Have you ever received bad news that felt as if someone had kicked you in the guts? Have you ever received a phone call telling you to get to the hospital as quickly as possible because your loved one was involved in an accident? Have you ever had a knock on the door, possibly from law enforcement that your loved one was injured and had died?  In our bravest of moments we dare think upon such scenarios and wonder what we will do if that ever happened to us. The truth is though, that these scenarios have happened to real people. It has happened to real mothers, real fathers, and siblings and friends. Some deaths happen over time and through the years, but other deaths happen quickly and without any opportunities to prepare. Just this week, I got a call from one of Marines and he informed me that his father had died suddenly in his hotel room all alone. He just had dinner with this father and the next day he gets a call letting him know that his father had died. He was devastated at the news because there was nothing to indicate to him that his father’s last meal would be with his son the day prior. What are we to make of that but acknowledge that sometimes death comes suddenly and without any warning. God forbid that this happen to you, but I am always one for proactive preparation and I hope that this episode helps you in someway. This episode of Evening Thoughts is entitled when Death comes Suddenly and I want to talk about navigating death of a loved one or a friend when it comes without any time to prepare. Join me in tonight's episode of Evening Thoughts.

Have you ever received bad news that felt as if someone had kicked you in the guts? Have you ever received a phone call telling you to get to the hospital as quickly as possible because your loved one was involved in an accident? Have you ever had a knock on the door, possibly from law enforcement that your loved one was injured and had died?  In our bravest of moments we dare think upon such scenarios and wonder what we will do if that ever happened to us. The truth is though, that these scenarios have happened to real people. It has happened to real mothers, real fathers, and siblings and friends. Some deaths happen over time and through the years, but other deaths happen quickly and without any opportunities to prepare. Just this week, I got a call from one of Marines and he informed me that his father had died suddenly in his hotel room all alone. He just had dinner with this father and the next day he gets a call letting him know that his father had died. He was devastated at the news because there was nothing to indicate to him that his father’s last meal would be with his son the day prior. What are we to make of that but acknowledge that sometimes death comes suddenly and without any warning. God forbid that this happen to you, but I am always one for proactive preparation and I hope that this episode helps you in someway. This episode of Evening Thoughts is entitled when Death comes Suddenly and I want to talk about navigating death of a loved one or a friend when it comes without any time to prepare. Join me in tonight's episode of Evening Thoughts. 

Evening Thoughts

Ep 32: When death comes suddenly

I have wrestled with this question many times in my life, and it has been reignited by the fact that I am about to close one chapter of my life to another. For the last 5 years, I have been a Chaplain to the Marines. I have trained with them, been deployed with them, tragically lost Marines and Sailors together with them, and celebrated their successes as well. Now as I look ahead to my new set of orders, I will no longer wear the Marine uniform and I will be a chaplain to my Sailors on a ship. I am about to begin a new journey and so this is the perfect place for me to once again visit this question. What is God’s calling for my life? Has anything changed? Do I still feel the same calling as I did before? These are the questions that I am asking myself a lot lately. I imagine that many of you have asked the same questions as you prayed for God to reveal his purpose for your life. In tonight’s episode, my aim is perhaps share with you some things that have worked for me over the years and to encourage you in your own pursuit. Let us talk about that this evening.

I have wrestled with this question many times in my life, and it has been reignited by the fact that I am about to close one chapter of my life to another. For the last 5 years, I have been a Chaplain to the Marines. I have trained with them, been deployed with them, tragically lost Marines and Sailors together with them, and celebrated their successes as well. Now as I look ahead to my new set of orders, I will no longer wear the Marine uniform and I will be a chaplain to my Sailors on a ship. I am about to begin a new journey and so this is the perfect place for me to once again visit this question. What is God’s calling for my life? Has anything changed? Do I still feel the same calling as I did before? These are the questions that I am asking myself a lot lately. I imagine that many of you have asked the same questions as you prayed for God to reveal his purpose for your life. In tonight’s episode, my aim is perhaps share with you some things that have worked for me over the years and to encourage you in your own pursuit. Let us talk about that this evening. 

Ep 31: How can I find God’s calling for my life?

Where is your confidence? If it is your looks, your money, your career, your intellect, your talent, or your marital status, would you move that confidence over to Jesus? We do that by abiding, being connected, by being nourished by Jesus Christ every single day. Finding Confidence in Jesus is one of the marks of a Christian. Join me as we delve into 1 John 2:28-29, 3:1-10 and let's talk more about what it means to be a Christian.

