Ella and I are autistic.  We talk about being HIGHLY sensitive, masking, autistic burnout, neurodivergent shame, and getting a diagnosis. We also discuss: the shortcomings of the western medical system; turning off ALL emotions as a response to having big feelings; special interests; the gap between logic and heart; queer and spiritual; O.C.D., G.A.D., & major depression; BPD and not identifying with past diagnoses; understanding and respecting your own needs and boundaries; fear of taking up too much space; clear, direct communication; PLUS, Gaby, Dagenson and I chat about feeling scared and believing in our selves AND I rant about the humyn species and how confusing they/we are! Recorded June 15 & Oct 17/18, 2021. Buy MERCH: www.kyeplant.bandcamp.com SUPPORT via PATREON: www.patreon.com/feelinweird DONATE via Paypal Instagram: @feelinweirdpod Web: www.feelinweird.com Email: feelinweird@gmail.com 

Feelin Weird

116. Autism + Neurodiversity

Non Wels (You, Me, Empathy; Feely Human) and I navigate BIG feelings, jealousy, psilocybin journeys, DIY healing and art, limiting beliefs, self-harm and the belief that "I deserve to be in pain." We also discuss: perfectionism; BPD; the power of podcasts; shutting down in order to survive in our families growing up; reconnecting with our younger parts; being and Eyore; EMDR; mind-stories; unlearning; fear of joy; identifying emotions in the body; small talk; and SO much more. Learn more about Non. Recorded Sept 9, 2020 & Oct 8, 2021. Buy MERCH: www.kyeplant.bandcamp.com SUPPORT via PATREON: www.patreon.com/feelinweird DONATE via Paypal Instagram: @feelinweirdpod Web: www.feelinweird.com Email: feelinweird@gmail.com 

115. Empathy, Jealousy & Believing in Self (w/ Non Wels)

Do you need and/or want someone to listen to and hold space for you as you grieve/feel and reconnect with your body and emotions?  Are you tired of seeing therapists who don't ACTUALLY listen or support you?  Do you want to remember how to feel, how to REALLY exist in your body?  Do you need to grieve generations of pain and sorrow?  I can be that person for you (if it feels right).   I'm opening myself up to seeing people one-on-one in a relational-healing context.  I'm not a therapist/counsellor but I do have a gift for holding space and going deep with people.  I will not give advice, I will not try to fix you; I will support you as best as I can, in a way that actually FEELS supportive to YOU. Sliding scale rates; no one will be turned away who is too poor. Send me an email if you're curious: feelinweird@gmail.com

do you need/want SUPPORT? I can hold SPACE.

At age 18, Greg Washington had the chance to enter the NFL draft and instead chose to serve his country (USA) and go to war.  A few years of combat later, his two best-friends were killed and he was forced home by the military, he found himself drinking daily just to cope with his PTSD and TBI.  He almost killed himself but he had a guardian angel who intervened.  Since then, he's found healing and meaning. We also talk about: complicated grief; the cumulative effects of racism and slavery; loneliness and isolation; wanting to FEEL again; PRESSURE; opening up in a culture that teaches a man to shut down; connected healing; intergenerational trauma; taking care of family; and SO much more. Buy MERCH: www.kyeplant.bandcamp.com SUPPORT Feelin Weird on PATREON: www.patreon.com/feelinweird DONATE via Paypal Instagram: @feelinweirdpod Web: www.feelinweird.com Email: feelinweird@gmail.com 

114. PTSD + War

An audio journal discussing my relationship with coping mechanisms (porn, food, alcohol/drugs, spending money, avoiding, etc.): what they offer me, how they hinder me, and how I've watched them shift. I also talk about: when SOOTHING becomes SELF-HARM; coping mechanisms as SURVIVAL strategies; FEAR of INTIMACY and touch; my Dad's burnout/depression; addiction & bulimia; binge-eating; understanding "I am my parents and I am also not my parents"; the POWER of understanding my emotions; being hard on my self (and learning COMPASSION); identifying STORIES; NOT fixing my self; the gaslighting experience; learning how to BELONG; avoidance; and SO much more! Buy MERCH: www.kyeplant.bandcamp.com SUPPORT Feelin Weird on PATREON: www.patreon.com/feelinweird DONATE via Paypal Instagram: @feelinweirdpod Web: www.feelinweird.com Email: feelinweird@gmail.com 

Shifting Coping Mechanisms (BONUS audio journal)

An anonymous guest was cyberbullied and gaslit by students in his college for an entire year, he shares how this DEEPLY impacted his sense of safety and self! We also discuss: fear of eye contact; understanding trauma response (fight/flight/freeze); the impact of trauma; "I am a failure"; self sabotage; psychosis or gaslighting???; fear of "going crazy"; PTSD; sitting with emotions; coming out after being bullied; intrusive thoughts; and SO much more! Recorded Dec 15, 2020 & Aug 6, 2021. Buy MERCH: www.kyeplant.bandcamp.com SUPPORT Feelin Weird on PATREON: www.patreon.com/feelinweird DONATE via Paypal Instagram: @feelinweirdpod Web: www.feelinweird.com Email: feelinweird@gmail.com 

