Hot off his new special Pete Holmes chews nicotine gum and joins Chelsea for a scholarly spiritual exploration. A discussion of the end of holiday cheer, gradients of sobriety, memory photo albums, missing your "comedy class," intrusive thoughts, breath work, not being poly, sleep, yoga, and snacks. Pete asks himself questions and quotes Boy Genius, Eckhart Tolle, Alan Watts, Ram Dass, and Rupert Spira. Old references like MOTPC and MYM and Deec PJ. Chelsea brings a real live gavel to make snap judgements! Callers discuss foods. Please sound off in the comments...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Call Chelsea Peretti

AM I AWARE?

Musician Will Schwartz joins Chelsea for a joyous pod full of songs and singing about boundaries, love, and technology. Will contemplates his past life as a comedic personality. A caller infuriatingly calls all buttons “buzzers.” Chelsea writes live emails to a variety of experts. We peruse the case of Atlanta Andrew, a recluse without a door, and Toronto Josh (subjected by his husband to radio silence). We close it out with a caller who was attacked by a vicious dog!   Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperettiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SINGY AND CLINGY

Tim Heidecker joins Chelsea in her 500 degree studio to take turns spiraling and ask callers to play a game called: "Who's Slurpin'?" Han calls. A 28 year old caller from Perth has searing insight into Tim's past visits to Perth! Ghosts, energy, spirit, and soul. Tim plays one of his songs. A caller shares some acting class lunacy involving bone breakage. We examine the irksome blase tone of cooking content. Daddy's dinner bell. Tim's fans call and promote his entire body of work. A poly dude whose therapist skipped out on him buries the lede. Library intrusive thought direction. Suspenders, California. Olives, meatballs, lemons, empanadas, mac n cheese, green bean casserole, pizza, and balsamic glaze. A loose goose-attack framework.    Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperettiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

SLURP WARS

A mom calls for momtalk. A dude with a deep belly button shares his challenges and triumphs. A discussion of how to get off social media. Car crash alerts. A hematologist calls. An eyeliner rec. Military time. Rubbery pancakes and waffles. Grama impressions and reflections. Food test: gravy. Talking to callers like cute dogs. A barista calls from Alaska. And finally an interview with a couple who replaced their massive grass lawn with a native wildflower garden, thus inspiring their neighbors and the world beyond.    Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperettiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I LOVE BEING A SPECK OF DUST

On this episode, we dive into the sci-fi world of head injuries and brain problems. Two legendary guests join us: Dr. Langer, Chair of Neurosurgery at Lenox Hill Hospital, and star of two riveting Netflix docu-series "Emergency NYC"  and "Lenox Hill," AND: Morgan Murphy, kiss-ready comedian and Abbott Elementary writer extra-ordinaire. Plus calls from various afflicted parties, blithering on with so-and-so and whosy whatsit. Thanks to iHeart music catalog for an exploration of musical nirvana.   Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperetti  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

YOU ARE NOT THE SAME

A mouse encounter. A lady swims “near” a shark. Two insane girls call. Just another day on the pod until some Brit in the medical profession shares a harrowing dog attack tale. Finally, composer Chris Lennertz calls and details his BEAR ATTACK STORY!!!!! *JACKPOT SOUND EFFECT* Hashtag bear attack. Hashtag Lake Tahoe. Hashtag jackpot sound effect.   Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperetti  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

