Four book recommendations for the widowed. Three authors have been on the podcast as widowed guest co-hosts. The fourth author is not widowed. Her book was recommended to me by one of the widowed guest co-hosts. Now, I’m not going to have an author on the show if I won’t recommend their book. That would be awkward. And I only recommend books I have read. When I read, I underline. Write notes and questions in the margins. If I feel the book gives enough value (sorry I can’t define enough), I’ll book a recording appointment with the author. Before I have the author on the podcast, I reread the book and make 8 to 12 pages of handwritten notes for a podcast recording session. I’ll never recommend something to you if I don’t feel it delivers value. Value is subjective, and your definition of value is probably different than mine. To me, a non-fiction book delivers value if I get something out of it. For instance, an actionable tactic, or a different way of looking at a problem. Or something exhilarates me. Helps me heal. For me, the list goes on. I’ll never make a recommendation if I don’t feel it delivers value. Okay—Back to the books, the authors are from different walks of life and a wide age range—30’s and up. Big city to a small rural town. All in the United States. All the authors are female. Refreshing for me as a male—these books come with an added bonus. Because you get insight into women. Their perspective, thoughts, challenges, fears, emotional needs, and wants. What’s important in their relationships and more. In other words,  how to treat women. I wholeheartedly believe understanding and acting on it will make you a better listener, friend, lover, partner, or spouse. The overall theme with all the widowed authors' books is with their story, their experience, and in some cases, their professional expertise--they want to help others. That’s you and me. Like you (I know that’s an assumption), the widowed authors didn’t want to be part of the widowed community, but what I see is they choose to find meaning in their suffering—beauty in their odyssey. And they summon the courage to write and share intimate details with you—in the hope of helping you, to feel seen—to feel heard. To give you hope so you can heal, find love again, and give grief the middle finger. Links for the authors' books, websites, and podcast episodes are below. Most of the authors have more resources on their websites. Resources you might find valuable. If you are a member of the MSDToo community email list, that’s where you get Behind-The-Scenes details and Show Alerts, I’ll email you details and all the links so you can click to your heart's content. And … if you’re not a member of the My Spouse Died Too community email list, consider joining. Takes less than 32 seconds. Join at myspousediedtoo.com. I recommend you read the books, then listen to the respective episodes to get a powerful feel for the widowed author. For me, that’s a selfish pleasure I get from reading the book, then hearing and seeing the author live! Thanks for listening. Links are below. Book 1  Boldly Into The Darkness: Living with Loss, Growing with Grief & Holding onto Happiness by Autumn Toelle-Jackson This link above is to Autumn Toelle-Jackson's website with resources and her book. Autumn's Podcast Episodes: 43  44  45  46  Book 2 the rebellious WIDOW: A Practical Guide to Love and Life After Loss by Jill Johnson-Young, LCSW Jill Johnson-Young's website Jill's website has tons of resources. Jill's Podcast Episodes: 51  52  53 Book 3 The Good Widow: A Memoir of Living with Loss by Jennifer Katz, PhD Jenny Katz's link takes you to her website where you'll find her book, blog, and discussion guide. Jenny's Podcast Episodes: 65  66  67  68 Book 4 Getting Naked Again—Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You’ve Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted by Judith Sills. PhD Getting Naked Again link goes to Amazon. Happy reading and listening! And if you haven't already... Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

My Spouse Died Too

Episode 69: Book Recommendations for The Widowed

The psychic prediction that came true—Is this mere coincidence? Listen and decide for yourself. After the death of her husband Tris, Jenny describes her first romantic kiss—what she didn’t feel, but what she felt. All of a sudden, he got possessive. A switch flips and jerk behavior ensues. The ethical slut: defense of a slutty widow.  This references the poly community (polyamory is the practice of, or desire for, intimate relationships with more than one partner, with the informed consent of all partners involved). Jenny brings this up because if you were in love with your spouse when he or she died, in a sense, you carry that relationship with you. Like a polyamorous relationship.  Profound heartfelt discussion. Coffee with Bruce: first date number thirty-six. Is he the last first date?  And there’s plenty more! The link to order Jenny’s book The Good Widow - A Memoir of Living with Loss and the blog website is below. If you are a member of the My Spouse Died Too community email list, you’ll get the links in your Behind-The-Scenes email. Jennifer Katz's website, blog, and book discussion questions: https://www.thegoodwidow.com. Bullets The First Kiss--Not With Tris Couch Talk (Like Pillow Talk) He Got Possessive The Ethical Slut Poly Community Date Number Thirty-Six Coffee With Bruce He Brought Flowers, Then He Moved In The 100% Accurate Psychic Prediction Wholehearted Living Openness To The Unexpected Thanks for listening. In case you haven't listened to other parts, here are links for Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Episode 68: The Good Widow (4 of 4)

