In 1997, Vincenzo Natali released the Canadian indie flick, Cube. Cube tells the story of a group of strangers who wake up inside a giant cube with traps scattered throughout. The group must manage personalities and traps as they try to solve the puzzle and escape the dreaded Cube. This flick had a small budget and a small set but big dreams which were realized by making $9 million from a $350,000 budget and by attaining a cult following and even has two current remakes planned in both the US and Japan. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate overacting, bad Murtaugh impressions, and depression’s bad timing as we try to see if this one has dimension or if it’s a square.

Hold Up

Cube (1997)

In 1996, Wes Craven released Scream, a return to the Horror genre for which he became famous. Scream tells the story of Sidney Prescott who becomes the target of a vicious ghost-faced killer or, Ghostface, to his friends. This happens a year after her mother was killed, and while she has already identified her mother's murderer, a new killer raises doubt and questions as people continue to get divorced from their guts. Scream featured a big cast of young talent including, Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, David Arquette, Drew Barrymore, Matthew Lillard, Skeet Ulrich, and Rose McGowan. Scream made an amazing $173 million in the box office off a $15 million budget while bringing the slasher back to the mainstream and became an instant classic. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss proper murder planning and running around in a robe and mask as we try to decide if this one is a screamer or a yawn. 

Scream

First of all, who wouldn’t feel honoured to be Satan’s choice to mother his child? He could have pretty much anyone and he chooses me? I get to be Satan’s special girl? Hard to turn that down. He’s a total catch; famous, powerful, probably rich, has his own place, and those eyes... Anywho, this week we are talking about Polanski’s ’68 thriller/horror Rosemary’s Baby. The story of a woman who suspects her husband has sold her out to a witch's coven in order to have the Devil’s child. Starring Mia Farrow, John Cassavetes, and Charles Grodin’s debut, this icon of the horror genre made $33 million from a $3 million budget and was cemented in history as a classic. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate orgies for the elderly and troubles with cult enrollment as we try to decide if this one should be carried to term or aborted.

Rosemary‘s Baby

You love road trips, we love road trips, everyone loves road trips, right? Well not the Hoover family, as they pack it into their VW Microbus and travel from New Mexico to California in 2006’s Little Miss Sunshine. Richard (Greg Kinnear), Sheryl (Toni Collette), Dwayne (Paul Dano), and Grandpa (Alan Arkin), and Olive (Abigail Breslin) are the Hoovers, a modest family with a penchant for the dramatic. After Sheryl’s brother Frank (Carell) tries to kill himself following a personal and professional tragedy, the Hoovers agree to take him in. But when Olive learns that she is a finalist in the Little Miss Sunshine pageant, the entire family knows they have to do what it takes to get her there to let her live her dreams. Alan Arkin and writer Michael Arndt won Oscars for their efforts, and Little Miss Sunshine went on to make over $100M on an $8M budget. But does it hold up? Listen as Jon, Colin and Brent debate micro-dosing with heroin and creepy as fuck child pageants as they see if this movie deserves a first-place prize, or if it should be left in the trunk wrapped in a sheet until we can figure out what to do with the rest of our lives.

Little Miss Sunshine

Have you ever wanted to spend time on The Lonely Island with a stunt man who gets beat up by his dad on a daily basis while preparing for an insane stunt that will save his dad so he can beat his dad to death? Oh, you have? Then you'll fit right into the 2007 comedy film Hot Rod. Hot Rod follows Rod as he...well, read the first sentence again. Starring Andy Samberg, Isla Fisher, Jorma Taccone, Bill Hader, Danny McBride, Sissy Spacek, Ian McShane, Will Arnett, and Chris Parnell, Hot Rod was pretty much a bust in the box office, but picked up steam in the rental and DVD market, barely turning a profit. Listen as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss surreal humour, girl next door love stories, and punch dancing to see if this movie's rod is hot, or if it should just crash and blow up in front of a live audience.

