Are you looking for your moment? I am really honored that we have in the studio today, Max Lucado. I shared with him early on that I only have people on the show, whose work, or life, or what they share has deeply impacted my life. Max Lucado is from Texas. He is an author, father, grandfather, husband, and minister. Max tells us about how he got started in the church and Max acknowledges his struggles and what he overcame when he pivoted towards the Lord and reflecting on what he cherishes now are some of things that he overlooked when he was younger. We talk about one of the only books I have ever read by him, a children's book about Punchinello called You Are Special and besides his newest book release, You Were Made For This Moment: Courage for Today and Hope for Tomorrow. This story comes from the book of Esther from the bible and talks about experiences of overcoming challenges. Max also gives us examples of different Mordecai moments. I share with Max how Punchinello has deeply, deeply impacted my life, even for a little children's book. The concept that our Maker, what he says and what he thinks about us is what sticks. It is a very powerful message. It goes to show us how the story impacts us in a deep way. Max shares the story behind the creation of Punchinello and we dive into how something that can come from an assignment instead of inspiration and shows that God blesses those who keep their promise. We talk about showing up and how God uses that moment of showing up, even when you don’t recognize it. That you never know when your moment will make a difference and if you are looking for encouragement, this is a great book to check out.   In This Episode [00:37] - Welcome to The Crystal Paine Show today we have in the studio is Max Lucado. [01:01] - I am probably one of the few people in all the world that has only read one and the one that I read was a children’s book.   [04:54] - Everyone listening, how God can use those things that he is calling you to do even though it might feel like, “I got to get this done because this is an assignment” but you never know how he is going to use that for His Glory. [05:10] - I’d love for you, for the few people who maybe don’t know the whole host of things you have done and who you are, just introduce yourself to us. [07:15] - You met the Lord and then you kind of immediately signed up to be a missionary, talk to us about that. [09:24] - And then when you were in Brazil, is when you started writing, how did that come to be? [12:19] - How can a good God be allowing all the things that have happened in the world in the last 18 months, talk to us about that. [15:14] - What is it about the Esther story that you see that is going to infuse people with hope? [16:13] - It reveals to us truly the, also kinda the quiet providence of God, because it’s famous for being one of the two books in the bible where the name of God does not appear and yet the fingerprints of God are on every paragraph. [19:03] - The story is not really positive about them in the beginning because they don’t, they have blended into the culture. They are so Persian in identity, in language, in dress, in style, and culture that he can work for the king and she can sleep with the king and they never - no one knows they are Jewish. [22:20] - What does that look like practically, for people who they’re saying “I want to do something with my life, I feel like there’s more than just what I am living for right now but I don’t even know how to take the first step. [26:07] - But they are scared; it’s hard; what encouragement would you have for someone who is feeling that way?   Links & ResourcesCrystal Paine Max Lucado   Books You Are Special (Punchinello) by Max LucadoYou Were Made For This Moment: Courage for Today and Hope for Tomorrow by Max Lucado Social Media Crystal Paine on Instagram Crystal Paine on Twitter Crystal Paine on Goodreads   Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group crystal@moneysavingmom.com   Max Lucado on Facebook Max Lucado on Instagram Max Lucado on Twitter   The Max Lucado Encouraging Word Podcast

Crystal Paine Show

144. You Were Made for This Moment (with Max Lucado)

Ready to catch up on what has been happening in our lives? We have so much to share with you and a lot has happened in the last few weeks. We’d had so many different guests, meaning Jesse and I have not had a chance to have a conversation so we have a lot of updates. Our biggest update is the toilet situation. Jesse and I recap what happened with our toilet and now we have a new toilet. We banter about our ages a few times. I had my first in-person speaker event after two years of being online, which had some obstacles but God was so faithful and lots of people were praying for me and it was really amazing. Did you know that potato chips help your throat when you lose your voice? Me either. I had an accidental exposure to an allergy but everything turned out well. Jesse and I talk about what we have been reading, or in my case not reading.  I don’t know what you call: book-whiplash or something because I keep starting books and then not finishing them. We also talk about a few different kinds of apps to use for listening to books.  Our main topic for today is, love languages. Jesse and I picked up a Date Night in a Box to reconnect and have some quality time together. This particle box was about love languages. They provide a quiz for each person to fill out and it is really great for conversations in and about your relationship.   It can be a refresher for you and your partner and what made it really great, is that it provided practical ways to apply each love language. You always need to keep the spark going in your relationship, it is never ending and ever evolving but you must put the work into, otherwise you may lose that connection.   In This Episode [00:34] - Welcome to The Crystal Paine Show. [03:26] - We have discovered the price tag of toilets. [04:41] - I got a really special birthday gift. [05:37] - I went to Chino, California and spoke at the Fresh Ground of Faith event. [08:01] - It was my first night in over 18 months that I didn’t have a baby in the room. [08:40] - I am speaking at the same type of conference, Fresh Ground of Faith with Jennifer Rothchild   [09:10] - Also, I got to do axe throwing. Which I had never done before. [10:26] - Jesse do you have any updates for us, on anything, any books you are reading or listening too? [13:30] - I do have something that is saving my life. [14:27] - Okay so we are going to talk about love languages today. [16:10] - This was a hard quiz because it wasn’t multiple choice, it was two options. And you chose which one you related to more. [17:26] - ‘Cause I think it’s so easy for us to assume that other people feel loved in the same way we do. [18:41] - So your (Jesse) love language, is the ones you relate to the most are physical touch and gifts. [19:18] - For me it is acts of service and words of affirmation. [21:59] - I think that for sure what has changed is your (Jesse) understanding of how to show me love. [23:18] - I think it is really really important, if you are in a relationship; a close relationship with someone that you understand their love language. [24:41] - Well and each of those areas is a way of connection and what you want to make sure is that you have a really good connection established. [25:18] - It’s like lighting a match, it’s just like igniting a little spark.   Links & ResourcesCrystal Paine   Books Brad Taylor, author Brad Thor, author Programs/Events Fresh Ground of Faith Libby, free public library app   Social Media Crystal Paine on Instagram Crystal Paine on Twitter Crystal Paine on Goodreads   Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group crystal@moneysavingmom.com   Special Mentions Jennifer Rothchild Jack Carr, podcast Scribed, reading app Dove: Midnight Fudge Cookie 5 Love Languages Quiz Date Night in a Box

