Josh shares his Experience, Strength and Hope as the very first atheist on Keep Coming Back. He is a fantastic example of taking what works for him, and leaving the rest. He also has his own podcast: An Atheist Reads the Big Book.Josh had his first drink as a little tot, perhaps 2 or 3 years old. It became a family joke that Josh would grow up to be an alcoholic. His parents were teenage partyers, which came with constant chaos, fights and drama. Josh didn’t know when food would come, or bedtime, he only knew the feeling of being poor and dirty and full of unease. Josh became a street kid and embraced the outcast life of not being welcome anywhere. It was a felony committed in a blackout that brought Josh to the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous – the rooms were behind bars, but I’ll let him tell you the story. Today, Josh is happy, he is active with his secular homegroup and he is of great service to the fellowship and his community – today, Josh is sober and content.Quotes“I was scared to death of meth . . . I didn’t know to be scared of alcohol.” “I remember struggling with some aspects of the [Big] Book . . . but I didn’t have to believe every single word as it was written . . .  I just remember feeling better, being involved in AA and the book made me feel better.” “I feel happy, I feel genuinely happy, and not that weird manic happy where I think the rug is gonna be pulled out from underneath me, just mostly content.”

Keep Coming Back - Speaker Meetings

vol 76. Sobriety Date 12/20/2019 (Josh C.)

CJ shares his Experience, Strength and Hope a dozen years into his sobriety. Abuse, fear and trauma are a theme in CJ’s story, primarily due to the verbal and physical abuse from his father. However, the story turns beautiful when CJ finds himself unable to stop drinking and reaches out to that same father for help, who at the time had decades of sobriety. CJ knew there was hope, because he witnessed his dad&apos;s recovery, and it was dad who told him when he called: “Replace that fear you have with faith and you can do anything you want in this life.”Today CJ is embarking on a spiritual journey of change, through the program, the principles, the steps and the community. And, the Book . . . CJ absolutely loves the Big Book and describes it with passion as: One of the greatest pieces of literature known to man, I believe it has helped save millions of lives, and continues to.Quotes“My priority at that time was just to drink and to party . . . all the while I’m just getting sicker and sicker, both mentally and physically.” “I wanted to stop drinking, but I couldn’t . . . and I know that that is the disease of alcoholism: where I wanted to stop desperately, but I just couldn’t stop, no matter how hard I tried.” “I knew from that moment that I could no longer drink and that I had to turn my will and my life over to the care of God in order for that to happen.”“A day tightly knit with prayer and meditation is hard to unravel.” 

vol 75. Sobriety Date 1/13/2009 (CJ)

Chris shares his Experience, Strength and Hope as a real old-timer with old-wisdom from the heart of Alcoholics Anonymous: Akron, Ohio. Chris grew up in a military family, with a father he feared, a new home every two years and the feeling of complete loneliness. He watched the calm alcohol brought to his dad and wanted to see what it was all about, and so at 9 yrs old Chris’ drinking career began. Soon he was in Juvenile Hall and then spent a few years in the California Youth Authority, leaving there unbelievably angry and determined to never listen to anyone ever again.Chris came into the rooms with that same anger, throwing coffee cups and ashtrays and regularly getting kicked out of meetings . . . until the day he asked his sponsor why no one liked him, and thus began his true sobriety, years after his last drink. In this story, Chris goes beautifully into the Big Book and some of the 164 promises written within those pages. The loneliness resolved and the forgiveness of his father long ago given and received. Today, Chris walks free of anger, with both peace and purpose. Quotes“I was probably the most angry human being you ever met in your life, I hated myself, I hated everybody around me.” “This book teaches us to walk with purpose.” “This program is not for the incredibly lucky or the chosen few, it’s for everybody who wants it.”

vol 74. Sobriety Date 5/1/1981 (Chris F.)

