Wanting to be of service to others, Benjamin decided that a great way to help others be seen, heard, and understood would be to simply listen. And as Benjamin is so fond of saying, “Being heard is so close to being loved that most people can’t tell the difference.” How to Find Out More About Urban Confessional and The Free Listening Movement Urban Confessional Website: www.urbanconfessional.org Twitter: @UCFreeListening Instagram: Urban Confessional Facebook: Urban Confessional Email: urbanconfessional@gmail.com  

Healing the Divide - United and Together

012: Urban Confessional – Benjamin Mathes

Michael and Tom felt a special calling to help people know and feel, in a very practical way, that they are loved, that they matter, and that they are valued. In a time when loneliness and disconnection are on the rise, Michael and Tom, are walking side by side with individuals through some of life’s toughest challenges. How to Contact Michael and Tom Someone To Tell It To Website: someonetotellitto.org More about Michael and Tom Michael Gingerich and Tom Kaden are the co-founders of Someone To Tell It To, a non-profit with the mission of cultivating meaningful relationships through compassionate listening and training others to do the same.  They do this through promoting and practicing compassionate listening and compassionate presence and train individuals, groups, organizations to do the same.  Michael and Tom have written two books together - Someone To Tell It To: Sharing Life’s Journey and Someone To Tell It To: Moved with Compassion.  They have also been published in Red Letter Christians, This I Believe and through the International Listening Association.  They are affiliate members of the International Listening Association and were awarded the Listening in the Business Sector award in 2019.  They co-host their own podcast series also called Someone To Tell It To. Michael is a graduate of Lancaster Theological Seminary and Indiana University of Pennsylvania. He has provided thousands of hours of counseling internationally on all aspects of integrative cancer care, especially the psycho-social and spiritual aspects – in-person, through tele-support groups, Facebook™ and email communications. In addition, he has had essays published in several Chicken Soup for the Soul books. Michael is married to Katherine Walton Gingerich. They are the parents of three sons and the grandfather of five.  They live in Hershey, PA. Tom graduated from Asbury Theological Seminary and Messiah College. He is a gifted communicator and spiritual guide to people of all ages and has an uncanny ability of taking surface level relationships to a much deeper place in a short period of time. He has been published in several Chicken Soup for the Soul books. Tom is married to Sarah Carr Kaden. They have four children and live in Mt. Holly Springs, PA. Books by Michael and Tom

011: Someone To Tell It To – Michael Gingerich and Tom Kaden

My conversation with Graham is filled with practical tips on conversations with family, how to be genuine even in tough situations, and even how to exit a conversation if necessary. One of my favorite tips from Graham for removing the stress we often feel in these difficult conversations is to focus on the person and their experiences more than the issue. How to Contact Graham Email: graham@listenfirstproject.org Twitter: @ListenFirstProj,@USConvoProject Graham's Website: GrahamBodie.com Listen First Website: ListenFirstProject.org National Conversation Website: NationalConversationProject.org More about Graham Graham Bodie is an internationally recognized communication scholar whose work focuses on what all organizations and individuals need to do better, Listen. Based on his extensive knowledge of how individuals and teams can more effectively communicate and build consensus, Dr. Bodie facilitates customized workshops and delivers compelling keynote addresses for groups of all sizes. His work has been funded by the National Science Foundation and featured in the Wall Street Journal, Psychology Today, and on National Public Radio. Dr. Bodie received his B.A. and M.A. from Auburn University and his Ph.D. from Purdue University. He teaches courses in Integrated Marketing Communication at the University of Mississippi and dedicates substantial time to mend our frayed social fabric through his work with the non-profit Listen First Project.

010: Listen First Project – Graham Bodie, Ph.D.