143. A Love Languages Quiz

Should you be napping? I resonate so deeply with today's topic and I brought my friend Katie Reid, who brings so much wisdom, experience, and encouragement to today’s discussion. Katie wrote the book, Made Like Martha: Good News for the Woman Who Gets Things Done, and we just want to speak to you if you are feeling overwhelmed with life, if you struggle with worry and like me, are a problem solver and a fixer and just struggle. There is nothing wrong with being a do-er but if you are looking on how to find the balance of being and going - resting in the lord but also being productive, today’s topic is for you. Katie Reid is an author, speaker, podcast host, and worship leader. Katie has been married for 20 years and has 5 kids. The girls are the bookends with the oldest being 17 and the youngest is a kindergarten and three boys in the middle. Katie is not bored Katie shares some insight on what worship and worrying look like to her. Worry was a default emotion for so long, for Katie. There are so many things to worry about, especially being moms but Katie explains that worry makes us promises and makes us feel like we are feeling productive. When really, the more we feed it the more it grows. We look at the differences between Mary and Martha and share some stories from the bible. Both Kaite and I are do-ers, we like to have plans and have things to do. We are planners,  problem solvers, and we like lists and checking things off the list. But as people with all these plans and things to do, this could be something that leads to a path of worrying. We discuss that sometimes as women, we struggle with rest. Katie tells us that we believe that if we rest everything will fall apart but we forgot that resting is a gift.   In This Episode [00:37] - Welcome to The Crystal Paine Show and for today’s topic I brought my friend Katie Reid. [01:33] - Katie I am so glad that you are here and for people who might not know who you are, if you’d just take a few minutes to introduce yourself. [03:22] - Where you're driven to the point of ,that it can be an unhealthy thing and I really feel like that's probably where this book, Made Like Martha, came out of. And some people may be saying, hold up, who is Martha. So let’s start there. [05:05] - Katie quotes Luke chapter 10 verse 41 and 42. [05:12] - Katie did not like this passage because she wanted the story to go differently. [07:37] - I read a quote from Made Like Martha. [07:51] - Talk to us about what it looks like to worship instead of worry, and why worship suffocates worry. [10:55] - Katie shares the phrase that God gave her, “We can starve worry, when we feast on worship”. [12:49] - Do you feel like there are a lot of times when we’re worrying and we just don’t even realize that we are worrying? [15:26] - For someone who is listening, who, the concept of worship they don’t even know where to start with that or what that even means or what that can practically look like. Can you just flush that out a little bit more? [17:33] - How have you let go of that burden and that weight of feeling like it's all on you, to carry everyone else and to make sure it all works out? [20:05] - We learn that “degalation is not weak, it's actually wise” from Katie. [22:04] - How do I know what to say yes to because I feel like I have way too many things that I need to say yes to? [26:36] -  Oftentimes when I will feel the most anxiety or that I’m just not being able to focus and be calm, it's just that I’m tired. [28:53] - Katie believes that generosity is “just God winks,”. [30:15] - In Katie's mindseye she sees Jesus sitting on a la-z-boy reading a newspaper and thinking “great he’s not helping me”. [32:31] - Of any of this that Katie has shared, resonates with you. You need to go get a copy of Made Like Martha: Good News for the Woman Who Gets Things Done. Links & ResourcesCrystal Paine Katie Reid   BooksMade Like Martha: Good News for the Woman Who Gets Things Done by Katie Reid   Social Media Crystal Paine on Instagram Crystal Paine on Twitter Crystal Paine on Goodreads   Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group crystal@moneysavingmom.com   Katie Reid on Facebook Katie Reid on Instagram Katie Reid on LinkedIn Katie Reid on Pinterest Katie Reid on Twitter   Special Mentions Nicole (Niki) Homan Jennifer Dukes Lee Jami Amerine   Verses Luke 10:38-42, bible.com

