Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is an LDS relationship and sexuality therapist, counselor and coach who joins Heidi for a conversation about confidence. They discuss how to acknowledge and own our imperfections, understanding our identity and how our children learn to be confident in their sexuality by watching their parents. Listen as they share their own experiences raising teens and share their own insecurities.

Hi, This Is Heidi

Ep. 105 Confidence and Sexuality with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

We're hardest on ourselves. We expect perfection, no mistakes, zero flaws, 100 on every test... so we're constantly disappointing our inner selves. Our insides have forgotten we're human and full of cracks, weaknesses and missteps. Learning to see our real human nature and give ourselves grace is our work. It's the work of building confidence to be flawed AND amazing AND loved... all at the same time. Listen as Heidi shares several examples of how she found grace and how you can turn judgement into grace!

Ep. 104 Giving Ourselves Grace

One of the best ways to grow our confidence and build relationships is by learning how to be admit and be "wrong" when we are wrong. Our brain on default always wants to be right to protect our ego but this keeps us small and insecure. Listen as Heidi teaches the dangers of always needing to be "right" and questions to ask ourselves to see where we could be "wrong". Heidi gives many examples from her own life and helps us rewrite the subconscious thought that we're always right. Turns out... learning to be wrong is a more "right" way to live and feel better!

Ep. 103 Being Wrong

The fuel of change and growth is self-confidence, and to create this we need to know how to pivot from insecurity... to confidence... to self-confidence. Confidence looks to the past to what "have" I done in the past, where self-confidence looks to the future to define "who we want to be". Listen as Heidi teaches you two questions to ask yourself (what do I fear and who do I want to be) to move from insecurity... to confidence... to self-confidence.

Ep. 102 Creating Self-Confidence

In 1859, miners who had struck gold drown in the Royal Charter storm because they weighed their pockets and coats with gold to swim to shore. We have thoughts and beliefs that become like this gold - valuable in other situations - but the reason we drown and can't reach shore in life. Listen as Heidi gives many examples of thoughts that can be valuable at times... and can also be drowning thoughts suffocating us from peace. Learn how to learn drop these thoughts to live lighter and be on confident solid ground.

Ep. 101 Drowning Thoughts

Sending a child off to college usually produces a lot of worry and stress for parents. All of the sudden we know so much less about what is going on for our child's life so, if left unmanaged, our brains will spiral and ruminate in this worry. Worry creates much unneeded negativity in our life which we project onto our children, feeding their own anxieties. Listen as Heidi teaches why worry SEEMS necessary and three simple tools to re-direct your brain to minimize worry.

Ep. 100 Tools To Manage Worry When Sending Child to College

Fear and hope are both motivators - we DO or DON'T do things from these emotions. Fear, though, keeps us stuck and is filled with scarcity, doubt and insecurity. Hope is a more anchored and confident emotion. Its important to know which emotion we are projecting to our teenagers because they will sense and absorb this energy. Learn the Fear or Hope anchoring tools that Heidi uses with clients to pivot them from insecurity to confidence.

Ep 99 Anchoring Tool: Fear or Hope

Anger and the power it pretends to give us seems useful, but it rarely is. Anger is an escalated emotion coming from fear and other vulnerable emotions. When unchecked, our anger hurts us and our relationships. Listen as Heidi teaches you how to dismantle your anger, identify your fears, decide which anger is useful and re-anchor yourself to be the person you really want to be. Learn the exact tools to keep yourself off the emotional rollercoasters others around you are on.

Ep. 98 Anger and Masking Vulnerabilities

It sounds like a lovely thought - to want everyone to be happy - but this desire and thought can end up being a toxic thought that creates negativity and stress in us, if left unchecked. This thought then fuels us to emotionally gaslight other people by telling them they "shouldn't" be sad or having their negative emotional experience, instead of just SEEing other people and validating their emotions. Listen to hear how Heidi explains the possible dangers of this thought and how to anchor our emotions to create connections with others.

Ep. 97 Wanting Everyone To Be Happy

"What's the difference between a life coach and a therapy" is a common question. Both professions help people improve their mental wellness, but there are very specific differences between a coach and a therapist. Both have unique tools in their toolbox and focus on different areas of our brain and life. Listen as Heidi teaches how this relates to coaches and therapists for sports teams and athletes who may be injured and this who want to improve their play in the "game".

Ep. 96 Life Coaching vs. Therapy

We interpret someone making eye contact, smiling, introducing themselves, being willing to have difficult conversations as those coming from confidence. When we're trying to develop our own confidence, it is useful to visualize what other confidence people DO, what they SAY and then visualize ourselves doing the same. Listen as Heidi walks through several situations and examples of what confidence looks like. Just one new confident act reinforced to your brain that you ARE a confidence person.

Ep. 95 What Confidence Looks Like

Listen as Heidi explains about the background of her Lighten Up private membership for Mothers of Teenagers who want to gain more confidence and peace that they are making the right choices for their families. Lighten Up is for women who want less emotional and physical weight and want to feel more anchored in their self-esteem, emotions, and confidence. Click below to learn more and join as a founding member. https://heidibenjaminsen.mykajabi.com/lighten-up-sign-up

Ep. 94 Lighten Up

While it feels good to have other people support us when we face obstacles, are weak and need help, it feels BETTER when we know WE can be that support to ourselves. We have a deep inner grounding when we know WE have the ability to have our own back. Listen as Heidi gives several examples of what this looks like in our lives and the ripple effects of building our inner confidence and strength.

Ep. 93 Having Our Own Back

The more uncomfortable emotions we are willing to feel in our life, the more growth we will experience. Handling uncomfortable conversations and situations builds confident, solid and respectful relationships with other people - but it starts with having our own solid self-confidence. Listen as Heidi gives examples of how to manage our thoughts and emotions to feel the discomfort and learn WHY this is such an important emotional skill.

Ep. 92 Discomfort Tolerance

We all have a space in our mind and body where we can pause, identify our emotions and thoughts and then choose how we want to respond. Achieving our goals requires us to learn how to pause and create specific emotions. In this episode Heidi explains a tool called The Why Pause that helps clients learn to shift their default emotions to more useful emotions by using their why's or reasons for setting the goals. Listen as Heidi explains many examples of how to use this simple, yet profound tool.

Ep. 91 The Why Pause

Certified Life Coach Heidi Benjaminsen shares tools, tips and stories to help you create confidence and live a happier and more fulfilled life. Deliberately choosing what you want to think and believe about yourself is the secret. You can create anything in your life if you believe you can. So why not believe your worth is infinite and your dreams are actually achievable? The world needs you to shine, sparkle and share your talents. No more hiding from your destiny! Let's do this!

hubhopper

Hi, This Is Heidi

hubhopper