El Hornet Verde finally stings Jimmy Goji, mastermind of the Eleventh Ward's parking lot racket, extortion scams and pinball gambling parlors. But El Hornet Verde will have some explaining to do before Goji's through. Listen to The Liability of Keiko, episode eight of the Dungeons and Dayjobs podcast.Written, performed and edited by Rob Northrup. Concertina music is "Flight of the Carpenter Bee" by Steven Arntson (Creative Commons Attribution License 3.0). Includes the sound effects "Metal Clank Wobble" and "Hubcap Falls Off Car" by Mike Koenig (Creative Commons Attribution License), and an excerpt from the radio show "I Was a Communist for the FBI", episode titled "Red Red Herring" broadcast May 14, 1952.[Run time: 7 minutes, 18 seconds. The link above points to 3.7 MB mp3 file. Click here to see other file formats for downloading and streaming.]

Dungeons and Dayjobs podcast

The Liability of Keiko

"As I fell down the other side of the fence toward the slobbering jaws of the dog, I regretted that I had never tried Campari mixed with Capri Sun."Even if Gus gets away from the dog, how will he escape from its owner, an ambiguously amiable dude who calls himself "Buddha" and threatens to call the truant officer unless Gus tells him a joke? Listen to Kidding the Buddha, Chapter Two of the five part cliffhanger series "My Terrifying, Dry Warrior" to find out![Run time: 17 minutes, 3 seconds. The link above points to VBR 16.4 MB mp3 file (hi-fi). Click here to see other file formats for downloading and streaming.]

My Terrifying, Dry Warrior - Chapter 2: Kidding the Buddha

Follow the course of a relationship in the recipes she makes and his reactions to them. Includes five full, tested recipes in the podcast including: Scalloped Potatoes with Ham Cuban Black Beans and Rice Untitled #7 with Split Peas and Rice (soup) Cheesy Cauliflower and Mushroom Gougere Chicken Pot Pie with Death Stars Soup[Run time: 21 minutes, 6 seconds. The first link above points to VBR 20 MB mp3 file (hi-fi). Click here to see other file formats for downloading and streaming. Music at the beginning and end is a slowed version of "Hot Lips" by Bill Brown and His Brownies, which I believe is in the public domain. There's also a half-speed segment of "Got Butter On It" by Jabbo Smith in the middle.]Remember that you can download the full text of this and all stories from the Dungeons and Dayjobs collection FREE from archive.org or you can buy the collection in paperback today!

Chicken Fried Love Interest with Cilantro and Asparagus

"That graffiti you been seeing the last couple weeks on the desks in your department, it's not your employees doing it. That's the kids. We been trying to catch all the kids that got away on the latest Bring Your Child to Work Day, but three or four of 'em are still loose in the building." What if you could bend a paperclip into a complex, spring-loaded pattern that enabled it to walk across your desk, write reports for you, brew coffee and do your entire job for you? If you could lose yourself in the cracks at work, what could you find there?[Run time: 22 minutes, 52 seconds. The first link above points to VBR 22 MB mp3 file (hi-fi). That's a pretty huge file, so if it takes too long to download, click here to see other file formats for downloading and streaming. Music at the beginning and end is a slowed version of "Hot Lips" by Bill Brown and His Brownies, which is in the public domain.]

The Wire Tetragrammaton

"When I read the flyer for Meals on Wheels, I never thought I'd be hauling a frozen goat out of my trunk and down a hole in the ground...." Melinda Ann Smith reads Trailer of the Temptress, about a woman who delivers food to shut-ins, including a troll, an imprisoned sorcerer and a temptress who lost her powers. You can watch a video of her reading this at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfJO4H7sTYo [Run time: 27:43 minutes. The first link above points to 128 kbps, 26.6 MB mp3 file. That's a pretty huge file, so if it takes too long to download, click here to see other file formats for downloading and streaming. Music at the beginning and end is "Hot Lips" by Bill Brown and His Brownies. Music in the middle is a tampered-with version of "Some Day" by Kathryn Grayson, extracted from the 1936 Lux Radio Theatre broadcast of The Vagabond King.]

Trailer of the Temptress

Have you ever made one of those wagers with a deity where you just know a dozen mortals will end up insane or beheaded, daughters marrying fathers, cousins stabbing grandmothers, and almost always, somebody has to lose an eye? Click here to listen to "Almost Always, Somebody Lost an Eye," the first story of the Dungeons & Dayjobs podcast.[Run time: 17:04 minutes. The link above points to 128 kbps, 16.4 MB mp3 file. Click here to see other file formats for downloading or streaming. Music at the beginning and end is "Hot Lips" by Bill Brown and His Brownies.]

Almost Always, Somebody Lost An Eye

Part Two of "Almost Always, Somebody Lost an Eye." "This is the story of Gon the restless vampire. Fed up with three hundred years of life on Earth, endlessly sucking blood from humans, all the wars and petty politics of the undead community, Gon dropped out of the vampire lifestyle. ...He moved back in with his parents, who had a big place in Milan. They were so glad to see him back that they held off a few years before complaining about how he should grow up, establish a domain of his own somewhere and resume devouring humans like a normal vampire. After all, vampires cannot expect to inherit castles from their immortal parents." ...[Run time: 27:11 minutes. The link above points to 128 kbps, 26.1 MB mp3 file. That's a pretty huge file, so if it takes too long to download, click here to see other file formats for downloading and streaming. Music at the beginning and end is "Hot Lips" by Bill Brown and His Brownies.]

Vampire in the Mountain-Tree

Remember the Dungeons & Dayjobs cartoon from 1983? Hey, look. It's the Dungeons & Dayjobs ride! Wow, neat. Gimme a break. I don't like this. What's that noise? It's the GIANT SUCKING SOUND of our jobs whooshing overseas, just like Ross Perot warned us! ...Nah, Ross Perot said Mexico, not overseas. Whatever. Whoaaaa! (ROAR)How will the kids adjust to this new world of eyeball-tearing corporate boredom and spiritual stagnation? Listen to the Dungeons & Dayjobs podcast promo to find out!As you may know, I published a short story collection called "Dungeons & Dayjobs". I figured it wouldn't hurt to podcast my stories from that book for free, and it might catch people's attention who wouldn't have heard of it elsewhere. Giving away copies in other formats doesn't seem to hurt Cory Doctorow's sales. He podcasts short stories and gives away whole books in electronic format while the hard copies are still in print.I hope you enjoy these stories. If you want more, you could wait for me to post another story, or you can read them all before they show up on the podcast by buying a copy of the book athttp://www.lulu.com/content/182383

Dungeons & Dayjobs cartoon promo

Have you ever made one of those wagers with a deity where you just know a dozen mortals will end up insane or beheaded, daughters marrying fathers, cousins stabbing grandmothers, and almost always, somebody has to lose an eye?

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Dungeons and Dayjobs podcast

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