When an infant cries over a broken clay toy, we smile affectionately at the silliness; when a child raises hell over separation with a friend owing to change of school/city, we smile and cajole them out of it; when a young one nags over a new toy or candy, we convince them out of it by all means. We all act so grown up, wise and pragmatic in such situations but fail miserably when facing the same. As we age, our ego builds a false notion of value importance for various things people we are interested in. If only we d instill the same knowledge given taken in our childhood, lifewould be much more sorted. We would nt cry, fight or be depressed for some acquisition and separation of our beloved ones for whatever reason it may have occurred. We struggle all the time to gain what we dont have already or was ours once, but rarely appreciate fully or be grateful to the universal giver.It is comprehensible when a child acts like this but not when grown ups do. The primary most important reason is what we have failed to understand utterly that life everything which comes with it, is a debt on us. We owe it to something/someone we dont know, dont understand and unfortunately dont care. Nothing here is ours and no matter what claims we may prove over someone or something, it wont become ours.The first thing that strikes me is the end of life, how its unsure and not in our hands. So all the things at our disposal and things that we may gain access to eventually, by acquiring them somehow or the other, are with us for an uncertain amount of time. We are all born in varied circumstances, financial condition, family members, location, religion, weather, health, etc. We cannot determine any of these for ourselves and nor can anybody else. They are pre-ordained. If we look around, various children are born with certain disabilities ailments. But most of us have been gifted with almost perfect senses to experience this world. Are we really ever grateful for that? We have eyes, ears, tongue, nose, face, arms, legs, mind, brain, etc. The very basic essentials to live life. They are all taken for granted to be our rightful property.We all have been given so much but we fail to even acknowledge the courtesy. If someone dear to us is sick, disabled, hurt or dead, we cry over it, get sad or depressed. If any of our precious belonging/acquisition gets lost, damaged, stolen or taken against our will, we crave it like anything and almost like our life depends on it. If someone snatches our status, post or insults us in some way damaging our position amongst our peers, society, workplace, etc. basically hurting our ego, its such a devastating experience. Why is it that we are so oblivious to the fact that none of it is ours. It is been given to us or made available to us. Even we have acquired or build something over time with efforts, remember the time, efficiency talent was not originally ours. We are just temporary caretakers with certain perks.There is a owner of everything we perceive knowingly or unknowingly, things we are aware of yet or not. His system is very intricate, immaculate and flawless. Just because we dont know it, doesnt mean it doesnt exist and just because we dont understand it, doesnt mean its flawed. The nature and all its beings features are in perfect sync bound by a certain law pattern governed by the owner.We all must spend some time to express our gratitude someway or the other, by praising the giver/owner in our hearts, by contributing means at our disposal to those who dont have, doing selfless service of any kind to those in need and most of all spread his kindness, love generosity to everybody we come across with equanimity. Otherwise its a disastrous waste to die eventually with a narrow mind and selfish attitude.

Journals

Life is a debt!

Even though we are always looking for what we seek knowingly and unknowingly, we cant see it. The most profound and evident feelings, emotions and experience cant be seen with our naked eyes. It requires delving inside. We all have felt at some point ecstatic joy & happiness. It doesnt matter what was its triggering cause as the source always remains in our heart. Whether it is a warm embrace of our beloved one, excessive sensory pleasure, affection from your mother, holding your child, etc. We tend to close our eyes to let it engulf our very existence for that moment, to savour it fully. Even something that hasnt got anything to do with emotions like a perfect breeze, we have to close our eyes to cherish it. Its an involuntary action. As these are some of the most beautiful moments of our life and our eyes arent required to see them. We keep looking to increasingly experience such joy or enhance it but cant see it anywhere. It just happens when it has to happen.If only one could identify the exact location of the rise and dissolve of this wonderful feeling that emanates in our heart, we wouldnt be dependent for its trigger. May be even hold on to it for as long as we want or have a constant flow.After a long day of hard work, wasted time, dream coming true or any other circumstances, it has to end the same as every other day. We lie down and close our eyes to sleep. Whether its joy or sadness, whether you want it to pass away or hold to it forever. The strength to accept the inevitable tragedy or joy of success that we have craved for the longest time. It has to be processed with our eyes closed eventually. When you are praying with all your faith and devotion, you close your eyes. All the important instances that occur in our life are only seen with closed eyes.We derive our strength to look forward to what each day brings by not looking. The clarity to see things in their right light comes from not looking. It is considered the worst kind of torture for any human when they are not allowed to sleep for more than 72 hours. As those few hours of not looking every night during our sleep is essential for existence. Else it drives us insane.If you want to expand your potential, gain clarity towards the purpose of your endeavors, get answers to inexplicable questions and instances, ultimately experience limitless peace & love, you just have to consciously close your eyes, to be at complete rest. Its the epicenter of answers to so many mysteries, most of which subconsciously plague us through out our lives. Its the ultimate door we need to enter to cater to all our needs of Safety, Love and belonging, Esteem and self-actualization.When we look at it literally then there is nothing to be found. As without any objectivity we dont know what to relate with or begin with. One has to be a lateral thinker to take this chance, be at a saturation of craving, exasperated with the fleetingness of things. Its like a journey in uncharted planes with nothing at your disposal, full of uncertainity but no fear to losing anything.What we see may not necessarily be real and we cant see yet doesnt imply;  it cant be real. 