142. Worship Suffocates Worry (with Katie Reid)

What are you doing to improve your life? We are going to dive into what it looks like to replace the gospel of self improvement with the gospel of life transforming grace and our special guest is Ruth Chou Simons. Everything that Ruth does has this aroma of beauty which is the opposite of me. Where I am a cut and dry minimalist. Ruth Chou Simons is a best selling author and founder of GraceLaced. She has been married to her husband Troy for 23 years and they have been involved in the local ministry most of their lives. Ruth and Troy have 6 sons, yes you heard correctly. Ruth is in multiple stages of parenting with her oldest being 19 and her youngest is 8. We talk about dating ourselves by being bloggers and on the internet since the beginning, and how Ruth’s blogging has evolved into more of a community effort and being more active on Instagram. GraceLaced started out as the name of Ruth’s blog and is now the name of her current business. We talk about why Grace matters and why it is the cornerstone of Ruth’s ministry, her life, her work, and why she talks about it all the time. Ruth and I discuss how she is currently walking out the message of her new book, When Strivings Cease: Replacing the Gospel of Self-Improvement with the Gospel of Life-Transforming Grace, as she's launching it. Ruth wants the readers to marinate with the message and to experience the journey with art. Ruth shares some personal stories and that she wants to reach women with beauty and truth. And to show that women out there are not alone when feeling vulnerable. You are not alone, and you are not meant to do this alone. You have to do the soul work to improve yourself and stop striving and start looking to Jesus and relying upon him and finding fullness of life in him.   In This Episode [00:42] - Welcome to The Crystal Paine Show and for today’s topic I have none other than Ruth Chou Simons. [01:23] - I just love what you bring to the world with the gifts that God has given you. [01:48] - For the few people who maybe aren’t totally familiar with you, I would love for you to introduce yourself to our audience. [03:21] - We are kinda the grandma bloggers, we have been on the internet for a long time.  [06:03] - And now When Strivings Cease, is your new book and this is your first trade book. [06:19] - The artwork that Ruth does isn’t meant to just be like, it’s not like clipart on the corners, it is that the art is symbolic of what you are reading. [06:51] -There are some drawings in there because Ruth wants us to linger long on each page. [07:50] - The effort of writing a book, that’s a lot but to then have this whole artistic journey. I have so much respect for you. [08:20] - Ruth states we were created to be image bearers.  [08:46] - What kind of inspired you to make this pivot from doing these beautiful full colorful devotionals to then a trade book? [10:51] - I read quotes from the beginning of When Strivings Cease. [11:39] - I feel like the “worn out, fearful, and anxiously striving” those are words that describe so many women. And I know I have been there, so many times. [12:42] - Ruth tells us that we are not alone, yes it is a red flag but it’s a red flag for all of us. We are wired to carry everything on our own. We’re wired to think that we’re the saviors of our own lives. [13:21] - The title of your book is When Strivings Cease and then the subtitle is Replacing the Gospel of Self-Improvement with the Gospel of Life-Transforming Grace. I would love for you to kinda unpack that for us a little bit, of what is the gospel of self-improvement? [14:24] - So the gospel of life-transforming grace, so tell us what that is? [15:48] - So how do we get from, the woman that’s listening and she’s saying “Oh, I'm just, I’m tired and I’ve been just trying so hard”. [18:43] - I read another statement from When Strivings Cease. [19:55] - Ruth shares a story that is her understanding of God. [22:14] - Ruth hopes the book helps you have like, a quick way to process this but I hope it drives you to the truth that’s been left for us in the word of God that tells us what God really desires, from you and for you and how he’s provided for that in Christ. [25:20] - How are you practically walking this out in your life? [28:41] - Would you be willing to kinda get vulnerable and talk about how you’re processing this in your own life? [31:50] - Ruth is saying, “hey friend, I’m still struggling too”. [33:11] - I think so many women can relate to that feeling of, “you know, God, I don’t have what it takes” -  I feel like that’s multiple times a day for me, and, and yet God is so faithful when we look to him.   Links & ResourcesCrystal Paine   BooksGraceLaced: Discovering Timeless Truths Through Seasons of the Heart by Ruth Chou Simons Beyonding and Beloving: The Art of Everyday Worship by Ruth Chou Simons Garden of Truth by Ruth Chou Simons Field of Joy by Ruth Chou Simons Foundations: 12 Biblical Truths to Shape a Family by Ruth Chou Simons & Troy Simonns When Strivings Cease: Replacing the Gospel of Self-Improvement with the Gospel of Life-Transforming Grace by Ruth Chou Simons   Social Media Crystal Paine on Instagram Crystal Paine on Twitter Crystal Paine on Goodreads   Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group crystal@moneysavingmom.com   Ruth Chou Simons GraceLaced Co.   Ruth Chou Simmons in Facebook Ruth Chou Simmons on Instagram GraceLaced on Instagram

141. Living a Grace-Filled Life in a Stress-Filled World (with Ruth Chou Simmons)

Do you feel like your prayers are being ignored? This is something that has been on our hearts to share and a story that God is currently writing for us. Of believing that for over a decade, our prayers were not being answered. But in hindsight, God was answering just not in the way we thought. We are saying that our prayers weren’t being answered because it was not a “yes”. But there are lots of other answers besides yes. God taught us so many lessons on faith, and resting in him, and contentment, and just opening our hearts to stepping into things that were scary and hard and took us way outside our comfort zone. Want a glimpse into what has been happening in our lives recently? Jesse had a birthday. We talk about our difference in age and how we celebrated Jesse’s birthday. We discuss some of the books we have recently been reading and what we look for in good books. Jesse talks about the books he has finished, one non-fiction and one fiction. I talk about a fiction author that was recommended to me and the last book I just finished. Word to the wise, don’t do things one-handed if you are trying to fix a toilet. We chat about everyday items that are positively affecting our family. The flex seal glue that Jesse had to purchase to fix the toilet mishap. How the invention of the two way zipper onesie is helping keep baby D’s g-tube safe. This is real life. I reflect on our last ten years and during all that time, it felt like our prayers weren't being answered and asking God why. I close out the podcast, giving words to encourage others who may be struggling, who may not fully recognize that God is answering you, it just might not be with a yes.   In This Episode   [00:37] - Welcome to The Crystal Paine Show. today’s topic is When your prayers aren’t answered [01:13] - Jesse just talked a little bit, um, can anyone tell a difference in his voice? Does he sound a little bit more mature? A little bit older? [02:44] - I just discovered, in the last month, that teens love cake. [04:10] - Jesse is older, that is the big news to report & also, you also finished more than one book. [06:01] - Tell us about The President’s Daughter book. [07:08] - I finished a book by Charles Martin. I have been listening to a lot of his books recently. At the beginning of the year, I asked on my blog, Money Saving Mom.com, for book recommendations especially for fiction. [08:37] - This one that I just finished, it was A Life Intercepted.  [11:00] - Jesse you have something that’s saving your life? Actually, our whole families life. [13:09] - Growing up, I was the toilet fixer. [16:36] - Well what is saving my life this week, it has actually been saving my life for a very long time. [19:21] - Alright Jesse, I told you that I have an email that I have been very excited to read to you.  [21:15] -  So let’s talk about when your prayers aren’t answered. [23:14] - We wanted to have more kids and God wasn’t answering that prayer with yes. [24:28] - We can both look back over those ten years of waiting and just really see how God changed our hearts in big ways.  [25:55] - I wrote this on Instagram and I just wanna close with reading this and I just hope that it encourages someone today who needs this reminder.  [28:26] - I wrote this on Instagram that I also just want to read to you, just to encourage you that you never know what God is up to.    Links & ResourcesCrystal Paine   BooksWarrior Diplomat: A Green Beret’s Battles from Washington to Afghanistan by Mike Waltz The President's Daughter by James Patterson & Bill Clinton The President is Missing  by James Patterson & Bill Clinton A Life Intercepted: A Novel by Charles Martin   Definitions Allegory (allegorical), Literary Terms G-tube (gastrostomy tube), Kids Health Programs/Events Libby, free public library app   Social Media Crystal Paine on Instagram Crystal Paine on Twitter Crystal Paine on Goodreads   Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group crystal@moneysavingmom.com   Special Mentions 52 Book I Plan to Read in 2021, blog post Photo, Instagram Video, Instagram

