In this shitpile we call an episode of Criminal Minds, somebody's killing poachers by day and breaking into homes and killing people by night. Could they be connected? Probably. In other news, Reid is still in prison. Niles and Frasier are hassling him, and it looks as though Reid's buddy Luis is not long for this world. Thank god there are only--SIX more parts? Jesus H. Crow.

Deliver The Profile

Deliver The Profile Episode 189: Dr. Murder and Mr. Murder

Tatum O'Neal guest stars on this very special episode of Criminal Minds on this very routine episode of Deliver The Profile. "Assistance is Futile" takes the subversive tack of having a suspect's mother come in out of the blue to tell the team her son's the Bonecrusher they're looking for. Reid is still in prison, being bullied by Frasier and Niles while trying to keep his friend Luis from being murdered. The lesson of this episode is assistance is indeed futile, since the most likely outcomes for serial killers is being shot or committing suicide. Listen to the episode to find out which one Bonecrusher succumbs to!

Deliver The Profile Episode 188: BONECRUSHER IS READY

Ronnie and Jazz take a break from Reid in Prison to do a random Season 8 episode that isn't very good. Someone is abducting nannies, raping and burning them with cigarettes. There's a survivor but she won't help the BAU, so it's up to them to badger her into cooperating. Our heroes, ladies and gentlemen. "Nanny Dearest" may not be great, but at least it doesn't have Reid getting pounded in the ass or whatever he'd be doing in prison this week.

Deliver The Profile Episode 187: NO NAAN

Criminal Minds takes on the incel epidemic with "Alpha Male". Someone is tossing acid in the faces of pretty people and it's up to CBS' pretty people to stop it. Meanwhile, Reid is still in jail and finds a new friend in Oz's Augustus Hill, because Reid is the most credulous motherfucker on the planet. Yep, it's garbage all the way down. At least Reid only has...seven more episodes?! Jesus.

Deliver The Profile Episode 186: Glavin

Deliver The Profile's 2 month hiatus has ended...with a movie episode? Yes, Ronnie and Jazz are back to the movies, and what better choice than what amounts to a 93 minute Criminal Minds episode with slightly more gore? This of course refers to Spiral: From The Book of Saw, which contains no book of Saw nor much of anything else! Why is this a Saw movie? Why bring the director of Saw II-IV if you're going to make a clean break in the franchise? At least the movie follows in the grand tradition of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Wild Wild West by having a rap song about it. Join the boys as they dissect what may be one of the worst Saw movies. Even if it's not, they're all terrible, so...

Deliver The Profile: Spiral: From The Book of Saw

It's a brand new story arc and that means for the first time there's a NEW THEME! Yes, Deliver The Profile is finally covering the interminable Reid in Prison arc. How many rape jokes will there be? Too many. As for the episode itself, it's about a guy who controls cars to hit people. Hence the title "Collision Course". This episode could've also gone by the title "Maximum Overdrive", because it's a piece of crap made by people too fucked up on drugs to know any better.

Deliver The Profile Episode 185: Not The Jay Leno Movie

"Route 66"! This week's Criminal Minds is a bifurcated affair, with the team taking on a spree killer who's kidnapped his daughter (or has he?) while Aaron Hotchner fights for his life in a fantasy movie theatre populated by his dead wife and his greatest enemy. Get out your goldenrod pages, it's coma fantasy time!

Deliver The Profile 184: Route 666

"Pariahville" is about a murder in a community of people on the sex offender registry. Did one of the pervs do it or was it somebody else? Meanwhile, Lewis, that's Aisha Tyler's character, is made an offer she can or cannot refuse. It's a pretty stupid episode, but aren't they all? Ronnie and Jazz argue over what a "dude ranch" is in your week's Deliver The Profile.

Deliver The Profile Episode 183: Dude Ranch

Finally DTP returns to regular programming with a regular episode of Criminal Minds "starring" the antagonist from Shadow Wolves as the unsub. In "Blue Angel", someone is taking men and castrating them. What does this have to do with Simmons' attempts to get laid? Not much.

Deliver The Profile Episode 182: Disco Biscuits

Ronnie and Jazz face the horrifying, inevitable reality that is the possible Criminal Minds reboot. This news ruined a cheeseburger, people.

Deliver The Profile Minisode 4: Criminal Minds Reboot?

Ronnie and Jazz convene an emergency session of the podcast to discuss the important Nicholas Brendon news.

Deliver The Profile Minisode 3: Emergency Nicholas Brendon News

Here it is. The Christmas show...in February. Don't worry, though, it is worth the wait. Shadow Wolves is the brainchild of an Islamophobic loser and the greatest film Steven Seagal never starred in. The Shadow Wolves consist of Native American trackers who seek to stop an Iranian from crossing the Mexican bomber to blow up a casino. Thomas Gibson plays the surly mustachioed chief. It's fucking incredible, honestly. Also, Ronnie decides his name is "Mr. Sunshine" and creates the followup to QAnon, "R". Find the hottest conspiracy of 2021 here and only here on Deliver The Profile!

Deliver The Profile: Shadow Wolves

The boys are back to discuss Korean Criminal Minds episode 4, a pivotal part of the Northwestern serial murder case saga.

Deliver The Profile Episode 181: Back to Koreatown

Ronnie and Jazz discuss "The Slave of Duty", aka the funeral episode of Criminal Minds. The cast says goodbye to Haley and pretends there's a chance Hotch will quit the team. It takes a good kicking for that to happen as history has proven. The boys discuss Ronnie's Hung Season 1 blu-ray and also devise alternate ways for Haley to be off the show without killing her.

Deliver The Profile Episode 180: Joe Mantegna's OnlyFans

Here we are, folks: the 100th episode. No, not of the podcast, silly. Don't you know how to read the ID3 tags? This week we're doing the 100th Criminal Minds, a landmark episode that asks the question: how much is a wife worth anyway? Not a whole lot more than some man pain and a beaten to death corpse, apparently. The Crim producers rolled out the red carpet as all your favorites are back: Tiny Detective. Nicholas Brendon. C. Thomas Howell (not in blackface, thank god). Even Anderson and Gina make appearances. Don't worry if you don't remember who those people are; they don't matter. What matters is this is the final confrontation between the team and the Boston Reaper.

Deliver The Profile Episode 179: 100

A weekly Criminal Minds Podcast - Hosted by Ronnie & Jazz

hubhopper

Deliver The Profile

hubhopper