PROXY ANIMAL ATTACK STORIES CULMINATING IN ACTUAL ANIMAL ATTACKS

German legend Oliver calls to inquire after his mysterious letter and Chelsea shares with him about the common practices in Hollywood. A baseball player takes us on a party-boi rollercoaster. An Australian caller gives Chelsea a chance to practice her accent. Chelsea's ex "Chance" (nick kroll) - calls and shares about his copycat podcast and tries to get back with Chelsea until she says yes, at which point he's out. "I loved you too much to date you." A jackpot food test including: swordfish, sundried tomatoes, kale. A gent explores love and the loneliness of puking on an airplane. Esteemed actress Retta calls from the set of Parks and Recreation to fantasize about coyote hill life, magic sike, etc. A caller calls his mom a broke bitch and shares about their relationship and breaks into song. Nacho talk. A cruel homecoming prank. Crying hard during Batman. Coyote guard donkeys who karaoke. Questionable parenting stories. And finally, honey-voiced singing legend Richard Marx - calls and sings, discusses hits, shares about writing songs with Luther Vandross and calls the "Coffee Crankin'" anthem pitchy.    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

BEST OF CCP 1 - WEIRDOS, FREAKS, AND OUTCASTS

Chelsea debuts a new dramatic play-in-progress reading excerpt at Vulture Fest, this time set against the backdrop of a barren island off the coast of Massachusetts. "Thacher Island" features a fisherwoman marooned on an island whose son is mysteriously lost at sea, a seagull named Silver, a dark secret, and a pair of strange visitors who may change things forever... Q&A follows. Starring John Early, Kaitlin Olson, and Xosha Roquemore. Stage directions read by Deanna Barillari.   Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperettiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A very special CCP: THACHER ISLAND

As a holiday gift, we offer you this classic CCP dramatic play excerpt reading, which many callers claim is a family holiday listening tradition. Written by Chelsea Peretti. With Kate Berlant, John Early, Yassir Lester, Esther Povitsky, Xosha Roquemore, Emily Spivey and narration by Dave King. Q&A follows.   Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperettiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

CCP CLASSICS: “RAINS COMIN’ IN!“

Tinseltown MUA Nova Kaplan visits the studio to discuss tiktok makeup trends such as: pumpkin girl makeup, cloud makeup, faux freckles, red carpet looks, and stage makeup, while giving Chelsea a "Latte Girl" beat. Chelsea tries to get her barky dog to bark and learns he is no show-pony. A caller pretends she has old skin. A lass with mild eczema on her knuckles shares her girlfriend's harrowing medical tale. A gent is mysteriously cured of Psoriasis. Famous dermatologist Dr. Emma dishes on bot flies and her gory skin disorder series "Save My Skin." She compares cutting open boils and cysts to unboxing videos. Immediately thereafter Ojai Bakestress Emily Alben penetrates Chelsea's mouth with 3 types of LEMONY DESSERT!!! Chelsea erroneously whitesplains hot sauce! Etc. Plus: slammin' new music cues from the iheart vault!    Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperettiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

TRENDS, AFFLICTIONS, BAKED GOODS

The Call Chelsea Podcast returns with calls about PEPSI LOVING BEARS! CARROT LOVING HORSES! TUCKED SHEETS! BAKED POTATOES! Featuring ASMR, coffee songs, an analysis of trying to get shredded (including push-up condescension), new sound effects, couture sound effects, a caller named Crisp, and a caller who treats Chelsea like a patient. Cake pops emerge as a super villain. From meandering to over-produced - there’s sure to be something for everyone! Aggressive sound work done in post by friend of the show and music producer Kool Kojak.    Subscribe to Big Money Players Diamond on Apple Podcasts to get this episode ad-free and early access to bonus content: https://apple.co/callchelseaperettiSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

69 AND SHREDDED

The legendary podcast returns, imagining what happened BEFORE it in time AND space- jk its just a new version of the pod! Now with interviews, live taste tests, special guests, makeovers, video, and stuff like that but still maintaining the integrity of medical and bear fixations. And you: the caller.    New episodes starting November 9. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

CALL CHELSEA PERETTI: THE PREQUEL. IN ANOTHER DIMENSION!!!!!

Beloved comedian Chelsea Peretti takes calls on weekly themed episodes, interacts with callers, and plays special music and sound effects. Lots of discussion of bear attacks, fixation on minutia, and administration of food tests.

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Call Chelsea Peretti

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