Why Jenny feels guilty and embarrassed (about most of her book). Jenny goes on thirty-six first dates. More thoughts on psychic healing. Widowed with stepkids. Your spouse is gone, will your stepkids drift away? The problem with perfectionism. Critical emoji texting etiquette: This emoji will get you into trouble or into fun. I read Jenny’s essay How To Date A Widow. It’s a true tutorial I believe anyone considering dating a widow should read, and there are lessons here for all of us (male or female). The shame-filled fairytale we are raised to believe. You know how people say "things always work out?" But what do they mean by work out?  Jenny brilliantly reframes what it means. And there are tons more. The link to order Jenny’s book The Good Widow - A Memoir of Living with Loss and the blog website is below. If you are a member of the My Spouse Died Too community email list, you’ll get the links in your Behind-The-Scenes email. Jennifer Katz's website, blog, and book discussion questions: https://www.thegoodwidow.com. Bullets Guilty And Embarrassed Psychic Healing Camp Widow He Should Be Here! Sunny The Psychic (Sister Vickey's Medium) Counter Factual Thinking Will Your Step Kids Disappear? Biological Link Fallacy Perfectionism Problem Asking My Daughter For Permission First Date: Crying There And Back DWTFYWTD (F-Bomb In There) Reconstructing My Narrative Thirty-Six First Dates Do Men Only Look At Pictures? Shame Filled Fairytale Emoji Etiquette--Got Eggplant? How Things Workout--Please Define Workout Thanks for listening. Join us for final part 4 of 4. In case you haven't listened, here are links for Part 1 and Part 2. Other links mentioned in this current episode:  Episode 11 Three Weddings (My sister Vickey is guest co-host) Episode 40: I Found Another Soulmate. Then He Died. Camp Widow Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Episode 67: The Good Widow (3 of 4)

I read essays from Jenny’s book The Good Widow - A Memoir of Living with Loss. In one essay, titled Bone Cold, Jenny musters the courage to expose her innermost thoughts—pure raw vulnerability. When I ask Jenny, you’ll hear her explain what was really going on when she wrote the piece. You might wonder if Jenny’s a masochist. Jenny the psychologist sees a psychic— are psychic mediums helpful or are you playing with fire? Brutal self-punishment. How we conflate health and weight. Why angry Jenny exercised like a meth head. Jenny’s crazy weight loss. Daughter Maddy’s first violin recital without Daddy. I read the essay A Letter to Grief (you need to sit for this). Feeling permanently incomplete. Why and how Jenny now expresses her feelings, compliments, and appreciation with conviction. Valentine’s Day regrets. The hugest betrayal. And lots more. The link to order Jenny’s book The Good Widow - A Memoir of Living with Loss and the blog website is below. If you are a member of the My Spouse Died Too community email list, you’ll get the links in your Behind-The-Scenes email. Jennifer Katz's website, blog, and book discussion questions: https://www.thegoodwidow.com.  Bullets Bone Cold Conflation: Weight Loss=Good Health? How To Exercise Like Meth Heads Fear and Loathing in Rochester Angry and Self-Punishing First Recital Without Daddy M.C Escher A Letter To Grief Reconfigured and Reshaped: Death FX Permanently Incomplete No More Slack! How The World Is Now Super Clarity Hold Nothing Back The Time Is Now, Express With Intent The Tricky Grief Group Judgy Jenny. LOL The Hugest Betrayal Thanks for listening. Join us for part 3 of 4. If you haven't listened to part 1 here's the link. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Episode 66: The Good Widow (2 of 4)

