We accidentally create a new segment to start this episode because we got caught up in whether our DJ was dead or his estate needed to spin the tunes. What is an estate? Do you need to have anything? What if you're dead? Does real estate imply you have an estate? What if the teddybear you get buried with was bequeathed to someone else? What if none of this is interesting to anyone at all? Hmph. On a related note, if someone says your singing voice is very distinctive, is that a compliment? How would you note sarcasm in your written compliment, if you wanted to? Or if you were quoting someone else's sarcastic comment? And wanted to do so sarcastically? How BM£ interesting. Finally, how many chests does a centaur have? We discuss the internal anatomical implications of having an extra chest, and it's as $%^ fascinating as you might expect? If you want to engage with us about any of this for some reason, send us an email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Limited Appeal

Limited Appeal - Boring stuff and centaurs and shit

We have a new segment, called "Ballpark Talk", in which the premise is to decide whether two things are in the same ballpark or different ones. Today's inaugural topic: cannibalism versus eating a pet. As usual, we explore many of the philosophical nuances here. What if it's a pet you know, versus a person you don't? What if the person died accidentally and humourously in a food preparation context? What if it's a person who is a pet? Does the relative deliciousness matter? We do not want to hear from anyone who has actually considered eating a person. Anyone else, though, can email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Limited Appeal - A New Ballpark

This podcast was a rare occasion when most of us were in the same room. This means that the audio is generally exquisite since we are using T-Bone's studio, but also somewhat annoying because Warren insists on giving listeners cues of our eating and drinking. Do judges have their own gavels, or is one provided in the courtroom? What if someone breaks the gavel, is there a spare? John is on hand to answer, even though he insists he hasn't spent much time in a courtroom. You be the judge of what he knows about judges. Get it? If you are a judge, or a gavel equipment manager, and want to set the record straight, send us an email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Limited Appeal - Charlie Farkas

An oft-discussed but not previously resolved question: is Die Hard a Christmas movie? We settle the matter, I guess, provided you don't care very much about the matter in the first place. Turns out the whole question turns on the secret, possibly offscreen shenanigans between Bruce and the security guard. If you can read between the scenes to imagine some help-shtooping, then you have yourself a holiday classic. Take that, Julie Andrews! Our handy rule turns out to illuminate the question for many other Christmas movie candidates, although the degree to which off-screen activity is implied is sometimes controversial. Screenwriters of the future, take note: make sure that you explicitly clarify the off or on screen antics involving the help if you want to be included in the holiday rotation. If you need help with how to write about expressly boning, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Limited Appeal - Shtoop the help, it's Christmas

Welcome back! Have you washed your hands? Either way, keep your soggy end out of the dip. Warren asks whether Timmy was right in suggesting that George from Seinfeld put his whole mouth in the tip. Remember the before-time, when this might have been a question? It's hard to imagine now, but at one stage it was somewhat defensible to dip near someone else, and maybe even do so twice, depending on rotation and the number of chip protuberances. If you know can clarify the benefits of tube-shaped chips, or know which of our episodes contains a discussion of aphid honeydew, send us an email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Limited Appeal - That is so Takis

Limited Appeal - My Corona

For this episode, we revisit Inventions and Shit, our segment in which we present ideas of new inventions for free (mostly) in case any venture capitalists are listening. Warren's latest idea is a toilet water warmer, which, you may have guessed, warms the water in your toilet. There are several major benefits (or perhaps problems) depending on your anatomy, digestive physiology, and temperature preference. And maybe the country of origin of your dog. If you are a robot (preferably not a racist or masturbating one) and wish to license our idea (please don't) you can contact us by email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Limited Appeal - That Nice Warm Feeling Around the Bum

Having been stuck on Season 11 for a while, we skipped 12 and went straight to 13. Bad luck be damned! By the way, have you been eating salami wrong? Quite possibly. Anyway, this episode marks a return to our contest feature Nature Walk, Who's That Bird Non-Bird Edition, Round 5. How dramatic! For this contest, we have to listen to an audio clip of a nonbird, describe the nonbird or name it, describe what the nonbird is thinking, or what it is trying to achieve with the sound, and then provide a collective noun for the animal. Play along at home, though you'll be hard pressed to match the amateur natural history insights we muster. If you need any more nostril-based trivia, let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Limited Appeal - Southern Nostril on a Northern Honk-Honk

I was going to write about Warren's introduction of a topic, and I guess I have. SPOILER ALERT: Warren mentions more than one thing not particularly central to the latest Predator movie that had (until our discussion) seemed unbelievable, but we resolve that for him. Then, for our segment "How About That?", Warren bring up the Pepto Bismol and Nyquil donut range for the Voodoo Donut shop in Oregon, not to mention the Cock and Balls donut. Somehow their range is not as variable as it could be, especially if they had listened to some earlier suggestions from Limited Appeal. I was going to look up the exact episodes and refer to them, but I guess I have not. If you have any questions besides which episodes those are, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Limited Appeal - Two finger food

This episode starts with a Nature Walk, featuring Who's That Bird, non-bird edition, possibly round 4. T-Bone's dog previous success has him well ahead, maybe. Warren plays the sound of a nonbird, and each of us has to guess what the nonbird looks like, what it's trying to communicate, and provide the collective term for it. We each take a guess, which is as non-illuminating as usual. However, the correct answer sets off a real flood of interest in the water economy of the animals in question. Trust me, this is weirder and more interesting than it sounds, provided it doesn't sound very interesting to you. If you have any experience with unconventional sources of water, send us an email to tell us about it (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Limited Appeal - Neck bag

This episode, Warren describes a situation in his work bathrooms that has been troubling him: one day the overseers at Warren's office replaced the paper towels with air dryers. However, some people must have complained, because at some point someone added a box containing so-called "door tissues". This way, people who had previously used paper towels to open the door had an extra paper towel that they could use to open the door after air drying their hands. Then the problem became what to do with the door tissues, so the management installed a garbage can outside the toilets marked "Door tissues only!" Then someone ripped down the door tissue box, so there was still a garbage can but no door tissues. We discuss the complex series of pointless events for far longer than you might imagine. I was really annoyed by this story when Warren told it and writing it down again has infuriated me again. Believe it or not, the first half, infuriating as it is, is outmatched by the conversation on homophones that follows. Arrrghhh!!! If you justifiably want to complain about how painful this episode was, contact us by email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.

Limited Appeal - Party nonoffice

In case you were expecting something, this is what you get.

hubhopper

Limited Appeal

hubhopper