For years scholars have debated on the one true place where old friends can truly go to let loose, have fun, listen to sub-par music, be free, drink with reckless abandon, vomit on themselves and strangers, urinate in the streets, wear overpriced boots and hats, eat mass amounts of fried food, splatter shit in public washrooms, get mugged, get sick, get mad at each other, get shitty, get shit on, and shit on themselves… Where you ask…? Well, here’s a hint: it’s like Vegas but better. WINK :) 

Monsters in the Morning

MITM #207

Exciting times garner exciting opportunities and right now theres plenty to get excited about at Q-Vision. When you think of Q-Vision, the first thing that comes to mind is this brand new state of the art telecommunications and cable provider which is on the cutting edge of super fast high speed lightning quick internet and voice, but theres so much more! Q-Vision also offers customers free automatic bill pay, access to over 200+ channels for one low rate plus the all new on-demand Dr. Q physician remedies and antidotes channel. Heard enough? Well how about this: rates begin at $99.95 a month for all new customers. Click!

MITM #206

Can you believe that it’s football season once again? Truly. Strange how time weaves its wonder in and out of our lives just like the great lumber jack heaves his axe through the air. Chopping and splitting as he clears the way for more concrete masterpieces and domes of glory. Who are we but mere cogs in the great ether of ozone; aimless, wondering, fading away… until finally, we are freed. We are let go of our pit-less fall towards ambiguity and saved by thy pigskin- Reborn by thy goal post and lifted up on wings of fandom to cheer, give high fives, blather, brute, spit, and talk and talk and scream and yell about My Team, Your Team… OUR Team. So rise up you weary wide bodies and rejoice, for its time to take the field once again. 

MITM #205

Life is hard, then you develop a hemorrhoid. Sound familiar? Your damn right it sounds familiar. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You see you and only you have the ability, hell the power, to overcome Big Pharma and finally stick it up their ass for a change. How you ask? It’s simple:#1. Stop “Believing” Everything They Tell You and Start Becoming What You Know To be True! Get it?!#2. Do Your Own Research and Stop Treating Your Asshole Like a Fool! Got it?!#3. Use Silver and Finally SEE and FEEL Results for a Change! Good!Listen, we get it, your a busy guy. You got a lot on your plate. But stop for a minute and think about what really matters in your life. It’s hard not to put the health and well being of your ass in the top first or second rung. So STOP playing their game and START freeing yourself from a lifetime of pain. Look, we live in a free country, its about time your asshole gets a taste of that freedom too. Ya dig?

MITM #204

You’re living your life as a fine member of your local community. You volunteer at the local garden, you sway along the local community parkways enjoying the breeze, waving at your local crossing guards and bus drivers as you pass them on your blissful morning stroll. You shop local, you eat local, you ARE local. Then it happens… BANG! Something suddenly not so local begins to grow out of your ass. Panic ensures and suddenly YOUR not so local anymore. You hide away. Scared, alone, emotionally and physically injured; naturally you turn inwards. But it doesn’t have to be this way for there is a solution. A topical solution. 

MITM #203

On this week’s very special edition of ‘Rhoid Rage, the Mavens break down for you the 5 Stages of Hemorrhoids and how to actively recognize where you are at in your journey. DiscoveryFrightDenialPainAcceptance and Treatment 

MITM #202

It’s ‘Roid Rage with local ‘Roid Mavens Dan and Jack. Listen in every week as they council you through handling your newly discovered ‘roid, or coach you as you continue to live with a long term inflamed and irritated protrusion. Giving insider tips, tried and true home remedies, along with an emphatic ear and first hand experience, The ‘Roid Mavens are here to help guide you towards leading a more fruitful and pain free life. 

MITM #201

Well we finally did it. 200 episodes in the can. Wow. Despite every obstacle, every nay-sayer, every dark night of the soul, we can finally hang our hat on this accomplishment. We can finally look at our nude bodies in the mirror and be proud for once. We can finally walk into our workplace without being made fun or called “stinky” by the boss and his buddies. With these 200 episodes we have established a legacy, a canon if you may, a permanent record of our silly speech and in depth cutting edge sports analysis which will no doubt be studied for years to come in non accredited online universities. What will the future hold for us “Mere Mortals of the Microphone”, us “Minions of Thy Midi”, us “Gurus of Garageband”, us “Squires of Squarespace”… who knows… Maybe we’ll do an entire show underwater! Now that would be fun :) Stay tuned, stay safe, stay moist. Prost.

MITM #200

When the weather warms and our bodies begin to acclimate to the heat and humidity, a force inside or bodies propels us to move forward. Outdoors we venture into strangers garages and front yards, taken by a primal need built up within our inner loins for months. Not driven by thirst or hungry, nor god or deity, or will or wonder, nay, for it is shit we desire and shit we so shall receive. Piles of shit, useless shit, shit from neighbors homes who don’t need the shit anymore so they sell the shit to us. Nice shit. Good shit at a good price. Shit that makes us feel happy, feel human, feel full, full of shit. So go out, find some more shit to add to your pile, but get their early because if you wait too long all the nice shit will be gone and you’ll be shit out of luck. 

MITM #199

If your from Chicago then theres no doubt you have your fair share of John Cusack stories. From catching him at a ball game as he sweet talks his current costar in the owners box, to watching him rollerblade carefree down the lakeshore shirtless, John has been a fixture of Chicago lore for decades. His larger than life presence coupled with is innate ability to make a lasting impression on residents and visitors alike, is why he continues to hold a special place in the canon of what it truly means to be a celebrity living in the big city. 

MITM #198

Whats APP everybody! Crack your knuckles, moisturize your palms and dip your eyes balls in some warm liquid because it’s time to talk apps! Yep its time to start App’n Around! Join us as we hear from our very own tech guru TDC as he reviews some of the hottest apps for 2021 including: Go “Q” Sleep, Blink, and Beta Moon. It’s App’n Around! Get it? App = Applications ie applications you download onto your device, and Around meaning “in existence or current use”. App’n Around. 

MITM #197

Look it was a big horse-around, period! Seriously you guys! We were horsing-around with it all… That’s it! No need to look into it much more than that. Consider this equation: Mike + Charley = Horsing Around! We love no thing more than taking y’all on a grand horse-around round-about featuring lots of horsing and ‘rounding to capture a pure and unfiltered genuine horse-around with two fellas who wrote the both on it. It’s called: Horsing Around with Mike and Charley and its currently on sale for $19.95.

MITM #196

Exploring your auditory systems through an intense meandering proliferation of noise and vibrations. Navigating your canals with uneasy familiarity and distant precision as we ride the wave and bang your drum. The norm does not exist within the walls of sound. The norm does not exist within the ether of bounce back. Hang up your rectangle’d hand cuffs and help us destroy the expectation of pre-packaged edible brainwash. Sense is all you have and its withering away to dust as we willingly bare witness to the unglamorous hand over. Don’t sneeze or your miss the show.

MITM #195

Read the pictures. Follow the unknown.Add up the piles of insurmountable TRUTHs. What’s the [What]? Where’s the [Where] [truly] located? Follow the lead[er][s].Look at my big ASS.NOW.You like what you see [feel]?My ASS is large right?Some would say gigantic.HUGE really.M

MITM #194

rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudy rudyToday is the day that you got to see rudy 101 times.Must be nice.

MITM #193

Chicago sports talk weekly round up featuring Maniac Mike and Touchdown Charley.

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Monsters in the Morning

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