When you come from nothing, it’s natural to push toward achievement. But what happens when you’ve achieved what you wanted?  Does the bar move higher, do you fear losing it all, or can you sit back and enjoy the fruits of your labor?  Antonio Porretta joins me today to hash over the conversation we started having over coffee nearly 10 years ago. We’re able to look back, laugh and identify the key decisions that got us where we are.    In this episode, listen for: Setting the guidelines for what's possible and what’s worth worrying about Walking the tightrope between striving for more versus benign grateful for what you have  Entrepreneurship can be lonely, so actively create ways to feel connected All the fear lies in anticipation of preconceived (false) notions in your head At some point, we must consider what our ultimate goal is. “More” isn’t a goal. What is the point of scrimping and saving if you never stop and just enjoy what you have? Consider the sacrifice the generation before ours made so that we can have the privilege to look at life through our current lens. Maybe the goal should be just to give our kids a more advanced starting point than what we had.   www.unlearningproject.org

Confessions Of A Financial Advisor

Coffee Talk

We face risks daily in areas of money, health, kids, family, education, career, etc. Some risk has to do with the decisions we make while other risk lies in not making a move. In what areas of your life do you think you’re conjuring up risk that doesn’t really exist or that’s holding you back? As with many things, our personal risk assessment begins with what we learned in childhood. In some ways, we want to continue what our parents did, but in other ways, we’ll have to make a conscious effort to unlearn the risks that they did or didn’t take.  What proportion of our perceived risk is not real?  How does exposure affect our perception of risk? Do you tend to air on the side of caution or disregard risk? How would you act if you knew that risk wasn’t real? With heightened self-awareness, you could identify and cherry-pick risks you’re willing to take, identify biases, and alter areas in your life intentionally.   

Risk Assessments

Isn’t it funny (not in the moment maybe, but eventually) how basically anyone can find research to prove their point no matter how extreme it may seem? The truth is, any “study” can be manipulated to include or exclude certain test controls, age groups, or other potential data points to prove their own bias.  These days, the media just fuels that fire by taking issues that a small subset of the population is facing and blasts it on all channels until we’re all nearly convinced those events are happening in our own backyard.  In this episode, we run through all sorts of hot topics including gender, police brutality, fat versus sugar intake, school closings during the pandemic, incarceration rates of Blacks, politically fueled news stations, and more. It’s no wonder there’s general distrust in the information we’re getting, no matter the source!

Mixed Messages

How should we actually react to everything that is going on in the world and the always-changing events; COVID vaccinations, anti-bullying, everyone wins, gender pronouns, and whatever else is to come? Perhaps we should accept that everyone will have an opinion on each of these issues. While remaining respectable adults, we need to have talks in addition to understanding what others think and grasp what’s going on.  How can we know if the vaccine information we’ve gathered is accurate? Sometimes the media and big voices out there distort the facts by combining them with their own opinions and political views. The most important way we can make progress now is to listen intently to both sides, and, without being defensive, talk through these difficult discussions. That's the only way we're going to reduce the polarization.

Mandates and Respect

Life takes you through a constant roller coaster ride full of beginnings and endings, but it’s how well you navigate the space in between those events that counts. In this episode, we both share about a transition we’re experiencing and that neither of us are really sure what to do with this time, whether or not to make a definitive move, or what that move would even be. Al’s chat with a coach recently helped him discover a book called Transitions, by William Bridges that he's now read through twice because it’s so full of helpful ideas and angles. It’s time we both just take a step back and not rush to begin or end anything, but rather sit in the weird, uncomfortable space that is transition and really feel, discover, and explore what was, what could be, and what we want. Thank you so much for listening - it’s been quite the journey! Read more at www.unlearningproject.org and follow along on Insta @unlearning_project

Transitions

It’s generally perceived as being untrustworthy if you make contradictory statements or choices. But maybe you learned new information that allowed you to perceive choices and their expected results differently, causing you to change your mind and do something differently than originally expected. The media loves to find contradictory statements and drive a celebrity’s image downward, for example. But, we offer the possibility that someone who contradicts themselves often might be more trustworthy than one who digs their heels in even when presented with new information. Growth, fresh perspective, and continuous learning is praised, but it might make you contradict yourself.  Read more at www.unlearningproject.org and follow along on Instagram @unlearning_project (www.instagram.com/unlearning_project/)

Walking Contradiction

Show up, do what you can, and even though you don't know how things will turn out, even when it looks like it’s not working or when it feels like it’s not worth the effort, just keep going. 90% of the battle is just showing up everyday. Within every journey exists moments where we question ourselves, our choices, our effort, and it’s okay not to know what will happen next and commit to enjoying the process anyway. It’s in the process where we grow and learn the most about ourselves. On the flip side, how do we know when we’re on the right path, putting all our effort in the right direction, or in a cul-de-sac, where no matter what we won’t get anywhere?   Read more at www.unlearningproject.org and follow along on www.instagram.com/unlearning_project

Trust The Process

Your thoughts are not true, they are simply fleeting assumptions, memories, images, and ideas, that create your own internal experience. Thoughts have the power to help you enjoy every nuance of the moment or the power to take you away completely, as if you weren’t even present. What thoughts are you believing as true? Which thoughts are you taking action on as if they were facts? Time to examine where those thoughts came from, if you’ll allow them to stay, and what you might replace them with if not.  Read more at www.unlearningproject.org and follow along on Insta @unlearning_project

