I ask 3 people including me, Willow (13) and Eden (21) how do you listen? We discuss the importance of truly listening and how most people don’t do that and when you’re with someone who does how good it makes you feel. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if people did truly listen and weren’t distracted so much. I truly hope you enjoy the conversations as much as we did.

More Real

How do you listen?

I ask 5 people including me, Willow (13), Jess (15), Jude (17) and Eden (21) how important is human connection. We discuss how each person connects, what each person struggles and needs from human connection. The challenges of trying to connect in the current (Oct 2020) situation. What do you notice about connections and what do you wish could be different? What do you wish could be taught? I truly hope you enjoy the conversations as much as we did.

How important is human connection?

I ask 5 people including me, Willow (13), Jess (15), Jude (17) and Eden (21) are you grateful? We discuss the importance of gratitude and being grateful for the small things in life. Some useful exercises to help people to recognise gratitude. What does it mean to each person? How they show gratitude? Is it discussed with friends? I truly hope you enjoy the conversations as much as we did.

Are you grateful?

A regular guest on my podcast Richard is a father of two boys (8 and 14 yrs). He shares his journey of becoming a father. Having to deal with not experiencing the birth he and his partner had anticipated but then feeling the total euphoria of becoming a dad. Embracing fatherhood and being very hands on. The different parenting styles they adopted i.e. attachment parenting and aware parenting. He talks candidly about his father how he didn’t fully understand him until the end of his life and coming to terms with that. There was an important realisation in the conversation which was great for Richard about his father. How to deal with connecting to one child more than the other. How tough it is to be a dad and a really useful piece of advice to help you deal with the challenges. I truly hope you enjoy the experience as much as we did.

Why did you want to be a dad?

This was a great chat with Roni a father of 2 children (17 and 18yrs). Roni talks about the challenges he faced as a child, dealing with a strong detached father and how his perception of him changed during childhood. All of this influencing his parenting style. Like a lot of men Roni didn’t jump at the idea of having kids but when it happened he fully embraced the experience. He was so moved that he didn’t want to miss any of it. He had to deal with trauma around his daughters birth as she was born 3 months prematurely and as an adolescent there was another challenge which he struggled with and learnt how to adapt to. His kids are extremely important to him and how shaping their journey through life has been a constant source of enjoyment and a struggle. There are some important lessons that Roni shares about fatherhood and why it’s key to be an aware parent. I truly hope you enjoy the experience as much as we did.

What did your dad mean to you?

I ask Willow (13), Jess (15) Jude (17) and Eden (21) do you know who you and what you want from your life? For me these questions are important in being able to understand truly who are and if you connect with them on a regular basis it will help you make better decisions in your life. We discuss why knowing who you are is so crucial at a young age and how this influences your choice of friends and how you view your relationship with your family? I ask some interesting questions about future goals and what each person wants from their life even at a young age. We take some interesting journeys into the human psyche and discuss the struggles each person has which have affected their lives and help them to think more about these questions. I truly hope you enjoy the conversations as much as we did.

Do you know who you are and what you want from your life?

In this solo pod I talk about my journey of being a dad. I share the challenges I faced along the way and how I didn’t know what I was doing but worked it out as I went. I’ve made lots of mistakes but I’ve always tried to be present, stay connected and be there for my kids as much as I can. To give all of myself so they feel loved and appreciated. I talk about my relationship with my father and how he wasn’t there for me when I needed him. What he taught me and how I’ve loved and will continue to love being a dad. It’s the toughest challenge I’ve ever undertaken but by far the most rewarding of my life. I truly hope you enjoy the experience as much as I did.

Being a dad - The toughest and most rewarding experience of my life!

I ask 5 people including me, Willow (13), Jess (15), Jude (17) and Eden (21) do you love yourself? This topic has hugely affected my life as I’m a 50 year old man who hasn’t loved himself. I wanted to raise awareness of why I believe that loving yourself is so important. I discuss with each person a range of topics related to this subject including how do you love yourself? Why don’t you love yourself? Why is it important to love yourself? We discuss how self-awareness helps to guide your thinking. I truly hope you enjoy the conversations as much as we did.

Do you love yourself?

We started by discussing the classic Cherokee Indian legend about which wolf will you feed which I find fascinating. Eden is a beautiful person who at 21 has seen a lot of life. She’s experienced childhood trauma, her parents divorcing, living in two countries, travelling extensively and having incredible experiences with amazing people, being in the army and living in a pandemic. She has so much passion and energy and a positive outlook on life and at a young age has done some real work on her mental health. She’s been to bad places and will continue to do so but understands what’s going on when it happens and has the commitment and wisdom to work through her issues to grow and be the best version of her possible. Eden is highly empathic, who connects deeply with people and craves that connection. We discuss her belief system and her thoughts around not being good enough, struggling to find her voice as child in her family. Feeling like she was unheard and becoming angry and depressed and not having the same experience as her friends were at the time. I truly hope you enjoy the conversation as much as we did.

Which wolf will you feed?