140. When Your Prayers Aren't Answered Like You Hoped

Are you a fashionista? Do you love or hate clothes? I am thrilled to have Alison Lumbatis in the studio with us today to talk about her new book, The Ultimate Book of Outfit Formulas: A Stylish Solution to What Should I Wear?, and realizing how much of an impact she has had on my life. Especially when it comes to clothes. Imagine how your day and mood will be different, just by getting dressed. No matter how you feel in the morning and no matter if you are leaving your home or staying in, getting dressed is a type of selfcare. This one action has the power to change the outcome of how you feel and how you present yourself. Alison gives us the history on how she stopped getting dressed and she noticed her loss of motivation after working from home after six months. In hindsight, she recognized there were signs of depression by being in her yoga pants rut. One day she asked herself, “what is one tangle thing I can do to make myself feel better today?” Alison tells us the answer was easy, the first step was putting on real clothes. This not only made her feel better but it allowed her to also set an example. Alison explains to us that we only wear 20% of the clothes we have in our closets. She states that cleaning out your closet is an emotional process and that we are holding on to articles of the past. In order to effectively clean it out, we need to take everything out and go through each piece individually, in order to know what to put back in your closet. We ask the tough questions: does the thought of changing out of your yoga pants or throwing out your workout clothes sound difficult? Clothes shouldn’t take an emotional toll but allow you to be the best version of yourself. Getting dressed can change your emotions and energy levels, making you more motivated. It is as simple as getting dressed everyday. It doesn’t matter what time, whether it be 3pm or 5 pm. The mood boost from getting dressed is so simple, yet the outcome is so powerful. In This Episode [00:39] - Welcome Alison Lumbatis to The Crystal Paine Show [02:14] - I had never really worked hard to put together outfits because I had always kind of told myself I am not a fashionista. [03:35] - Sometimes I feel like people might think clothes aren’t that big of a deal but it is a big deal and makes a big difference. [04:10] - I have Alison tell us about herself and explain what she does. [04:33] - My goal is really to empower women to be able to shop on their own and to be able to see their closets in a different light. [05:03] - Number one, I didn’t have accountability for getting dressed in the morning anymore [06:51] - Blogging is a great creative outlet. [07:22] - I really just asked my readers and followers at that point, “what can I do for you that is going to make your life easier?” [08:09] - I inadvertently created a capsule wardrobe. [08:50] - No matter your style, you can make it work for you. [10:05] - I love how you just kind of gently encourage people to push outside their comfort zones. [10:58] - I read a favorite section from The Ultimate Book of Outfit Formulas: A Stylish Solution to What Should I Wear? [11:28] - “You don’t have to feel like doing something, in order to do it.” [11:48] - What could happen if you did put a little effort into it? [12:04] - I like to say, “get dressed with the day you want to have.” [13:58] -  We take the action and the feeling comes after. [15:33] - For the woman who is feeling, “I don’t even know where to start. Like I look at my closet and all there is, is yoga pants and sweatshirts and this feels daunting to me”, is there kind of one small step that you would encourage them to take. [17:40] - When you find that outfit formula, that uniform that works for your life.Take a picture of it. [19:56] -  I’d love for you to just kind of walk through, how do you go through your closet, for someone who feels overwhelmed with all the clothes they have, but yet feel like they don’t have anything to wear. [22:22] - I developed this acronym swap, “shop with a purpose”. [23:43] - One of the things I love about your book, The Ultimate Book of Outfit Formulas, is how practical it is and visual. [24:40] - I ask Alison to tell us more about her program and how you can get signed up. [27:45] - I love, also just the spirit of what you’re doing, and that it’s just encouraging women. [29:03] - Give feedback, but deliver it with love.   Links & ResourcesCrystal PaineAlison Lumbatis BooksThe Ultimate Book of Outfit Formulas: A Stylish Solution to What Should I Wear? By Alison Lumbatis Definitions Capsule Wardrobe; Cambridge Dictionary PodcastsThe Crystal Paine Show Episode 16 Social Media Crystal Paine on Instagram Crystal Paine on Twitter   Alison Lumbatis on Instagram Alison Lumbatis on LinkedIn Alison Lumbatis on Twitter   Outfit Formulas Get Your Pretty OnGetYourPrettyOn on Instagram   Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group crystal@moneysavingmom.com

