Eric explains, is to, “Get things out of your head. Don’t keep things in your head ever, it’s one of the most reliable places where things get lost.” In other words: Externalize as much information as possible using things like a calendar or a to-do list. He goes on to say that the issue may not be the tool, but how often we are interacting with the tools we have. Eric then explains how to “cue” ourselves when things are coming up, and to write in more information we need on our to-do lists and in our calendars than we think we need. Brendan shares the way he used to consistently screw up his own calendar, and shares what he does now so that others don’t make the same mistakes. He emphasizes writing down a “point-person” when a task or calendar event involves reaching out to someone. Brendan also talks about segmenting the to-do list in “today”, “this week”, and “this month/later”, depending on the individual’s ability to hold information and organize, how breaking it down could reduce overwhelm, and to write specific dates so we know when things are coming up and when they are due.  Eric gets really specific: “What you’re doing NOW, what you’re doing NEXT. Everything else is just noise.”  Will says the biggest part about using planners is consistency in getting used to that system and how there’s no perfect planner. Using one that’s “good enough” often really helps, and that it’s “okay it’s not perfect.”  Roxie finds that when she’s having a hard time getting things done on her to-do list, it’s a good idea for her to check her boundaries if she is saying yes to too many things. Eric-ism: “Just because it got put on your to do list doesn’t mean it has squatter rights to stay there.”    [00:39:43] Kim asks about food and diet, and how they went on a whole-food plant-based vegan diet. They’ve found it has helped with their energy and ADHD symptoms, and wonders if that is the experience of others who have gone on a whole-food plan-based vegan diet.   MJ talks about how she experimented with pescatarian, vegan, then raw vegan diets in the past. For her, it depended on her activity levels and continues practicing with what her body feels like when she eats certain foods because it’s not always the same. She goes on to explain how it [a diet] depends on a person’s tolerances, allergies, and that it can take some experimentation, and learning and observing what feels good when we eat certain foods. Will says when we switch to diets like that, we tend to “up” the quality of foods we’re eating vs. eating foods detrimental to our ADHD. He also explains that there aren’t any specific studies [with data to back up] on diets that are good for ADHD. Roxie talks about inflammation, and how certain foods can cause inflammation, which causes brain-fog. For her, highly refined foods cause her to feel foggy.  Eric talks about how corn is in a ton of things, and when there’s inflammation, it causes brain-fog, which affects quality of life. On an individual basis, he also encourages paying attention to the foods that do make us feel good, and the ones that don’t make us feel good. Experiment, and drink lots of water! Brendan circles back to what Will spoke to - we feel good when we replace “the crap” with broccoli and lettuce and apples and stuff. It’s important to recognize what makes us feel better because extreme diets are hard to maintain, and instead look at the fine-tuning.  Moira works with a dietician who gave her an analogy: “When we have a sore throat, we’re not going to eat scratchy foods because it’s going to irritate our throats…. So if we’re eating smooth, cold things, it’s going to feel better. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that we should [always] eat that way.” And if we take something out of our diet like a whole food group but aren’t replacing it with something, we may become nutritionally deficient.    [00:48:34] Gina is in the middle of getting assessed for ADHD and wonders about medication to bridge the gap between her strategies and her brain. She asks what it felt like if any of the panelists began taking ADHD medication as an adult. She wonders if medication may have a placebo effect or if it’s actually working. Eric talks about a WOW-effect when taking ADHD meds/stimulant medication. He vividly remembers taking his ADHD medication and, for the first time, he got through a chapter and actually remembered what he just read. For Eric, when the meds are working, it’s a profoundly noticeable difference and shifts him out of neutral.  For Brendan, taking ADHD medication was subtle - more of a “heh!” than a “wow”. He noticed he would pick things up and put them away instead of just walking by them, thinking “Oh this must be what neurotypical people do.” Then, Eric and Brendan emphasize that their ADHD medication helps them do the things that normal people make look easy.  