Episode 51: Let’s get one thing straight: this is not fucking official. The boys got some hot goss' that you’re gonna wanna eavesdrop on like yesterday, so Brylcreem that hair back hard and give a listen. But be careful what you listen for...there’s no proof that it’s real. When things go bump in the night, just know that you’ll be alright. The boys are here and (good news) the tests came back clear! Clear of sanity, that is! Since you’re nutzo, why not listen to episode 51 before you strip naked and try to love a cop’s gun?

Don't Be An Idiom

#51 - Sneeze That Gossip On Me, Baby!

Episode 50: Speak of the devil…and episode 50 shall appear! “Episode 50, episode 50, episode 50!” We never said you had to say it three times! What do you think this is? Bloody Mary? Beetlegeuse? Clearly not Candyman 'cause that would require five repetitions. Just stop talking, okay? Sit back and relax. Kick off your shoes and feet and open up a fresh can of Alpo dog food. You’ve had a long week and you deserve a bit-o-pampering. Let the boys’ velvety voices take you to places that would make your wife puke-o-rama sick. If you’re not on cloud 9 by the time the episode's over, there’ll be a free Wawa shorti coupon under your welcome mat by Christmas morn. No welcome mat? No problem! Just jackhammer the neighbor’s front steps until something happens…something big. *Da fine print: Wawa shorti coups will be swiftly downgraded to junior hoags if your neighbor overpowers you before 30 minutes of solid jacking has occurred. This offer is not available in Belarus.

#50 - The Crossing the Line Fiftieth Episode Celebration Extravaganza of the Deep

Episode 49: Hear ye, hear ye! All Mavericks agree—Episode 49 is the bee's knees! Don't make us describe why you should want to subscribe. Don't Be An Idiom is well and alive! That's it. Call in.

#49 - Animal Bones In Yer Terlet

Episode 48: Have you got the August blues? Do you go to bed each night praying that you won’t see the morning light? And then when you wake up, you’re scared and a little balder and fatter than you were the day before? It’s okay to be scared. We’re all scared. Don’t let the bastards 86 the summer without a fight! The boys have episode forty-eight locked and loaded and they’re coming on like gangbusters! So strap on your party-parachute and hit the responsibility eject button one last time. This is the hill to die on! Tell two friends.

#48 - Jerry's Alone Time

Episode 47: What? Did you think it was going to be an all monster summer? Look, the idiom boys would never pass the buck on ya to find your own word histories. You can bet your bottom buck that ain't all she wrote when it comes to our beloved fans! Now, relax that brain so we can penetrate it with funky fresh knowledge. We're goin' in through the eyeballzzzz.

#47 - Clever Cowboy Stuff

Over the course of fifteen days, Albert and Ryan traversed America in search of cryptids, ghosts, witches, and monsters. For this seventh installment of Do Be A Monster, the fellas recount the second half of the route and the many creeps along the way including Huggin' Molly, Altie the Sea Monster, Bigfoot, and more! So pack your anti-ghostwitch spray, pull up your alien laser reflector overalls, and slap on your Sasquatch sensitive compass-watch for Part II of the first official Monster Road Trip! Regularly scheduled Don't Be An Idiom programming returns next episode.

Do Be A Monster - Chigger Warning

Over the course of fifteen days, Albert and Ryan traversed America in search of cryptids, ghosts, witches, and monsters. For this sixth installment of Do Be A Monster, the fellas recount the first half of the route and the many creeps along the way including the Loveland Frogman, the Hopkinsville Goblins, the Honey Island Swamp Monster and many more! So pack your footprint casting kit, lower your infrared ghoul goggles, and buckle up your slime saturated beast belt for Part I of the first official Monster Road Trip!

Do Be A Monster - Big Old Bats

Episode 46: While the boys while away on a Do Be A Monster road trip, you can listen to this tasty bit of nautical content! Now batten down the hatches and brace the storm of idiom information!

