It is pretty common for an HSP or an empath to go from being the uncool, “too sensitive” kid to becoming that cool, fun and detached person who is so easy to get along with, who is friends with everyone and seems to have it all. How does this happen? Well, being a sensitive child or teenager can be really difficult and quite painful sometimes. When all the other kids call us “crybabies” (and maybe bully us because of that), when the adults advise us to “toughen up”, when we are told we are “too sensitive” and we “shouldn’t care that much”, what can we do? A common way to cope with that, a way to protect ourselves from all this pain that “caring too much” seems to bring with it, is trying to reduce how much we care by tuning out, numbing out, and chilling out. In one word: by becoming the “cool kids”. For an HSP or an empath, acting cool is actually a form of protection from being rejected by others, a way to easily become friends with everyone, a pattern of people-pleasing. Are you an HSP who plays this role of a cool, “go with the flow” person? And is this person really you, does this “cool kid” feel like yourself deep inside? Or is it just a mask that protects you from feeling “too much”, from being “too sensitive”, from being that uncool kid who is still silently hurting? Being “cool” means being cold and you, as a highly sensitive soul, are anything but cold. No matter how much you pretend you are made of ice, you have a WARM soul that was sent in this world to shine. And yes, there is a way to be uncool, to be WARM, to be yourself and also feel happy. There is a way to stop being a people pleaser and start leaving the MAGIC life you were created for. In this week’s episode, Lola shares her own experience as an empath who used to be a “cool girl” and the lessons she learned from this experience, she explains why HSPs numb out their feelings and emotions, how trying to “go with the flow” can lead to depression, and why being warm is healthier for an HSP than being cool. Plus, she helps you identify what type of empath you are in order to start your people-pleasing recovery. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Empath To Power Podcast

How The "Cool Kids" Are Secretly People-Pleasing

Giving is the best way to show kindness. This is something we all have been taught from a young age. But is over-giving a form of generosity or is it something different? Generosity makes us feel good. It is scientifically proven that doing an act of generosity raises our levels of happiness and emotional well-being, it reduces psychological problems, and even releases feel-good hormones.  But what about when we over-give? Well, it seems the effects of over-giving are really different. Feeling angry, frustrated and restful are just some of them. So, while being a generous person is a wonderful thing, giving too much can get us caught in unhealthy cycles. Giving in when our child is having a tantrum in the middle of the street, still helping a former client that is not paying for our services anymore, or saying “yes” to something that our partner wants to do, even if we don't want to do it, are all patterns of over-giving in your relationships. Over-giving is something that most of us, HSPs and empaths, are guilty of. Although we know we cannot help everyone, that's exactly what many of us feel like we should be able to do. And we spend a lot of our time and energy doing it. Because we have kind hearts, because, as highly sensitive souls we can feel what others feel and it pains us to see people suffering. Especially when there might be something that we could do to alleviate that pain.  Unfortunately, in many cases, trying to save the world in our over-giving way, ends up depleting us and even making us sick. Both physically and emotionally. But how can we save the world, how can we protect our loved ones if we are not healthy, strong and happy? Is there a way to stop sabotaging ourselves and our relationships by always giving more than we need to? Well, as in many other situations, the first step is awareness. We will first need to identify the patterns of overgiving in all our relationships. And this can be tricky because sometimes there are some surprising ways that this actually shows up.  To find out what these patterns are and what to do to change this behavior, listen to the newest episode of the Moon + Manifest Podcast! Lola reveals some of the physical and emotional indicators that you are over-giving and the most important signs of over-giving as an entrepreneur, as a parent, and as a partner. Listen now to learn how to stop giving too much in order to really be able to SHINE your light upon the world!    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are You Over-Giving? Signs That You Might Be Giving Too Much

