Pat and Sarah wrap up season 2 with the one and only be-nippled Bats in Joel Schumacher’s technicolor nightmare, BATMAN AND ROBIN (1997).   Topics covered: we’re bad at audio, ice puns only, 9/11 baby!, “the good Batman”, sexy plant juice, be-nippled and be-butted, Gotham be lookin’ crazy, weird cuts, sloppy Spencer’s mess, Sarah goes mad, shitty Katherine Hepburn, timely Met Gala references, our show concept is bad 

Futility Belt: A Superhero Rewatch Podcast

Episode 25: Surge on a Wild-Berry Pop Tart (Batman and Robin, 1998)

Pat, Sarah, and a very special guest dive into the dark and stupid world of SPAWN (1997) in this week’s ep.   Topics covered: Stan Lee dunks hard, time travel!, H-E-double-hockey-sticks, super powers + guns = dumb, it’s always crimes, cliché-o-rama, chunky Juggalos, unintelligible Leguizamo, Sheen-aissance, handsome faces, unspecial effects, booby vamps, cops deserve semiautos, Satanic Panic?

Episode 24: John Leguizamo, Look Out! (Spawn, 1997)

Is Sarah capable of starting an episode without saying “We’re back”? Definitely not! But this week the duo is talking about STEEL (1997), starring the finest actor of our generation: Shaq.   Topics covered: the black Superman, Shaq the Renaissance Man, Judd Nelson’s evil face, Sparky v. Lilly, Pat says NO NAPS, the world’s slowest-ticking bomb, Hey! Deadwood!, PLL BABY, crime diversity, magic sledgehammer, finger touchin’, when your best is pretty bad

Episode 23: Of Sparky and Lilly (Steel, 1997)

Pat and Sarah watched THE PHANTOM (1995) which is GOOD, actually, despite whatever Pat says! Don’t listen to him!   Topics covered: open to its pleasures, beefin’ with HDTGM, Jeffery Boam baby!, always never trying to be cool, Destiny mythology, microscope murder, everything but the racism, cum-raderie, Titantic fun facts, as good as the Godfather, dog humor, is the Phantom a superhero?

Episode 22: Billy Zane's So Pretty (The Phantom, 1995)

Pat and Sarah dive into the world of Joel Schumaker with BATMAN FOREVER (1995) and discuss which leaden action star takes the cake: Val Kilmer or Dolph Lundgren? Topics covered: Sno-caps, hidden motivation, horny Vicky Vale, fuck the Batmobile, The Shadow cinematic universe, notes on camp, the Joel Schumaker canon, facts about bats, visual gags, Tommy Lee Jones’s beef, Hot Buns v. Kissy Lips, be-earringed boys

Episode 21: More Facts about Flying Mammals (Batman Forever, 1995)

TANK GIRL Get ready for an actual argument in this episode because Pat and Sarah butt heads after watching TANK GIRL (1995). Who's right and who's wrong? WHO'S TO SAY? Topics covered: Pat’s WRONG, Green Day’s Duckie, Wes Anderson-heads, chockablock with bangers, ye olde male gaze, mockin’ men, the Beavis & Butthead crowd, better than The Crow, grand schemes, is Tank Girl a superhero? 

Episode 20: Pat's Shame Corner (Tank Girl, 1995)

Bust out your Nightmare Before Christmas tees and your safety-pin earrings because things are getting pretty Hot Topic up in here as your hosts talk about THE CROW (1994).   Topics covered: hot Crow merch, Brandon Lee’s death, hot bods, Stone Temple Pilots, it should be Shelly, Alex Proyas cred, sad lonely man guitar, lookin’ like a mime from hell, ‘90s wrestling fans, fuck you Thor is fun, leather daddies

Episode 19: It Should Be Shelly (The Crow, 1994)