Moira found that, as she was driving, she wasn’t strategizing while driving. ADHD medication also gave her more peace because she didn’t have as many thoughts. She explains that folks who have ovaries and a cycle, hormones will impact how medication works throughout the cycle. Moira and Eric also explain that a general rule is to increase medication dosage until the side-effects outweigh the benefits.  Will is similar to Brendan with how the medication works for him, and finds it really noticeable when he’s not on medication. He notices it takes a long time to form thoughts, has long pauses, and answers things slowly. For Will, medication makes him feel “back to normal”.  MJ is also in the “heh” camp like Will and Brendan. The “wow” came later when she noticed that she was able to catch up on two weeks of paperwork when she started medication. Her house got really clean, too. Roxie, while talking with her accountability team, explained how she’s had a hard time activating on some things, and lost sight of the medication piece when it came to activation. She wanted to err on the side of caution and spoke with her doctor about her dosage. She was happy to discover she has options.  Eric explains how ADHD medication is a very efficacious medication, which does sometimes require trial and error.    Jaclyn asks for advice or resources for ADHD parents of ADHD toddlers, especially regarding discipline.  Brendan reframes “discipline”, which feels like having to let the kid “know” they’re in trouble. He likes to think more about boundaries, especially with toddlers. If they cross the boundary, they can be redirected and reign them in, instead of yelling at them. Gentle boundaries > Yelling. Brendan explains having a relationship with and being on the same team as our kids to reduce conflict, even in their teenage years. Moira explains how her and a friend wish, for their past selves, that there was more education about ADHD, being able to talk about people who had been there before as parents with ADHD and toddlers with ADHD. Moira also emphasizes taking care of ourselves, supporting ourselves, finding community, and doing everything we can to be a good parent.  Will has a 6-year-old who is diagnosed. As a parent, it calms him down to assume that they are trying their best and don’t know any better.  Eric quotes an adage: “[Your kid is] ...not giving you a hard time, they’re having a hard time.” Eric explains how ADHD is a developmental delay, and encourages taking the oxygen mask as much as we need to, especially if - as a parent - we also have ADHD. It’s okay for the adult in the family to take a time-out, too. Brendan and Roxie wrap up the final thoughts about parenting with ADHD.   [01:06:08] Will closes the show with a groan-worthy dad-joke.  Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mehan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens with Moira Maybin coming soon - Wait, What Was the Question? with Will Curb and Coach Roxie Martin. Reach out to Will and Roxie at   Don't Forget These, Too! — Get your name on the waitlist to join the fall season of ADHD reWired's Coaching and Accountability Groups — Join your ADHD-friendly co-working space! — Support the show by becoming a Patron! — Join Eric, Brendan, Will, MJ, Moira, Roxie, and Barb for an hour of Live Q&A on Zoom, every 2nd Tuesday of the month at 12:30pm Central (10:30am Pacific / 1:30pm Eastern) Other Noteworthy Mentions on the Show:  

388 | July Q&A with Brendan Mehan, Will Curb, MJ Siemens, Coach Moira Maybin, Coach Roxie Martin, & Barb

Give a warm welcome to the human extraordinaire who helps Eric behind-the-scenes as the executive assistant of ADHD reWired - Barb McDonagh! Not only is Barb the biggest fan of her 13-year-old son (who also has ADHD), she also got her B.A. from Columbia College in Chicago majoring in poetry, and a Masters degree in teaching from National Louis University.  As of this episode, Barb has been with ADHD reWired for two years. Listen to Eric and Barb as they talk about her journey to discovering her ADHD, how curiosity led to setting healthier boundaries, and how trying something different led to a community of people who you too, just might relate to!  What will you find in this episode? [00:01:23] - Eric introduces the one and only Barb McDonagh and talks about how the last two eye-opening years working for ADHD reWired helped her discover her own ADHD and how it’s changed the way she looks at her past. [00:03:17] - Barb talks about the reasons why she was interested in ADHD, and how being encouraged to try something different led to where she is now with ADHD reWired. She realizes that all the stories she’s read in the spheres of ADHD reWired sounded far too relatable.  [00:05:21] - Eric talks about self-examination and growth, while Barb talks about the books she’s read and the process of what some of the growth and being curious meant to her. Barb also talks about what kicked her journey off, the process of gaining self-awareness, and how she was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD. [00:08:14] - Barb answers Eric’s question, wondering how some of the personal work she’s done has affected her family life, and how it’s had a positive impact to reduce overwhelm, frustration, and setting healthier boundaries. Barb also mentions how she began asking for help.  [00:09:48] - Eric and Barb talk more about boundaries, self-advocating, and what more healthy boundary setting can look like when you feel like you’re always on the go.  [00:11:07] - If anyone knows what an old transistor radio sounds like when you’re trying to find the channel (…) That’s how I feel and I can’t tune in.” [00:12:05] - Mentioned here: Crucial Conversations ; Barb talks about how didn’t know how to talk about what she needed, and discovers how she can ask for what she needed.  [00:12:53] - Barb and Eric talk about how, in the past, Barb had not really felt seen and how that has evolved. Barb speaks about looking “normal” and getting through a day, and what it was like to be able to talk and share her story and gain new friendships.  [00:21:56] - Eric isn’t used to doing ad-copy in real-time, but get back on track talking about being seen and what kind of impact that’s had on Barb.  [00:22:21] - Eric and Barb talk about the things that helped her recognize the things that were going on for her. Barb also went through the coaching groups and talks about how she wasn’t yet at the point to be open to sharing and open. She discovers the power of sharing our stories and sharing the wins. She jokes about how the boss knows how hard she is on herself.  [00:24:26] - Eric and Barb talk about productivity and prioritization when feeling overwhelmed and getting defensive. They also talk about how their working discussions have evolved, and how it can be hard to pull away from a task. They also discuss ways to make their roles more efficient as the business grows, and how those efficiencies and changes also need to be ADHD friendly since both Barb and Eric have ADHD, too! [00:29:03] - A discussion about executive function (EF) burnout is something that cannot be easily ignored, and how both Eric and Barb can still get distracted with “one more thing”. Barb makes a point that you “can’t set [self-care] aside.”   [00:30.01] - Barb and Eric talk about Pickleball - Eric’s favorite sport! [00:37:00] - After the Time Timer falls again, Eric and Barb jump into a quick round of coaching around having “all this stuff to do”, and different ways to curb distraction and get into deep focus. Quick mentions of dedicated time and setting boundaries come up again, and to remember to write down the things that do work! Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mehan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens with Moira Maybin coming soon - Wait, What Was the Question? with Will Curb and Coach Roxie Martin Don't Forget These, Too! — Get your name on the waitlist to join the fall season of ADHD reWired's Coaching and Accountability Groups — Join your ADHD-friendly co-working space! — Support the show by becoming a Patron! — Join Eric, Brendan, Will, MJ, Moira, Roxie, and Barb for an hour of Live Q&A on Zoom, every 2nd Tuesday of the month at 12:30pm Central (10:30am Pacific / 1:30pm Eastern)

387 | Healthy Curiosity and Self Discovery with Barb from ADHD reWired

Planning a vacation is hard. It's even harder when you have ADHD! Listen in as your host, Eric Tivers, and his guest - fellow podcaster and ADHD reWired Coach - Moira Maybin of The ADHD Friendly Lifestyle brainstorm some of the ways you can plan an ADHD-Friendly vacation in an ADHD-Friendly way. About Moira: Moira Maybin has spent 25 years as an educator, working in classrooms, in special education and, as a learning assistance teacher with an educational psychology background. She lived through years of overwhelm and failed attempts at trying harder that compromised her self-care, physical, and mental health until finally receiving her ADHD Diagnosis. After experiencing a terrifying fall off a 50-foot cliff in 2018 that left her with serious injuries, she knew she had to commit to creating an ADHD Friendly Lifestyle and give up on trying harder if she really wanted to thrive. She’s since re-shaped her life completely for a better fit, based on current research. Moira has dedicated the last 5 years of her life to diving in deep to learn as much as she can about ADHD and its impact on women. Now she’s opening up about what it’s like being a woman with late-diagnosed ADHD and a mom of two children, sharing the knowledge she’s gained on her own personal journey, and as an educator and advocate for people with ADHD. What will you find in this episode? [00:02:05] - Eric & Moira talk about why this was a second attempt at recording an episode together [00:02:35] - Eric & Moira recognize when it's time to take the "exit ramp" [00:03:00] - Eric talks about struggling planning a vacation; Moira talks about her own experiences of not being able to relax at home, and how going away was the only way to