You&apos;ve heard of a "bad penny"?  Well there&apos;s no badder penny than Pennywise, the malevolent and not very amusing clown spawned from the imagination of Stephen King.  His 1986 novel, IT, was an instant classic and one of his crowning achievements.  (King pun!  Ha ha!  No?)  Both a 1990 TV miniseries and a pair of big-budget theatrical releases in 2017/2019 brought this epic story to the screen.  Now, I&apos;m bringing it to the earphones and all your favorite audio outputs!  Follow me down the drain to a funhouse of horrors and jokes.  You&apos;ll be amazed at how I manage to squeeze 8 hours of movie into just over 1 hour of babble.  Come on and float!

Missing Real with Mike D'Arrigo

Season 5 Episode 10: IT

This 1982 horror classic gets the official "Missing Real" tribute!  John Carpenter really knew how to scare the pants offa ya back in the day, and I firmly proclaim this to be the scariest scary movie ever.  No cheesy CGI, just a whole bunch of rubber, latex, KY Jelly and other gooey substances to lend an undeniable realism to the creatures and mutations spurting out all over the place.  Kurt Russell is the man.  Actually, every character in this movie is a man.  Unless they&apos;re a Thing.  But how can you be sure....?

Season 1 Episode 7: The Thing

It&apos;s Missing Real...in 3-D ! ! !  By that I mean 3 times Dumber than usual.  We&apos;ve got a double feature of 2 low-budget Road Warrior rip-offs so derivative they really make Max Mad.  You&apos;ve probably never even heard of them, although they feature young actresses who shortly afterward became rather famous: there&apos;s that Molly Ringworm chick with the red hair and the blonde who married John Travolta (no, not Olivia Newton-John!).  From the classic 1980s, these movies were intended to be viewed wearing 3-D glasses, but I&apos;d recommend blindfolds.  Yes, they&apos;re awful, but also awful fun to talk about.  So watch out!  This podcast is COMIN&apos; AT YA!  (incidentally, another bad 3-D movie from that era!)

Season 5 Episode 9: Spacehunter / Metalstorm

Dracula, you say?  Yeah, but which one???  As we know, most vampire movies suck.  But take the director of cinematic classics like The Godfather and Apocalypse Now, and let him sink his teeth into this ancient tale.  The cast is led by the amazing Gary Oldman (playing a very old man indeed, but he gets all young and stylish soon enough), Anthony Hopkins (not the one doing the biting this time around), and young Keanu Reeves (who doesn&apos;t know kung fu or handle guns here; the dude has enough trouble wielding an English accent!) vying for the love of Winona Ryder.  This is a pretty artsy and interesting movie for sure, and I found another fan of it to join us for this episode: Lisa Blake-Mitchell!  Prepare for a podcast that&apos;ll keep you up at night.  There is a lot at stake.  Ready, sunshine?

Season 5 Episode 8: Dracula (with Special Guest!)

Ninjas.  Silent.  Deadly.  Mysterious.  So mysterious, in fact, that they can only be described in single word sentences.  Many movies have attempted to bring these ancient warriors to the mainstream.  Those foolish filmmakers have all been dealt a swift and bloody death.  Yet their works remain available for viewing.  Works like this one, which isn&apos;t satisfied with just being a ninja movie.  It&apos;s also got aerobics and demonic possession!   Doesn&apos;t that sound like a winning formula as "can&apos;t miss" as the most skilled ninja assassin?  In actuality, watching this film may lead you to commit seppuku.  But before you purchase a very expensive sword to disembowel yourself, have a listen to this delightful podcast, in which my friend Dave Chan and I bring out the funny side of this horrendous defilement of film.  You couldn&apos;t tell, but even a ninja would smile at it.

Season 5 Episode 7: Ninja III: The Domination (with Special Guest!)

Know what an event horizon is?  Hint: it is NOT a sunset at a destination wedding.  As far as I know, it&apos;s some fancy science slang for a thing black holes do.  In this case, it&apos;s a lost space vessel and the doomed mission to recover it.  This 1997 movie, starring Laurence Fishburne (Morpheus!) and Sam Neill (Damien! OK, you might need to have been born in the 70&apos;s to get that reference) is a visually stunning and intestinally purging experience that will haunt you long after you carefully return the Collector&apos;s Edition blu-ray disc to its case and file it back among all your other sci-fi horror classics.  You do, right?  And hey, I&apos;m not the only one who really loves this flick.  Listen to what Quan Ngo has to say about it.  This podcast will take you to hell and back.  (No guarantees on the "back" part).