Widowed guest co-host Dr. Jennifer Katz joins us. Dr. Katz is a tenured Professor of Clinical Psychology at the State University of New York at Geneseo. Dr. Katz just published her book: The Good Widow - A Memoir of Living with Loss. Dr. Katz goes by Jenny. It’s August 2018, Jenny and her husband Tris have a fifteen-year-old daughter, Maddy, and a twenty-seven-year-old son, Jonah. Two relaxed weeks before Jenny’s university work starts full-force for fall, Jenny and daughter Maddy go out for an early-morning breakfast. Life is good. After breakfast, they meet one of Jenny’s former students for coffee.  While enjoying coffee, Jenny sees a text from her husband and the text says “May be having heart attack. Called 911. Ambulance on the way.” Jenny and Maddy dash from coffee to car, to hospital, expecting to see Tris alive in the ICU. Instead, Jenny and Maddy are placed in a tiny dull private waiting room— where doctors deliver a diagnosis, prognosis, or finality. Eventually, a medical resident and social worker enter to deliver the news. “I’m sorry, your husband died. He seemed to have had a heart attack. We were unable to revive him although we tried everything we could.” Jenny is catapulted into the eye of a widow’s hurricane. You know I don’t bring authors onto the podcast unless I’ve read their book, and feel their words can bring value and healing to you, my dear listener. The Good Widow delivers exponentially! Jenny’s crystal clear prose is gorgeous and gut-wrenching. From death to dating, Jenny bares her heart—the vulnerable, the private, and the raw. And there are blessings in her book. Just one example, for me it’s laced with kindly convicting lessons on how to treat your spouse so you both enjoy a love-filled and intimate relationship ’til death do you part. Jenny details how Tris treated her and communicated with her. I took too much for granted when my spouse was alive. I can’t change my past. I can’t control the future. But I can still learn from others and live a more fulfilled life. Thank you Tris for being a role model. I had such an exhilarating time, Jenny and I talked for hours and there’s so much we didn’t cover. The links to order Jenny’s book and blog website are below. If you are a member of the My Spouse Died Too community email list, you’ll get the links in your Behind-The-Scenes email. Jennifer Katz's website, blog, and book discussion questions: https://www.thegoodwidow.com.  Bullets Happy Birthday Jenny Deathiversary Toasts The Weird Man--He Became My Husband The Cannolis I'm Infertile...Go Home He Died. How Am I Suppose To Be A Parent? Courting Lessons He's Trauma Man--What I Was Wrong About I Have A Short Life Expectancy Celebrate Hard Post Traumatic Growth The Breakfast Text Grief Is Unforgiving Feeling Seen Back To Work In Two Weeks Feeling Like A Liar--An Imposter The Empathy Meter No Sleep For Nine Months You Can't Handle The Truth! The Saddest Thing The Practical Fantasy Hokey Woo-Woo Bone Cold Thanks for listening. Join us for part 2 of 4.  Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Episode 65: The Good Widow (1 of 4)

Didn't the world stop when your spouse died? Letting go of friends and family--even if only temporarily. Since your spouse's death, are you more empathic or less or both? Glimpses of how Julie and I parent our respective kids without their respective Dad or Mom.  Hint: It's not easy.  There's no do-over.  And sometimes, you have to keep your mouth shut. Julie's engaged without a wedding date.  Why? Julie reveals the real reason. Can this be worked out? Is sabotage on the horizon? Okay, so Julie's engaged, but has she and John had the critically important conversation about finances? Julie talks about giving grace. A great lesson for me. After we recorded, I researched the concept of giving grace. It's hard for me. But it's meaningful and beautiful.  Finding beauty in life's messiness--if you are open to it. What is Julie's worst-case scenario? Marriage is hard, Do you give up one person's dreams over another?  I the journey of finding a new love worth it? And so much more! Julie's prior show and God winks serendipity interview links are below the Bullets. Bulletz How Is The World Not Stopping? Empathy, More or Less Magic Words--They Don't Work Anymore Not Sweating The Small Stuff Anymore Your Kids Have To Experience Tough Things Why Don't My Kids Call More? Engaged, But No Wedding Date? Give Grace--Here's Why Trust Issues Trying-Working-Staying In Love Isn't Easy It's So Messy--Life. Worst Case Scenario Is Finding New Love Worth It? Thanks for listening. Julie's God winks interview link here. Julie's Once-Upon-A-Time story past episodes and blog links: Episode 8: Out, Damned Spot! Episode 9: Too Soon? Julie's Blog Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Episode 64: On Bended Knee (3 of 3)

