We, as a society, are struggling. We have talked about civil rights since at least the Civil War. We quote the Declaration of Independence with Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness, but we put limits on who should be recipients of these rights. We show our biases and bigotry toward others not "like us." Where do biases and bigotry come from? We are not born with biases and bigotry which means that they are taught to us. Biases and bigotry develop in our limbic system where we have to decide to fight, flee, or freeze when we encounter something we don't know or understand. But, unlike animals, we have developed our brain further with the prefrontal lobe where reasoning and logic develop.  But we have to take time to develop that part of our brain. We need others to teach us the path from the limbic system to the prefrontal lobe in order to increase our ability to tolerate and even come to embrace difference.Unfortunately, many children are not provided with the skills to develop their logic and reasoning. They are taught, instead, to fight or flee from "others" who don't match up as the same. This has to change if we are going to see true reform in our society.  We need to add Matthew(22:37-39)  to what we talk about with the Declaration of Independence as we work for a better world.

Helping Challenging Children

Episode 32 Bias & Bigotry Are Not Inborn - They Are Taught

This pandemic has shown that our country is greatly divided. What should be a situation where children see adults model care and compassion for their neighbors, has shown that there are a group of people who don't believe in that, but rather model how to push others around.We need to see if we are being good models of showing love, acceptance and respect to others now and in the future.

Episode 31 Modeling Love, Acceptance & Respect to Children During COVID 19

We are not just struggling with an infectious disease right now. We also also struggling with women, who due to mental health disorders, could very well be drinking alcohol much more often and may also be pregnant. This means that we have a high risk of a surge in the number of babies born with a Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, which will impact their lives and all of society for decades to come.And there are also the individuals who currently have FASD and are struggling due to the significant changes in their lives, the isolation, and the problems they have due to their FASD.Listen and learn.

Episode 30 FASD and COVID 19

Approximately 10% of children will be diagnosed with a learning disability over their lifetime. Learning disorders are considered neurodevelopmental disorders, which means that they are part of the child's wiring at birth. But that doesn't mean that we can't help develop skills even before they show signs. The more we expose children from birth to 5  years of age to language, sounds, books, and hands' on activities, the more their brains learn to process what their senses are experiencing, which will then lay the foundation for academic learning.

Episode 29: Learning Disabilities: Helping the 3 R's

There has been a great deal of talk about how this pandemic is affecting the mental health of those who already struggle with mental health disorders. But it is and will have effects on our children, who don't have the developed frontal and prefrontal lobes to logically process the situation and make future plans.  They need us for this. But how are we doing?Listen to this episode and think about what signs of long term stress which can make you more vulnerable are also being seeing in kids. Let's work to keep the number who develop PTSD down as low as possible.

Episode 28: Children, COVID19 & PTSD

Before the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act there was the Education for All Handicapped Children Act (EHA) from 1975 to 1990. This was enacted while I was in college, which is why I never really had exposure to students with disabilities, especially Down's Syndrome. I have spent my career working with students with all abilities and difficulties but have felt more of a need to advocate for children with Down's Syndrome because they are an endangered segment of our society. Even today there is a push internationally for abortion if a mother is carrying a fetus found to have Trisomy 21. I want to take a moment to celebrate all the achievements these children have given us. Let's not continue to discriminate against them from inception onward, but work to help them show us all that they have to offer. And they have a great deal to offer.

Episode 27 Celebrating Children With Down's Syndrome

These are scary times for all of us. We are unsure of our economic future and our physical and mental health due to the pandemic. As adults we are struggling to remain calm, to use logic to counter the fears that run rampant through our minds.Our children are also struggling, and are many times more fearful because they don't have the maturity of our brains and the experiences where things have gone wrong but later got back to normal, or a new normal. They reach out to us to provide the sense of safety that we will all get through this.But some of what they need is physical contact, hugs, snuggles, a loving touch, sharing your bed at night, which is the scariest time of all. We need to be here for them, and realize that if we have been practicing physical distancing from others we and our kids can safely get physically closer. That sharing of physical closeness can help us all, so don't be afraid to share with your kids.