decompress. [00:03:45] - One of the challenges for Eric is figuring out when to take a vacation. He talks about being stuck on a 7-year merry-go-round wondering when the right time will be. [00:04:19] - Moira shares her own experience when she got into teaching but didn't end up actually going anywhere during the summers. [00:04:35] - Moira asks Eric if he's spent some time wondering and dreaming as he talks about a Phish concert he's been waitlisted for. [00:06:05] - Moira acknowledges how Eric describes most of the things she does in advance of a trip, and how having a narrow focus is not so overwhelming. [00:06:30] - Moira says he might need another vacation after Eric's big trip, and why. [00:07:35] - Moira talks about "training" to figure out what to take and what not to take during trips and shows. [00:08:00] - Moira mentions making packing lists for herself and her family and doesn't try to think up anything on her own; using lists as a frame of reference and other resources to help save executive functions are extremely helpful. [00:08:40] - Eric jumps in and mentions and [00:10:00] - Eric has a big question: What happens if a spot (for the Phish concert) doesn't open up? Moira shares her thoughts, what to watch for with airlines and tickets, how travelling on points is easier to change, and having a back-up plan. [00:12:00] - Moira asks Eric what else he likes to do and if going for an event or going for something completely different is part of a vacation for him. [00:12:47] - Eric thinks an all-inclusive resort sounds amazing because you don't have to plan much and likes the idea of going somewhere warm and sunny. [00:13:33] - Eric and Moira talk about how you can find others who have done some of the research and work already because they've already been there. [00:14:10] - One of the things that has helped Moira the most is going somewhere more than once. [00:14:26] - Mentioned here → [00:15:00] - Moira talk about time shares and points to limit the systems she has to navigate when planning a vacation, while Eric asks her about "glamp"-ing [00:16:33] - Eric says he needs to make vacations a part of his life as Moira talks about why she needs to make vacations a part of her life, and how it's evolved with growing kids. [00:18:33] - Eric and Moira say there just isn't really a good time (to vacation), so we need to make time to do it. [00:23:37] - Eric asks about other ways to have a more ADHD-friendly vacation [00:24:38] - Eric and Moira talk about guided tours, cupcakes, bike rentals, and routines [00:25:38] - Moira and Eric share some thoughts about Disney World [00:26:16] - Moira recommends to piggy-back off of folks who have the experiences and get the information from them to help narrow the scope of your research [00:26:52] - Eric and Moira talk about dietary and food sensitivities and ways to work with and around them [00:28:14] - Moira recommends travelling where you can have a kitchen, find places that do breakfast, and to hit-up a Costco! [00:30:20] - Eric asks Moira how far she plans in advance [00:30:34] - Eric and Moira talk about how time-shares actually work [00:31:59] - Eric calls out all the listeners who have planned vacations to share their ADHD-friendly tips! [00:32:29] - Eric and Moira talk about planning recovery days after a vacation, having a vacation within a vacation, and why it's important [00:33:12] - Costco car-rental, anyone? [00:33:55] - Start with these two things: When and What. [00:35:04] - Eric and Moira talk about other all-inclusive resorts and other features of vacationing in different places. [00:37:26] - Eric confirms a theme of narrowing the focus. [00:38:26] - Eric and Moira talk about cruises [00:39:36] - Moira talks about Googling slow-travel [00:40:08] - Canada is pretty cool, too ;) [00:41:06] - Moira just might host a vacation-planning session in the Adult Study Hall Community! [00:42:09] - Eric checks if he's still on the waitlist.... Visit Moira's website at and get a chance to join her section of group coaching in the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Groups by heading over to ! What Else is Mentioned? Check out the Other Podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network: with Brendan Mehan with Will Curb with MJ Siemens with Moira Maybin coming soon - Wait, What Was the Question? with Will Curb and Coach Roxie Martin Don't Forget These, Too! — Get your name on the waitlist to join the fall season of ADHD reWired's Coaching and Accountability Groups — Join your ADHD-friendly co-working space! — Support the show by becoming a Patron! — Join Eric, Brendan, Will, MJ, Moira, Roxie, and Barb for an hour of Live Q&A on Zoom, every 2nd Tuesday of the month at 12:30pm Central (10:30am Pacific / 1:30pm Eastern) Random fact: Did you know that citric acid can not only be derived from cane sugar or wheat, but can also be derived from corn? If you have a corn sensitivity, it might be a good idea to avoid citric acid as an ingredient, if you can!