Julie and the supernatural hummingbirds--can you find comfort in supernatural signs. Are they God sent, serendipity, or something else? Julie and her fiancé John courageously move into a new house together.  Fearing adult kid mutinous protest, can Julie and John figure out how to celebrate their first Thanksgiving and Christmas like one big happy family?  Or does it turn into a cluster-f? Julie reveals her biggest hang-up. Julie is the outsider in fiancé John's decades-old social circle. Will John's friends accept Julie? Does Julie compete with John's late spouse? John's late spouse was also named Julie. Your late spouse's family drifts away. Now what? Feeling abandoned? Orphaned? Got Resilience?  How widowhood refines you. And you'll hear about Julie's peculiar PTSD. Freaky. And lots more! Julie's prior show and God winks serendipity interview links are below The Bullets. The Bullets Supernatural Hummingbirds Packing Two Houses Thanksgiving Christmas Challenge Signs, Coincidences, And Comfort The Late Spouse Rooms Julie's PTSD Finding Common Ground With His Adult Kids Shifting Friends I'm The Outsider Late Spouse Competition Abandoned and Orphaned? Resiliency--How Hard Times Refine Kids Mortality Worries Thanks for listening. Julie's God winks interview link here. Julie's Once-Upon-A-Time story past episodes and blog links: Episode 8: Out, Damned Spot! Episode 9: Too Soon? Julie's Blog Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Episode 63: On Bended Knee (2 of 3)

Julie Metzger returns and pulls back the curtains for you to see the messiness and beauty in life. Exhausted from years of holding and lifting everybody else up, who’s holding Julie up? Who holds you up? Vibes about people—how Julie trusts her gut. Julie’s zero-calorie vampire tendencies. Julie the Olympic Hugger. Are adult kids sabotaging your new life? Netflix and Chillin'—Hmmm? Wait, is Julie getting married? God-winks, serendipity, reincarnation, and more! Bullets Vibes--A Woman's Intuition Vampire Diaries Best Hugger Gold Medal Maya Angelou Was I Running Away? What The Therapist Said Engaged? Fake Julie--Hurtful Words Netflix And Chillin' Thanks for listening. Julie's God winks interview link here. Julie's Once-Upon-A-Time story past episodes and blog links: Episode 8: Out, Damned Spot! Episode 9: Too Soon? Julie's Blog Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Episode 62: On Bended Knee (1 of 3)

Does widowhood define you? A therapist told me that’s not so healthy. But when you first meet someone new, how do you introduce yourself? What are your biggest widow fears? Here’s ours. Quirky sleeping habits (when no one else shares your bed). What kind of pity might you have for couples with problems? Especially when they choose not to seek professional help? I reconcile with past issues I didn’t resolve with my spouse. Now, because I'm widowed, the best I can do is forgive, release and move on. But my friends still have a chance to fix their marital problems—why won’t they? The widow card—have you played it to your advantage? Hope-filled words from Sherri. Your spouse is dead, and sometimes you might feel…liberated because now you do things your way. Feeling guilty? Sherri did. But she tells us how things are today. And there’s much more… Bulletz Quirky Bedroom Habits Seven Years In--Daily Routine A Simple Hope-filled Message Life Just Gets Easier--Define Easier Grief In A Jar Glad to Meet You--I'm Widowed! Shared Fear--Not Anymore Fear Of Getting Old Alone Guilty Liberation Playing The Widow Card Thanks for listening. Sherri's past episodes: 1 Just Yank The Weeds 6 Mr. Mom and the Prom Dresses 26 Pain Lessens Over Time (1 of 2) 27 Pain Lessens Over Time (2 of 2) Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Episode 61: Widowed, Single, and Happy? (3 of 3)

Seven years ago, while on a phone call with his boss, Sherri’s husband Greg suddenly died. Sherri wants to call the boss and ask about that call. Can I convince Sherri to call Greg’s boss while we record? Sherri reveals why you won’t find a framed picture of her boyfriend in her new house. Facebook problems for the widowed—heed this warning before your pic is plastered or tagged on Facebook. Does Sherri have spies surveilling her boyfriend? Angry make-up sex. Have you ever had any? Definition and example. Is there a way out of love where both people are okay with it? And more… Bulletos No Boyfriend Pictures In My House Facebook--Tag, You're It! Sherri's Spies--The Grapevine My Parents Love My Boyfriend--What They Don't Know Angry Make-Up Sex Does Uncertainty Make Us Settle for a Mediocre Mate? Our Last Bear Hug Before He Died Do You Have The Courage To Reach Out? Telling Your Kids About Dates Is There An Easy Way Out Of Love For Both? How Do You Treat Dishonesty? He Ordered Me Another Glass Of Wine  Thanks for listening. Join us for the final part 3.   Sherri's past episodes: 1 Just Yank The Weeds 6 Mr. Mom and the Prom Dresses 26 Pain Lessens Over Time (1 of 2) 27 Pain Lessens Over Time (2 of 2) Jill Johnson-Young's Book The Rebellious Widow. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Episode 60: Widowed, Single, and Happy? (2 of 3)