113. One Year of Gaslighting & Cyberbullying!

James W. Jesso (Adventures Through The Mind) and I discuss the potential of psychedelics for DEEP-healing, the POWER of understanding emotions. and the MAGIC of words. We also discuss: transforming a "BAD TRIP" into a life-changing experience, experiencing "I AM HOME in my body", AFTER the wave of terror, "WHAT IS mental health?", harm reduction, "these are NOT party drugs", context of use, feeling triggered, understanding emotions, being shown DEEP traumas, entheogens & plant medicines, PLUS, I have a CONVERSATION with THE UNIVERSE! James' website: https://www.jameswjesso.com/ Recorded June 8 & July 16, 2021. Buy MERCH: www.kyeplant.bandcamp.com SUPPORT Feelin Weird on PATREON: www.patreon.com/feelinweird DONATE via Paypal Instagram: @feelinweirdpod Web: www.feelinweird.com Email: feelinweird@gmail.com 

112. Psychedelics, Emotions + Language (w/ James W. Jesso)

Conflict is inevitable. My partner, Tuna, joins me to destigmatize conflict within relationships (especially for people with deep attachment wounds and traumas)--to normalize "sometimes it feels really hard to be in relationship (and this is how we find meaning within that)." We also discuss: FEAR of CLOSENESS, intimacy & love; crying together (healing); being HIGHLY sensitive; developing code words and unique language; learning to sit with my feelings before responding or reacting; non-violent communication; creating a world within a relationship; emotional CO-regulation; NEEDING other people; plant medicines; FULLY resolving conflict; taking my armour off, dismantling my walls; repressing needs/feelings; fear of conflict; CREATIVITY & Co-creating; and SO much more! Recorded July 4 & 6 2021. Support Feelin Weird on PATREON: www.patreon.com/feelinweird Buy M E R C H: www.kyeplant.bandcamp.com Donate via PAYPAL: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=FZLGHJJCMWDYJ&source=url Instagram: @feelinweirdpod Web: feelinweird.com Email: feelinweird@gmail.com 

111. Making Meaningful Conflict (w/ Tuna Melt!)

Alex Benbow Carter (artist, musician) and I talk ALL things ANXIETY, depression and CREATIVITY. We also discuss:panic attacks during class presentations;SMALL talk;opening up to strangers;INSOMNIA;challenging relationships with our dads;HOW TO be an adult?;grieving death in family;health-anxiety ("I HAVE CANCER!!!" (except I don't));parent's divorce;finding moments of PEACE;CBT, meditation, being present;trying to avoid conflict;needing to slow my thoughts down;ART and PAIN;General Anxiety Disorder;and SO much more! Alex's IG: @alexbc_art Recorded Sept 25, 2020; June 28&29 2021. Buy MERCH: www.kyeplant.bandcamp.com PATREON: www.patreon.com/feelinweird DONATE via Paypal Instagram: @feelinweirdpod Web: www.feelinweird.com Email: feelinweird@gmail.com 

110. G.A.D.s, Dads; Health Obsession & Depression!

Christina Jumper (Pickles and Vodka podcast) and I question REALITY, spirituality/Christianity, Brene Brown & celebrity WHILE also wondering "is riding a motorcycle meditation for people who need danger to feel safe??" CW: BRIEF mention of suicide. We also discuss: IS THIS A SIMULATION?; TAKING UP sssspppaaaaaccceeee; meditation or "I HATE SITTING STILL!"; RIDING motorcycles and loving it; bulimia; cannabis & psychedelics; learning to DANCE again!; reconnecting to the heart; the damage done by capitalism & religion; being KIND to the self; CYNICISM!; intellectualization as a defense; "celebrities are lost"; self-censorship; reparenting the inner child; believing there is something EVIL inside me; embracing PLAY; taking life less & more seriously; UNLOCKING the door to the meat prison & transforming it into a MEAT palace; and SO much more! Christina's IG: @picklesandvodkapodcast Buy MERCH: www.kyeplant.bandcamp.com PATREON: www.patreon.com/feelinweird DONATE via Paypal Instagram: @feelinweirdpod Web: www.feelinweird.com Email: feelinweird@gmail.com 

109. Unlocking Your MEAT Prison?

Ruth/Haha and I explore a challenging conversation which results in me feeling triggered (listen as we gently resolve it, through non-violent communication, and come back into a really beautiful connection)! We also discuss: playfulness and FUN; DEEP depression; hula-hooping & riding scooters; the fear of upsetting people; wanting SO badly to love and be loved; being KIND; giving advice; advocating for my needs; wearing LOTS of colours; reconnecting with the child self; "is reaction a CHOICE?"; being trans; expressing through clothing/fashion; SHAME; and SO much more! Ruth's IG: @drawn.by.laughing Buy MERCH: www.kyeplant.bandcamp.com PATREON: www.patreon.com/feelinweird DONATE via Paypal Instagram: @feelinweirdpod Web: www.feelinweird.com Email: feelinweird@gmail.com 