Don't Believe What You Think

Your ability to see something in a new way or from a new perspective that allows you to reframe a problem as an opportunity or a weakness as a strength is a transformative process toward experiencing life with a more optimistic, open mind. We all carry beliefs and biases with us, but when we recognize all or nothing thinking, repeated patterns, and assumptions, we can examine the feelings those thoughts are producing, and intentionally rephrase those thoughts toward a positive possible outcome. Incorporating flexibility, curiosity, and knowledge that your thoughts are not facts may have a surprising impact on your attitude, the language used to and about yourself, and your behaviors as a result.    Read more at www.unlearningproject.org and follow along on Instagram @unlearning_project

Art Of Reframing

We all have inherent biases that impact how we gather information, what we believe, how we interpret and recall information, and even what we expect based on circumstance. Confirmation bias is why we seek to find information that supports the ideals we already carry and why we reject any information that challenges our perspective. We carry possible biased memory, biased interpretation, and are likely to be performing biased searches for information without even realizing it. What are your biases & why do you think you still carry them? Read more at www.unlearningproject.org and follow along on Insta @unlearning_project

Confirmation Bias

There’s much talk about being present in the moment, but not much out there telling us how to do so when we’re experiencing internal feelings of stress, anxiety, the need to do something or be somewhere, or feeling stressed for any reason. Psychological flexibility is one’s ability to cope by changing their perspective or behavior to align with a set of chosen values, even when it’s hardest. We both share examples and challenges in our own lives representative of an attempt at psychological flexibility. By the way, have you set personal values? Listen up! Read more at www.unlearningproject.org and follow along on Insta @unlearning_project

Psychological Flexibility

Getting curious about our feelings, reactions, and expectations is tough, but it’s a great way to dive into understanding which emotions we’re having in response to a stimulus and why. You may have heard about changing your language to say you’re feeling a certain way right now instead of identifying as that type of person. Curiosity is a great way to explore those emotions and release anxiety and fear around the unknowns, our reactions, and our stressors. When we’re leading with judgment, there’s tension, not only in our argument but in our physical body too. Read more at www.unlearningproject.org and follow along on Insta @unlearning_project

Judgment To Curiosity

Welcome to the first episode of Unlearning Project, rebranded from Confessions of A Financial Advisor since we only occasionally talked about money. Al prefers talking about social dilemmas, psychological studies, mental and emotional health, and current issues we face as a society. The Trolly Problem, also known to psychologists as Bystander At The Switch presents the reader with a choice, to divert the train to save four lives but sacrifice one life in two different scenarios.    Today we compare this theoretical situation to the way the US has handled Covid-19. Al aims to dig into all sides of the restrictions - masks versus no masks, fully open businesses versus capacity guidelines, and social distancing versus “back to normal.” We discuss why herd immunity won’t work with Covid-19, the underlying mental and emotional effects of being under Pandemic restrictions for this long, and ponder the benefits of a totalitarian versus a democratic society when it comes to wide-spread health & safety issues.    For more on the Unlearning Project & Al, check out www.unlearningproject.org and follow the show on Instagram at www.instagram.com/unlearning_project   For more information on Covid-19, herd immunity, and lockdowns visit: https://www.who.int/news-room/q-a-detail/herd-immunity-lockdowns-and-covid-19 https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html  

The Trolley Problem

Creating Confessions of A Financial Advisor fulfilled a long-time desire to expose the truths about the Financial Advisory industry. However, I’ve discovered my interests lie in issues around our beliefs, biases, behaviors, and fears. So, Confessions of A Financial Advisor is getting a makeover. You'll enjoy the same type of content you've loved most on the show, but the cover art, colors, content, and social channels are all being moved to the Unlearning Project. Stay tuned - the first new episode for www.unlearningproject.org will air right here with a new look on November 30th, 2020. Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com

Rebranding to Unlearning Project

My entire day is a matter of nervous system management. I naturally become more tense as the workday progresses, and if I don’t notice it and take specific actions to counteract the building stress, my fight or flight tendencies are in full swing. The nervous system shuts off the ability to think logically and clearly in a stressful situation, but we know little about how it works. The more steps we take to get outdoors, stretch, reduce unnecessary input, and take care of our nutrition and health, the more likely we will be able to keep our nervous system at bay. Original Music by Spybaby at www.spybabyband.com Subscribe at www.faconfessions.com

The Nervous System

In opposition to the high-adrenaline, overinflated, giant goal-setting numbers train, this show will focus on the deep introspective work about our beliefs, the stories we tell ourselves, and where those thoughts came from. 90% of our work toward financial success and overall happiness should be around beneficial habits & behaviors, setting boundaries, questioning commonly held beliefs, and strengthening our mindset in preparation for stressful situations. No use in having a carefully crafted strategy for your numbers if, on an impulse, one bad decision erases all effort toward your financial goals. Let’s turn up the self-awareness, learn about how emotions affect our money, and get ahead of the inevitable bumps in the road. All the other financial shows are about checklists, tactics, hacks, and strategies to reach Financial Independence when that should only be 10% of the conversation. So, it’s time to call out the other FI “experts” and financial pundits, because it’s the emotional aspect of human behavior that creates results… good or bad.

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Confessions Of A Financial Advisor

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