Seven years ago Sherri’s husband Greg suddenly died. Today, Sherri lives alone. Can you be single, widowed, and happy? Consequences if you remarry before age 60 (if you are eligible for American social security retirement benefits). Is Sherri’s current relationship like high school—on-again-off-again-on-again-off-again? We unravel some complexities of Sherri’s current romantic life. Can you enjoy the moment, or do you dwell on the future? How do you measure love? Setting boundaries so no one gets pissy—at least not too pissy. And a whole lot more. Bulletsssss 3-2-1 Margarita Widowed, Single, and Happy? If You Re-Marry Before Sixty (U. S. Social Security Reality) Dating Like a High Schooler--On Again, Off Again. Enjoy The Moment. Can You? How Do You Measure His Love? Boyfriend Boundaries With Daughters When You Shouldn't Sit On His Lap Sexy Cat Costume--Choker Included Thanks for listening. Join us for part 2.   Sherri's past episodes: 1 Just Yank The Weeds 6 Mr. Mom and the Prom Dresses 26 Pain Lessens Over Time (1 of 2) 27 Pain Lessens Over Time (2 of 2) Jill Johnson-Young's Book The Rebellious Widow. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Episode 59: Widowed, Single, and Happy? (1 of 3)

Barry bares his heart and shares his biggest fear. Might this be your fear too? How Barry thinks he comes across on first dates. In other words—why Barry really thinks his first dates don’t usually lead to second dates. The sting of rejection. This has nothing to do with transplants. But finding love again requires taking risks—and that means facing uncertainty—the fear of rejection. We talk about this in terms of unhappy vs. uncertain. Because according to my unreferenced research, most people choose unhappiness versus uncertainty. Do you choose certain muted contentment and suffering versus uncertain potential joy and beauty? Knowing what you have might seem manageable—even if you’re miserable vs. the unknown—you know the unknown is risky and scary, but that’s where you have the hope and chance to discover the beauty, meaning, and love. Barry Reads two poems. I’ll attach those in the members-only email. Sign-up at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com The deep memory power of scent—the smell of your spouse’s shampoo, cologne, and my Mexican Mom’s flour tortillas. And so much more. Bulletos Barry's Biggest Fear Coming Across Desperate 12 Rules of Life--Jordan B. Peterson Finding the Beauty in Life Test vs. Failure--Do Semantics Ease Pain? Poem Reading: Strawberries More Rejection Soon Unhappy vs. Uncertain Perfect Moments Poem Reading: Daydreamin' (Warm Red Wine) You're Worthy Because You're Alive Organ Donor Card Wisdom From Thailand Thanks for listening.  Links for Part 1 and Part 2 of this series.  Barry's past episodes with his Once-Upon-A-Time story: The Phoenix is a Poet - Parts 1,2, and 3. https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-35-the-phoenix-is-a-poet https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-36-the-phoenix-is-a-poet-2-of-3 https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-37-the-phoenix-is-a-poet-3-of-3 Episode 7, Scent of a Woman: https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-7-scent-of-a-woman Listen to the first 90 seconds. Ted Talk: What a sex worker can teach us about human connection--Nicole Emma.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7xLfeTytns Jordan B. Peterson book 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos  Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Episode 58: You’re Worthy Because You’re Alive (3 of 3)

