Feeling zapped, exhausted and just plain tired? Alcohol may be what you are turning or have turned to in the past to unwind and get a reprieve from the demands of modern life. So, what can you do to downshift and rest without a drink? In this episode, Jolene and Aidan discuss their personal experiences with burnout this year and the practical steps they are taking to reignite their energy. They both share how alcohol used to slow things down for them during times of pressure yet the alcohol itself was draining in the long run. Now that alcohol is long gone from the coping repertoire, Jolene and Aidan share they are getting deep rest and replenishing their internal fire.  CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Gray Area Drinkers  - https://grayareadrinkers.com/ Jolene on Instagram -www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/re__filled/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com 

Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives

Episode 38 - Burnout

Have you been berating yourself for your drinking, either past or present? It is time to delve into the work of forgiveness and self-compassion.  In this episode, Jolene and Aidan share how they approach thoughts of regret and shame around their drinking. Forgiveness is not that easy but powerful reframes and self-education can deliver relief and grace during those times you berate yourself for your past drinking behavior. Jolene discusses how brain chemistry is often the underlying cause of the gray area drinking cycle and how to view your drinking with compassion and understanding. Aidan reflects on how her cycle of gray area drinking was aggravated by thoughts of self-loathing and shares how she reframed her thinking to finally stop the cycle and feel into forgiveness.   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Gray Area Drinkers  - https://grayareadrinkers.com/ Jolene on Instagram -www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/re__filled/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com 

Episode 37 - Forgiveness

What happens when Jolene and Aidan have a bad day, dine at an idyllic bistro in Paris, or desire to escape tough feelings? Sometimes they feel the urge to reach for a drink - but they don’t actually follow through. They also discuss how they manage the feeling with self-compassion, joy and confidence through the pissy moods, bad days and the feelings of missing out.  If you are struggling with moments of wanting a drink or thinking that you SHOULD be able to have just one then this conversation will be a balm for your soul. Learning to tolerate the discomfort in the moment is something that Jolene and Aidan are mastering in order to stay the course with an alcohol-free life.  CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Gray Area Drinkers  - https://grayareadrinkers.com/ Jolene on Instagram -www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/re__filled/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com 

Episode 36 - Thinking About Drinking

Three years after giving up alcohol Aidan started having lightning thoughts about her purpose. And, as Jolene comes up on her 5th alcohol-free anniversary, she too feels deeply connected to her intuition and is able to access her inner knowing with more ease. And, as a result, their lives keep getting better and better. So, in this episode, Jolene and Aidan felt called to share their own experiences with how intuition both led them to quit alcohol as well as to a deeper connection with their own inner voice. They also share how drinking used to numb their pain, fear and discomfort and left them both feeling scattered and stuck in life. Yet, that tiny voice inside that was saying “I know I need to stop.” was still there, whispering to each of them. No one said, “alcohol isn’t good for YOU” or pushed them to stop. But they both listened to that little whisper. And since then that voice of deep inner knowing has grown louder, stronger and clearer than ever.   If you are contemplating giving up alcohol and need confirmation that your tiny voice is right or if you are in the early stages of giving up alcohol because you listened to that tiny voice, then this episode is exactly what you need to hear today. Cozy up and enjoy the conversation. CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Gray Area Drinkers  - https://grayareadrinkers.com/ Jolene on Instagram -www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/re__filled/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com 

Episode 35 - Intuition

There is a polarizing trend around drinking labels and what constitutes as “problem drinking”. So, what is gray area drinking and where does it fall on the “problem drinking” spectrum? This is a conversation in which Aiden and Jolene invite listeners to hear their personal stories with gray area drinking and one in which they work to define exactly what this label stands for. One doesn’t have to have a crash and burn story to stop drinking. Neither Jolene or Aiden had one. But, they both had a voice inside telling them “this doesn’t feel right”. That is all it takes to know that drinking isn’t working in your life. Jolene finds that it is more common than not that people identify with this gray area yet there is not a lot of conversation around it. Jolene and Aiden discuss why they didn’t need formal treatment and why no matter the route taken to becoming a non-drinker that we are all in this together. There is no judgment and in the end, we all need to do what is right, ok and safe for us. It is ok to say “I don’t want to drink alcohol anymore” regardless of where you are on the spectrum.   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/p/membership Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com  

