Metal festivals: we all hate them. From Psycho Las Vegas to Festum Carnis, these cursed gatherings serve as the bane of every true banger's existence. In this episode, the Dads sit down with Chad Gailey (Necrot, Mortuous, Palace of Worms, Scolex, Atrament, Phrenelith, etc etc etc etc) to get to the bottom of every Parenthead's nightmare scenario: the dreaded FEST.  Music: Nunslaughter, "Death By The Dead" Necrot, "The Blade" PS Shelby was wrong, there are 4 Nunslaughter full-lengths, not 2. NEW contact: deathmetaldads@gmail.com

Death Metal Dads

Episode 48 - Death By The Dad (with Chad Gailey)

The Dads convene for the very first time on DMD with their own offspring Calvyn and Ezra, resulting in a horrific mishmash of bad movies, bad jokes, dad jokes, Jar Jar Binks, Wilford Brimley, and Gigli Allin. Stereotypes are reinforced, iron is pumped, and topical wisdom is dispensed in this thrill-a-minute crash course in parenting gone wrong! Music: Extremity, "Like Father Like Son" Manowar, "Carry On"

Episode 47 - Like Father Like Son (with Calvyn & Ezra)

Aesop and Shelby would like to speak to your manager. Music: Dying Fetus, "Killing On Adrenaline" Faun Fables, "Eyes Of A Bird"

Episode 46 - Killing On Dadrenaline

In today's installment, Aesop and Shelby are joined by their pal Nick Katich (the morbid wizard behind the one-man black metal juggernaut Palace of Worms) to wax moronic about weird Finnish death metal, mispronunciations, selling out, cashing in, fighting The Man, and "sounding like Autopsy". Did you know Nick is a mortician? Yep, and he sure has some crazy fucking stories. So sit back, pour yourself some corpse juice, and have a listen! Music: Sentenced, "Rot To Dead" Palace of Worms "Rot From The Stars"

Episode 45 - Rot To Dad (with Nick Katich)

Finland's own Harri Kuokkanen (Hooded Menace, Ride For Revenge, Horse Latitudes, Hail Conjurer) sits down with the Dads for an in-depth discussion on Danzig, weightlifting, Body Count, religion, and the delicate cultural intricacies of pissing in public. Is Ice T the coolest guy ever? Who's going to Aftershock this year? Is America doomed? Does Blue Oyster Cult still "have it" in 2018? What is "it"? Tune in to find out! Music: Body Count, "Cop Killer" Hooded Menace, "Charnel Reflections"

Episode 44 - Born Dad (with Harri Kuokkanen)

Anal Cunt is a horrible fucking cunt of a band. Ivanka Trump is a fucking cunt. You're a fucking cunt, I'm a cunt, we're all fucking cunts. Who gives a shit? Music: Anal Cunt, "Unbelievable" Extremity, "Grave Mistake" PS Shelby got John Boorman and John Sayles mixed up, sorry.

Episode 43 - You Have A Podcast

Good news, Parentheads! The Dads are back with their third annual Mother's Day episode, featuring very very special returning guest Jeri Scardina (Shelby's mom)! How monumental is the occasion? Well, let's just say there was A FUCKING EARTHQUAKE right when these fools hit the record button! Truly an Act of God, and a DMD episode not to be missed! Music: Vomitory, "The Voyage" The Little Girls, "The Earthquake Song"

Episode 42 - Momitory (with Jeri Scardina)

In today's episode, the Dads are joined by drum wizard and BFF Justin Ennis (Void Omnia, Vale, Ulthar, Cheap Gwar) for a lengthy discussion about Sweden's Oxiplegatz--the alien-fucking, lazer gun-toting, sexy cyborg-having intergalactic alter-ego of former At The Gates guitarist Alf Svensson. Also, they call everyone posers and get to the bottom of why it sucks so much to be a show booker. We were very tired when we recorded this. Music: Oxiplegatz, "Dark Millennium (There Shall Never Be Another Dawn)" Harvey Milk, "A Good Thing Gone"

Episode 41 - Dad Millennium (There Shall Never Be Another Dawn) (with Justin Ennis)

Wherein the Dads regale you, the listener, with the tale of Wulkanaz--a Swedish black metal warrior who defeated his Facebook enemy by means of an axe. Also some talk about Poland's Vader, police brutality, hookers, and The Great Mosh Pit of Life. Music: Vader, "Silent Empire" TV On The Radio, "Ambulance" Wulkanaz, "Lykta och Bloss"

Episode 40 - Dad Profundis

An unconventional installment wherein the Dads comb through their vast and sprawling collection of mp3s to bring YOU, the listener, 16 forgotten bands that are not worthy of their own DMD episode. Thrilling fun, plus bonus content re: pubes! Music: Vastum, "Gagging on a Gash" Hickey, "Revolution $19.95"

Episode 39 - Deep Cuts (From The Vault), Vol. 1: Book of Shadows

Listen to two guys playing hot potato with a blowjob. Music: Unleashed, "The Dark One" The Flaming Lips, "Evil Will Prevail"  

Episode 38 - And The Laughter Has Dad...