Kamy reminds us that while may not always find common ground, we can realize that people with whom we even vehemently disagree on an issue are not bad people. Our political disagreements do not need to define our friendships and relationships. How to Contact Kamy Email: kakhavan@usc.edu Twitter: @kamyakhavan USC Dornsife - Center for the Political Future Website: dornsife-center-for-political-future.usc.edu ProCon.org Website: ProCon.org More about Kamy Kambiz "Kamy" Akhavan, former CEO of ProCon.org, the nation's leading source of nonpartisan research on controversial issues, now leads the Center for the Political Future at the University of Southern California. As the Executive Director, Kamy oversees the operations of all Center components including the Unruh Institute of Politics, the Fellow's Program, the USC Dornsife/LA Times Poll, and community and global engagement. Kamy avidly writes and speaks on numerous topics including Amplifying the Awesome Power of Debate, Bursting the Echo Chamber, Dialogue Over Division, How to Save Democracy Through Critical Thinking, and Why and How to Teach Controversial Issues in Your Classroom. In addition to those topics, Kamy has moderated debates, served on panels, and provided keynote speeches on marijuana, gun control, immigration, death penalty, physician-assisted suicide, college affordability, and more. Kamy has more than 20 years of experience in bridging divides at national levels. His work has served more than 200 million people, including students at more than 12,000 schools in all 50 states and 100 countries. He has been published and interviewed in textbooks, magazines, television, radio, newspapers, and websites including Reuters, Associated Press, Fox News, ABC, Washington Post, NPR, CNN, and CBS. Kamy was born in Iran, grew up in southern Louisiana, and has lived in California for over 25 years. He holds a BA and MA in History from UCLA.

009: Addressing Tribalism – Kamy Akhavan

Two friends on opposite sides of the aisle provide a practical guide to grace-filled political conversation while challenging readers to put relationship before policy and understanding before argument. Purchase Sarah and Beth's Book: I Think You're Wrong (But I'm Listening) Learn More about Sarah and Beth's Podcast - Pantsuit Politics: pantsuitpoliticsshow.com More about Sarah and Beth Sarah from the Left Sarah Stewart Holland has always had a passion for talking politics. As the creator and cohost of the hit bipartisan political podcast Pantsuit Politics, she has turned that passion into a career. When she's not opining about policy or the latest political firestorm from behind the mic, Sarah serves on the City Commission in her hometown of Paducah, KY, where she lives with her husband and three young sons. Before turning to the mic, Sarah wrote about parenting and politics on her blog bluegrass redhead. Her writing has also been published on the Atlantic, Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, and BlogHer. Sarah received her BA from Transylvania University, and her JD from American University's Washington College of Law in Washington, DC. Beth from the Right Beth Silvers owns and operates Checking In with Beth Silvers, a life and business coaching practice. She has been recognized as one of Ohio's Most Powerful and Influential Women by the Ohio Diversity Council, a Human Resources GameChanger by Workforce Magazine, and one of Cincinnati's Forty Under 40 business leaders. Beth lives in Union with her husband, Chad; daughters Jane and Ellen, and miniature schnauzer, Lucy. She loves people, politics, poetry, and watermelon.

008: I Think You’re Wrong (But I’m Listening) – Sarah Stewart Holland and Beth Silvers