Hot Rod

You ever been sitting at home and wonder to yourself; I wonder if it’s possible to combine the horrible esthetic and bigotry of the 80’s with really shitty dance? Nope, and neither should anyone else. Enter stage left, Ren, who moves to the small town of Bomont with his ma to live with his uncle and aunt because shit must have been horrible in Chicago. Ren is a hip city kid who likes to dance but dancing is banned in Bomont so Ren finds himself on a mission to change the minds of the town and bang the Reverend's daughter. Will the Reverend see the error of his ways? Will the kids dance? Will Ren get a haircut? Are you still reading this? Starring Kevin Bacon, John Lithgow, Dianne Wiest, and Lori Singer, Footloose laid a cultural footprint and became a classic. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss homoerotic subtext and not sticking your dick in crazy as we try to decide if this is more footloose or footnoose.

Footloose (1984)

If you are in a dark place then today’s flick will be right up your alley. In a world where genetics is the biggest factor being considered for your future, how do you achieve your dreams of being the meat filling in a giant metal space missile if they only take the very best and greatest eugenics has to offer? Well, you steal an identity and get your legs stretched and begin the very difficult work of being awesome while also trying to evade capture and being the prime suspect in a murder case while boinking a hot refurb model of biological semi-perfectionism. Welcome to Gattaca, the sci-fi dystopian something or other featuring Ethan Hawke, Uma (she should go to one name), Alan Arkin, Ernest Borgnine, and the young pope. This was not a box office winner but was critically celebrated when it came out. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent wonder if Ethan Hawke had dick surgery while we try to determine if this one was made perfect or has a face only its mother could love.

Gattaca

A long time ago in a trailer park not so far away, Alex Rogan broke the top score on an arcade game called “Starfighter.” Little does he know his high score sets in motion a chain of events where an alien race will recruit him to defend the “the Frontier” from the evil Xur and the Kodan Armada in a space battle.  He gets picked up in what will later become the Jonny cab in Total Recall, by an alien named Centauri, who is dressed like a 1950’s dime store detective for some reason. He’s must leave his hard-working mother, sexually charged would-be girlfriend and the rest of the trailer park behind when he decides to take off for a much-needed adventure. After the space base where Alex meets all the other weird and wild alien starfighters is blow-up, he becomes the Frontiers only hope for survival. The movie was the first to try and seamlessly blend CGI special effects with real-life and ended up with mixed results. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent talk about guilt tripping would-be heroes into doing things they don't want to and see if this is the last time we watch this starfighter, or if the 10 minute trip to Rylos to bang bald chicks is worth the trouble. 

The Last Starfighter

A long time ago in a North America that now seems very far far away, Richie Cunningham became a director and filmed a couple of Irish corkers as they take a trip across the pond to take a shot at finding land and a new life while accidentally stepping in some love along the way. Well, the two corkers are Tom “I’m totally not a hostage of a huge cult” Cruise and Nicole “Thank God I got a divorce from Tom when I did” Kidman who are joined alongside Thomas Gibson, Robert Prosky, and Cyril Cusack to bring together Ron “stop calling me Richie Cunningham” Howard’s, Far and Away. A film that brought home modest earnings and even more modest reviews but found a home in our hearts anyways. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate fisticuffs technique and proper Irish accents as we try to decide if this one was a corker or a filthy leprechaun's taint.

Far and Away

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be an incredibly successful and bigoted mentally ill man on the wrong side of 50? Mark Andrus and James L. Brooks (yes that one) did and then figured that they would make the foundation of a nice love story. Here’s the recipe, one dash old bigoted white guy, a splash of gay neighbour, a cup of sick kid, and a pint of Helen Hunt. Bake for 139 minutes and you have the award-winning classic, As Good As It Gets. AGAIG won Oscars for Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt, but also features fantastic performances by Greg Kinnear, Cuba Gooding Jr. and then Skeet Ulrich shows up this one time. Made for $50 million AGAIG pulled in a massive $314 million in the box office and won 2 of 7 Oscar nods. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent wonder how much money it would take to let Jack Nicholson thrust his sweaty walrus body on top of us as we try to figure out if this flick is as good as it got, or if it needs to get got.

