bonus episode: to be played alongside the film because you weirdos might actually watch #mandy.

Mandy Sucks Minute

and so does this commentary track

just as the final shot after the credits adds absolutely nothing to this movie, this episode will add absolutely nothing to this show. you have been warned. #mandy minute 121

and so does this post-credits waste of time

picture, if you will, a podcaster who sees a light at the end of the (presumably red and very long) tunnel, but needs one last rant that includes a critique of screenwriting characters, of revenge plots, of our urges to fantasize about violence, and a review (sort of) of Rambo Last Blood. This is that rant, because the credits in #Mandy minute 120 are not interesting.

and so does red miller's lack of an inner life

so let us look at some mistranslations of the plot description found online as the credits roll in #mandy minute 119. (the untranslated words seem to be welsh, by the way)

and so does this plot

but first, a recap of the film so far. then the uselessness of there being two moons in the sky. then the alleged characters names. roll credits on #mandy minute 118

and so do these two moons and this cast list

people call this movie original. call this final bit with the hero driving off on his own, all... well most of the bad guys dead behind him, one more original moment. #mandy minute 117

and so does andy driving away

did they fall madly in perfect romantic love (as evidenced by absolutely no part of the first act of this film) because they both had the same stupid shirt? and they both smoked? and they both went to the same bar with panos cosmatos lighting? i guess relationships have been founded on less. #mandy minute 116

and so does this flashback meet... cute?

i mean, nothing happens, but that's because there's nothing left to happen. let's roll credits... #mandy minute 115

and so does this minute being kinda okay

to be fair, maybe one of the three shots seems to be in focus, so i guess it's a simple enough cheat to pretend like you're doing something interesting. or you just really like fire. and silhouettes. #mandy minute 114

and so does this crossfade of multiple shots

it's like this movie can't make up its mind (even this close to the end) to have things happen quickly or slowly. headcrush? at least a whole boring minute where we can't tell what's happening. lighter drops on floor where there's a head, a body, and a (presumably) concrete floor? that shit has to ignite into a massive blaze immediately, and spread down the LONG tunnel and up the ladder and ignite this stupid Midsommar temple before someone skins that tiger and wraps someone in it. #mandy minute 113

and so do these easy-start burning heads

but when the movie's got a minute of andy maybe possibly crushing fishmouth's head (nevermind the lack of effort involved), and one more burst of stupid dialogue, your mind's gotta go someplace else. #mandy minute 112

and so do my fucking references

linus roache is acting the crap out of this scene. too bad the lighting makes it so hard to see what he's doing. #mandy minute 111

and so does fishmouth's too-late attempt at an oscar

really, this whole scene is just bad. why are they in a missile silo? if it's 1983, why is the silo empty? why is its blinking red light still powered if it's not in use? why is fishmouth in there? why is he wearing a diaper? why does andy talk like he's possessed? if he's possessed, why weren't the bikers actual demons instead of drugged-up bondage freaks? if lights exist, why didn't the production use some? etc. #mandy minute 110

and so does this dialogue and the voice modulation

it's the worst of everything. red light? check. darkness? check. blurriness? check. andy makes a stupid face? check. fishmouth acts bizarre? check. where the fuck are we? check. what just happened in between scenes that we really should have seen? check. #mandy minute 109? check.

and so does this slow blinking red light

this minute is just a bunch of buildup to nothing... that could be an alternate title for the film: A Bunch of Buildup to Nothing: The Andy and Airquotes Story. #mandy minute 108

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Mandy Sucks Minute

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