Being a highly sensitive soul is definitely a blessing and a GIFT. Many of us recognize this and are thankful for all of the great things that come with being a sensitive human. But, we also know that life in a non-HSP culture can be really challenging sometimes. And there are those moments when this wonderful trait feels more like a burden and we just wish and dream that someday this world will change, will become more sensitive, will understand and appreciate us for what we are. Well, the bad news is that it’s very unlikely that the world will change for us. It is how it is, and maybe it doesn't have to be different. Maybe there is a reason why we are just a small percent of sensitives in a non-sensitive world. Who knows? What we know almost for certain is that the world is not going to change for us. But there is also good news: we have the power to make a positive change in our lives so we can always overcome these challenges. For that, we have to realize that our sensitivity is actually our biggest strength.  If it doesn’t feel like that yet, there are two powerful questions we need to ask ourselves, two questions that can absolutely shift our entire trajectory in life. They are not only powerful strategies to get underneath our subconscious programming, but also ways to rewire our relationship to ourselves and others in this world.  To find out what these questions are, listen in to the newest episode of the Moon + Manifest podcast. Inside, Lola explains what these powerful questions are, why we need to answer them and how they can help us develop our resilience as a sensitive soul so that we  can stop getting in the way of our own success and overcome all the challenges of living in a world that doesn't always understand and appreciate our MAGIC. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Two Most Powerful Questions You Need to Ask Yourself

“Your sensitivity is a superpower”. As an HSP how many times did you hear or read this phrase? How many times did you even say it to yourself or to the people around you? Countless times, right? But let’s be honest for a moment. Do you really believe this? Do you really feel like your sensitivity is a superpower, a blessing, a gift you should love and celebrate? Well, you certainly feel it sometimes. But do you feel this all the time? Are you ALWAYS thankful you were born with this trait?  If your answer is “No”, don’t worry! You are certainly not alone. Most highly sensitive souls struggle with this. Far from feeling like a blessing, there are many times when we feel like our sensitivity is more like a curse, like something that makes us stand in our own way to success and to happiness. But you know that your sensitivity should be a superpower, right? You are convinced it should. So, why doesn’t it feel like that most of the time? Well, first of all, having a superpower is not always something easy to live with. I mean even Superman struggled with self-isolation and hiding his true identity behind Clark’s glasses, right? But does it really have to be like this? Do you really have to struggle? What should you do to partner with your sensitivity, so it can truly become a superpower? Listen to this new episode to find out the answers to these questions and much more! Lola explains why your sensitivity doesn't feel like a superpower yet, what is happening with our sensitivity in its pre-superpower state, what our real sensitive superpower is and much more. Plus, we teach you the art of being able to navigate as you are, without needing to toughen up and we reveal the three steps you should take in order to learn how to partner with your sensitivity. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How to Turn Your Sensitivity Into a Superpower

“If you want a better life, you have to change your habits and improve your mindset.” How often did you hear this advice? And how does it make you feel deep inside? Do you resonate with it? Do you really believe that this would work for you?  Maybe your answer is “No”, or maybe you even tried to follow this advice and didn’t really get the results you expected. If that is the case, don’t worry! There is nothing wrong with you! It doesn’t mean that you don’t want to change, or that you don’t have what it takes to create positive changes in your life. You just need to go about it differently. If you are an HSP or an empath your nervous system is different and more wired for protection. That means it can prevent you from going into an unfamiliar place or navigating uncertain territory just to keep you safe.  Even though you might try a new habit, and you might try some positive mindset techniques, if your nervous system doesn't feel safe with the success that those habits or patterns of thinking are going to lead to, then you are going to get in your own way. So, what should you do instead? How can a highly sensitive soul feel empowered to create the life that they want and DESERVE to have? Listen to this new episode to find out the answers to these questions and much more! Lola is going to explain how mainstream personal development advice can misdirect HSPs and empaths and why trying to change habits or mindset is totally backwards for neurodivergent people. She will also talk about some of the most common signs that your nervous system might be more wired for protection than you think. Plus, she will reveal a “manifestation” practice that will take you farther in a year than vision boarding ever could!  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why You Don't Need Better Habits

Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries sounds very challenging for a highly sensitive soul because our boundaries can be full of holes, confusing, or nonexistent.  HSPs and empaths need healthy and solid boundaries to be able to create the deep CONNECTIONS their souls need. Does the idea of boundaries sound kind of confusing to you? Is it hard for you to build healthy boundaries? Do you usually find it difficult to say “No,” just because you are afraid of hurting someone’s feelings or because you are always worried about what people think about you? Well, you are not alone! Most highly sensitive people are struggling with this issue, operating with polarized boundaries that are toxic and unhealthy, instead of setting resilient ones.  The good news is that you have the power to CHANGE this and learn how to set and maintain healthy boundaries as a highly sensitive person.  In this week’s episode, Lola dives deep into what boundaries are, how they function, what they are made from and how they can help you become a better version of yourself. Plus, we’ll reveal some effective strategies to start building healthy boundaries that will help you develop your amazing POWER to create deep, genuine, and special connections. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How To Set And Maintain Healthy Boundaries as a Highly Sensitive Person