Season 5 Episode 6: Event Horizon (with Special Guest!)

Remember 1982?  A time when computers didn&apos;t fit in your pocket and Jeff Bridges didn&apos;t look like Kris Kristofferson?  Long before Disney scooped Star Wars and Marvel into the Magic Kingdom&apos;s backyard, they offered up Tron, with its fantasy world of glowy neon people living inside computers and competing in gladiatorial video game battles.  Then they did a sequel nearly 30 years later with awesome visual effects that someone 30 years in the future might look back on and laugh at.   Speaking of laughs, this podcast has plenty, along with some fascinating facts, a rundown of cool computers and AI in the movies, a visit from my brilliant bro David Franklin, and the music of Journey and Daft Punk!  Sounds like an experience you&apos;ll never delete!  

Season 5 Episode 5: Tron / Tron Legacy (with Special Guest!)

Well, if it isn&apos;t another Star Wars episode!  This one&apos;s kind of the runt of the litter, bridging the gap between annoying little kid Anakin and big bad Darth Vader.  Trouble is, Anakin doesn&apos;t get any less annoying as he goes through Jedi training and puberty.  Whiny brat wants to be a Master Jedi and his best trick is making fruit float.  It gets worse: all he really wants is to romance Natalie Portman with some of the most cringe-inducing wordplay ever committed to a script.  George Lucas is no Shakespeare, let&apos;s leave it at that.  Hey, at least we get a cool villain, the one and only Christopher Lee playing Count Sudoku, or whatever his name is.  Of course he&apos;s a Count.  They probably asked the purple muppet Count to be in the movie, but he&apos;d just end up all CGI animated anyway.  But wouldn&apos;t it be awesome if he was the one who fights Yoda?  Nah, didn&apos;t think so.  But what IS awesome is this podcast, with my special guest, the uproariously funny (and candid) Quan Ngo.  Listen you must!  

Season 4 Episode 2: Attack Of The Clones (with Special Guest!)

Before J.K. Rowling, way before most of us were even born, we had J.R.R. Tolkien&apos;s Hobbit and Lord of the Rings books.  Confession: never read the darn things.  But thankfully Peter Jackson produced an extraordinary film trilogy of epic proportions for us to enjoy.  Nevertheless, they&apos;re pretty lengthy as well, so let me save you about 8 hours of "precious" time and guide you on an express tour of Middle Earth (not to be confused with the Earth&apos;s core, which is probably at the bottom of Mount Doom).  My companion on this adventure is my dear friend and talented actress/writer/producer Lisa Blake-Mitchell.  Let us make haste.  The eye of Sauron sees all.  But since there&apos;s no "ear of Sauron", he won&apos;t be able to listen to our podcast!  Sucks to be him.  

Season 5 Episode 4: Lord of the Rings (with Special Guest!)

To start off my 4th season, I thought I&apos;d "whip up" a thrilling episode following the adventures of Harrison Ford&apos;s most celebrated earthbound character.  Indiana Jones actually prefers hokey religions and ancient weapons to a good blaster at your side.  But he still has a close encounter with some aliens and the once flawless franchise takes a plunge into the Temple of Dumb.  At least we had Sean Connery in there for a bit.  Joining me for this expedition is my longtime friend and fellow Iron Maiden aficionado Ed Marcus, and we have a lot of laughs and revelations here, but we&apos;re definitely off the map!  If you listen to this episode, have a shovel handy, &apos;cause you&apos;re really gonna dig it!  (OK, that was bad, but not as bad as Crystal Skull!)     

Season 4 Episode 1: Indiana Jones (with Special Guest!)

Let&apos;s face it: even the most die-hard Star Wars fans absolutely HATED episodes I and II  (and probably also hated every Die Hard after the second or third one).  But no matter what, we just HAD to see it through and get some closure, at last witnessing the origin of Darth Vader.  Hearing that iconic voice for the "first" time.  The movie turned out to be pretty satisfying, as if Vader himself threatened George Lucas with a good old "You&apos;ve failed me for the last time!"Sadly, Vader&apos;s few lines in this film are far from menacing...and you&apos;ll get to hear them along with a whole lot of much better dialogue from me and a very special guest: my cousin and fellow Star Wars veteran since the very start, Chris Nicosia!  For once, I have a good feeling about this!