Where is your confidence? If it is your looks, your money, your career, your intellect, your talent, or your marital status, would you move that confidence over to Jesus? We do that by abiding, being connected, by being nourished by Jesus Christ every single day. Finding Confidence in Jesus is one of the marks of a Christian. Join me as we delve into 1 John 2:28-29, 3:1-10 and let's talk more about what it means to be a Christian. 

Ep 30: The marks of a Christian

Tonight’s episode is entitled, Is Empathy a sin? Now some of you may be caught off guard because this may be the first time you’ve ever heard that some people think that empathy is a sin. At least I was not aware that some Christians believe that empathy is a sin until recently. And then there are Christians who say that there is a place for empathy and employing it with caution is wise. In this episode, I will define what I think Empathy is, and talk about some of the good I see in it, and the potential dangers of it and let you decide for yourself whether empathy is sinful.

Tonight’s episode is entitled, Is Empathy a sin? Now some of you may be caught off guard because this may be the first time you’ve ever heard that some people think that empathy is a sin. At least I was not aware that some Christians believe that empathy is a sin until recently. And then there are Christians who say that there is a place for empathy and employing it with caution is wise. In this episode, I will define what I think Empathy is, and talk about some of the good I see in it, and the potential dangers of it and let you decide for yourself whether empathy is sinful.   

Ep 29: Is Empathy a Sin?

The Evening Thought for this episode is: Creating Healthy Boundaries When Helping Others. We will at one time or another find ourselves helping those around us, and I want to encourage those of us who do it regularly, specifically as a care giver or a counselor of some sort to create healthy boundaries to save yourself some trouble later on. Unfortunately, I had to learn this the hard way. So…I have a confession for you. That is a funny way to start a podcast episode, isn’t it? But I do and I say it like that because the topic for tonight’s episode is something that I had to learn over the years and when I learned how to do it, it felt like I could do ministry more joyfully and successfully for all involved. My confession is this: I like being wanted. I like being needed. I like feeling as if I am important to someone and them depending on me for help. I like being the primary person who helps someone else and for them to recognize me for it. I speak from my ego and my pride when I start believing that I should be the center of someone’s source of help. So I confess this to you because as a Chaplain and a Pastor, I’ve learned to pull myself away from this unhealthy behavior because ultimately I was creating bad boundaries with those who came to me for help. I like hearing someone say, “Chaps you are the only one who understands me.”  I liked them saying, “No one helps me but you chaps.” Chaps, “I don’t know what I would do without you.” Have you ever had someone say this to you? Or say something like this to you? You may already see where I am going with this, but boundaries are necessary at times when we help someone. Join me tonight in this episode and let's talk more about that.

The Evening Thought for this episode is: Creating Healthy Boundaries When Helping Others. We will at one time or another find ourselves helping those around us, and I want to encourage those of us who do it regularly, specifically as a care giver or a counselor of some sort to create healthy boundaries to save yourself some trouble later on. Unfortunately, I had to learn this the hard way. So…I have a confession for you. That is a funny way to start a podcast episode, isn’t it? But I do and I say it like that because the topic for tonight’s episode is something that I had to learn over the years and when I learned how to do it, it felt like I could do ministry more joyfully and successfully for all involved. My confession is this: I like being wanted. I like being needed. I like feeling as if I am important to someone and them depending on me for help. I like being the primary person who helps someone else and for them to recognize me for it. I speak from my ego and my pride when I start believing that I should be the center of someone’s source of help. So I confess this to you because as a Chaplain and a Pastor, I’ve learned to pull myself away from this unhealthy behavior because ultimately I was creating bad boundaries with those who came to me for help. I like hearing someone say, “Chaps you are the only one who understands me.”  I liked them saying, “No one helps me but you chaps.” Chaps, “I don’t know what I would do without you.” Have you ever had someone say this to you? Or say something like this to you? You may already see where I am going with this, but boundaries are necessary at times when we help someone. Join me tonight in this episode and let's talk more about that. 

Ep 28: Creating healthy boundaries when helping others

God’s word is often like a surgeon’s scalpel and God uses it to perform heart surgery on us. At times, it can hurt because we are faced with our own sin and these words are very piercing. It can be weighty and there may be times when you say to yourself "boy…I am missing the mark." Or "I am dropping the ball."Sometimes we may get discouraged when we see our efforts fail. When this happens, we must take a pause and reminder ourselves of the assurance that we have in Christ. We must remember the never ending, and always true beliefs about who God is and who you are in him. And the truth is there is not one of us who has a leg up on another person here. There is not one of us more deserving of God’s grace more than someone else. We are not perfect. We don’t always obey perfectly God’s word. Yes, let us spur one another to higher standard. Yes, let us challenge each other for deeper growth, but let us also keep reminding one another and assuring each other of the never ending, always abounding grace of God. Join me tonight as we delve into 1 John 2:12-14 to talk more about this.