139. Do This One Thing Every Morning (with Alison Lumbatis)

Are you struggling? I have been hearing from so many people who are tired, weary and are just done. And these same people just want to shut down. So today we are honored to have Lisa Whittle in the studio to talk about her new book, The Hard Good: Showing Up for God to Work in You When You Want to Shut Down. Lisa Whittle is here to share her wisdom, experiences, and on what God has taught her. Lisa explains how she views the difference between hard and good and why she wants to redefine these terms. It doesn’t end with just the hard, it ends with the good. Lisa speaks about so many of her experiences of hard times during this conversation. She talks about her father and how she shares his same habits and responses, which guided her in writing her new book. How faith is a key part of Lisa’s life, and she talks about how to work through the hard things but also how to walk through those hard times with God by her side. How she needs more than just believing in herself and in this world, and to hold on to that belief that there is more. We continue with our conversation, acknowledging that we all struggle and not everyone’s journey is the same. Even if some struggles may be universal, each person handles it differently. How to see and recognize the signs that are different for everyone and to pay attention. We speak to those out there who are struggling and give guidance, and steps to working through their difficult time, because we come from a place of understanding. That working through the hard is not perfect and it doesn't mean that you cant see the good in the hard. But most importantly that you can come out the other side.   In This Episode [00:39] - Welcome Lisa Whittle to The Crystal Paine Show [01:15] - So many people who don’t want to show up. [01:45] - I have Lisa introduce herself for our audience. [02:43] - Tell us where this book came from. [04:15] - I love, kind of, this conflict or tension just in the title of your book.  [05:15] - We don’t have to define hard. [08:06] - When you know what you believe and when your firm in your faith, I don’t think there should be anything, any conversation we’re afraid of [09:27] - How do you know that you’re shutting down? [12:20] -  How do we reverse course and not just get stuck in that rut of shutting down? [14:00] - “I am here.” [14:52] -  A lot of us are alive but we are not living. [16:53] - When we are really vulnerable with a friend, our relationship deepens because we’ve shared our hearts, and I think it is the same in our relationship with the Lord. [18:15] - I loved what you had to say about cheering for someone, when they get what you want. [18:30] - I read a passage from The Hard Good [20:49] - Women are amazing, we, we have the ability to be so for each other. [23:36] - She is not the opponent, jealousy is. [25:48] - I would just love for you to speak to that woman who is in the hard right now, and there is, and it doesn’t feel like there’s any good. What would you say to her? [28:00] - We need more than just believing in ourselves.   Links & ResourcesCrystal Paine Lisa Whittle BooksThe Hard Good: Showing Up for God to Work in You When You Want to Shut Down by Lisa Whittle   Social Media Crystal Paine on Instagram Crystal Paine on Twitter   Lisa Whittle Facebook Lisa Whittle Instagram Lisa Whitte Twitter   Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group crystal@moneysavingmom.com

138. How to Keep Going When Life is Hard (with Lisa Whittle)

Our topic today – our takes on courtship and dating - might be considered a bit controversial by some! You may recall an early episode of the podcast in which we talked about our own history involving this topic, and if you did hear that episode, then you may also remember that we have a pretty unique story of how Jesse and I ended up in a relationship together and how we had strict courtship rules set by our parents. We are going to dive into this in this episode and reveal how we plan to approach this with our own kids. We received a question from a listener recently asking us if we allow our older kids to date, which is what inspired us to do a podcast episode focused on this topic, and as Jesse puts it, we prefer to see ourselves as sources of guidance for our kids rather than as dictators, and with that being said, while we realize that this may come as a surprise to some of you, we actually do not have rules about dating. What we instead do is have conversations with our kids rather than lay down hard and fast rules. Children need to learn how to make good decisions for themselves, and as I discuss in my book Love-Centered Parenting, it's so important to love our kids in such a way that we are leaning into them and listening to them, doing our best to understand their emotions and their struggles. We should, after all, be raising kids so that they can become adults as opposed to perpetually dependent children. I hope that this episode was helpful for you in one way or another! Please reach out to me as I love hearing from you, and be sure to tune in next time!   In This Episode: [0:32] – Today's topic is courtship and dating! [2:20] – We learn what's saving Jesse's life this week. [5:42] – I reveal that we recently got a new stroller which has been saving my life lately! [8:28] – You can get the double stroller that we bought for a relatively low price on Amazon! [9:48] – Jesse just finished Black Ice by Brad Thor. [10:58] – I just finished re-reading Wonder by R.J. Palacio. [12:55] – I share an email and an iTunes review sent in by listeners. [15:40] – Jesse offers a funny tip about listening to podcasts at a certain speed. [17:32] – We dive into the main topic – courtship vs. dating. [19:58] – I argue that teenagers are more apt to listen if parents have conversations with them as opposed to just laying down rules. [22:45] – Teenagers, I point out, tend to live in the moment and not look to the future. [25:22] – I point out that each and every child is different and cannot be placed into molds. [27:40] – We have tried to perfect the art of stoicism as parents.   Links and Resources: Crystal Paine Crystal Paine on Instagram Crystal Paine on Twitter crystal@moneysavingmom.com Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group Love-Centered Parenting The Crystal Paine Show – Episode 5: Courtship Rules and Our First Kiss The Crystal Paine Show - Episode 129: My System for Keeping on Top of Emails The Crystal Paine Show - Episode 136: Don’t Miss Out on This Superpower! (with Jeannie Cunnion) Graco Ready2Grow LX 2.0 Double Stroller, Clark Brad Thor – Black Ice R.J. Palacio - Wonder

137. Dating vs. Courtship: Our honest thoughts

Longtime listeners or new listeners who have gone back and listened to our older episodes may recall one of our early episodes in which we had Jeannie Cunnion on the show as a special guest to talk about how to be a happier mom! Well, Jeannie is back again this week to discuss her new book and how it came to be and what it means to be in touch with and rely on the Holy Spirit! Jeannie makes so many great points during our conversation such as how the Holy Spirit is available in all of us but is not necessarily active in all of us. We can get in the way of the Holy Spirit and impede Him, so we must cooperate with Him and follow up on His nudges, even if it feels like we have to go outside of our comfort zones to do so. Jeannie refers to this as His conviction and offers insight as to what that word means to her, emphasizing that it's not as scary as it sounds. We also talk about how to go about determining whether or not a calling is truly coming from the Holy Spirit or if it's coming from our own agendas. I give an example from my own life about a time when that wasn't apparent, and Jeannie offers some advice on how to make that determination. She closes by explaining how she acknowledges the Holy Spirit's presence on a daily basis, insight that I hope that you will find helpful so that you, too, can do the same! I really hope that this episode inspires you to truly take a step back and ask yourself if you are pursuing your own agenda or if you are recognizing the Holy Spirit's presence and listening to Him. Please reach out to me as I love hearing from you, and be sure to tune in next time!   In This Episode: [0:33] – We have a special guest today – returning guest Jeannie Cunnion! [2:43] – Jeannie shares some background information about herself with us. [5:18] – Jeannie reflects on what it means to rely on the Holy Spirit. [8:24] – One of the Holy Spirit's roles in our lives, Jeannie asserts, is as a map and a compass. [10:48] – Jeannie compares the Holy Spirit to being a close friend. [12:41] – I reflect on when I realized that the Holy Spirit was in me. [15:23] – Jeannie gives an example from scripture of the Holy Spirit being at work. [16:34] – Jeannie explains the difference between the Holy Spirit being available and being active. [19:25] – Jeannie expounds upon the word conviction and what it means to her. [21:38] – Jeannie gives some insight regarding how to determine whether or not a calling is coming from the Holy Spirit. [24:20] – The Trinity, Jeannie argues, is community. [27:33] – We learn how Jeannie acknowledges the Holy Spirit's presence every day. [30:10] – I summarize what I hope listeners will take away from this episode.   Links and Resources: Crystal Paine Crystal Paine on Instagram Crystal Paine on Twitter crystal@moneysavingmom.com Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group Love-Centered Parenting The Crystal Paine Show – Episode 3: The Secret to Being a Happier Mom Jeannie Cunnion - Parenting the Wholehearted Child: Captivating Your Child’s Heart with God’s Extravagant Grace Jeannie Cunnion - Mom Set Free: Find Relief from the Pressure to Get It All Right Jeannie Cunnion – Don't Miss Out: Daring to Believe Life Is Better with the Holy Spirit  