Episode 34 - Gray Area Drinking

Drinking is often intertwined with our closest relationships. So much so that we may continue drinking, even though a voice inside is wishing to stop, so that we don’t disrupt the status quo. How do we remove drinking from these relationships and what can we gain in the process? Aiden has been married for 14 years and met her husband at a bar. Their relationship began soaked in alcohol. When she quit drinking she credits her husband's support as making a huge difference in their progress. Now they enjoy a relationship that she says is much more peaceful and they have gained depth in conversations and talk about bigger and more interesting things now that drinking it out of the mix. Maybe there is less to worry about and more to look forward to when we finally untangle our relationships from alcohol. Jolene discusses how alcohol has affected her dating relationships and how she finally realized that alcohol was blocking the type of relationship she truly wanted. Before she went alcohol-free, dating often revolved around drinking. So, when she stopped drinking at 43, she stopped dating too and was faced with the raw emotion of anger of not having the married life she had imagined. As she opened back up to the dating world she found that some people backed away from her because she didn’t drink, yet the right person stepped closer. She is now in a relationship that is built on combined interests and one in which alcohol isn’t a part of their connection.   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/p/membership Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com  

Episode 33 - Relationships

One of the greatest gifts of going alcohol-free is experiencing life deeply in the present moment. There is a quality of clarity and expansion that comes when we aren’t trying to escape into a drink. Yet, what do we do when the present moment is hard and trying? How can we sit in the hard moments without longing to escape? That is the million dollar question. Jolene is going into her 5th year not drinking and discusses how she had to develop the ability to tolerate pain in the present moment. She highlights the power of writing and journaling to stay in the present moment and talks about how to stay grounded and anchored through times of positive expansion. Ultimately the key to staying with trying moments is curiosity and a willingness to navigate the hard edges sober. Aiden shares how she is coping with the death of her mom. She has been feeling the intense emotions which accompany grief and credits not drinking with her ability to hold it together. During her mom’s final years, Aiden was able to show up with a sense of clarity and purpose with her mom and is surprised by her own strength. It turns out that the only way to get through a difficult life event is to stay present with it and move through the uncomfortable moments. CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/p/membership Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com 

Episode 32 - Present Moment

Grief is vast and there is no formula for how to deal with it. Often when drinking takes a turn, loss and grief are found buried under the layers of the pain numbed by alcohol. When we go begin to unpack our relationship with alcohol we often find this story of loss and become reacquainted with the pain. Yet, we are rarely given a model for how to cope with grief sans alcohol. So, what do we do when we no longer use alcohol to numb the pain of loss? Aiden is currently grieving the death of her mother and discusses how she is processing the pain without alcohol. It isn’t easy and she feels the inevitable anxiety that is part of grief yet she reflects on how writing through her mom’s illness gave her control and served as a soothing self-care practice. Aiden shares why she is feeling stronger through the grieving process without alcohol and how this very conversation had a therapeutic effect. Jolene discusses how the loss of a romantic relationship in her late twenties triggered her gray area drinking. Loss can come in many forms - miscarriage, loss of a dream, loss of a loved one - and Jolene emphasizes that we need to be honest with ourselves about how the loss affects us and if we are using alcohol to numb our pain. Often our very own resistance to feeling our big loss is worse than letting it move through our bodies. And, we need to remember that we are built to withstand the pain of hard times without substances. Books mentioned:  Anxiety: The Missing Stage Of Grief by Claire Bidwell Smith The Journey From Abandonment To Healing by Susan Anderson Writing to Heal: A Guided Journal For Recovering From Trauma & Emotional Upheaval by James Pennebaker   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/p/membership Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com 