386 | Why is it so Hard to Plan a Vacation? with ADHD reWired Coach Moira Maybin

Listen as your host Eric Tivers and his guest Roland Tanner talk about how he procrastinated his way to success on . Roland Tanner has procrastinated his way through careers as a book seller, Medieval historian, author, publisher, software developer, podcaster, and would-be politician. He has sometimes been accused of being an entrepreneur! After a decade of battling depression, he scored top marks on an online ADHD test and was formally diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 50. What will you find in this episode? [00:01:29] - Eric introduces Roland as he procrastinated his way through careers as a book seller, Medieval historian, author, publisher, software developer, podcaster, and would-be politician & has been accused of being an entrepreneur. [00:02:00] - Hear Roland's voice! [00:02:13] - Eric brings to light how Roland feels that what he has to share doesn't have much value [00:02:33] - Roland talks about having an unplanned career. He explains his life with ADHD is an "interesting" example and that his career paths have certain been varied. [00:03:00] - Eric and Roland talk about how Roland wanted to be a politician, motivated by wanting an assistant to take care of his calendar & email, before he had any inkling of ADHD [00:03:40] - Roland talks about the executive functions of running his own business [00:04:03] - Roland really enjoys talking about politics & talks about his involvement and saw how others had their "executive function" minds externalized and handed to other people so they could concentrate on the conversations and people in front of them [00:05:10] - Roland says it didn't work out, but it was a fun process [00:05:13] - Eric asks how close the political race was [00:05:30] - Roland talks about the way the local politics work in Canada [00:05:41] - Roland explains the jobs and roles he played in running for local office [00:05:44] - He also talks about being a fairly shy guy and being described as introverted [00:06:01] - Roland observed that people liked talking politics [00:06:15] - Roland talks about being unsure if the job would have been very good for him because of the stress, but the "retail sales" part of it was a blast for him. [00:06:30] - The Dam Busters Story comes up [00:07:16] - Eric asks Roland about "Procrastinating the way to success" [00:07:40] - Eric asks what Roland was behind on when he scheduled this podcast interview [00:07:43] - Roland talks about debugging client websites & talks about his publishing company [00:08:00 - He talks about how he was supposed to be translating Medieval Latin documents but learned how to write code instead, which turned into an added job [00:08:32] - Roland talks about the challenges and being in a constant state of distraction [00:08:50] - Roland touches briefly about being a musician, what he thought about fidget spinners before he knew about his ADHD, and how learning guitar was his own way of fidgeting [00:09:45] - Roland uses playing instruments as his own equivalent of meditation [00:10:10] - Roland talks a bit about his experiences in the UK and taking A-Levels and how he'd play guitar instead of revise his notes [00:10:50] - Roland talks about his podcast for the "905" Telephone Code [00:11:20] - Roland brings up how the area is growing exponentially, how his area was portrayed, and how it's now one of the most ethnically diverse areas in Canada [00:12:08] - Roland brings up some of the issues in Canada surrounding the First Nations and Indigenous community with the discoveries of the graves and bodies being uncovered around residential schools [00:12:30] - Roland talks about working with First Nations involved with the Sixties Scoop [00:12:44] - He feels, even in a limited way, happy to be contributing to more knowledge of where (he) lives sharing the knowledge of First Nations & Indigenous issues in Canada [00:13:07] - He's relieved that there's something of an awakening of what's actually happened and what is still happening [in Canada] [00:13:33 - Eric asks Roland about going in deep into what he becomes interested in, and how that's gotten Roland into a bit of trouble at times [00:13:45] - Roland talks about being an "Accidental" entrepreneur and talks about not being very business-minded or driven like other people [00:13:58] - He also talks about how running your own business is