you can't see if you always keep looking

You can only taste one dish at a time, enjoy one song at a time, cherish one scenery at a time, fully be with one person at a time. We do like many things of multitude tastes and preferences but only enjoy one at a time. Even if you try to eat your favorite food while watching your favorite television series, try to observe sharply that the moment your focus moves to the screen the taste vanishes and the moment you are engulfed in the taste in your mouth you lose the context of the display on screen. But the shuffle happens very fast for us to bother much about it. As it doesnt seem important to focus on one thing at a time. You can try to understand this with a more specific example like listening to two of your favorite songs at one time, wouldnt that be absurd! We might have a zillion choices of things that we like, for instance clothes, shoes, bags, food, music, places, people, etc. but at a given point we prefer only one from each category. We always seek this singularity of things around us. It brings us together, its a more wholesome experience. One can casually do any thing but what really makes it perfect is when something you like can completely bind your focus genuinely. Whichever person, thing or place can do it for longest period becomes our favorite. If it was one time or very occasionally then it forms our favorite memory. Basically even if you cant help it to happen again, you want to live it again in your mind as everything felt just right in that moment. It is why you hear often people say live in the moment or live for the moment. As there are only fragments like these which keeps everything going or seem worthwhile. If somebody hasnt found this singularity in a long time then meeting that one special person when everything seems to come together for you, holds the most special/important position in your life. You can experience this special moment anywhere and anyhow. Many of its triggers are common for many and unique in other cases. You might have most things going but then eventually it starts getting mundane or monotonous, then going for a holiday to a new place or somewhere you havent been in a long time, gives you the solitude or singularity of your mind. Its our inherent nature to be at one place at a time and do one thing at a time, though external factors often take it away from us and life becomes a drag before you know it. In most cases mental fatigue seeps in faster than you know. Our being/existence seems spread over in so many places that getting to collect ourselves or to feel wholesome again becomes an ordeal to achieve. We are in this struggle always whether we know it or not or accept it or not.You are going about your everyday life and a random long drive with a close friend/relative gives a relief, trying a new restaurant and new food can do it for some, a long waited concert / show can bring it for some. You cant really predict in advance when or what exactly will give you this moment of singularity next time. But we crave for it and live for it everyday waiting subconsciously. There is another very easy to comprehend example for this phenomenon, love at first sight or your first crush. The glee you felt or the constant grin which everyone questioned but you couldnt explain. There comes  sudden joy in everything you see or do. Many/most of us have experienced at least one such phase in our lives. Now comes the part we do not realize even after going through all this for decades. We like or love multitude of things but its the singularity that gets us thriving. The source of this singularity is always dependent outside on some external factor. As long as you are healthy, capable or well off to afford, its not an issue but things are not always easy or accessible for every common man. We start to age so rapidly without even realizing what/when/how it happened. As inevitably things change or dont last, we dont get the same joy/fun doing the same things, our taste & preferences change. We cant hold onto things in their same form forever. Everything has to vanish eventually, its the beauty of the end.There is corner in our heart which is unexplored by our conscious mind, untouched by anything or anybody. Its resemblance or glimpse has been experienced by us through many instances or factors, but its identity is still a mystery just like its existence. But the first and foremost thing is acknowledging that its their even as a belief. As nothing is more reliable in this world than you to yourself. You will always be there for you come what may, wherever you are and in whatever condition. In the beginning its like diving into the ocean of your mind looking for this one small pearl, you dont know how deep its lying and in which corner. Though believe me it shines so bright that even from a long distance you start experiencing its glimmer which is your only hope. Suddenly you will know to have this lamp which might not shine fully the whole dark forest but at least the space two feet around you. This is enough to start walking as the more you move, the more light shines with you to clear your surrounding in this journey within. Once you reach there you will never have to look elsewhere to feel alive, wholesome and satisfied. You will be truely liberated, free, fearless and independent.This kind of voyage is undertaken by very few adventurous people who strive to increase their moment of singularity after having identified it through one’s own life’s experiences. You can spend many many years in the multitude of things and there will still be zillion things left to explore or discover but to what ends. 

Multitude to singularity

मुश्किल है ज़बस कलाम मेरा, ऐ दिल. सुन सुन के उसे सुखंवरान-ए कामिल. आसान कहने की करते हैं फरमाइश. गोयाम मुश्किल, वगरना गोयाम मुश्किल . True, though, o heart, is my writing, redoubtable people hear me again & again and request me to use simpler language. What I say is complicated, What I write is complicated.

hubhopper

Journals

hubhopper