Wes shares his Experience, Strength and Hope from the birthplace of Alcoholics Anonymous: Akron, Ohio.  An overweight, poor child growing up with alcoholic parents Wes never felt accepted or good enough. Raised by his housekeeper, Wes “knew” he was unwanted. Wes tried hard to fit in, and eventually alcohol did the trick. It was the 80’s: fast cars, money and a sense of entitlement took Wes over. After graduating college, he drank his way through a few years with no real direction and a lot of self-hatred. After marrying into a party family, the drinking got worse and the coverup got heavier. It was a Big Book that randomly showed up in his bathroom that brought him to the rooms. Today, Wes has a homegroup, a sponsor and sponsors other men; being sober is the greatest blessing of his life. Quotes“It is the disease that tells you you’re fine right up to the moment that it kills you.” “The way that you feel right now can stop forever, if you want it to.” “At 50 years old I finally figured out that I am good enough, I am worthy.” 

vol 73. Sobriety Date 7/5/2013 (Wes)

Bryce shares his Experience, Strength and Hope – sober at 17 years old he literally grew up in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Bryce also grew up in an Alcoholic household, with lots of drunk driving, screaming, play throwing and more – he dealt with this by escaping into drugs and alcohol. His first drunk was planned and enjoyed at 9 yrs old and his first overdose at only 11 yrs. Bryce became an uptight, bossy child full of anger and resentments, which didn’t fade quickly in sobriety. It was an act of another young member of Alcoholics Anonymous that brought Bryce to recovery. He came in hating AA and all the laughter and corny things said in the rooms. Then he left and when he came back he was full of terror that it wouldn’t work for him . . . but it did and it has for many years. Today, Bryce no longer feels alone, he trusts others and he works through the process of recovery with a strong community and an even stronger desire to serve. Quotes“The majority of my time was just drinking and contemplating suicide.” “The head that created the problem cannot be left to solve it.” “You folks talked about things that I thought only I thought, and doing things I thought only I did, and you talked about drinking the way I only thought I drank.”

vol 72. Sobriety Date 1/2/2007 (Bryce)

Kelley shares her Experience, Strength and Hope in this detailed account of her journey from alcoholic-addict to sober and free member of Alcoholics Anonymous.An extremist, Kelley had all or nothing thinking and behavior—if some is good, more is better. From eating disorder and meth, to a straight A student and college athlete, to psych wards, DUIs, ICUs, and jail, to marrying a cop to dating a meth dealer; the pendulum swung hard in Kelley’s life.16 yrs. of chaos with 7 or more rehab visits lead Kelley to a life of guilt and shame and hopelessness . . . even hopes of death. But the miracle of these rooms and this program brought Kelley to a place of searching, seeking something else, and with that she surrendered and begged God for help . . . and that prayer and the people in these rooms have brought Kelley to a life of love and serenity.  Quotes“All this time I didn’t want to stop, I wanted the consequences to stop.”“The obsession to drink or use was lifted, it just wasn’t there anymore, I guess it was gradual.”“Today, the program is the most important thing in my life.”  

vol 71. Sobriety Date 7/20/2017 (Kelley)

Roger shares his Experience, Strength and Hope as a master quoter of all things poetic, powerful and thought-worthy. As a young gay boy Roger was constantly beaten up for being different. This created an excessive self-concentration in him, a high alert to everything around him and was the beginnings of a life of fear, shame and exhaustion. In second grade he wrote a story about committing suicide and started his drinking career at this same age. Roger always wanted connection, a deep desire to belong drove his alcohol and drug use which fed his disease. Roger grew up surrounded by 12 step programs, so when things got bad enough, he knew where to go. In sobriety today, Roger can handle the unknown, he can handle being different. Today, Roger embraces being his true authentic self. Roger has found a beautiful force of energy and people that guides him through the world; in AA, he has found limitless expansion. Quotes“I didn’t drink because I’m gay, and I drink because my father’s an alcoholic, and I didn’t drink because I was sad, or I did not drink because I’m happy, I drank because I have alcoholism. Period.”  “It’s very important when we stop drinking not pick up the first drink, that is non-negotiable. We do not pick up the first drink, it’s the first drink that gets me Fucked up, it sets of the cycle of the vampiric need in me to have more and not stop.”“The 3 main hosts that alcohol feeds on are: fear, shame and anger.”“What if it all worked out?” 

vol 70. Sobriety Date 4/30/2002 (Roger)

Shawn shares his Experience, Strength and Hope after several years of much loss—the recent death of his mother and brother have brought him to new levels of spirituality.Shawn grew up with an active father alcoholic with abuse, dysfunction and unpredictability. From early childhood he sought relief in the form of substances. And as his peers were moving on to college and life, his addiction and alcoholism were just ramping up. It wasn’t until he was 40 yrs. old that he found himself in a county rehab in a position of complete desperation.Today Shawn has almost 19 years sobriety and no longer sees the world as a harsh and hostile place, there to hurt you. The 12 Steps, taken from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, have made meaningful and effective change in his life,  and  in the way he experiences the world, people and himself.Quotes“I was a ball of trauma . . . I was a hollowed-out version of myself when I came to AA.”“My sponsor helped me see some truths about myself that I did not have access to.”“Being physically sober is the least of the gifts I got in Alcoholics Anonymous.”