God’s word is often like a surgeon’s scalpel and God uses it to perform heart surgery on us. At times, it can hurt because we are faced with our own sin and these words are very piercing. It can be weighty and there may be times when you say to yourself "boy…I am missing the mark." Or "I am dropping the ball."Sometimes we may get discouraged when we see our efforts fail. When this happens, we must take a pause and reminder ourselves of the assurance that we have in Christ. We must remember the never ending, and always true beliefs about who God is and who you are in him. And the truth is there is not one of us who has a leg up on another person here. There is not one of us more deserving of God’s grace more than someone else. We are not perfect. We don’t always obey perfectly God’s word. Yes, let us spur one another to higher standard. Yes, let us challenge each other for deeper growth, but let us also keep reminding one another and assuring each other of the never ending, always abounding grace of God. Join me tonight as we delve into 1 John 2:12-14 to talk more about this. 

Ep 27: The Assurance of your faith

Unless you are Forrest Gump, you don’t just wake up one morning and decide to go run a marathon. You don’t just wake up one morning and lift weights like Arnold Schwarzenegger. You don’t just wake up one morning and cook a meal like Gordon Ramsey. It takes time to train. It takes time to develop your endurance. It takes hours in the gym lifting heavy things and putting them down. It takes trial and error to cook a gourmet meal. In the same way, you don’t get a noble character by accident. You don’t become an honest person by whim. It takes practice and it takes time. It takes deliberate intention to be a person of integrity. You don’t become a patient person when everything goes your way. Use the opportunities you have to make healthy changes in your life and ensure that you give yourself time to make those changes. Don’t give up when things get hard. Don’t give in when your motivation lessens. Make use of this season of change in your life to make positive growth changes for yourself. Let's talk more about that in tonight's episode of Evening Thoughts.

Unless you are Forrest Gump, you don’t just wake up one morning and decide to go run a marathon. You don’t just wake up one morning and lift weights like Arnold Schwarzenegger. You don’t just wake up one morning and cook a meal like Gordon Ramsey. It takes time to train. It takes time to develop your endurance. It takes hours in the gym lifting heavy things and putting them down. It takes trial and error to cook a gourmet meal. In the same way, you don’t get a noble character by accident. You don’t become an honest person by whim. It takes practice and it takes time. It takes deliberate intention to be a person of integrity. You don’t become a patient person when everything goes your way. Use the opportunities you have to make healthy changes in your life and ensure that you give yourself time to make those changes. Don’t give up when things get hard. Don’t give in when your motivation lessens. Make use of this season of change in your life to make positive growth changes for yourself. Let's talk more about that in tonight's episode of Evening Thoughts. 

Ep 26: Why is change so hard?

Gentleness is one of the fruits of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22–23: “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” This means that a person filled with the Holy Spirit will exhibit these qualities and it is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. It is the evidence of the indwelling of God’s Spirit within you to display gentleness. So being gentle does not mean that you have a lack of strength, but quite the opposite. Being gentle means that you have the strength of God within you to be tender for his glory and for the benefit of others. Be strong. Be gentle. Let's talk more about that in tonight's episode.

Gentleness is one of the fruits of the Spirit. Galatians 5:22–23: “the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” This means that a person filled with the Holy Spirit will exhibit these qualities and it is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of strength. It is the evidence of the indwelling of God’s Spirit within you to display gentleness. So being gentle does not mean that you have a lack of strength, but quite the opposite. Being gentle means that you have the strength of God within you to be tender for his glory and for the benefit of others. Be strong. Be gentle. Let's talk more about that in tonight's episode. 

Ep 25: Gentleness is not weakness

Tonight’s episode is entitled, “Caring for your aging parents.” My aim is to encourage you and let you know that for those of you who are in this season of life, God sees you and he loves you and your aging parents. To this goal, I want to talk about how we can love and care for our parents who may need more patients and compassion from us as they age.

Tonight’s episode is entitled, “Caring for your aging parents.” My aim is to encourage you and let you know that for those of you who are in this season of life, God sees you and he loves you and your aging parents. To this goal, I want to talk about how we can love and care for our parents who may need more patients and compassion from us as they age. 

Ep 24: Caring for your aging parents

I want to change your mind about having conversations about death with your family. It is not morbid. It is not weird. If done correctly, it can be one of the most rewarding and loving things you can do for your dying loved one. We will all have to do it at some point to some capacity. My aim for you is that you would take these opportunities and not run from them but to lean in. Join me in this episode as we explore more.