Season 5 Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith (with Special Guest!)

1986 was a very good year.  Mostly because of the release of this classic movie, the pinnacle of Christopher Lambert&apos;s awesomeness.  Yes, he was a riot in Mortal Kombat, but this here flick is more like "Immortal Kombat!" Heh Hehhhhh!!! (Sorry)Joining me for this in-depth discussion is my kinsman and fellow Highlander scholar/Scotch consumer Dave Chan.  So, pour yourself a double Glenmorangie on the rocks, fasten your kilt and hang on.  The sensation you&apos;re feeling...is the Quickening.  P.S.:  What does "baffled" mean?

Season 1 Episode 6: Highlander (remastered, somewhat!)

In Greek mythology, Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to us humans.  So now you know who to thank next time you sink your teeth into a flame-broiled Whopper at Burger King.   Speaking of teeth, isn&apos;t this supposed to be the movie that&apos;s sorta related to Alien?  Yeah!  Ridley Scott takes a somewhat off-road path to revisiting his 1979 classic, and this misleading title might fool you into thinking this is one of those Clash of the Titans flicks.  It ain&apos;t!  Trust me, it&apos;s an Alien movie.  You might not recognize the few aliens featured in it, but they&apos;re definitely "distant cousins" of our beloved Giger Xenos.  I totally geeked out when I first saw this epic, dark  sci-fi adventure, but it has its detractors.  One of them is featured on this podcast, my ever-reliable, objective and brutally honest bro Quan Ngo.  Will he convince me to start hating this movie?  Game on!!!

Season 5 Episode 2: Prometheus (with Special Guest!)

Probably the most "serious" film I'm likely to cover in this podcast, Shawshank is a masterpiece of sorts.  And a real pain in the butt to make fun of.  Though not quite as severe a pain in the butt as getting a visit from "The Sisters"...aw, there I go!  Shame on me.  But trust me, I'm reformed.  I'm ready to re-enter society.  Oh, and speaking of re-entry, keep those Sisters away!!!  Sorry.  Can't help myself.  Once again, I am joined in the studio (BRIC in Brooklyn, NY, to be exact) by my good buddy Dave Chan, who's a real big fan of this film.  So, let's lock down some laughs and hear some astute observations.  Or, should they be "obtuse"?  Everything's on the table this time, expect the unexpected.  There may even be a surprise appearance by...Batman? 

Season 2 Episode 2: The Shawshank Redemption (with Special Guest)

Rocky Balboa...John Rambo...Marion Cobretti...guess that's where the lineage of Sylvester Stallone's cinematic titans just fizzled out!  But let's not write off this unsung hero too quickly...he deals punches AND bullets, drives fast, mumbles incoherent babble around the match sticking out of his mouth, and takes the law into his own hands!  And drops it!  Or throws it really far so you can't find it and by the time you do the movie's ended and the body count is incalculable.  That's not one of the words he says in the movie, incidentally.   Because action speaks louder than words,  right?  Lucky for you, this podcast has both!  Get ready for a thrill ride of talking by me and my frequent guest Dave Chan (who really should know better by now) as we try to figure out why Stallone would even try to play a snake.  Kurt Russell did it so much better.  Maybe they did Tango & Cash to compare notes...

Season 5 Episode 1: Cobra (with Special Guest!)

Great movies take their place in history, but what about all the "turkeys" and disastrous flops littering the vast cinematic cesspool? If you really love movies, then what does it matter if a particular film won eight Oscars or eight Razzies? Sometimes over-the-top hammy acting, laughably choreographed fight sequences and rubber monster FX outdo even the most lavish productions in the Academy Awards echelon. So, whether it's an unsurpassed masterpiece or a piece of something else, every movie I talk about in this podcast is near and dear to my heart. Some you will know well, some you'd be well off never knowing at all, at least until hearing just how enjoyably awful they are, so plug in those earbuds or don your expensive blingy Beats, and let's take a trip to the movies! (Popcorn optional)

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Missing Real with Mike D'Arrigo

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