Bob helps us understand the great value in Conflict Resilience — the capacity to be quite uncomfortable and still generously listen to others and authentically share our own viewpoint. How to Contact Bob Website: www.bobbordone.com Email: bob@bobbordone.com Twitter: @bobbordone More about Bob ROBERT C. BORDONE is the Thaddeus R. Beal Clinical Professor of Law at Harvard Law School and the founder of the Harvard Negotiation & Mediation Clinical Program. He teaches several courses at Harvard Law School including the school’s flagship Negotiation Workshop. Bob also teaches in the Harvard Negotiation Institute and the Harvard Program on Negotiation’s Negotiation and Leadership Executive Education seminars. From 2001 through 2005 he was an Adjunct Professor of Law at Georgetown University Law Center. In 2006–2007 he was a Visiting Assistant Professor of Law at Georgetown University Law Center. In 2007, Bob received The Albert Sacks-Paul Freund Teaching Award at Harvard Law School, presented annually to a member of the Harvard Law School faculty for teaching excellence, mentorship of students, and general contributions to the life of the Law School. In 2010 the International Institute for Conflict Prevention and Resolution (CPR) awarded Bob its Problem Solving in the Law School Curriculum Award for his innovative work in creating and building the Harvard Negotiation and Mediation Clinical Program. In 2012, 2013, 2016, and 2017, Bob was selected by the graduating class as one of four Harvard Law School faculty members to deliver a “Last Lecture” to the class prior to graduation. Bob’s research interests include the assessment, reform, design, and implementation of dispute handling systems and developing and testing methods of effective public dialogue on issues that cut to the core of identity, meaning, belonging, and belief. Bob is the co-author of two books: Designing Systems and Processes for Managing Disputes, 2d. Edition (Wolters-Kluwer, 2019) and The Handbook of Dispute Resolution (Jossey-Bass, 2005). The Handbook of Dispute Resolution. He has also published articles in leading dispute resolution journals including the HARVARD NEGOTIATION LAW REVIEW, the OHIO STATE JOURNAL ON DISPUTE RESOLUTION, the JOURNAL OF DISPUTE RESOLUTION, NEGOTIATION BRIEFINGS, DISPUTE RESOLUTION MAGAZINE, and NEGOTIATION JOURNAL. Bob’s writing and commentary have appeared in various print and broadcast media outlets including THE BOSTON GLOBE, THE WASHINGTON POST, THE LOS ANGELES TIMES, THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE, AMERICA, CNN’S Situation Room, and BBC Radio. As a professional facilitator and conflict resolution consultant, Bob works with individual, non-profit, governmental, and corporate clients across many sectors. He specializes in assisting individuals and groups seeking to manage conflicts in highly sensitive, emotional, or difficult situations. His corporate clients have included Premera Blue Cross, Health Net, Gap, Inc., Fidelity Investments, Nestlé, Coca-Cola, Delta Air Lines, Exelon, and Microsoft. In addition, he has worked on projects with nonprofit, educational, governmental and cultural institutions such as the Boston Symphony Orchestra, Massachusetts General Hospital, Dartmouth College, the Swiss Foreign Ministry, the U.S. Department of Justice, the United Way, the International Criminal Court at The Hague, Seeds of Peace, and the Vienna School of Economics and Business Administration. He has also taught negotiation to attorneys at the United States Environmental Protection Agency, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, the National Association of Realtors, and the international law firms of Weil, Gotshal, & Manges, LLP, Freshfields, Braukhaus, & Deringer, Crowell & Moring, LLP, Shearman & Sterling, LLP, and Clifford Chance, LLP. Bob has served on a variety of advisory boards that include the Dartmouth College Center for Social Impact and the Harvard Law School Mediation Program.

007: Conflict Resilience – Robert Bordone

Civic Dinners uses technology to bring diverse perspectives to the table over food and provide structured conversation to build empathy and trust. More about Jenn Jenn Graham is a community organizer, designer and civic tech entrepreneur. She is the Founder and CEO of Civic Dinners, bringing diverse voices together over food for conversations that matter. She is also the founder and CEO of Aha! Strategy, a social innovation design firm working with nonprofits and companies to design issue-based campaigns to drive social change. She combines her design-thinking background with her personal passion for community engagement to help communities build empathy, raise awareness, understanding, and collective action around critical issues from racial equity, to transit, affordable housing and more. Her work has been recognized by President Obama, and has received numerous awards for creative community engagement spanning from the American Planning Association to the Public Relations Society of America. Jenn is a 2019 Center for Civic Innovation Resident and City of Atlanta Women’s Entrepreneurship Initiative 2019 Entrepreneur. She is also a new mother and resides with her Kiwi husband in Atlanta, Georgia. More about Civic Dinners Civic Dinners is in the business of changing hearts and minds in order to create a more inclusive and sustainable world. The platform makes it easy for cities, regions, nonprofits, coalitions, companies and brands to design and scale community conversations on issues that matter. The power of breaking bread helps break down silos, build critical trust and accelerate systems change on critical issues. Over 1,000 Civic Dinners have taken place around the world from Atlanta to New Zealand. Anyone can host or attend, by signing up at civicdinners.com. Website: www.civicdinners.com Facebook: Civic Dinners Instagram: @civicdinners Twitter: @civicdinners Jenn's TEDx Talk - Finding Common Ground Over Food and Conversation