136. Don't Miss Out on This Superpower! (with Jeannie Cunnion)

It has been a while since we have done this, but we are bringing it back – that is, answering your burning questions! We are a little bit all over the place today as we answer various questions sent in by you – our listeners. We discuss how Jesse felt after walking away from work, which of us handles the bills and budgeting, how arguing between us pretty much always indicates a deeper issue, and our personalities. We reflect on how our personalities and interests are different and similar and how we have learned to foster the similarities within what we do together. We also reveal what our dream vacation looks like and how having foster children has affected not only the children in our family but also our marriage. Like most things, it has had its ups and downs, but we feel blessed as we remind ourselves of our why. I really hope that learning a little bit more about us in this episode via this round of questions will be enjoyable to you! Please reach out to me as I love hearing from you, and be sure to tune in next week as we will have a very special guest!   In This Episode: [0:35] – We are answering your burning questions today! [1:29] – Jesse discusses whether or not it was difficult for him to walk away from work. [4:00] – I argue why someone in a marriage considering income my income can be dangerous to the marriage. [5:43] – Jesse reveals which one of us takes care of bills getting paid. [8:38] – Figuring out each spouse's strengths in a marriage is important. [9:08] – We reveal how we decide on budgeting and spending. [11:15] – I make the case that arguments – even silly arguments – usually point to something deeper going on. [14:38] – We talk about whether or not our personalities are more similar or opposite. [16:40] – We discuss our dream vacation. [18:57] – Jesse and I talk about how fostering can impact the children in a family. [21:20] – We reflect on how fostering has affected our marriage. [24:33] – We disclose what our greatest weakness is in our communication with each other.   Links and Resources: Crystal Paine Crystal Paine on Instagram Crystal Paine on Twitter crystal@moneysavingmom.com Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group Love-Centered Parenting Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith - Sacred Rest: Recover Your Life, Renew Your Energy, Restore Your Sanity

135. Answering your burning questions

You may have noticed that we haven't been around the last couple of weeks! One of those weeks was planned, but the other wasn't, and that's because we had a very upsetting but also unique experience with COVID-19, and we figured that we would spend our time in this episode sharing that experience with you. Our experience was probably different from most people's experience with COVID, mainly because we realized that we had had it several weeks ago without having realized it. Our daughter Kierstyn got very, very sick, probably sicker than any of our children have ever been. She had hives and a rash that were discolored and covered most of her body, and she was extremely itchy. She also had a pretty high fever of 104, and she was just miserable. We knew that something was very wrong, but not once did we suspect that she had COVID, especially since none of the rest of us were sick. Much to our surprise, however, she did, in fact, have COVID. Tune in to hear the details of our story and how we not only worried about Kierstyn and prayed for her recovery but also how the COVID diagnosis put a hitch in so many of our plans. As previously teased, we also reveal how Kirsten got COVID in the first place, and we share what the moral of the story is, to (a) get tested for COVID if you're feeling ill, even if you don't think that you have it, and (b) trust your instincts, and get second opinions. We're so grateful that God protected Kierstyn and that she has recovered, and we are grateful that we still got to go on a planned trip with my family recently. Do you have a unique COVID experience that you would like to share or just a similar experience in general? I would love to hear from you!   In This Episode: [0:35] – We explain why we took the last two weeks off. [2:00] – We also went on our annual trip recently with my extended family. [2:55] – I recently finished listening to The President Is Missing! [5:05] – Learn what I didn't like about The President Is Missing. [8:06] – Learn what has been saving my life lately! [10:30] – Hear a funny story about my recent trip to the dentist. [12:57] – I share some listener feedback. [15:36] – A listener thanks us for our recent episode about raising twins. [18:16] – We start sharing our recent story involving our experience with COVID-19. [20:45] – Learn about what happened a couple weeks ago on the weekend of a baseball tournament. [23:11] – We reveal what our daughter was initially diagnosed with. [26:06] – Our daughter's fever was 104, and medical personnel knew something was wrong. [28:48] – I reveal that our daughter tested positive for COVID. [31:26] – We had so much planned that the COVID diagnosis impacted. [34:09] – The new hospital where Kirsten was transferred didn't seem as concerned. [36:02] – We suspected soon after that we had already had COVID and hadn't realized it. [38:02] – Learn about how Jesse had the idea to get tested for antibodies to confirm that we had had COVID. [40:42] – Kierstyn recovered after a week or so. [41:42] – I reveal what the moral of the story is.   Links and Resources: Crystal Paine Crystal Paine on Instagram Crystal Paine on Twitter crystal@moneysavingmom.com Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group Love-Centered Parenting The Crystal Paine Show - Episode 133: Our Best Strategies for Raising “Twins” James Patterson & Bill Clinton - The President Is Missing Libby