Suffering leads to transformation. Pain is necessary despite what society tells you that being uncomfortable and feeling vulnerable aren’t good and you should push those feelings away, move on and feel positive. What we attach to the pain is important and the key is how you understand and deal with it. Throughout her life Lael has looked at herself, what vulnerability means and how emotional trauma has surfaced. She suffered a traumatic event when her third child was born and hadn’t dealt with it at the time. Two and half years later she was hit with PTSD. Anxiety attacks stopped her from working and she was overcome by so much emotion and pain. This was a life changing moment that required her to truly feel and understand what this event meant. All this taught her to always look at who she was and who she wanted to be. It’s so important to take care of your needs first and learn to love yourself, which sadly we’re just not taught. We talk about aware parenting (her area of expertise), what it means to be present and to catch your feelings and not project them onto your kids. Lael discusses what she fears the most and how she is able to step into the bigness of life and has the courage to be different. The importance of making a difference in the world, changing people’s lives for the better and the truth of who we are. She is an inspiring person who has achieved so much and has the grace to acknowledge it. I truly hope you enjoy the conversation as much as we did.

How have you grown through your suffering?

This is a deep dive into the human psyche. Understanding there is a big difference between happiness or the illusion of happiness and meaning in your life. Nicky’s had a journey of discovering who he really is and appreciating what makes him different. As a child he stood out from other kids because he was sensitive resulting in him being an easy target for others. This and his ability to connect deeply with everything and everyone led to bigger problems that surfaced in his adult life. He discusses the importance of adversity in our lives which we seek to avoid yet ultimately is the true catalyst for change and evolution.As an adult he moved to India drawn by the yoga teachings which he couldn’t find in Australia. He landed an incredible job working for India’s largest company which ended relatively soon after arriving. Nicky suffered a nervous breakdown a culmination of a number of factors including an awful boss, a previous bad relationship and dissatisfaction with what he was doing day to day. He talks about his body restricting who he is, confining him in an unnatural way and trying to find where the connections are with people rather than where the differences are. His understanding of who he is and why he’s here coupled with the ability to reflect on extremely challenging periods in his life and recognise their importance, to me is a real gift. I truly hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did.To find out more about Nicky please visit: www.hereyoga.com.au

Who do you think you are?

Depression, mental illness and emotional childhood trauma. As a child Adrian had been through a lot. His mother was heavily addicted to prescription drugs and his father a Vietnam vet was not present. All of this coupled with his sensitivity meant that he was not validated by his family and learnt that he needed to find this elsewhere. Being sensitive resulted in him believing that when something bad happened or his mother was sick Adrian blamed himself. He wanted to help but couldn’t. This led to internalising all the criticism in his life. As a teenager Adrian found a group of kids who liked for him who he was but he became addicted to drugs and alcohol because they provided the freedom he couldn’t find elsewhere.Despite these challenges Adrian followed the path that society has constructed, doing well at school, going to Uni, getting a job, making money and living the life but it didn’t make him happy. All those suppressed emotions, trauma as a child and a very unhealthy belief system resulted in panic attacks in his early 20’s which dramatically affected his mental health. Having seen therapists and tried many anti-depressants nothing worked which let to rehab. This was the end of the line! It was all too much and there was a lot of turmoil. Adrian then met someone that would change everything. A woman suggested Qigong meditation and what happened next was a spiritual awakening that shifted so much darkness leading to a huge transition. I truly hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did.To find out more about Adrian please visit: https://corempoer.com/Home/AdrianMiller

What have you struggled the most with in your life?

Jonathan felt different as a child and stood out which unfortunately made him an easy target to be bullied. Sadly, this has had a huge negative impact on his life and affected him greatly. His message around what to do if you are being bullied is important in my opinion and helps to stop this appalling behaviour. Jonathan has incredible courage to share his story with me. He talks candidly about trying to come to terms with being gay as a teenager and then having the strength to tell his family and friends in the late 80’s/early 90’s which was a huge deal at the time. How he felt rejected, tried to find acceptance, and being acknowledged for who he was. Throughout his life he has summoned real courage to face his demons and has grown as a result. He shares a truly traumatic story of receiving a call from a friend who had decided to end his life and trying to help him but unfortunately not being able to. This tragic event had huge ramifications for Jonathan’s life and ultimately led to big changes. I truly hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did.

There is no place in this world for bullying!

At a young age Kate had to deal with the fear around her mothers early on set dementia. Trying to navigate her way through this and understand her own feelings threw up a lot of issues and was extremely challenging. Watching her mothers steady decline over the years constantly worrying about whether her mother had forgotten to do something that was important led Kate and her sisters to suffer from anxiety and depression later in life. As a result of this she developed strategies to cope with all that life threw at her.This was a fascinating conversation about life and how to face your challenges which can be extreme at times. We talked about relationships, the significance of a strong paternal figure, lack of confidence and owning your shit! We delve into “emotional connection” and the ability to truly understand people, their feelings and navigating your way through this. I truly hope you enjoy the conversation as much as we did.

How do you deal with a parent’s declining health?

This question threw up a lot of issues and challenges that Shellie had to deal with in her life. Moving to a new place and having to try and fit into the myriad of social groups at her new school. Initially being rejected, feeling very alone and like she didn’t belong or was accepted. Being loved truly by her family but not by boys! Having no self-respect and doing things she knew were wrong but needing to feel like she was being seen so did them anyway. Then came the point of no return when enough was enough. She wanted out and to go somewhere where people understood her and that she felt like she BELONGED! She had searched for so long to find happiness, a sense of belonging and acceptance when what she really needed was always there inside of her, but she just hadn’t seen it. Happiness lies within!Shellie throughout her adult life turned to alcohol to give her the “buzz” she needed and to hide how she really felt. This went on for some time until one day unfortunately she had an incident that changed her life. I truly hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did.

Where do you belong?

Welcome to More Real a Podcast about real people for real people!

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More Real

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