006: Civic Dinners – Jenn Graham

Adrian talks about his work on President Bill Clinton’s Initiative for One America, and gives an honest portrayal of the challenges he has faced in trying to bring people with different viewpoints together to discuss tough issues. More About Adrian Adrian Miller is a food writer, attorney and certified barbecue judge who lives in Denver, CO. He is currently the executive director of the Colorado Council of Churches and, as such, is the first African American and the first layperson to hold that position. Miller previously served as a special assistant to President Bill Clinton and a senior policy analyst for Colorado governor Bill Ritter Jr. He has also been a board member of the Southern Foodways Alliance. Miller’s first book, Soul Food: The Surprising Story of an American Cuisine, One Plate at a Time won the James Beard Foundation Award for Scholarship and Reference in 2014. His second book, The President’s Kitchen Cabinet: The Story of the African Americans Who Have Fed Our First Families, From the Washingtons to the Obamas was published on President's Day, 2017. It was a finalist for a 2018 NAACP Image Award for "Outstanding Literary Work—Non-Fiction," and the 2018 Colorado Book Award for History. Website: www.soulfoodscholar.com Facebook: Soul Food Scholar Fan Page Instagram: @soulfoodscholar Twitter: @soulfoodscholar Soul Food - Order on Adrian's Website                     The President's Kitchen Cabinet - Order on Adrian's Website

005: Racial Reconciliation – Adrian Miller

On August 5, 2012 Pardeep Kaleka’s father was among 6 vicitims killed by a white supremacist in an attack on their temple. Trying to process his feelings of anguish and grief, he reached out to former white supremacist, Arno Michaelis, for answers. Their story is beautifully told in their book, “The Gift of Our Wounds” and in our chat together we’ll hear more about how they are living lives of forgiveness, compassion, and service. The Gift of Our Wounds by Arno Michaelis and Pardeep Singh Kaleka, with Robin Gaby Fisher Booklist’s 2018 Editors’ Choice The Gift of Our Wounds is the powerful story of a friendship between two men—one Sikh and one skinhead—that resulted in an outpouring of love and a mission to cultivate the oneness of humanity. The Gift of Our Wounds Website Serve 2 Unite Website

004: A Former White Supremacist and a Sikh Find Healing After Tragedy

Why did people who previously supported Democratic Presidential candidates vote for President Trump? County Supervisor, Joe Simitian, wanted to find out. So, he visited three counties in three separate states where he spoke with people from all walks of life. As he says, he went to do three things: to listen, to learn, and to understand. His conversations, and more importantly his desire to listen, yielded wonderful results and built connections with people across our great nation. In his interview he also offers practical tips to help us as individuals have these extremely important conversations in our own lives. More About Joe Simitian, County Supervisor, Santa Clara County Joe Simitian is the County Supervisor for the Fifth District of Santa Clara County, representing Palo Alto, Mountain View, Cupertino, Stanford, Los Altos, Los Altos Hills, and Saratoga, along with portions of Sunnyvale and San Jose. He was elected to the Board of Supervisors in 2012 and in June of 2016 was re-elected with 89.4% of the vote. Joe's public service over the years includes stints as a member of the California State Senate, the California State Assembly, Mayor of Palo Alto, President of the Palo Alto School Board, and an earlier term on the Santa Clara County Board of Supervisors. Joe brings to his work a wide-ranging perspective and background -- service at all levels of state and local government; hands-on experience in the private sector, as well as professional education and training particularly applicable to his work in public service. Clara County