vol 69. Sobriety Date 12/19/2002 (Shawn)

Catherine shares her Experience, Strength and Hope with great gratitude and understanding of both the disease and the beautiful gifts of recovery. Catherine was only 17 years old when she got sober, which means she never really had much of a childhood—at 14, addicted to cocaine and drinking daily. The amount of pain and suffering she once experienced alongside the joy and grace she has in her life today, as a 31-year-old sober woman, is remarkable. Things went really wrong, really quickly for Catherine. Growing up in a conservative Catholic home with a lot of drinking and alcoholism she only knew how to hide her truth, even from herself. Like many of us, Catherine grew up feeling a huge hole in her heart, she first filled it with obsessively reading, then swimming and then eventually of course booze, but today that gap is filled with the love and tenderness the fellowship brings to her life. Catherine leans into her spirituality and the program, searching and growing and learning to understand herself and her Higher Power, which is LOVE, more and more each day.Quotes“I wanted to feel less like me and more of what I perceived what other people were feeling.”“The way I was taught about God closed my mind to recovery . . . the things I didn’t like about God were manmade.”“God has become the opposite of fear, it’s the absence of fear—God is Love.” 

vol 68. Sobriety Date 5/26/2007 (Catherine)

Sahar shares her Experience, Strength and Hope—as an addict and alcoholic she goes into details that we don’t often hear in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. This is a true story, told with completely vulnerability.One of five children in a Spanish-speaking home and English-speaking school, Sahar always felt “different than.” Sahar was a wild child with a bad attitude, who refused to follow directions, and for that was kicked out of kindergarten and many grades thereafter. Sahar’s first drunk was a blackout event at the age of 11. Most of her teen years were spent in psych wards, fighting back and eventually attempting suicide with an almost regular cadence.After institution life ended, street life began—this took Sahar down quickly, which brought her to the rooms where the promises immediately started coming true. But then about 3 years into sobriety, as it does for so many, life got in the way of her program. Within 6 months of no meetings she was out using and drinking again. After a new dark bottom, one of physical, mental and spiritual anguish, Sahar joined the fellowship once more. Today she’s a happy, joyous and free gay woman, living and practicing these principles. Quotes “I just wanted to die, I tried so many times to die; the number of times I tried to overdose is just ridiculous.”“I lost the power of choice when I drank.” “I have a pretty amazing life today . . . I can’t imagine my life without Alcoholics Anonymous,  where before I couldn’t imagine my life without drinking and using.” 

vol 67. Sobriety Date 2/12/2012 (Sahar)

David shares his Experience, Strength and Hope with a deep desire to keep his current, and second, sobriety date. Growing up in Southern California, with semi-hippy parents—freedom, love, and peace were core attributes to David’s childhood.The framework David had for what it’s like to be an adult was beach parties, joints, beer, and surfing—clothing optional. Drugs and alcohol attracted him more than high school, which he eventually dropped out of. However, in 1989, he made his way to 5 years of sobriety, only to go back out again for 13 painful years. In March 2008, David woke up desperate to change; he called central office, got a meeting directory, pulled out his old Big Book, and dove head first into the program of Alcoholics Anonymous—he became a yes man, and today, his sobriety is proof that this program works, when you work it.Quotes“I drank and used and did everything I could to make myself feel better temporarily, as long as I possibly could stand it.”“It’s obvious to me I’ve changed, I’m not the same person I use to be, it blows me away.”“You didn’t get sober to be miserable . . . enjoy life, pursue the things you want. Do the things your heart is craving . . . realize your dreams.”

vol 66. Sobriety Date 3/5/2008 (David G.)