Shelby and Aesop sit down with accomplished author (Swedish Death Metal, Violent Italy, Swedish Sensationsfilms) and musician (Insision, Iron Lamb, Diskonto, Third Storm, Tyrant, Usurpress, Dellamorte, etc) Daniel Ekeroth to discuss his career in extreme media, from the punk and hardcore roots of metal to the European influx of B-movie slasher and horror films to the undeniable fact that Finland doesn't actually exist. It's a surreal, over-saturated giallo of discourse, culminating in a tense, horrifying shocker of a finale--leaving all participants confused, blood-covered, and wielding large kitchen knives. What else? Well: Band Economics 101, People Are Allowed To Have Opinions, Dario Argento's Comic Book Store, Born-Again Christian Harry Reems, Drunk At The Gym, A Miserable Small Town In Northern Sweden Ripped Wide Open By Napalm Death, Yngwie J. Malmsteen Smoking Crack Inside of A Hollowed-Out Marshall Cabinet, Japanese Hardcore And You And Me, Aesop's Cool Story About The Nocturnus Book He Didn't Write (Extended, Remixed Version), Exactly One Hundred Years of Censorship, Let The Write One In, The Day Burzum Ruined Everything, Where The Fish Are Made of Candy, Remembering The Alamo (Drafthouse), Dismember-ing The Malmö (Sweden), Drinking Vodka Whilst Driving And Also Yelling At Pedestrians, Sacramento: California's Finland, Wishing A Speedy Recovery To Lemmy Kilmeister, Daniel Tells That Same Story Everyone Has About Their Mom Throwing Out All Their Old Star Wars And Ninja Turtles Action Figures Except It's About Obscure Death Metal Demos This Time, Floridian Methamphetamines And The Bentonomicon, Krug Life, Talkin' Vomitory, The Shape of Cum To Punk, The Malort Connection, Enamel Pin Chat, Last Houses: On The Lefts vs On Dead End Streets, Cult Movie Convention Etiquette, Remember When Voivod Covered The Batman Theme Song?, That Tacqueria In Oslo, Norway That The Guy From Wall of Voodoo Owns, Death Lays An Egg, An Amuse Bouche of Riffs, 100 Beers A Day From 1985 To 1995, "Rashomon" Except It's A Sex Comedy, A Sandwich (The Wegetarian Wersion), No Klingon Dick, The Time Aesop Punched Shelby At The Ruby Room, Beach Friend, Hat Talk, Nap Eyes, Overwhelming Colorfast (Again), Jackin' It To Swedish Aviation Magazines, Les Schwab: Pride And Performance, "The Chicago Handshake", Cutlering Books, Porn And Toilets, Un-Nice Scene Beef, 3 People In A Shitty Hotel Wayyy Outside Baltimore, Kind Of Goblinlike, Rancid Shit, Soft Puke, Torsos, The DMD Bump, and, as always, Fatherly Advice. Not gonna lie, this is a really good episode. Well... It's ok. It's... It's at least better than that last one with Tony Molina. Music: Insision, "World Impaled" Usurpress, "Interregnum" Slamahoochee, "Denny's Lumberjack Slam Breakfast (Come Undone)(feat. Tony Molina)" PS: That Korean horror movie from 2016 is "The Wailing", dammit.

Episode 37 - Swedish Death Metal Dads (with Daniel Ekeroth)

In today's installment, Shelby and Aesop celebrate their two-year anniversary by meeting up with the Final Boss of Death Metal Dads, Mr. Tony "He" Molina (Tony Molina Band, Ovens, Healer, etc). Slam metal and the Hailz Distro Group Chat are discussed at length, and as a special Valentine's Day exclusive, Aesop finally shares the sordid details of the ancient Hickey/Voodoo Glow Skulls Split 7" Debacle. Lots of Bay Area music history and solid roasts in this one, so buckle up! Also discussed: The Pink Immortal Onesie, An Unnecessary Transaction, The Best Tambourine-Repair Shop In Philadelphia, Long Island Slam Metal Blanket Fort, A Reference To Overwhelming Colorfast, Shelby Can't Believe A Vegan Donut, Roger Osborne, The Malignancy Pillow, Tom Araya Going "Aaaahhhhhhhh", A Burger That Has Onion Straws On It And BBQ Sauce And, Like, An IPA, Paul Bostaph's Favorite Ninja Weapon, A Reddit Rabbit-Hole, Paul Ryan/Gordon Jump, The Taco Bell Jerky Lady, Oakland Blacksmiths, When Hardcore Kids Hear Dismember 5 Minutes Ago And Start A Band About It, No-Riff-erum, Fuckin' In A Fire Truck, Building A Community And Supporting The Homies, A Trumpet Full of Yogurt, How Can You Be Gangster When You Play A Trombone?, The Cool Guy Clique, New Standard Elite: The Only Metal Record Label Based On A Yacht, I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry And The Drummer From Internal Bleeding, A Potato With Four Toothpicks Stuck In It With Chewing Gum For A Head, Bands That Have Parts, Defining Interesting Riff Metal, Pinch Harmonics Chat, One Singular Slam, Die In A Fire, Matching Cephalotripsy Hoodies As A Symbol of Pure Friendship, Swoopy Bangs And Stretched Earlobes, Shitty Dudes In A Wood-Panel Basement In 1993, That Time Tony Showed Up To California Deathfest In A Cardigan Holding A Totebag, Anti-Bowman, Little Fight Club, Revisiting The Underwear Punx, Unibrow/Mustache Unity, Crust Punk Rob Schneider, Burnt Ramen vs Gilman vs Mission Records, For Fans of Slap Bass And Grey Aliens, The Burlingame Coat Factory, A Bridge Into The World of Extreme Music And The Occult, The Jello Biafra of Black Metal Bands, Scaphism Chat And The Kings of Ping, Walnut Krieg, The Vanilla Gorillas, Legends of Millbrae Grindcore, Folger's Pigeons, Prison Guards, Weed Raps, Printing Errors, Howling Bulls, Vulgar Crystals, Christian Death Metal, Myspace, Texas Instruments, ASCII Metal, Fudgegazi, Chainsmoking, Quitting Bands, and, as always, The DMD Bump and Fatherly Advice. EVERYONE ARE POSERS. Music: Cephalotripsy, "Sanguinary Misogynistic Execration" Tony Molina Band, "No One Told He" Hickey, "Food Stamps And Drink Tickets"   PS The Creedence song that had the first ever slam was "Looking Out My Back Door"