003: Listening to Trump’s America – County Supervisor Joe Simitian

Focused on shared values, common ground facts, and truly bi-partisan solutions, The Chisel gives everyone a new way to engage in political discourse on issues important to them. Yes We Agree Website: yesweagree.com Bipartisan Survey: What's Your American Dream  (purchase on their website) TheChisel's new national survey explores all sides of the political debate. And demonstrates something almost unimaginable in 2018. When it comes to our ideals, aspirations, and hopes for America: YES. WE AGREE! TheChisel Website: thechisel.com TheChisel.com is the first and only engagement platform created to help people and institutions with opposing views find common ground and reach agreement. TheChisel builds fact-based, consensus-driven solutions across multiple stakeholder groups. INTRODUCING Chisel Labs! Chisel Labs is an easy-to-use tool to help you—citizens and students alike—build your own local, state, or federal policy initiatives to get public feedback, improve your proposals, garner votes and support, and get your proposals into the hands of decision-makers! Successfully used by teams from American Enterprise Institute + Brookings/Urban Institute; US PIRG + National Taxpayers Union; Take Back our Republic + US PIRG; NRA + Brady Campaign; and many others! More About Deborah Founder & Chief Citizens’ Officer Born in Philadelphia, Deborah Devedjian has been a leader in the global Education and Training industry and an expert in corporate governance—creating, building, investing in, and transforming organizations. Long committed to education and inquiry as the basis for democracy, she weaves together more than 20 years of experiences in the private, public, and not-for-profit sectors to maximize learning, collaborative decision-making, and stakeholder value. She’s served in founding or leadership positions with Copernicus Learning Ventures, Warburg Pincus, RoundTable Partners, European Bank for Reconstruction & Development, and The Boston Consulting Group. Deborah has chaired or served on the executive committee of 20+ not-for-profit boards, including Polytechnic University; Marlboro College; Elwyn, Inc. (for the developmentally challenged); French-American Foundation; Pennsylvania-Russia Business Council; Commission of Independent Colleges and Universities; Harvard Business School Club of New York; and Yale Reunions. She attended public schools, has a BA from Yale and MBA from Harvard, but her father still hopes she’ll go to med school. Fluent in French and Armenian. Amusing in German and Italian. Deborah’s day is not complete without a dose of the Rolling Stones, Beethoven, and Coltrane. Deborah is an independent (small "i"). Her patron saint is Ben Franklin. She excels at “herding cats,” according to one business school dean.

002: TheChisel’s Bipartisan Solutions – Founder of TheChisel Deborah Devedjian

As a holocaust survivor, peace has always been important to Elisabeth. Today she gives us numerous practical tips on how to listen for understanding. Learn 2 Resolve Website: learn2resolve.com Conflict Resolution - The Book Website: conflictresolution-thebook.com Book: Conflict - The Unexpected Gift: Making the most of disputes in life and work (purchase on their website) More About Elisabeth Since 1982, Elisabeth has mediated with individuals and groups to help them reach mutually satisfactory resolutions to their conflicts. In her career she has, together with her business partners, presented communication skills in workshops and seminars related to conflict management, diversity, and violence prevention. Together they have trained board members, managers, and staff to develop and motivate teams and to deal effectively and constructively with disputes that impact productivity and the workplace atmosphere. Elisabeth coaches individuals in productive communication for personal and professional purposes. She has presented at national and international conferences and has published articles relating to conflict resolution. She studied at the University of California at Berkeley and received a B.S. in Education from Boston University. Elisabeth is committed to helping people discover peaceful resolutions to their conflicts.​ Key Moments in Our Conversation 3:00 - Choosing peace as a Holocaust survivor and her mother's influence 5:06 - The Ladder of Assumptions: What is it and how we can use it to resolve conflicts? 11:30 - Listening for deep understanding 15:30 - Four steps that help with deep understanding 20:00 - How is listening valuable if no one's opinion changes? 26:25 - What can you do if a conversation becomes heated?

001: Listening For Understanding – Professional Mediator Elisabeth Seaman

Healing the Divide – United and Together helps people with different opinions have respectful and open conversations about their views. Marilyn Utz, the founder of United and Together, interviews communication experts such as professional mediators, politicians and other groups working on bipartisan solutions, and everyday people who have struggled in their relationships because of the divide in our country.

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Healing the Divide - United and Together

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