Purpose is defined as “the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.” Many of us spend lifetimes in the agonizing and sometimes elusive pursuit of purpose. We seek it in our jobs, personal lives, goals, and ambitions. But is purpose all it’s really cracked up to be? Is it a  ‘missing link’ that can be found? In this week’s episode, Lola breaks the myth around purpose by reminding us that sourcing a sense of belonging from what we do, and not from who we really are, is a trap. and that the real key to purpose lies in the alternative definition — “a person's sense of resolve or determination” (supported by resilience) — is the key. If you feel like you’re stuck in an endless loop of trying to derive meaning from everyday drudgery that may be bordering on madness, this episode offers you a way out. You’ll discover how to build resilience and arm yourself with fortitude and awareness to ensure that you always stay in tune with who you really are, and what your true purpose is! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Purpose Myth: Misconceptions and the Mistakes We Make Trying to ‘find’ our Purpose

Gaslighting, a term you’ve probably seen thrown around quite a bit...but what does it actually mean? Gaslighting put simply, is a pattern of manipulation that causes someone to doubt themselves. Most of the time this comes from outside sources such as family, friends, co-workers, or even our intimate partners, but what if over time this pattern no longer comes from outside sources? What if we began to manipulate ourselves to sow the seeds of doubt in our own minds? Could you subconsciously begin to Gaslight yourself? As empaths and sensitive souls, we are especially vulnerable to suffer from gaslighting. There is a multitude of ways that we can start to gaslight ourselves, so how do we identify them? How can we learn to decipher what thoughts are from our true selves, and what thoughts are conjured from our own self-doubt? How do you stop over-rationalizing my intuition, and begin to trust your own gut feelings?   Luckily on this week’s podcast, Lola is going to answer all of these questions and give you tips on how to break free from your inner glass ceiling. Intentions and knowledge are as good as the requisite action, so be prepared to take smoke actionable steps and manifest a change to stop gaslighting yourself. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Are You Gaslighting Yourself?

Wouldn’t it be amazing to have the ability to shed the things that hold us back like a snake sheds its skin?  But each and every one of us knows how challenging it can be to let go and move on — even when we’re moving toward bigger and better things. So how can we ease into these necessary transitions into our lives? Not all of us are so keen to perform elaborate cord-cutting rituals. Thankfully, those aren’t the only ways we can energetically clear and cleanse the things we need to let go of. 4 Surprisingly Practical Ways to Cut Cords In this week’s episode, Lola will take you on a journey from the kitchen, to the bedroom, and even to the bathroom and show you some thoroughly magical but surprisingly practical cord cutting rituals that you can do any time! Get ready to unleash some everyday magic using these practical exercises to cut cords and release what no longer serves you.   DISCLAIMER: When Lola speaks about cutting physical objects as a metaphorical practice, she is not referring to self harm. If you or a loved one are cutting yourself as a way to process your pain, please speak to a licensed mental health professional so you can receive support.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

4 Surprisingly Practical Ways to Cut Cords

The modern workplace can feel overwhelming enough as an empath, not to mention landing the job to begin with! If you’re an empath or highly sensitive person, you may have experienced struggles with the job process. That’s why we are going to talk about navigating the workplace and answer why no one wants to hire you as an empath. Many of us have experienced the dilemma of choosing to either be an empath and be true to ourselves, or to be employed. Finding that middle ground can feel unobtainable, so we default to disconnect from ourselves for the sake of employment. This is not only unhealthy, but disconnects us from our true self. Empathy is currently the #1 skill being recruited in corporate America, which empaths have in spades! So why are empaths still struggling to find and maintain careers, get promotions, or even get paid their worth? Are you ready to become an outrageously awesome hire? In this week's episode, Lola explains why empaths struggle in the modern workplace, how to discover what feelings are your own and not someone else’s, finding a healthy place of empowerment,  the importance of setting boundaries and their purpose, and establishing resilience as an empath. Prepare to learn how to feel your own feelings, connect to yourself, and to grow into your best work self. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why No One Wants To Hire Empaths