tough [00:14:38] - Roland talks about the "boredom threshold" not being enough [00:20:50] - Before the break, Eric asks Roland about being a part of writing parts of speeches for the Queen (of England) [00:21:28] - Roland talks about his first career after the bookselling was a PhD in in Medieval history and talks about studying the Parliament of Scotland [00:22:44] - Roland brings up the speechwriting and how these experiences look good in a resume [00:23:15] - Eric asks what he's learned from all of these experiences [00:23:25] - Roland talks about the most frustrating part of the rules involved with these particular speechwriting opportunities [00:24:04] - Roland talks about his time at St. Andrews and the rules his friends had to follow [00:24:30] - Eric and Roland talk about age, not knowing about ADHD until later, growing up, and how Roland didn't do so hot in school [00:25:05] - Roland talks about the 1970's and how he was fortunate to have parents that didn't believe the negative things his teaches had commented about him [00:25:33] - Roland talks about being "spectacularly bad" at the teaching methods that didn't suit him but still ended up with a PhD. [00:26:13] - The subjects Roland was interested in were more like procrastination and fun, but other subjects felt like more work [00:26:44] - Roland and Eric bring up dyscalculia [00:27:15] - Eric talks about how people with ADHD don't have the luxury of doing "work that just pays the bills" and how we have to be interested in what we're doing [00:27:28] - Eric speaks to how interest drives dopamine and feeds the executive functions [00:27:51] - Roland also talks about how if he's really interested in a topic, he can't stop working on it, like staying up too late working on a task [00:28:19] - Roland talks about how staying up too late is self-destructive behavior [00:28:28] - Roland acknowledges that ADHD is still new to him, talks about getting formally diagnosed, recalls the first time he spoke with others who also have ADHD, and his moments of discovery [00:29:15] - Roland talks about how he got introduced to someone with ADHD and getting help with homework [00:29:35] - The thing that stood out to Roland was how a group of people talked similarly to how he does [00:30:03] - Roland brings up having an absent-minded professor thing his whole life even though he's not a professor [00:30:16] - Roland talks about some of the incredible things he's done because of a bad memory, and how moments of recognition can be powerful [00:30:56] - Eric acknowledges the reactions fellow ADHD brains get when they tell each other their ADHD stories [00:30:19] - Roland tells a story of one of his absent-minded moments with his at-the-time future wife [00:32:03] - Eric asks Roland if the ADHD diagnosis brings things into perspective as Roland acknowledges but still finds himself, through force-of-habit, having negative self-talk and what helps [00:32:41] - Roland brings up the first-time-wearing-glasses analogy [00:33:15] - Roland talks about tidying a drawer being a wonderful (and relatable) achievement [00:33:39] - Eric and Roland talk about the things that feel like big wins [00:39:05] - Eric asks Roland what he's been doing to address some of the negative self-talk [00:39:15] - Roland acknowledges that it's still a big challenge as a very transitional time in his life [00:39:34] - Roland uses the analogy of wearing "grooves into your mind" by saying something enough times, including using self-deprecation as a defense mechanism [00:40:04] - Roland feels lacking a sense of humor without it [00:40:15] - Roland is learning how to feel good about being confident vs. embarrassed about being confident [00:40:30] - He talks about how habits are difficult to change [00:41:13] - Roland finds it challenging to change even the smallest things [00:41:29] - Eric gives Roland a challenge [00:41:56] - Eric goes in depth about how, no matter someone's age, making positive changes IS possible [00:43:20] - Eric talks about accepting "what is" [00:43:30] - Eric talks about our itty-bitty shitty committee [00:44:38] - Eric acknowledges that with ADHD, "we want progress yesterday." [00:45:35] - Eric brings up how our brains and bodies want homeostasis [00:46:14] - Eric encourages Roland to keep connecting with the ADHD community [00:46:24] - Roland continues to learn and says the experiences are huge. [00:47:32] - Roland explains his next schemes for "world domination" [00:47:47] - Eric and Roland talk about history, repeating history, and making new mistakes after we've learned from history [00:48:46] - Roland shares his final thoughts Also mentioned in this episode:

385 | The Self-Taught Lifestyle with Roland Tanner

In this episode, Eric Tivers is joined by , , and ADHD reWired coaches and Roxie Martin. Barb also joins the panel as the ADHD reWired podcast family takes in and answers the questions from the listeners of . , we missed you in June!  Every second Tuesday of the month, the ADHD reWired panel takes questions from our listeners live about their ADHD-related topics. Whether it’s personal or professional, the panelists are here every single month to ask questions and offer their knowledge and unique perspectives to help ADHD folks find the solutions they need.  Thank you for listening to the Q & A session this month. We cover a wide variety of topics and provide creative takeaways, no matter what stage you're in with your diagnosis. Listen in as we discuss your questions and the struggle we all continue working through as we navigate with ADHD. Find the other podcasts on the ADHD reWired Podcast Network:   What will you find in this episode? [00:01:43] - Welcomin the ADHD reWired Podcast Family!  [00:02:10] - Roxie and Will confirm rumors about their new podcast [00:03:21] - Jane asks, “What can you do when you just cannot get your brain to engage, even if you want to?  [00:03:34] - Eric explains how trying to force it doesn’t work; he shifts to prioritizing sleep, and his brain doesn’t (typically) work with lack of sleep.  [00:04:27] - Will says going for a walk and getting movement in is helpful. [00:05:05] - Eric talks about how even though taking breaks is difficult, he always feels better after doing so. [00:05:38] - Moira talks about hormones and how expectations can be managed around hormonal cycles, while Eric mentions her podcast [the ADHD Friendly Lifestyle!] [00:06:37] - Roxie talks about riding on someone’s coattails, listens to ADHD-related podcasts & content, and enjoys singing karaoke for a break. [00:07:22] - Eric mentions Adult Study Hall and how a pomodoro dance break was really useful and fun! [00:07:52] - When MJ feels stuck, they talk about reaching out and telling someone, talking with their partner for a break, doing jumping jacks, and taking a pet-parent break.  [00:08:53] - Will encourages ADHD folks to write down things that don’t work and mentions how scrolling social media doesn’t typically work.  [00:09:18] - Eric likes video games but doesn’t usually stop at just 5 minutes of playing.  [00:10:03] - Scott asks about being on Adderall and wonders if his experiences are because of taking medication.  [00:10:27] - Eric encourages folks to talk to their doctors and the documented side-effects of stimulant medication.  [00:15:50] - Terry wants the panelists to talk about medications, particularly when kids are reluctant and contrary to medical advice. [00: 16:15] - Eric talks about how the research shows that when parents push medication during adolescence, the likelihood of the teens going back to medication as adults is drastically decreased. Eric encourages to allow the teen to make the call, which makes it more likely for them to go back to the medication as adults.  [00:17:04] - Eric also encourages parents to read about motivational interviewing. [00:17:56] - Moira encourages parents to include the kids as part of the conversation.  [00:20:10] - Eric encourages a healthy-fat high-protein breakfast before giving them their medication and let kids eat when they’re hungry.  [00:21:07] - Andrew wants to improve his communication skills and wonders if CBT or other methods could be helpful. [00:21:36] - Eric says CBT or DBT could be helpful.  [00:22:06] - Mentioned: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, and Crucial Conversations by Joseph Grenny and Kerry Patterson  [00:23:15] - Will talks about trying different communication models, such as a phone call or text to give the brain time to catch up. [00:24:13] - Eric says to take a break but 23] commit to coming back.  [00:25:00] - Roxie realizes trying to get into problem solving before we’re ready that we have such a huge breakdown. [00:25:10] - Mentioned: Change Your Questions, Change Your Life by Marilee Adams [00:25:25] - Kristen asks, “How do I lessen my interrupting in group discussions?” [00:25:36] - Moira talks about hyperarousal and treatments that helped her [00:26:03] - Eric and Moira encourage writing stuff down; Eric talks about some coping mechanisms and sitting in the discomfort of silence.  [00:27:00] - Will talks about cultural conversational styles across the U.S.  [00:27:37] - Suzanne asks about how to respond or having a set of pre-fabricated responses when people make comments about over-planning and other ADHD-related topics, while keeping composed. [00:28:20] - Eric thinks it’s cute when someone says, “You’ll remember that.”  [00:28:42] - MJ admits to being a chronic over-planner and talks about coping mechanisms they’ve developed with having ADHD. [00:30:23] - MJ encourages being okay with what we do and to give ourselves grace, and “Slow motion is better than no motion! [00:31:47] - Suzanne also asks if a lot of this is internal dialogue and talks about everything she writes down after grocery shopping.  [00:32:36] - Eric says, “Do what works for you!” [00:32:48] - Moira talks about being selective with sharing about her ADHD and driving with a GPS is always useful for her. [00:34:20] - Hannah asks about international support for people with ADHD. [00:41:10] - Mentioned: adhd-hub.com / adhdactually.com (not reviewed) [00:41:34] - Elaine asks about “transition dread” [00:42:48] - Roxie asks Elaine some coaching questions  [00:45:08] - Elaine talks about food sensitivities  [00:45:45] - MJ also asks Elaine some coaching questions and talks about doing new tasks. [00:47:06] - Elaine is reminded of fun things & wonders about doing brand new tasks.  [00:47:32] - Eric asks Elaine if there is anything she can let go of and talks about “CRS” [00:48:15] - Eric and Elaine talk about admin work while being self-employed and being seen. [00:48:57] - Eric stresses that it is important that you feel seen and understood by the professionals you are working with and to get people who understand you on your team. [00:49:46] - Eric says he will always need help, and needing help is okay. [00:50:38] - Rob asks if neurotypical folks have the same problems or issues that folks with ADHD have.  [00:52:17] - Eric mentions that we may not be fully aware that we do some things better than other people because those things don’t feel hard. [00:53:17] - Eric talks about the struggle of putting something in the mail. [00:53:58] - Moira acknowledges that neurotypical people have the same struggles, but that ADHD also affects us socially, at home, and affects our working memory.  [00:54:58] - MJ shares their observations about how certain tasks seem much easier for neurotypical folks than ADHD folks.   [00:56:05] - Grace asks if coaching would be useful even with a brand-new diagnosis and still earned a PhD [00:56:30] - Eric talks about coping skills, intelligence, and gives kudos for resilience and tenacity. [00:56:58] - All the panelists vote “Yes” to group-coaching for ADHD, no matter what stage or how recent the diagnosis was.  [00:57:58] - Jason asks how to go about getting a diagnosis in Canada. [00:58:23] - MJ highly encourages folks to find professionals who specialize in ADHD and why that’s important. [00:59:28] - Moira mentions CADDRA and CADDAC who list practitioners in Canada, and the importance of knowing what symptoms to talk about.  [01:00:56] - Eric encourages folks to get on a list to see someone even if it’s a long wait.  [01:02:41] - The panelists circle back to Terry’s question about keeping kids accountable without nagging them. [01:03:15] - Barb talks about dry-erase boards and letting her son check things off instead of nagging. [01:03:45] - Eric repeats motivational interviewing - it’s a great place to start, and says there is no such thing as failing when we’re trying new things.    Also mentioned in this episode: Become a of ADHD reWired

384 | June Q&A with Will Curb, MJ Siemens, Coach Moira Maybin, Coach Roxie Martin, & Barb

The podcast for adults with ADHD. Hear stories, learn strategies, and get great productivity tips as we talk about the real-life struggles and what it takes to achieve success. Host, Eric Tivers, LCSW, is a psychotherapist, coach and entrepreneur (with ADHD) in private practice. Eric interviews a variety of guests. Many are people just like yourself, as well professionals, entrepreneurs, and ADHD experts.

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ADHD reWired

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