Welcome back to the nuthouse, Dad Bite listeners! In this crispy Fall episode, special guest "AJ" (Christian's wife) drops in to show us how to split up fights like a pro. We also discuss why someone would be naked from the waist down, why 6-year-olds shouldn't drive (or should they?), and how many fingers a drunk guy can blow off with a roman candle. Finally, Christian regales us with a new segment called, "Dad's F*&% Up Stories."

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Ep 24: The Mediator

It's all here on Dad Bite's spring finale episode! Special guest "Anka" drops in to help us discuss important social topics like bizarre dreams, drag queen reading hour, and the truth about Santa Claus... not to mention an insightful look at "Only Fans" (porn or not porn?). Join the Dad Bite crew as they embark upon a fantastic sendoff into summer-- we'll see you in the fall!

Ep 23: Dragon Queens and Covid Comebacks (a Spring Story)

A short and friendly summer primer from Dad Bite to let you know that a) Summer Break is on its way! and b) we have one more Spring episode to share with you, coming very soon!

April Interlude

Happy March from Dad Bite! On this round of Dad Bite debauchery, Christian and Michelle have a chat with Christian's brother, Evan, who shows off his new dad skills. Join these three brain-twisted parents as they discuss magical cures to get your kid to sleep, blowing it out of both ends, and smashing Evan's fancy chandelier. And all the while, Evan gets the pressure of his life to-- yes-- make another baby.

Ep 22: Baby Maker

It's the vaccine edition! Professional-drummer-turned-nurse practitioner Adam Navone makes an appearance on Dad Bite to fill us in on the important details, like 1) what it was like to get a covid vaccine shot, 2) fun facts about nature, and 3) whether he has ever given or received an anal swab. Along the way, we discuss whether it's appropriate to shave your baby. Welcome one and all to the judgment free zone... on Dad Bite. 

Ep 21: You Can Shave Your Baby

 It's a brand new year, but don't think that any of us are going to change: join Christian, Michelle, and guest Amber Albin (Christian's sister/ host of the Really Real Mama podcast) as they delve into the last magical ten months with their families. From illegitimate child Christmas ornaments, to unicorn teachers, to the universal mandate to just sh** on your dad, it's all here so that we can usher in the New Year with grossest stories of humanity. #reallyrealmama, #amberalbin, #christmasornaments, #newyear, #unicornteacher, #dadstools 

Ep 20: Dad's Tools

Happy Holidays from your twisted friends at Dad Bite! This week's guest, "Ossie," (champion dad and fellow smack talker) helps us weigh in on Dad gifts that are truly bizarre. Christian and Michelle also take a moment to ponder "tender moments," virtual kindergarten recordings we wish we could take back, and more phrases that our kids have picked up that will probably land them in detention.

Ep 19: Stop D***ing Around

No one is spared in this special Fall/ November/ Pandemic Fatigue episode. To start, Michelle discusses (and gets slack for) her new love interest; Christian gets a spirit dragon reading; and both of them let loose about kids who won't f--in clean. To top it all off, one of Christian's tiny princesses gives him a scathing review... expressed solely in art.

Ep 18: Love and Light

This is what happens when you're in the middle of a pandemic: sometimes you have find a new guest. Join Christian and Michelle as they find a new guest (while the other one quarantines), all the while discussing what a census worker's liver tastes like, overly sensitive dogs, and first dates at a strip joint (don't worry, we're there for the fried chicken).

Ep 17: Numb Nuts

As we launch into the strangest school year on record, Christian and Michelle take a moment to reflect on their respective weaknesses as parents and as people (and there are many). Along the way they reflect on other important topics, like sister wives, the secret to marriage, and the asshole surcharge... and of course, giving someone your dirty cookies.

Ep 16: Dirty Cookies

It's just getting weirder out there, and Christian and Michelle are here to not offer their help. Join them as they break down the latest events, starting with the things we teach our children in "Not my Homeschool," bums on a mattress, what a "d-bag" is, and the gross things our kids do. Finally, they stop to consider the non-scientific explanation behind the "dad sneeze," replete with an all-out Dad Sneeze competition that nobody could possibly win.

Ep 15: Dad Sneeze

There's a lot to think about in this day and age, like why Christian suddenly loses his mind when he talks to Tweaker Trolls... or whether or not his daughters might be eaten by wolves in the middle of the night. Michelle throws in her two cents, too, with tales of visiting the DMV during the Covid era with her soon-to-be licensed 16-year-old. Finally, we introduce a new segment for Dad Bite called "You Think You're Better Than Me?" where we discuss other parents who claim to be better at this than we are (they are).

Ep 14: It's Light Purple, You D***

Happy Father's Day! In this episode, we celebrate the grossness of being a dad ("Captain Sweaty"), the economics of child labor, and some generally bad tips on parenting. To top it all off, we revel in the poetic glory one of Christian's perennial favorites, Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bears.

Ep 13: Child Labor

In this episode of our Weekday Interlude, a.k.a "The Sh**show Review," Christian ruminates on having a midlife birthday, the state of being a dad, and the inevitability of becoming your own dad. Along the way, we also take the time to relive the first time Christian heard his dad curse, as well as what it's like to smell a 3-year-old's fart. 

Ep 12: Buy More Watermelon (Weekday Interlude)

This bi-week on Dad Bite we discuss giving cigarettes to 5-year-olds, the weird allure of ASMR (don't ask), and the futility of homeschooling. It's a sure sign that we're all going to Dairy Queen in a handbasket.

Ep 11: Hot Whispers

Two tiny princesses, one defenseless dad. At the end of the day, it comes down to just one, simple question: which color of nail polish best matches his eyes? Pink. Definitely pink.

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