Trump's statement on Colin Powell's death is one for the ages. Southwest caved to anti-vaxx workers. The dirtbag lawyer of George Zimmerman was charged with lying about crap in court. The evidence against Matt Gaetz proved even more ominous as we learned the investigation is moving in unexpected directions that could be more widespread than child sex trafficking. SCOTUS opted to not block a Maine vaccine mandate. A federal grand jury indicted a Nebraska GOP lawmaker. A Trumpkin loon recommended self inoculation instead of vaccines without realizing they're the same thing. "Dr." Stella Immanuel, one of the right's leading anti-vaccine "experts," caterwauled crazy "demon semen" disinformation about the pandemic. A load from The Republic of Texas threatened a doc from Maryland for her COVID-19 activism. Conserv-a-wanker Madison Cawthorn urged young moms to raise their young boys to be monsters. Sadly, SCOTUS again empowered qualified immunity.  

CrabDiving Radio Podcast

CrabDiving – Tue 101921 – Trump’s Statement On Colin Powell’s Death Is One For The Ages

Christopher Steele thinks the Trump pee tape probably exists. Too many Democrats announced possible retirements. Shitler's stupid website was hacked by Turkish hacktivists. The fascists over at Sinclair Broadcasting were also hacked. Nazi-curious Tucker Carlson blathered idiotic drivel about Secretary Buttigieg's paternity leave. Man-baby has been trying to sue a House investigation panel rather than turn over requested documents related to the insurrection. Many wankers have been busted attempting to smuggle guns onto planes. Antisemitic over-valued bag of rat poo Mel Gibson will be in a television show about the origins of John Wick. Conservative Q-loon Marjorie Taylor Greene tweeted a panicked plea to her constituents urging them to vote despite a contrary message from 45. Putrid human Ted Cruz had his Republican starfish handed to him by Aussie Michael Gunner after comparing Texas to down under. Former GOP senatorial candidate Lauren Witzke is now an executive producer for "The Stew Peters Show" and assures her fellow panelists on "No White Guilt" that Peters and his audience share their concerns. Right-wing skeet storm Bill Mitchell is leaving Gab after realizing that it is a cesspool of bigotry and antisemitism. Former Secretary of State Colin Powell died from COVID complications.  

CrabDiving – Mon 101821 – Christopher Steele Thinks The Trump Pee Tape Probably Exists

Between squeals about his big lie, Trump spontaneously opined about golden showers. A UK MP was stabbed multiple times during a meeting with his constituency. Officer Michael Riley of the Capitol Police was charged with obstruction after messaging a rioter from the January 6th insurrection and encouraging the traitor to destroy evidence. A Texas school system told teachers to teach opposing views of the Holocaust. Christo-twunt Jim Bakker blathered something about fellow prophets getting shot by enemies of Christianity. The Czar of Missouri vowed to criminally prosecute a journalist who found a major security flaw in the state's website. Right-wing crackpot Lauren Witzke, the GOP's Delaware senatorial candidate in 2020, appeared on a show called "No White Guilt." The a-hole known as "Hacker X" described the enormity of a pro-Trump misinformation empire he helmed. A Pastor got his ninth DUI as well as an attempted murder charge after ramming a police car. Evangelical Sith Lord Greg Locke explained how the origins of Halloween involve virgin girls being raped by demons.  

CrabDiving – Fri 101521 – Between Squeals About His Big Lie Trump Spontaneously Opined About Golden Showers

90 Year-Old William Shatner Got To Chew The Scenery In Space. A major Hollywood union is about to strike. A judge dismissed  a request for an inspection of Fulton County ballots. Speaking of Georgie, Q crank Marjorie Taylor Greene called  for an election audit of the Peach State. Fascist wanker Madison Cawthorm is complaining Veterans who are also members of militias are being marginalized. Gym Bag Jordan could be the new Speaker if people vote poorly in 2022. The Rolling Stones dropped a song written in the early 70s because of questionable racist lyrics. A Florida school board member has been terrorized by mask-holes. Former baller and GOP Georgia Senate candidate Herschel Walker severed ties with a political fundraiser who boasts Nazi flare on her Twitter profile. West Virginia will pay you $12,000 to live there for 2 years.  

CrabDiving – Wed 101321 – 90 Year-Old William Shatner Got To Chew The Scenery In Space

Manchin and Sinema are preventing the country from getting a lot of nice things. Mark Taylor the fireman "prophet" complained his prophecies are getting jacked. A Michigan GOP legislator wore a “Q” pin at an election audit rally. The hate group Proud Boys are terrorizing school board meetings in North Carolina. Body cam footage showed cops gleefully hunting protesters at a George Floyd rally in Minneapolis. The Las Vegas Raiders coach was canned for using different varieties of hate speech in work emails. A St. Paul man was cleared of charges for firing on murderous fascist cops. Celeb rocker Ozzy Osbourne claimed Satan has protected him from the coronavirus.