I want to change your mind about having conversations about death with your family. It is not morbid. It is not weird. If done correctly, it can be one of the most rewarding and loving things you can do for your dying loved one. We will all have to do it at some point to some capacity. My aim for you is that you would take these opportunities and not run from them but to lean in. Join me in this episode as we explore more.  

Ep 23: Preparing your loved ones for their death

This Christmas day, you will have distractions. Not all distractions may necessarily be bad in nature, but they are distractions nonetheless. Don’t get too caught up with the lights. Don’t get too caught up with the emotions of feeling the festive cheer. Don’t get too taken by the gifts that you receive that you forget to thank God for the greatest gift of all, his Son. Don’t get distracted by the story of Santa that you would trade the greatest story of the incarnation of the Son of God into the world as the Light that would save all mankind. Join me again this evening as we explore more.

This Christmas day, you will have distractions. Not all distractions may necessarily be bad in nature, but they are distractions nonetheless. Don’t get too caught up with the lights. Don’t get too caught up with the emotions of feeling the festive cheer. Don’t get too taken by the gifts that you receive that you forget to thank God for the greatest gift of all, his Son. Don’t get distracted by the story of Santa that you would trade the greatest story of the incarnation of the Son of God into the world as the Light that would save all mankind. Join me again this evening as we explore more. 

Ep 22: The True Light of Christmas

Scars come in many sizes and colors don't they? I am a burn survivor and can't remember a time when I didn't carry a scar on my body. At times I was ashamed of having this scar. I resented my scar and even considered it my enemy. However, I now consider my scar as my ally. It is an instrument in which I can help others. The thing about scars is that they are not always physical. In fact, the invisible scars may be hidden but perhaps are more dangerous because they may never get the chance to heal properly. You may have a scar of your own. Would you join me in this episode as we explore how I have come to be at peace with my scar and so can you.

Scars come in many sizes and colors don't they? I am a burn survivor and can't remember a time when I didn't carry a scar on my body. At times I was ashamed of having this scar. I resented my scar and even considered it my enemy. However, I now consider my scar as my ally. It is an instrument in which I can help others. The thing about scars is that they are not always physical. In fact, the invisible scars may be hidden but perhaps are more dangerous because they may never get the chance to heal properly. You may have a scar of your own. Would you join me in this episode as we explore how I have come to be at peace with my scar and so can you. 

Ep 21: Making peace with my scar

When I was deployed our ship had not one but two anchors. During storms, these anchors were at the ready to drop down into the ocean to keep us steady and hold us in place where we wanted to be. Just like how ships need anchors, so do you and I. Join me as we delve into Hebrews 6:13-20 and let us learn about the true anchor of our souls.

When I was deployed our ship had not one but two anchors. During storms, these anchors were at the ready to drop down into the ocean to keep us steady and hold us in place where we wanted to be. Just like how ships need anchors, so do you and I. Join me as we delve into Hebrews 6:13-20 and let us learn about the true anchor of our souls. 

Ep 20: We all need an Anchor for our souls

I came out from 5 years working as a hospital chaplain with an almost fascination with grief. It’s not so much that grief is something that I enjoy, but it was in times of grief that I saw glimpse of beauty. It is in times of my own grief and observing others grieve that a timely word, or a timely statement from someone was all the difference that was needed. So in this episode, I want to revisit the topic of grief, but more specifically this episode is entitled 6 things you should say and do for grieving people.

I came out from 5 years working as a hospital chaplain with an almost fascination with grief. It’s not so much that grief is something that I enjoy, but it was in times of grief that I saw glimpse of beauty. It is in times of my own grief and observing others grieve that a timely word, or a timely statement from someone was all the difference that was needed. So in this episode, I want to revisit the topic of grief, but more specifically this episode is entitled 6 things you should say and do for grieving people. 

Ep 19: 6 Things to say and do for grieving people

Our words can bring life to those around us, but our words can also be poison and bring intense hurt to those who are most vulnerable. For all of us, it is only a matter of time that we will find ourselves in situations where we can be an incredibly loving presence during times of intense grief. Would you join along with me tonight as we explore things we should never say to those who are grieving due to loss of a loved one?

Our words can bring life to those around us, but our words can also be poison and bring intense hurt to those who are most vulnerable. For all of us, it is only a matter of time that we will find ourselves in situations where we can be an incredibly loving presence during times of intense grief. Would you join along with me tonight as we explore things we should never say to those who are grieving due to loss of a loved one?  

Ep 18: 6 Things not to say to grieving people

A chaplain‘s reflections about faith, life, death, and the beyond.

hubhopper

Evening Thoughts

hubhopper