Jason shares his Experience, Strength and Hope with two decades of sobriety. Jason was closeted for much of his young life, and with sobriety and the program, he has grown into a husband, father and active member of Alcoholics Anonymous—has a sponsor, sponsors others, still works the steps, and still grows.From a family of many alcoholics, some in recovery, some not, and some that were taken by this disease, Jason was aware from a young age the dangers of drinking. However, for an alcoholic, those warnings do not produce change. Drinking in college became daily almost immediately, while drugs were managed with hard and fast rules. Jason’s first DUI was on his 21st birthday, and with his second DUI almost died, wrapping his car around a telephone pole. Jason hit a spiritual bottom looking in the mirror on one of those notorious “next mornings.”In lockdown and sobriety, he’s learned things about himself he’s never known. Jason began following his dreams in these rooms—allowing the act of acceptance to lead him to new opportunities and experiences.Quotes“Alcohol was the first cure to my alcoholism.”“Warnings don’t really matter if you’re an alcoholic, being careful doesn’t exist, there’s no middle ground.”“I started to see the changes, and feel the changes, the inside was feeling different. I was starting to connect with myself for the first time.”

vol 65. Sobriety Date 5/4/2001 (Jason)

Sunshine shares her Experience, Strength and Hope with a preacher’s enthusiasm and powerful joy. Though she has decades of sobriety, she walks us carefully through the darkness that once was her disease, and brings us through to the light of sobriety.Born and raised in the Bronx to a deeply loving and affectionate family, Sunshine began life with a solid foundation. However, at 4 years old her father passed and life changed for Sunshine. She saw the world as one where only the toughest survived—and a world that she, as a young gay girl, did not belong to. With this, the need to escape was constant: drinking, drugs, stealing, seeking something she could not name, but longed for. It took a while for Sunshine to realize the laugher and joy in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous was a result of sobriety and not some drug in the coffee; the natural high of sobriety. Sunshine learned how to live in the program, she saw hope in the 12 steps, so she surrendered and took them. Today Sunshine is an ordained minister, spiritual coach, author and extremely active member in the community and in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous.Quotes“I had been chasing away the despair, the sadness, the doubt, the depression, the anxiety, the fear, the anger that I was feeling inside . . . I was trying to chase it away by using drugs and alcohol, and it was no longer working for me.”“I don’t tell God how big my problems are, I tell my problems how big my God is.”“I love my life today; I am a product of AA.” 

vol 64. Sobriety Date 1/10/1987 (Sunshine)

Ajit shares his Experience, Strength and Hope with a contagious optimism, despite career setbacks and the confusing disease of alcoholism. Ajit grew up in Florida, in a happy and loving home. Both an extroverted and charismatic kid, he was known to take things to the next level, the last standing player, never wanting the fun to end. This foreshadowed his blackout-drinking journey to come. Vegetarian since 16-years-old, Ajit thought he could quit alcohol like he did meat—on his own with sheer willpower and choice. He eventually learned the disease of alcoholism is beyond self-control and determination, and decided to enter rehab. And true to character, Ajit didn’t just do a 28-day stay, he took rehab to the next level, out of the country, for almost 6 months.In sobriety, Ajit has become human again—and as a part of this wonderful tribe with shared beliefs, attitudes, motivations and behaviors, Ajit is relearning himself and beginning to run his own race. Today, Ajit finds himself in the pursuit of serenity, peace and joy through the program and principles and people of Alcoholics Anonymous.Quotes“Once I turned 21, I could drink like I wanted to . . . that’s when I started getting giant handles and locking myself in my room.”“It’s hard to understand the nature of alcoholism, even for alcoholics.”“Listen God, I don’t know what the hell you are . . . or how you work, but I need help.”“I’m here for a reason, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and that has defined my recovery.”

vol 63. Sobriety Date 2/7/2017 (Ajit)

Josh shares his Experience, Strength and Hope with a unique perspective of the program, having been sober since he was 19 years old, Josh grew up in the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. A mere 10 years old when he had his first drink; only a kid who thought that everyone blacked out when they drank. It wasn’t long before Josh was a regular in Juvenile Hall, and with that came a reality of fear and hate. Josh drank his way to a completely hopeless state and tried almost successfully to commit suicide. But alas, he is here today, a very young “old timer” that was grown by these principles and these practices of service, humility, honesty and a spiritual way of life. The problems Josh once had with the notion of a God or any sort of religion have disappeared over the years and it’s quality of faith Josh leans on today. And today is a beautiful life for Josh, a brand-new life as a brand-new dad. Quotes“At that time, I felt pathologically incapable of taking direction from somebody that was presenting themselves as any form of authority.”  “It occurred to me that this would probably be one of the many decisions I would have to make if I really wanted to get sober.” “Lots of people in AA have these weird moments where everything seems to come together to offer us this ability to see our Higher Power in a way that feels undeniable.” 

vol 62. Sobriety Date 10/22/1995 (Josh)

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