#46 - The Ice Cold Lasargna Megasode

Episode 45: Are you a loner? Are you a crazy, wide-eyed loner on a doomed space mission to Venus? Did you catch cornflakes disease on the way there? If so, we've got the only cure this side of the Milky Way. It's episode 45, of course! So, quit taking the piss and cue that shit up! Unless of course you're...namby-pamby.

#45 - Trudging Through The Junkle

Episode 44: Whistle, wastle, whistle, wastle. Did you hear them whispery weasel words reverberating through the kitchen walls? That must mean that today's episode is hogwashed and ready to roll! So, break off all prior engagements, sit in a dark, sound-proof, misery-proof, responsibility-proof closet, and listen hard...very, very hard. You WILL love your life! You WON'T be hungry for content! One and all, chant along: Episode Forty-Four. We. Want. Some. More.

#44 - What Are The Hogdds?

Episode 43: If an episode falls in the woods and the only "living" things around to "hear" it are some sort o' dystopian futuristic cyborg birds (let's call them cybirdz), does it make a sound? The answer is, "What do you care? You've long been dead!" Lucky for you it's the present and boy have we got a present for you! Don't rack your brain trying to choose which wordy podcast to listen to. The choice is clear! So quit playing fast and loose with that dial and tune into Episode 43 of Don't Be An Idiom. A thank you, thank you very much.

#43 - Free Mouthfuls of Cicadas

Episode 42: Today's episode is a maritime trash picker's delight, chock-full of idiomatic flotsam and jetsam to cram into the Fibber McGee's closet of your brain hole. Sit back and while away the hour as the boys regale you with new stories about one of their favorite topics...trash! Listen now or forever moweth the lawn.

#42 - My Hemeralds Are Killin' Me

Episode 41: Once in a blue moon, a hero emerges from the dusty trails of a forgotten dream. A silhouette against a blood-red setting sun, sand and grit in the creases of his jeans, a weathered hat casting a shadow upon his whiskered face, phantom carrots haunting his stinking doltish brain, a trusted four-legged companion by his side neighing deeply (annoyingly perhaps) into the wind...which is a hot, hot wind. His name? Roy. His companion? Boney Boy. Baffled? Befuddled? Bewildered? Drink a goddamn Rolling Rock and you'll find that the contentment you are so tirelessly searching for across them dry desert plains of existence is right there. Yes, it's in the bag.

#41 - God's Cruel Joke

In this fifth installment of Do Be A Monster, the boys take the show on the road! Traveling to different points of Cape Cod, Albert and Ryan explore several mythical creatures associated with the Cape. This mini-episode was recorded on location in a West Yarmouth cottage, a stone's throw away from the Beast of Truro, the Marsh People of Barnstable, Moshup the Giant, and an hour east of the Dover Demon. Regularly scheduled Don't Be An Idiom programming will return with a vengeance in two weeks! Today, enjoy some monster teeth with your clam chowder.

Do Be A Monster - Cape Odd

Welcome earthlings to the fourth installment of Albert and Ryan's sideshow pod, Do Be A Monster. Today the boys take a break from the idiom universe to traverse the stars and skies in an episode dedicated to glowy-eyed, winged weirdos from the great beyond...aliens! Aye, it's an extraterrestrial audial festival of creepy cryptids and cosmic freakazoids. Albert leads the way to Point Pleasant, West Virginia to tango with the mysterious Mothman while Ryan heads two hours east for a wee romp with the Phantom of Flatwoods. Stick around till the end of the episode for an interview with the alien-influenced electronic music duo Losaquis (our Colombian brothers from another mother)!

Do Be A Monster - Yo Quiero Creer

Don't Be An Idiom is a podcast that explores the origin stories of common phrases and idioms. The podcast is based in Philadelphia and hosted by rambunctious loonies Albert and Ryan, two lifelong friends who have vowed to dispel their own ignorance about language and history one idiom at a time.

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Don't Be An Idiom

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