Have you ever felt the need to please, placate, or help other people at the expense of your own needs or desires? This pattern is called people-pleasing, and in this episode, I’m going to show you how to stop people-pleasing in your own life. Sometimes it can feel like you are locked into a battle of either making yourself happy OR making everyone else happy. This is a reality that many empaths and highly sensitive people face on a daily basis. Because you can feel other people’s emotions and energies so strongly, shielding yourself from their unhappiness, unease, judgment, and misunderstandings through subconscious people-pleasing is a way that your nervous system helps you feel safe.  So, how can you talk about things or make decisions that could be triggering, upsetting, or insight judgment from other people, without being paralyzed by their discomfort? Are you ready to learn how to stop people-pleasing? In this week’s episode, Lola explains exactly what people-pleasing is, why we subconsciously do it,  the “shadow” side of people-pleasing, and how to let go of taking responsibility for other people's feelings. Get ready to take a deep dive into one of your nervous system’s most confusing defense mechanisms! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How to Stop People-Pleasing

Have you noticed that the neurodivergent and Empath/HSP communities are often intertwined? From common experiences to similar diagnoses popping up throughout the lives of Sensitive Souls, each of us is made brilliant by our divergence from “the norms” of society. But too many of us hold ourselves back with the belief that we’re “broken” or that we need to be “fixed” in some way. In this week’s episode, Lola reminds us to follow the path to liberation — whatever that may look like for you as an individual — and offers insight into how and why neurodivergence and being an empath go hand in hand. If you’re a part of the neurodivergent and/or Empath/HSP communities…you may actually belong to both spaces. Why? Listen in to find out! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Neurodivergence and Empaths

Shadow work is an intrinsic part of living our most authentic lives. But how do we actually go about illuminating the pieces of ourselves that we’ve hidden away? It can be nerve-wracking and uncomfortable to face these “darker sides” but with the proper approach, we can do the work, grow, and blossom into fuller versions of ourselves. Leading with light and moving from a space of compassion. In this week’s episode, Lola explains exactly what our “shadow” is and shares some tips on how to begin shadow work. This episode is surely one you’ll come back to as you embark on your journey to transcend your darker side! Grab a pen and paper, and get ready to take notes. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How to Transcend Your Darker Side with Shadow Work

As Highly Sensitive People and Empaths, we are able to deeply tune into the experiences of the people around us. This is an extraordinary gift when it comes to helping others, but it’s an awful hindrance when we’re brought face to face with toxic narcissistic traits and gaslighting. Why do Empaths so often find themselves in unhealthy relationships? What makes Highly Sensitive People more vulnerable to codependency and toxic dynamics like gaslighting and derailment? In this week’s episode, Lola digs into the shadow side of life as a Sensitive Soul and shines a light on the patterns that hold us back from our growth and wellbeing. Are you ready to stop getting gaslit by others AND yourself? This is the episode for you! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Why Are Empaths So Easy to Gaslight?

Financial trauma is real and it affects so many of us! Even when we make a conscious effort to move from a space of logic, our nervous system holds onto the memory of our experiences — both good and bad — which can disrupt our income. So what do you do when your body has created a non-beneficial relationship with money in an attempt to keep you safe? Before you can make (and keep) money, your nervous system must have the capacity to hold it! In this episode, Lola and Kimberly dive into the topic of money and the nervous system. Once you learn to identify how money patterns and financial trauma have affected your nervous system responses, you can step into the frequency of abundance. Take charge of your finances and work alongside your nervous system to create the financial freedom you deserve! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Best Of: Money and the Nervous System with Kimberly Johnson

Life as an empath or highly sensitive person can be frustrating, exciting, magical, and oh-so-overwhelming. Join longtime Empath Coach, Lola Pickett, as she guides you to befriend your anxiety, heal your nervous system, set boundaries, and embrace your personal power. If you're an Empath who's ready to channel your sensitivity for the greater good (without abandoning yourself in the process), this is the podcast for you! Get all the complete show notes, resources, and inspiring quotes from each episode at https://empathtopower.com

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Empath To Power Podcast

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