Your hosts deviate from comics to talk about the radio play hero THE SHADOW (1994) for fans of all ages from 85 to 95!   Topics covered: your favorite grandpas, what are the rules?, bad wigs, Genghis Khan 2, fuck Einstein, TUBES, potato jowls, low-rent Billie Holiday, David Koepp NO!, charmless & smarmless

Episode 18: The Shadow Knows, Does Pat? (The Shadow, 1994)

Pat and Sarah are lying liars and took an EVEN LONGER break between episodes but now they’re discussing Fantastic Four while slowly losing their minds. This one has jokes in it!   Topics covered: Pat’s busy and Sarah’s sad, the Spider-man vault, charmingly terrible, nonquality quality, the blind are magic, more Marvel movie digs, let’s hate together, Sarah is great at plot synopses, bibs & undies, Pat can stop talking

Episode 17: Podcast Over! (Fantastic Four, 1994)

Pat and Sarah took too long of a break between episodes and forgot how to be funny! Oh no! They still talk about BATMAN: MASK OF THE PHANTASM (1993) though.   Topics covered: Clean pants party, who’s this movie for?, Sarah’s steel trap noodle, Pat forgot how to argue, Sarah gets animated about animation, the Golden Age of children’s animation, yeah wow no jokes in this one, Mark Hamill is the man

Episode 16: We're Not Funny Yet (Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, 1993)

The secretest gadget in our futility belt is here. For two seasons, Pat has been tirelessly removing the verbalized hesitations from our recordings, preserving them for all time in what he calls the "Um Reel." Enjoy, subscribers.

Futility Belt: The Um Reel

Pat and Sarah return to regular episodes with BATMAN RETURNS! Now featuring 50% more FIGHTING.   Topics covered: Charles Dickens’s ghost, aging properties of toxic waste, Blade Runner 2049 is bad, LET’S FIGHT, Penguin vs. Thanos, wow we really fight! dang!, Nathan Drake the Merry Murderer, Christopher Walken’s smooth baby face, Catwoman: The Movie, the horniest Batman, Penguin’s butt crack

Whip Crackin' and Quip Crackin' (Batman Returns: 1992)

Pat and Sarah are back from summer vacation, and they’re ready to kickoff season 2! …But not yet. So this week it’s all about catching up, updates, and a whole reel of bloops for you to giggle at.   Talking points: what we did on our summer vacations, social media manager position available, logging in is hard, shoutout to super fan Will, what’s coming up, now taking suggestions, Pat’s bad segments, previously unheard yelling, words are hard, parachuting budget: $0, FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!, Jenessa with a "C"

The Miguel Ferrer Fancast: Season 1 Bloopers

Pat & Sarah talk shit about Billy Campbell’s chin in THE ROCKETEER (1991) in the final episode of season one. Stay tuned for a special treat at the end.   Topics covered: going for the jugular, 8-year-old Alex, tonal consistency FTW, KiKi at the Witches’ Picnic, character actors are the stars, Terry O’Quinn!, Errol Flynn loves Nazis, Timothy Dalton can get it, low-rent Bruce Campbell, Pat tries to diagram, Disney owns our imaginations, wrapping up season one  

Episode 13: Bill is the Poor Man's Bruce (The Rocketeer, 1991)

Finally! Pat & Sarah talk about Captain America! No, not that one. Not the good one. It’s CAPTAIN AMERICA (1990) and boy, oh boy, is this a ROUGH ONE for our gal & Cap superfan, Sarah.   Talking points: attempted murder, fun-bad vs. bad-bad, Sarah Gorr: Fan Boy, President Ronny Cox, starring Ralphie from A Christmas Story, rubberman, the problem with Bernie, adaptations, who needs establishing shots, Cap is narsty, Witches’ Picnic 2: Assassin City, development hell

Episode 12: Ronny Cox for President (Captain America, 1990)

She loves superhero movies. He used to. Pat Brown and Sarah Gorr break down the modern superhero canon, week by week. They watch everything so you don't have to.

hubhopper

Futility Belt: A Superhero Rewatch Podcast

hubhopper