CrabDiving – Tue 101221 – Manchin and Sinema Are Preventing The Country From Getting A Lot of Nice Things

Trump and his sedition buddies are trying to avoid testifying to Congress. After Ireland said, "Yes," a new global tax agreement was reached and big evil corporations are sweating. Seattle PD braced for a mass-firing of officers for not meeting a vaccination deadline. Christo-loon college professor Michele Bachmann said we are currently living through the worst ever. Disgraced former NSA Michael Flynn had to convince Q-freaks that he's not a Satanist. The Feds won’t seek charges against the cop in Jacob Blake shooting. Shitler said most Haitian immigrants have AIDS. The Lieutenant Governor of North Carolina said guns were a gift from God. Moans of MAGATS begging for mercy have been dominating plea hearings of insurrectionists. Trumpists have flocked to the horrific Freedom Festival which outwardly promotes fascism according to a former gun manufacturing exec.  

CrabDiving – Fri 100821 – Trump and His Sedition Buddies Are Trying To Avoid Testifying To Congress

The loony GOP Idaho Lt. Governor issued crazy executive orders while the governor was in Texas. Cocaine Mitch McConnell agreed to temporarily extend the debt ceiling. Trump is reportedly miffed at “Turtle Head” for caving to the Dems. The unvaccinated will be denied organ transplants. Christo-wanker Jim Bakker begged his flock for cash to the pay bills at his studio. NASA is practicing asteroid deflection. Republ-a-load Nikki Haley hinted at a run for POTUS in 2024. A big, evil pharma company jacked up the cost of a coronavirus treatment drug to price gouging levels. Matt Gaetz answered softball questions about sex trafficking allegations on local Florida TV. A confused GOP Kansas State Senator blathered something about not trusting data or scientific studies, but wanting evidence.

CrabDiving – Wed 100621 – Loony GOP Idaho Lt. Governor Issued Crazy Executive Orders While The Governor Was In Texas

Crappy businessman Trump fell off the Forbes 400 wealthiest list. California declared a state of emergency because of a massive oil spill. Australia announced a ban on foreign tourists until at least 2022 due to the pandemic. Former Apprentice star and ex-Trump staffer Omarosa Manigault said Trump might not be healthy enough for a presidential run. In Europe a Q-inspired kidnapping over coronavirus treatment went down. The government is poised to pull the trigger on a trillion-dollar coin to preserve the debt ceiling. Insurrectionists who attacked the Capitol on January 6th may have been tipped off about a handful of unreinforced windows. Pop icon Justin Bieber announced a foray into the corporate weed biz.  Body cams show Minneapolis cops hunting down civilians during the George Floyd protests. A suspicious van occupied by a radicalized Trump-a-lo was parked outside the Supreme Court. MAGAT-troll Lt. Governor Mark Robinson blathered some mouth-garbage about a one-devil devouring your mind. Conserv-a-load Tony Spell and wanker Alex Jones agreed the U.N. has control over the weather and the devil is hell-bent on depopulating the Earth.

CrabDiving – Tue 100521 – Crappy Businessman Trump Fell Off The Forbes 400 Wealthiest List

The world lost its mind as Facebook and Instagram went down. The Zuck lost 7 billion in 7 hours. The Pandora Papers revealed world leaders like Putin have stashed tons of untaxed cash. IATSE voted to strike. SNL nailed the anti-mask kooks invading school board meetings. Lindsey's MAGAT constituents gave the Senator an ear-full when he suggested they should get vaccinated. The Crabs learned their home state Florida is one of the deadliest in the union for animal attacks. Chipmunks have been spreading the plague in Lake Tahoe. A surfer in Cali was slowly but severely mauled while catching waves in shark-infested waters. A gaggle of aggressive otters attacked humans and pets in Alaska. Shitler's NDAs were total crap and people have started singing. Blotch Nazi Bannon warned of a government coup involving shock troop tactics. A new brain implant can stave off depression by stimulating stuff in the skull.

CrabDiving – Mon 100421 – The World Lost Its Mind As Facebook and Instagram Went Down

Conspiracy performance artist Alex Jones lost three Sandy Hook lawsuits. There’s an effective COVID pill available. SCOTUS won’t hear a challenge to the New York public schools’ vaccine mandate. California said they’re making students get the jab. My Pillow ads have returned to Faux News. Most Trumpkins wanna leave the union. The Mayor of Anchorage drew an insane comparison between vaccine mandates and the Holocaust, to explain why someone passed out yellow stars to be pinned to sleeves of idiots refusing the shot. Demon evangelical fossil Pat Robertson stepped down from the 700 Club. Stew Peters might not be a fan of our work after he attacked our lack of "testicular fortitude" and called us "pussies" on a recent show.  