Episode 31 - Grief

Aidan and Jolene look back on one year of podcasting together and talk about the things that have happened in their lives as a result.  They both shared their bright light moments -Jolene talks about her TEDx talk that she gave in November 2017 and Aidan talks about her TODAY show appearance in April 2018. Jolene also talked more about her online community for Former Gray Drinkers that she recently launched. This membership is for those who have made the decision to stop drinking and want to connect with others who have made the same decision. She wanted to make this as accessible as possible and offer practical content through guest expert interviews and her own virtual training classes. The content focuses on the things we care about once we stop drinking such as weight loss, hormone balance, emotional resiliency, relationships, intuition, financial wellness etc.   To join go to Healthy Discoveries and click on “work with me” then click on Former Gray Area Drinkers Community. When you enter the coupon code “EDIT” you'll receive the first month for $1.     CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/p/membership Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com  

Episode 30 - One Year Of EDIT Podcast

While every aspect of our lives can improve sans alcohol, the reality is there are still aspects of our lives that can still be difficult after we stop drinking. Both Aidan and Jolene have found that finding their flow, purpose, and focus helps them deal with reality. Giving up drinking does not solve all our problems but it allows us to clear the decks and look at what we need to focus on. Removing alcohol is not a protection or guarantee against hard, painful emotions or events. But giving up alcohol does allow us to recalibrate and pull in the resources that we need the most. Aidan has observed that the farther she gets from alcohol the quieter things get. Things don't feel as dramatic. Things get more stable and predictable. Not drinking has become a more measured, stable way of being. Jolene recommends looking into resources like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) to help deal with the physiological underpinnings of why we drank. The reality is we’re dealing with physical, emotional and energetic patterns and the animal brain that often needs re-wiring, re-patterning and replenishing after we stop drinking.   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/p/membership Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com    

Episode 29 - Reality Check

Jolene and Aidan talk about reaching out to a therapist, people in our lives who are supportive and we know are like-minded or communities online or in person. Opening up to people in our life versus trying to figure out this drinking question on our own. But sometimes it’s actually hard to reach out. They also discuss how and when to reach out to others who we are concerned about. Jolene mentions her Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers that she just launched to offer the “what’s next” content and community after we stop drinking. Join and learn more here. Jolene also shares her steps: 1. Reach out, 2. Stay, and 3. Engage. Even if we feel okay and think we're 'fine', staying and engaging are important pieces to reaching out. We're putting in the engagement deposit in our energy bank account. Continue to reach out. The reality is we’re more alone than ever, yet we're wired for connection. We are social beings wanting and needing to connect.   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/p/membership Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com    

Episode 28 - Reaching Out

Jolene and Aidan share experiences they recently had with alcohol being front and center in their life. Even though they no longer drink they still encounter hard moments. These moments can be confusing, baffling and hard, no matter how good, strong and committed we feel. When drinking was part of our identity there will be moments where we’re reminded of who we used to be when we were around alcohol. They talk about what alcohol represented to them plus the effect that alcohol created and other ways and options to have that same effect and feeling now. Aidan recommends noticing and naming that it’s a hard moment and then actually experiencing the moment and to get to the other side. The practice of being uncomfortable is what takes the intensity away. Looking beyond the appearances and appreciating the complexity that there are deeper stories behind the drinking pictures that seem so romantic and perfect. SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Online Community For Former Gray Area Drinkers https://healthydiscoveries.mykajabi.com/p/membership Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com  