As Good As It Gets

It’s 1963, you are a horny young woman on vacation with your family in a stale lakeside resort intended to entertain uptight yuppies in a way that would barely entertain your blind grandma. You see a handsome young man wearing his jeans concerningly high and you gush a noticeable puddle on the wood floor of the cabana. You must know him. You find out his partner has come down with an awful case of the pregnancy and you decide to help by borrowing a large sum from your aloof father so she can get a roadside coathangering. It all goes wrong but you fall in love with the twink with the nipple-high slacks and decide to help them perform a dance routine. It fails but your love persists. Your dad is angry, the girl mortally ill, the boy’s nipples chafed. Things are about to get dirty… Welcome to 1987’s dirty dancing directed by Emile Ardolino and starring Jennifer Grey, Patrick Swayze, and Jerry Orbach. This flick made a foot-stomping $214 million dollars from a $4.5 budget and even won an academy award for a song in here. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss cuckolds and putting babies in corners as we figure out if this one is a successful lift or a roadside abortion.

Dirty Dancing

In 2009, Disney and Pixar changed the course of animated movies forever with comedy-adventure flick, Up. Up shares the story of Carl Fredricksen, a curmudgeon widower who is holding on to memories of his recently passed wife by holding out on selling the home they met in and shared for many years. After it becomes clear that there is no stopping progress, Carl turns his house into an airship using a whole lotta balloons, and unwittingly takes Russell the Wilderness Explorer with him. Carl and Russell befriend a bird and a talking dog, but soon find that meeting your childhood hero may not be all they are cracked up to be. Spending over 5 years in development, Up both a critical and commercial success, grossing $735M off of a substantial $175M budget, winning Academy Awards for Animated Feature and Original Score. But does it hold up? Listen as Jon, Colin and Brent debate grumpy old men, overnight trips to other continents, and talking dogs as we see if adventure is out there, or if we should stay home and yell at hippies all day.

Up (2009)

In 1986, Director Michael Ritchie followed up Fletch, starring Chevy Chase, with The Golden Child, starring Eddie Murphy. So sayeth The Golden Child, every 1000 years, a golden child is born, but some people can't have nice things, and when ne'er-do-wellers set their mind to it, they can evil the shit out of any golden situation. And so we find Sardo Numspa kidnapping and attempting to murder a poor little boy (played by a little girl), and Chandler Jarrell (Murphy) and Kee Nang (Charlotte Lewis) must set out to rescue the child and see how well sunlight shines into basements. The Golden Child made $150M off of a $25M budget but was met with skepticism by non-believers and pretty much everyone else too. As such, while Ritchie's Fletch was to be followed up by Fletch Lives, there was not quite as much outcry for The Golden Child 2: The Golden God. But does it hold up? Listen as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate Claymation, Eddie Murphy's charm, and the good guy's decision to retrieve the Ajanti Dagger in the first place, and see if this one is a golden good time or a giant pile of shit made of fool's gold.

The Golden Child

The end was nigh in 1979 when Francis Ford Coppola released his epic Vietnam mind fuck, Apocalypse Now. Featuring Martin Sheen as Captain Willard, a man who is given a mission to travel up the Nung River to assassinate a rogue Colonel Kurtz, played by Marlon Brando. Apocalypse Now’s cast is peppered with talent beyond the two heavyweights previously mentioned including, Laurence Fishburne, Harrison Ford, Robert Duvall, and Dennis Hopper. Noted for its wild and tumultuous filming, Apocalypse Now ended up becoming a classic and winning a number of awards. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate the horror and the smell of victory as we determine if this one is apocalypse now or never.

Apocalypse Now

In 2001, the chick flick got a makeover when Paul Feig released his raunchy r-rated comedy, Bridesmaids. Bridesmaids tells us the story of a down on her luck woman approaching middle age who must work through her insecurities after her best friend gets engaged and her friendship and identity become threatened. Featuring an all-killer cast including Kristen Wiig (also a co-writer), Maya Rudolph, Rose Byrne, Melissa McCarthy, Chris O’Dowd, Jon Hamm, Rebel Wilson, Ellie Kemper, and Wendi McLendon-Covey, Bridesmaids was in no short supply of talent, made $288 million off of a $32 million budget, and even secured two Oscar nods. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent, debate the proper Xanax to scotch ratio as we decide if this flick deserves a spot at the head table, or if it is no better than shit in the street.

Bridesmaids

We review movies from long ago and not so long ago to see if they hold up. Check us out on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/holdup_podcast/ Thanks to M4N1AC for our theme song, Desperation.

hubhopper

Hold Up

hubhopper