CrabDiving – Fri 100121 – Conspiracy Performance Artist Alex Jones Lost Three Sandy Hook Lawsuits

Manchin and Sinema put big-money donors ahead of their constituents. Pelosi maneuvered the infrastructure budget legislation forward. YouTube said it would finally ban anti-vaccine propaganda content. United Airlines prepared to fire employees who refused the jab. Insurrectionist Congressperson Marjorie Taylor Greene said forced-birth should be enforced because motherhood "makes women better people." According to Stephanie Grishman Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson put his far-right fascist Christian nationalism unapologetically on display at some weird evangelical conference. The fascist Governor of South Dakota might be in hot water for allegedly pulling strings so her daughter could get her real estate appraiser license. A white supremacist was sentenced to prison on firearms charges. Dirtbag Mordor-forged Trump demon Corey Lewandowski was accused of making unwanted sexual advances at a charity event.  

CrabDiving – Wed 092921 – Manchin and Sinema Put Big Money Donors Ahead of Their Constituents

Progressives are tired of Democratic leaders playing nice and feel betrayed because Pelosi pushed back Bidens infrastructure legislation. A Federal Reserve official was busted doing a dirty stock trade and decided to resign rather than endure an investigation, which he claimed would be a "distraction for the country."  Cocaine Mitch McConnell blocked legislation that would have raised the debt ceiling. GOP wanker Rep. Madison Cawthorne blathered he was on a mission against the evil in DC. Stew Peters said he will shoot anyone that comes to his door and tries to vaccinate him or his family. The service industry has been fighting back against angry Kens and Karens. Former Trump Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham wrote a tell-all that includes crap about Shitler unknown to Melania. Massachusetts thugs-in-blue threatened to walk if they’re mandated to get vaxxed, but only one has so far. General Milley handed Tom Cotton his starfish in a senatorial hearing. Ron DeathSantis is favored over Trump in 2024. The Crabs played clips parents behaving badly at school board meetings.

CrabDiving – Tue 092821 – Progressives Are Tired of Democratic Leaders Playing Nice

R. Kelly was convicted and hopefully Matt Gates is next. Mike Pompeo considered kidnapping and then assassinating Julian Assange. Morgues in Idaho are chockablock full of Covid victims. Actor William Shatner is going to space. The Crabs covered elections in Germany. An anti-woman load in Texas defended the abortion ban and then said some weird crap about rape. Right-wing nut job a-hole Josh Bernstein has been suffering from Covid and it’s kind of sad but funny as well. Former national security advisor and traitor Mike Flynn shared an extra crazy anti-masker post. The Crabs reviewed the Karen video at a dog park. There is a horrific rash of snake attacks in India and oddly enough people are super concerned about rescuing the snakes. Infowar’s Alex Jones covered the plight of a loony Australian activist inciting riots against coronavirus restrictions. Also, the guy that shot Reagan back in the day is being released.  

CrabDiving – Mon 092721 – R Kelly Was Convicted And Matt Gaetz Is Hopefully Next

Crazy Trump seditionists had a six point plan to steal the election. Mary Trump called Shitler a phucking loser for threatening to sue for her tax returns. COVID-19 deaths have been surging notionally. Anti-VAX or hordes have clashed with the cops in Australia. There’s a bunch of new Covid variants that totally suck. A The county health director who is nearly ran over by a crazy anti-mask-er. A person working at a vaccination site was kicked in the ribs by a coronavirus denier. Biden referred to Trump as an a hole when he discovered the former presidents giant video golf monstrosity in the Oval Office. Bloch Nazi Steve Bannon said some creepy insurrectionist crap about January 6th. Scientists have discovered how to put vaccines in salads and it’s scaring the MAGATS.

CrabDiving – Wed 092221 – Crazy Trump Seditionists Had A Six-Point Plan To Steal The Election

Theocrats will take up a Mississippi law that may overturn Roe v Wade. The world's wealthiest families made fat cash during the pandemic. Beto announced he's running for governor. The lawyer for Alan Weisselberg said he thinks more indictments are coming. Antisemitic bag of redneck goo Marjorie Taylor Greene called for articles of impeachment against Biden blathering something about how God can't protect him anymore. In Texas, Border Patrol thugs have been whipping undocumented people. The campaign of diddler Congressperson Matt Gaetz donated $100,000 to help defend Shitler against impeachment part duex. A kangaroo Catholic court handed a laughably weak sentence to a serial rapist and abuser of children because it's a day ending in "y." An angry army of Karen-moms got super peeved over a TV ad for a razor used upon nether regions. An Oregon teacher, attempting to make an ignorant point about coronavirus restrictions, was suspended for showing up to teach in blackface.  

CrabDiving – Mon 092021 – GOP SCOTUS Theocrats Will Take Up A Mississippi Law That May Overturn Roe v Wade

CrabDiving are comedian/actor/writer Ryan Pfeiffer, and actor/writer Patrick Viall, who live and work in Florida. On their daily, progressive, internet radio show, they laugh and cuss about politics, news, pop culture, religion and more.

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CrabDiving Radio Podcast

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