Episode 36 - Cephalotrips-He (with Tony Molina)

In today's episode, the Dads sit down formally in the austere and labyrinthine lobbies of Radio Valencia HQ with friend, aunt, co-conspirator, and Illogical Contraption Radio host Sara Murphy to discuss furries, Bay Area life, music, feminism, job interviews, and the horrifying banality of everyday life. Epiphanies unfurl and dreams are shattered at neck-breaking speeds, and soon the doomed trio succumb to unavoidable despair in a futile gesture of ultimate chaos and misery. Also: jokes about poop! Also featured herein: A Show For Moms, One Spray And You're South of The Border, The Cum Manifesto, IKEA Banana, The Kitchen From An Eighties Mental Hospital, Too Much of A Team Player, An Actual Lion, Adults In Toddler Clothing, Less Offensive Than Dave Matthews, A Preview of The DMD Mother's Day Special, Seth Putnam's Acoustic Solo Project, A Young Jew, Prick Springfield, "That Sounds Fingerbang-y", M.I.R.V. Chat, Jarboe Reading Poetry Off Of Eugene Robinson's Bare Torso While Neurosis Plays Noodly Ambient Music In The Background, Frequent Assaults, The New York Longstockings, Where's Primus?, Re-Heating The Same Ideas, Something To Whack Off To, Basically Just Making Fun of Hammers of Misfortune, Kind Of Ethnic, Professional Backtracking, Yoga Music And The Brain Bubbles, The Amebix Nicotine Patch, An Albino In A Onesie In The Produce Aisle, 'Lennies, Top Ramen (No Bottoms), Holocaust Record Store, Shopping For Ham Steaks And Bulk Mayonnaise, A Separate Heaven For Hawaiians, The Blood Incantation Shirt Shirt, Identifyin' Imagine Dragons, ASMR Chat (Again), Mustache Doctor, Ed Sheeran Reminisces About Friendster, New Kids On The Blockchain, The Chase Mason Special, Cosmic Carpet, Andergrans Meatl, Hate Mail, Squashing The Beef With Squash Bowels, That's So Murphy, Alameda's Own Brad Willis, Proud Irish Girl, Mephisto Odyssey Park, An Unhealthy Fixation On A Co-Worker, The Boobs Part In "Schindler's List", Femayor, A Lecture About Tipping Generously, A Guy In A Diaper Onstage, Josh Needs An Operation, Wasting Time At The Gas Station, The DMD Platinum Club, "Stash" Dekker, #ReleaseTheDemo, Pizzagate or Whatever, A Shoutout To God, Tiki Torches From Pier One Imports, Short For Trishtopher, Broken Home vs Broken Hope, Old Soup Found In The Microwave of The Lactation Room, Aesop/Andrea, The Nuge, The DMD Bump, and of course, Fatherly Advice. It's an all-day vape! Music: Tiamat, "In The Shrines of the Kingly Dead" Puny Humans, "Deicide, At Their Mom's House"

Episode 35 - In The Shrines Of The Kingly Dad (with Sara Murphy)

The enemies of Robb Flynn are the enemies of America. Music: Immolation: "Despondent Souls" Parliament Funkadelic (with Buckethead, maybe?): "Hideous Mutant Freekz"

Episode 34 - Dadspondent Souls

2 dads interview other parents/musicians/interesting/weird people while trawling through the history of international death metal, the Bay Area music scene, life on the road, and crippling depression. All with a sprinkling of bad dad jokes and a penchant for the ridiculous.

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Death Metal Dads

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