Barry’s face glows with promise and hope when he explains what one thing he’s working on—building the rest of his life around—where he finds meaning and beauty. You’ll also hear about Barry’s ninety-day date-cycle. How Barry landed on the roof of a barn. The frustration of six first dates (and no 2nd dates), and what Barry thinks it reveals. How much should you share on a first date—like a liver transplant? Dark humor for coping. When to go dutch--this might surprise you. How Barry manages deep dark depression with this life or death trade-off. And plenty more. Bulletasos How Much Do I Share? Six First Dates The Biggest Nut Got Nothing In Common? I Landed On The Roof Of A Barn! The "Still" Word--Why I Don't Like It Celibate By Choice Dark Humor Helps Again Who Pays? Liver And Onions You're Alive Again A F&%$ing Ray Of Sunshine What I'm Building My Life Around Absence Of Love--What I Feel Hope--There's Love Out There Again Missing Emotional Intimacy   Barry's past episodes with his Once-Upon-A-Time story: The Phoenix is a Poet - Parts 1,2, and 3. https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-35-the-phoenix-is-a-poet https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-36-the-phoenix-is-a-poet-2-of-3 https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-37-the-phoenix-is-a-poet-3-of-3 Listen to the first 90 seconds. Ted Talk: What a sex worker can teach us about human connection--Nicole Emma.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7xLfeTytns Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Episode 57: You're Worthy Because You're Alive (2 of 3)

Widower poet Barry Johnson returns! I first met Barry when we recorded about a year ago. Just four months before we recorded, Barry was almost dead. Three months before that recording, Barry’s life was saved by a liver transplant. In this episode, Barry makes a confession—I urge you to listen with compassion and empathy. Barry bares his heart about his depression-where it comes from-rough stuff. Is Barry still pissed at God? How work helps Barry cope. Barry reads his poem. And Barry’s personal demon: being unworthy of love. And lots more. Bullets Feeling Good, Finally New Pony Tail Still Pissed at God? Don't Waste This Gift Depression Strikes Back Confession The Thai Judgment-Free Chat Room Quarantined: I Hated Being Alone Sex Worker Ted Talk  How Work Helps Poem Reading: Grief Never Changes Thanks for listening. Links: Barry's past episodes with his Once-Upon-A-Time story: The Phoenix is a Poet - Parts 1,2, and 3. https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-35-the-phoenix-is-a-poet https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-36-the-phoenix-is-a-poet-2-of-3 https://myspousediedtoo.libsyn.com/episode-37-the-phoenix-is-a-poet-3-of-3 Ted Talk: What a sex worker can teach us about human connection--Nicole Emma.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7xLfeTytns Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Episode 56: You're Worthy Because You're Alive (1 of 3)

What I’ve learned by doing more than fifty My Spouse Died Too podcast episodes. Not all-inclusive, just a taste of what I’ve discovered by talking for hours and hours with courageous widowed guest co-hosts. You’ll hear my self-accusations, personality quirks, views on life and death. How I make deeper connections with just about anybody. How to find gold in a conversation. How to listen better. And I’ll suggest a resource, if you take simple action, quickly changes your life in a profound way.  And more. Bulletos What I Learned My Spouse's Death Seems So Long Ago People Die Everyday (Neville Longbottom) How To Create Deeper Connections Sometimes I'm Wrong How I Get Value From Every Guest Judgmental-Me-Yikes! How To Listen Better Learn To Uncover The Unknown How To Liberate Yourself Thanks for listening. Links to mentioned episodes and resources are below. Book: Never Split The Difference--Chris Voss Sister Vickey Episode 11 "Three Weddings" Barb Flynn Episode 13 "I Love You Too, Babe" Emeric Solo Episode 39 "Macho Man Truth About Crying" Autumn Toelle-Jackson Episode 43 "Boldly Into The Darkness" Jill Johnson-Young Episode 51 "The Rebellious Widow" Tawny Platis Episode 54 "Comedian Widow: How Dark Humor Eases The Pain" Because you shouldn't have to journey alone, join me in the My Spouse Died Too community email list for members-only benefits: Behind-the-scenes commentary gives you deeper insight--helps you heal. Episode alerts so you'll know when a new episode is ready. Updates on past podcast guests because their journeys continue too. Plus more thoughts, resources, and random widowed journey stuff I discover. And it's the best way to contact me. Because you shouldn't have to journey alone. Sign-up now at https://www.myspousediedtoo.com. Hope. Heal. Find love again. ~ Emeric My Spouse Died Too podcast, images, logos, artwork copyright © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary. Music and lyrics © 2019-2021 by Emeric McCleary and Elena McCleary

Episode 55: What I Learned (by doing the podcast)

The My Spouse Died Too podcast gives you hope, so you can heal, find love again, and give grief the middle finger. You're not alone, because My Spouse Died Too. My name is Emeric McCleary. I'm your host. Join me and our widowed guests. This ain't your Grandma's grief group!

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My Spouse Died Too

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