134. Our Experience with Covid

Although we've never actually had twins – neither biologically nor via fostering – we do have two very little ones who are pretty close in age, so we thought that we would share some of our best advice and tips on either having twins or fostering twins! While it obviously doesn't come with a manual and the experience is different for everyone, we do think that there are a few basic tips that you can put into place to ease the experience a bit! Remember that it takes time (we say 4-6 weeks) to establish a comfortable rhythm and routine, so be patient, and give yourself (and those around you) a lot of grace. We also recommend finding creative ways of keeping track of things. Setting up different stations around your house (such as a feeding station and a diaper-changing station) and keeping track of when each baby is fed, sleeps, has their diaper changed, is administered medicine, and so forth are both excellent ways to help keep yourself organized and establish a routine! On a somewhat related note, we also share a story of a recent trip that we took to Colorado Springs and how we encountered some unexpected obstacles due to having two little ones, so yes, even traveling via plane is going to be different if you have twins! Having twins is a new and therefore scary experience at first, but we promise that you will get into a comfortable groove! It will get so much easier over time, and it will even become natural to you. If you yourself have experience raising twins, then feel free to reach out to me! Any suggestions, tips, or advice that we didn't cover here would be so appreciated! I would love to hear from you!   In This Episode: [0:35] – Today's topic is advice for having twins. [2:39] – We just got back from a quick trip to Colorado Springs! [4:00] – Learn why we couldn't sit together on the plane. [5:35] – Jesse shares what he learned from our recent trip. [7:50] – Discover why you should try to do your bathroom breaks on layovers. [10:04] – Jesse has a book update! [12:28] – I have been reading Faith to Foster by T.J. and Jenn Menn. [13:55] – I share some mail from readers! [16:13] – We answer a question sent in by a listener about why we don't book Airbnbs when we travel. [19:26] – We start talking about our best advice for having twins. [21:03] – Expect it to take at least a month to establish a comfortable rhythm. [23:11] – It was helpful for us to set up different stations around the house. [24:56] – I recommend keeping a log of when each baby eats, sleeps, has their diaper changed, has medicine, and so forth. [27:25] – Give yourself and others grace! [30:18] – You will eventually get into a groove. [31:04] – The most important thing for us is relying on God.   Links and Resources: Crystal Paine Crystal Paine on Twitter Crystal Paine on LinkedIn crystal@moneysavingmom.com Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group Love-Centered Parenting James Patterson & Bill Clinton - The President Is Missing James Patterson & Bill Clinton - The President’s Daughter T.J. Menn & Jenn Menn - Faith to Foster: An All-American Story of Loving the Least of These Hoopla - Website Libby Huckleberry: Baby & Child

133. Our Best Strategies for Raising "Twins"

We are switching things up and doing things just a little bit differently today, as we are pretty much focusing almost this entire episode on something that has been saving our lives recently – family breakfast! We first got the idea of doing family breakfasts several years ago because our kids had various activities going on in the evenings, so it was hard for us to eat dinners together. Since we still wanted to eat a meal together, we decided that it was easier to do it in the mornings! Family breakfast is something that we have really been committing to lately, and because good habits build good habits, it has been starting our days off on the right foot. We have found that our mornings have been more structured and organized, with a lot more getting done. It has also been so nice having that time together as a family at the very beginning of the day. It's worth noting, however, that when we first put family breakfast into place, we did so by calling a family meeting. Our plan was to ask our kids what they thought of the idea of family breakfast, but they beat us to the chase and suggested it before we did! We have found that family meetings can be a very helpful thing if there is a problem that needs to be addressed. It allows for open discussion and for different solutions to be offered, and it's definitely something that we suggest to you if you're finding that there is something that isn't working in your home. Is there anything creative like family breakfast that you do with your family? Do you have any tips or strategies of your own that you would like to share? How do you start your day off on the right foot? I would love to hear from you!   In This Episode: [0:33] – The topic of this entire episode is what has been saving our lives, namely family breakfast! [1:15] – I recently discovered how to easily get the pit out of an avocado! [3:50] – One of our kids got a job, so we now have two high schoolers who have jobs! [5:43] – I have been listening to The Warsaw Orphan by Kelly Rimmer. [7:38] – The Warsaw Orphan is the second book that I have listened to on Hoopla, which I have been using lately. [8:57] – I share my thoughts on how The Woman with the Blue Star ends. [11:40] – I share some listener mail. [14:35] – We love getting feedback from listeners! [15:10] - Today's sponsor is Annie's Kit Clubs! [17:48] – We dive into talking about family breakfast! [19:40] – We were going to suggest family meetings to our kids before putting them into place, but they had the same idea! [21:24] – Our mornings have been so much more productive and structured. [22:32] – Hear my advice on what you can do if there is something in your home that isn't working.   Links and Resources: Crystal Paine Crystal Paine on Instagram Crystal Paine on Twitter crystal@moneysavingmom.com Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group Love-Centered Parenting Kelly Rimmer – The Warsaw Orphan: A WWII Novel Kelly Rimmer – The Things We Cannot Say: A Novel Pam Jenoff – The Woman with the Blue Star: A Novel Hoopla - Website Libby Annie’s Kit Clubs - Website How to Remove Avocado Pits