108. Feeling Triggered + Having Fun!

In which I discuss WHY I believe that framing my neurodiverse brain and the way I experience the world as a DISORDER, a disability and/or a PROBLEM which NEEDS to BE FIXed is only ONE way to frame it (and is potentially very limiting and dangerous). I discuss: decolonization begins within (how I treat my self and my parts) (decolonizing the self); unlearning and questioning the colonial capitalist mindset; reconnecting my parts; learning love and compassion; CURIOSITY as the polar opposite of shame; and SO much more! This was recorded in response to a listener asking for clarity on what I said about "mental illness is a deep disconnection from the self" in a past audio journal. Recorded May 23, 2021. Buy MERCH: www.kyeplant.bandcamp.com PATREON: www.patreon.com/feelinweird DONATE via Paypal Instagram: @feelinweirdpod Web: www.feelinweird.com Email: feelinweird@gmail.com 

(BONUS) Why I question the concept of "Mental Illness" (and the Western Medical Industry as a whole) (audio journal)

Shayne Dyment returns (episodes 60, 72, 73) on his 2-years-out-of-prison anniversary!  Shayne spent 22 years (a life sentence) in prison for murder, he's finding his meaning and NEW ways to express himself emotionally and artistically! CW: brief talk of violence, murder, childhood sexual abuse. We discuss: BPD + ADHD; the CYCLE of violence & pain; understanding BOUNDARIES; true crime & the FASCINATION with violence & murder; learning to be a NObody; PAIN as a teacher; learning the HARD way; the dark side of celebrity; hitting ROCK bottom; stepping out of the intergenerational cycle of pain by SITTING with the pain and emotions; art, creativity, learning to EXPRESS; finding jobs that FIT our needs; understanding PROJECTIONS; the spiritual AWAKENING found in the prison experience; the desire to FIT in; colonialism, academia, hypocrisy; and SO much more! Shayne's Youtube channel! Recorded Nov 3, 2020. Buy MERCH: www.kyeplant.bandcamp.com PATREON: www.patreon.com/feelinweird DONATE via Paypal Instagram: @feelinweirdpod Web: www.feelinweird.com Email: feelinweird@gmail.com 

107. Prison, BIG feelings + the CYCLE of TRAUMA (w/ Shayne Dyment)

A BONUS audio journal in which I discuss my relationship with the GIANT beaming volcano of LOVE inside of me and how I've been taught to repress it and to feel shame about it (and shame about how I experience the world differently than other people) AND how I'm learning to live authentically and to LET THAT LOVE SHIIIIIINE! Take the mask off, take the armour off, let the love in, let love shine! I also discuss: the PAIN of being alive; disconnection + reconnection with self; autism, small talk, neurodiversity; IMPOSTOR syndrome; climate change, capitalism, colonialism as forces propelled by the disconnection from self and environment; encountering people's FEAR; making AMENDS as an act of LOVE; suicide as a result of hiding myself away; surrender as an act of POWER not weakness; CRYING with someone and REALLY, TRULY connecting; trauma bonding; and SO much more! Recorded April 1, 2021. Buy MERCH: www.kyeplant.bandcamp.com PATREON: www.patreon.com/feelinweird DONATE via Paypal Instagram: @feelinweirdpod Web: www.feelinweird.com Email: feelinweird@gmail.com 

BONUS: On PAIN, LOVE + making amends (audio journal)

Two trans artist people talk about gender, masculinity, + processing and reacting to BIG feelings!  Jared was raised female, I was raised male; neither of us identify with our gender assignment (at birth) and THUS we EACH have a unique take on GENDER. We also discuss: Gandalf as the ideal masculine archetype; reclaiming gender; men wearing skirts; crying A LOT; gender as an expression of self; dissociation & depersonalization; gender dysphoria; puffing up when feeling scared; performing gender; deprogramming binary thinking; SHAME, fear + anger; coming BACK into the body (sitting with emotions); and SO much more! Jared's IG: @eatbadart Support Feelin Weird on PATREON: www.patreon.com/feelinweird Buy M E R C H: www.kyeplant.bandcamp.com Donate via PAYPAL Instagram: @feelinweirdpod Web: feelinweird.com Email: feelinweird@gmail.com 

106. Masc, Trans + big FEELINGS

for access to ALL episodes + BONUS content visit: http://www.patreon.com/feelinweird Conversations about personal taboo and stigmatized subjects such as, mental health (anxiety, depression, adhd, ocd), ptsd, abuse, gender, sexual orientation, addiction, etc. Hosted by Kye Plant.

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Feelin Weird

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