Episode 27 - Hard Moments

Jolene and Aidan talk about how social media and Instagram initially brought them together to start this podcast. They discuss how online platforms have played a role in changing how we think about drinking. It has become easy to quickly form online alcohol-free communities and the alcohol conversation is shifting because of podcasts, blogs, Instagram, and FaceBook groups. There is a sense of accessibility that is powerful and good. People can dabble and be "sober curious" at a distance. They can listen and participate at their own comfort level. The community of people becoming interested in this alcohol-free lifestyle is growing. But then there is a flip side to social media as well. Are we hiding behind our computer screens? Face-to-face interaction is an important ingredient as well. She Recovers provides a great in person conference once a year. But do we need more on-going in-person alcohol-free conversations in our local communities? There can be a powerful connection, story, and vulnerability within social media, but we also filter aspects of our lives on social media too.  Jolene and Aidan end by sharing some of their favorite Instagram handles - TheSoberGlow, Tammi Salas, Cleo Wade, Wild Soul Healing, Tell Better Stories 2018, and The_Numinous who also hosts the in-person NYC Club Soda events. In the end, look at the balance between your in-person and online communities. Follow and unfollow in whatever way feels good to you.    SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com 

Episode 26 - #Dry Life + Social Media

What do others say when they are drinking or not drinking around us? How did Jolene and Aidan navigate other people's opinions early on? People will certainly have conversations and opinions, but the fear of what others will think and say is often worse than what's actually said. Some people can be threatened or feel strongly that drinking is a part of life that shouldn't be missed. Taking alcohol out can feel punitive, perfectionistic and unnecessary for many people. However, the stronger you get in your own stance and the decision to not drink the easier this all becomes. If you feel confident and carry that energy into your interactions and social life, Jolene has found her friends have stayed her friends regardless of whether she drinks or not. Some people have even pulled her aside and said they're thinking about cutting back or taking a break from drinking themselves. Arm yourself with an explanation of why you're not drinking. It can be quick and simple. Also, ask yourself how much you're seeking and needing permission from others to do or not do something? Some people will prefer for you to keep drinking, and there can be mild to moderate pushback, but opinions are just opinions. Let people reveal themselves, they might surprise you with their support. The judgment goes both ways, we can also judge those who drink too much as well. Self-awareness and critical thinking is the key. Is there something sideways or off with a relationship in the first place to elicit comments or could the person who is judging be drinking too much themselves?    SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com 

Episode 25 - Other People's Opinions

Is it possible to moderate? What do Aidan and Jolene think about moderation? Aidan says she could moderate but felt miserable. It wasn't pleasant to think about and plan for all the time. It takes the joy out of her day. However, moderation helped bring both Jolene and Aidan to their resolute decision to stop drinking for good.    Jolene found once she drank the first glass of wine the neurochemical activation had begun and it was very difficult to moderate and say no to more glasses of wine.  If you're thinking about moderating you've probably passed the point of being able to moderate. Your energy might be better spent in simply stopping altogether. However, limiting and cutting back on alcohol is a great first step. Questioning why you want to be able to keep drinking is helpful too. The question becomes not can you moderate, but do you want to moderate? It's a choice. Ultimately for both Jolene and Aidan, dealing with the hard stuff in life is better than the merry-go-round of back and forth drinking. Quitting drinking doesn't guarantee or protect us against things. There's nothing wrong with moderating and it's often a path to stopping. Willpower is exhaustible. Critical thinking your way through this question is helpful even if it doesn't feel like it at the moment.   SUBSCRIBE Subscribe to 'Edit Podcast: Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives' on iTunes, SoundCloud, or stream on Stitcher, Google Play. Please consider rating us on iTunes. It will help others find our podcast!   CONNECT WITH JOLENE: Craving Brain Coaching - www.healthydiscoveries.com/coaching/ Jolene on Instagram -  www.instagram.com/healthy_discoveries/ Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com   CONNECT WITH AIDAN: The Dry Life Blog - www.ivyleagueinsecurities.com/the-dry-life/ Aidan on Instagram-  www.instagram.com/drybeclub/ Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com 

Episode 24 - The Moderation Question

Aidan Donnelley Rowley and Jolene Park talk about their decisions to make an Early Exit from the drinking life, the gray area of drinking and the ongoing edits they make to their lives.

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Editing Our Drinking and Our Lives

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