No one and nothing should ever define your outward or inner beauty. You are so unique in every way that there is no comparison !

Hilda's Shoulder

The Beauty Within You

So much premium is placed on looks by especially social media that there is a tendency for women to feel inadequate. Women should de- emphasise the gravity of social media and society's " you look good" and open their eyes to see the beauty that is more than skin deep.

Beauty from within

Africa is mostly patrilinral.Its a man's world in many respects. This podcast is about the habit of some Naija men and the manner in which they critise or talk down on their partners when others are present- worse stil,is if the "others" are their children.

Naija men & public criticisn

Partners or spouses might not be able to fill the void of our Love tank.Only in loving ourselves completely can we truly give and receive Love.

Loving yourself!

Being a partner or spouse shouldnt be a chore or a "shift" The little spaces in between a relationship actually forestall boredom and monotony.Partners / Spouses get to remember what made them get together in the first place when there periods of being away from each other.

Relationships and Space Pt 2

The expectations that the Naija women should "blend- in" with her partner or spouse and remain blended -in leads to a monotony in the relationship or marriage. "Me time" is almost non existent not to talk of "space". Sadly,it is this much needed space that brings newness and vibrance into the relationship.

Relationships and Space

This episode is a special for women in the diaspora who are dating or married to Nigerian men.I discuss a few tit bits to help you understand how best to navigate your boyfriend (if you have intentions to get married) or husband regarding his relatives and what is expected of you. The more interested you are in learning and blending with the “Nigerian vibe and culture” the more you will be loved and accepted.

Dating / Married to a Naija Man (A special for women abroad)

Talking about being with someone or being married to them means amongst others ,understanding where they are coming from . Childhood experiences make their mark on people. When the experience is bad - abusive the effects continue into adulthood. The negative words / abuse by parents become a jury and executioner in the lives of children and which metamorphosis culminates into mental health illnesses. This podcast is also to encourage you to get professional help if you have suffered abuse from your parent(s) or anyone else.

Mom n Dad My first Bullies

A typical Naija “Omo Mummy” was raised to be conservative especially concerning the opposite sex. Her Mother drummed it in her ears not to be in a hurry to have sex with a new guy. She grows up trying to keep it together. Are there time lines? How long after starting a new relationship should she give it up? Listen my guest and I discuss it.

How soon is too soon to have sex?

For some men the mention of the period is a turn off.Some of them don’t let their women cook or sleep with them on the same bed. For some women they feel a sense of shame and are very secretive about their periods. Loving a woman means loving her warts and all and distancing yourself from her because she is in her period.

Relationships and her period

Money can be a touchy subject for couples dating. Our culture vests the responsibility of spending on the man. As we become more modern, has this expectation changed? Do Naija boyfriends have financial expectations of their girlfriends? Listen to our banter and let me know what your views are.

How money affects relationships

It’s fiction to base the expectations of what you think will be a perfect spouse based on how well you synch or connect.

Synching with your spouse

Introspection and assessment of all our relationships is key in order for us to reach our personal goals. Sometimes we may the cause of the continuous downward spiral in our relationships or marriages.Sometimes we need professional help.Sometimes breaking up or getting seperated or divorced is the only way out.

Relationship &Marriage this end of year

Vicarious shame is hurled on the shoulders of single matured women, separated women and most especially Divorced Women in Nigeria.Living under toxic shame compromises our feeling of self worth and mental health. Living with shame doesn’t stop at us. If women do not take care, the shame will be inherited by our children. Naija Woman who is Divorced, your true wonderful self lies beneath. Be who you were meant to be! Get professional help if you need to! Live life!

Divorced Naija Women & Shame

Welcome to Hildas Shoulder Pod cast.I hope this helps your confusion and makes your relationship/marriage better!

hubhopper

Hilda's Shoulder

hubhopper