Helping Our Children When They Need To Be Close

Right about now many families are getting very tired of being in close quarters with their children. Many things are getting on the parents nerves, especially actions which their children are doing which feel like intentional behavioral actions.But, this may be a good time to sit back and observe as a scientist would, to objectively watch as the child goes about his activities, or as you try to get him to do some school work. As your child works, do these behaviors begin to show up, despite your child looking like he is still focusing on the task at hand?Learn more about motor movement problems and tics, so that you can be supportive of your child if indeed you find that these motor movements are not intentional, but rather, neurologic.

Episode 25 Behaviors, Tics, or Motor Movement Problems

Fears and phobias are very common in children due to the fact that their brain is managed by the limbic system and that they have had very few life experiences to help them cope with the novel or unknown.Learn about how to help children with fear and phobias so that they can have better days.

Lions & Tigers & Bears - Fears and Phobias in Childen

Anxiety disorders are not a grown up disorder. They actually begin in childhood with 4-20% having a diagnosed disorder, depending on which disorders are being looked at. There is also an equal number who don't make it to the disorder level, but still struggle with anxiety in different situations.Learn how to help these children so that they have more skills as they get older and may not be as at risk for grown-up anxiety disorders.

Episode 23: Anxiety - The Bully In The Brain

Over my 30+ years of working with challenging children, I have experienced a number of situations where my "challenging child" was seen as the bully, when in reality it was the other child who set up the situation in order to get my child in trouble. Check out this episode to learn how to help challenging children who feel like they have limited options on how to respond to other children picking on them.

Episode 22: When The Bully Is The Victim

Cabin fever comes quickly to children who are temperamentally high activity level or who have been diagnosed with ADHD. They have rapid increases in internal energy which must come out before they - and you - explode.Here are a few ideas of how you can help your child.

Episode 21: Managing High Energy/Activity Levels in Times of Social Distancing

When evaluating children for problems, parents and teachers are often asked to fill out questionnaires and checklists. These can be very valuable, but checklists may not give the entire answer due to the nature of the statements which the adults are asked to agree or disagree with.When looking at children it is important to look at the 3 components that make them up; temperamentbiology (or neurodevelopmental disorders)environment (how their world affects their development and behavior)Check out this episode to learn more.You can also learn more about these 3 components of children through my mini-course, Never Assume: Knowing Children Before Labeling Them which can be purchased at https://www.helpingchallengingchildren.online/offers/Baep8fG2/checkout

Episode 20: Understanding the Children Behind the Checklist

When we talk to children we expect them to be able to understand and hold on to the total of the information which we are sharing with them. With one child in six, however, who have neurodevelopmental disorders, this is often not the case.If you want your child to be successful at responding or reacting to what you are saying, you need to understand how to communicate effectively with him. Learn more with this episode.

Episode 19: Speaking So Kids Can Succeed

There is the mistake belief by some people that respect is to be given to them simply because of a title they may have, such as parent, teacher, or President. While these titles may suggest that these individuals may deserve the consideration of respect because of what they have done to achieve those titles, it is not simply the title that is being evaluated.Children don't automatically know how to "show respect". They do know that they want to be loved, accepted, and respected as being worthy of life. But they can't list the behaviors which will show respect, rather just knowing when it feels right. But, if the adults around them never model respect, to the children or others, children will not be able to develop the ability to show respect to those who deserve it. They may think that only those who put others down are deserving of respect because they show "power".This is not what we want our children to learn and believe.  Check out this podcast to learn more.

Episode 18: Respect: You Must Give in Order To Receive

Welcome to this new podcast which focuses on helping parents and adults survive and thrive with challenging children.My name is Dr. Pat McGuire. I am a developmental & behavioral pediatrician who, over the last 30+ years has worked with more than 3000 children and their families, in order to create positive, healthy families. Our society is realizing that raising children to be healthy, happy, and productive adults is more challenging than originally thought. We are seeing the effects of toxic stress on the integrity of families and in the physical and mental health outcomes of children.This podcast will look at a variety of topics which will help parents and professionals rethink how they see and respond or react to children and adolescents. I will challenge many adults to consider how they decided to interact with children and if it was based on sound developmental knowledge, or a history of "That's the way it has always been."

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Helping Challenging Children

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