132. Family Breakfasts: What We're Doing Instead of Family Dinners

Some of you may recall the podcast episode that we did last year during lockdown about some of our craziest travel stories. Well, we're coming back at you with another round of that, sharing another crazy vacation story! Buckle up because this one is really crazy! We pretty recently traveled to Wichita, Kansas and had to book a hotel in advance (something that we normally wouldn't do for various reasons). Jesse chose one hotel in particular for a couple of reasons – (1) he had visited the hotel before and was therefore somewhat familiar with it and (2) it was conveniently located near family that we were visiting. After I took a look online at the average ratings of the hotel which were relatively high, we decided to stay at this hotel, especially since brief looks at reviews promised amenities such as a pool and a hot breakfast in the morning. It was also very, very inexpensive! Well, I don't want to spoil the story here, so you're going to have to tune in and listen to hear the details, but let's just say that there was a very good reason that the hotel was priced so low. Listen in to find out how our hotel room was such a lemon that we ended up with a smashed window and how this was a learning experience for us that taught us various lessons such as why it's important when looking at hotels online to not only look at average ratings (which are based on years' worth of reviews) but to also actually read a good number of reviews, especially recent reviews. We also talk about how this experience taught us how quickly perspective on certain things can change. Do you have any crazy travel or vacation stories? Have you ever stayed in a disastrous hotel room, and if so, were you able to resolve the issue? What did the experience teach you? Reach out to me with your crazy travel stories! I would love to hear them!   In This Episode: [0:32] – We are bringing you another crazy vacation story! [1:16] – Jesse has just started using the Libby app! [4:12] – Jesse just recently finished reading Bill O'Reilly's Killing the SS. [6:15] – We marvel over what Killing the SS is about. [9:28] – I have been reading The Last Year of the War by Susan Meissner. [12:11] - You can change the settings in Gmail to delete emails (rather than archive them) when you swipe on them! [14:36] – I read aloud an email sent in by a listener. [15:55] – I share the story of having bought tofu recently and what I learned. [17:36] – Jesse follows up on his recent Jiu-Jitsu story. [20:04] – Jesse came home from sparring recently with bruises all over him! [21:49] – Today's sponsor is Annie's Kit Clubs! [23:56] – We dive into our latest crazy vacation story! [26:11] – I looked at the ratings of a particular hotel that Jesse picked out. [28:35] – I begin to reveal what happened when we pulled up to the hotel. [31:23] – Find out what happened on our first morning in the hotel! [34:14] – Jesse made the receptionist aware of what had happened in the room. [36:40] – We ultimately decided to check out and go to a different hotel.   Links and Resources: Crystal Paine Crystal Paine on Instagram Crystal Paine on Twitter crystal@moneysavingmom.com Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group Love-Centered Parenting The Crystal Paine Show - Episode 79: Our Craziest Travel Stories The Crystal Paine Show - Episode 129: My System for Keeping on Top of Emails Libby Bill O'Reilly & Martin Dugard – Killing the SS: The Hunt for the Worst War Criminals in History Susan Meissner – The Last Year of the War Annie’s Kit Clubs - Website  

131. A crazy travel story

So many of us have a tendency to proclaim negativity rather than positivity over our lives, and Jesse and I discuss in this episode why we should stop doing that and how. Having recently visited a friend who, along with her husband, is fostering children, I realized that our habit of proclaiming negativity over our lives is what I wanted to talk about in this episode. My friend was talking about how much she loves raising little ones but was concerned because of warnings that she has received from others to enjoy it while it lasts because she isn't going to be having as much fun when they are teenagers. Being a mother of teens myself, I authentically shared with her that I actually love raising teens! So many young mothers tend to dread the future – dread the day when their little ones become teenagers, and that's because of the pervasively negative perception surrounding what it's like to raise (a) teenager(s), as if it's a guaranteed given that it's going to be a terrible experience. Jesse and I talk about the importance of looking at things positively because our perceptions can sometimes shape our realities. Your experiences start at the beginning because you get what you expect! Your attitude will shape what kind of experience you have, and no matter how many difficulties that are present in our lives, there is always something for which to be grateful! Yes, some days of our children's teenage years will be difficult for both you and them. Yes, they will have emotional outbursts, but I encourage you to think back to your teenage years. Didn't you? Children and teenagers are sometimes dealing with very difficult situations that they aren't properly processing or sharing, so use things like emotional outbursts as opportunities to lean in to your children and listen to them. Use them as learning experiences for both you and them, and this applies to all aspects of and relationships in our lives! Pay attention to what you're thinking and what you're saying and acknowledge where you're allowing negativity to cloud your perception. Instead focusing on positivity will make a world of difference!   In This Episode: [0:32] – I have been posting one photo per hour to my Instagram page in order to document my day. [2:04] – I share that I participated in a radio interview recently. [4:26] – Jesse and I talk about why we don't do our podcast as a live video stream. [5:28] – Today's topic is about why you should proclaim positivity over your life. [6:54] – I refer back to an old episode of the podcast about courtship. [8:23] – What's saving my life this week is writing out lists for our kids. [10:07] – I explain what kinds of lists I wrote out in the past. [11:41] – Jesse reveals that he joined a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu gym. [14:47] – I have been listening to the audiobook The Orphan's Tale by Pam Jenoff. [17:24] – I talked last week about The Woman with the Blue Star, which is also by Pam Jenoff. [18:47] – Jesse has been playing a lot of sudoku lately. [20:19] – I elaborate upon where the idea to talk about no longer proclaiming negativity came from. [22:34] – So many young mothers fear their little ones becoming teens. [23:53] – You get what you expect out of life! [26:12] – The opportunity to see our children becoming adults is exciting and is a learning experience for everyone. [28:11] – One of our kids recently experienced an emotional outburst, and I share how I chose to respond to that. [30:12] – Parenting is about leaning in and loving your kids, as I discuss in my book. [31:19] – Start proclaiming positivity in your life!   Links and Resources: Crystal Paine Crystal Paine on Instagram Crystal Paine on Twitter crystal@moneysavingmom.com Money Saving Mom Money Saving Mom on Facebook Money Saving Mom Deal Seekers Facebook group Love-Centered Parenting FaithTalk Live with Rick & Dan with special guest Crystal Paine The Crystal Paine Show - “Courtship Rules and Our First Kiss” Pam Jenoff – The Orphan's Tale Pam Jenoff – The Woman with the Blue Star

130. You Get What You Expect (+ some thoughts on raising teens)

The Crystal Paine Show is dedicated to helping you embrace life right where you are and take practical steps to get where you want to go. Crystal says, "My hope is that this podcast will serve as an inspiration to your week, a pause in your day to slow down and reflect a little, a looked-forward-to part of your weekly routine, a place where we can connect on a deeper level… and ultimately, my desire is that you come away from listening to each episode feeling motivated to bloom where you are planted and take intentional steps to move in the direction you are longing to go." Crystal is a wife, mom of 3, speaker, author, and online entrepreneur, best known for founding MoneySavingMom.com as well as YourBloggingMentor.com.

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