"It is evening. Kayleigh is sitting cross-legged on the edge of my sofa. She is watching my television. Her eyes are narrow slits. She is catlike. Kayleigh scoops salsa with nacho chips. I look up from the book that I am not really reading and I watch as a glob of tomato evades her fleshy lips. It explodes, fat and satisfied, onto the cream upholstery. To me, this happens in slow-motion." Kayleigh by Julie Mayhew was read by Charlotte Worthing at the Fear & Loathing Liars' League event on 11 October 2011.

Liars' League (London) Archive - 2011

Kayleigh by Julie Mayhew, read by Charlotte Worthing

She's in sales. You're in sales. It's the end of a long day of meetings, and she's got a great rack ... so why not listen to her pitch? R-rated for sauciness and seduction. Happy Hour by Phillip Gardner was read by Gloria Saunders at the Liars' League Give & Take event on Tuesday, December 13th, 2011, at The Albany, Great Portland Street, London.

Liars' League Give & Take (Dec 2011) HAPPY HOUR by Phillip Gardner

A new, old Christmas story about a primordial Santa from the frozen wastes; he comes bearing sticks and stones instead of toys, and wears a reindeer-skin robe fastened with elf-knuckles - what's not to love? The Chimney by Lisa Annelouise Rentz was read by Max Berendt at the Liars' League Give & Take event on Tuesday, December 13th, 2011, at The Albany, Great Portland Street, London.

The Chimney by Lisa Annelouise Rentz

Time works in funny ways at the British Club, where odd couple Harry and Harriet turn up one day unannounced. But have they been here before? Always by Nichol Wilmor was read by Silas Hawkins at the Liars' League Give & Take event on Tuesday, December 13th, 2011, at The Albany, Great Portland Street, London.

Always by Nichol Wilmor

Roger and Ella share an uncomfortable dinner at a Portuguese restaurant, where Roger's meanness has appalling consequences ... Gratuity by David Bausor was read by Sarah Feathers at the Liars' League Give & Take event on Tuesday, December 13th, 2011, at The Albany, Great Portland Street, London.

Gratuity by David Bausor

"Two words explained why Ryan hated Christmas: Noel Edmonds." A recent divorcee and his absentee, ex-army dad meet up again after 20 years - but is there anything left to say? Presence by Bernie Deehan was read by Martin Lamb at the Liars' League Give & Take event on Tuesday, December 13th, 2011, at The Albany, Great Portland Street, London.

Presence by Bernie Deehan

Watching the London riots on TV with smug right-wing City boy Peter kindles a rebellious spark in the heart of impoverished Ben ... Read by Will Goodhand

Posh Dishes by James Holden

Can Trev take on a hippo in a fight? As the pints fly by, there's only one way to find out ... Read by Steve Wedd

Telling It Like It Is by James Smyth

A Kiplingesque tribute to the Just So stories, in which a mighty elephant discovers that pride comes before a fall ... Read by Rachel Spicer

How the Elephant Fell by Liam Hogan

A squaddie under fire finds things are only getting worse when inanimate things start talking to him... Read by Sean Patterson

Hot by Jet McDonald

A beleaguered journalist broadcasting under duress recants her previous "lies" about the President of an unnamed country ... Read by Jennifer Tan

Do Not Send Help by Anna Clair

A witch has joined the Lichfield Borough Council Diversity and Inclusivity Committee - and Peter doesn't like it ... Read by Tony Bell

Something Wicked by Richard Smyth

A mysterious and sinister YouTube video is doing the rounds - why is Sarah the last to know? ... Read by Annalie Wilson

Viral by Niall Boyce

A housewife - perfect in every way except for her physical appearance - awaits the return of her handsome, but less than perfect husband ... Read by Lisa Rose

Mr & Mrs Melvyn Martyn by David Rees

Writers write. Actors read. Audience listens. Everybody wins.

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Liars' League (London) Archive - 2011

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