The party learns from a kindly spidermother that the pixies have been horning their way into the wood, jacking up rents and driving out the legacy residents. Honeydew learns that magical root-ink cannot but produce pro-pixie propaganda from his pen. Delving into this tuber dungeon, our heroes vow here as always to defeat the Gentrifier.

No Rangers Allowed

Episode 43: Decolonizing the Literary Canon

Our heroes end banditry in the countryside using the traditional method, rousing debate about the working class! With the bandits redirected, the party attends to more pressing matters: learning sick spells, summoning even cooler cats, and getting insanely high. How high? Wake up in the forest surrounded by chittering spider people high.

Episode 42: Dopethrone

Bernie and Honeydew creep on Aioli with their characteristic brand of subtlety. BJ and Ven set spears to face some suspiciously powerful highwaymen. Will our heroes reunite in time to defeat these foes in unison? Do our heroes ever do anything in unison actually?

Episode 41: Level 12 Ruffians

The party is split in two, divided by a strange wall of mist that no one else seems to recognize. Honeydew and Bernie have a nice vacation with a dinosaur. BJ and Ven find Fatgris, open a door in the worst possible way, and prepare for battle with roofie bandits.

Episode 40: Mistified

Impositions from the outside world remind the bozos that they have a lot of jobs to do, and they spend some time figuring out the order they should do them. Imbued with new resolve, they march off to find Fatgris and the Azure Company only to immediately be split three ways on silly escapades. Honeydew's cow obsession begins in earnest.

Episode 39: The Girl From Empanada

The gang returns to literally sleepy Tumford only to face an infestation of g-g-g-g-ghosts! BJ is possessed and the only cure is Honeydew smashing him with a flaming Donghammer. Shrug considers historical diamond dust production. Bald Wendol is faithless towards his cabbages, and then makes a stupid deal with Honeydew that ends up consuming his character for like the next 20 sessions.

Episode 38: The Bozos Are Back In Town

In the long-awaited return of Shrug's wield campaign, two lost souls wander around a tower while being manipulated by magical objects. Also the objects are alive and being played by the same people in real life. It's not as confusing as it sounds, I promise. Look forward to extreme beach volleyball against a titan, people turning into dragons, lots of genital-related puns thanks to a certain barbarian, and a pipe-who-is-also-a-stoner fulfilling his lifelong dream of...getting really high.

Episode 37.5: Wield, Part 2

The gang's well-deserved victory lap. Mab the Pieromancer stays behind in now idyllic Chetverg, home to the triple race alliance. Magic items abound. Bartholomew imbibes the light of wisdom. The party prepares to return to home planet Digna. They don't know where they will be or how long it's been, but they know one thing: be excellent to each other. Party on dudes!

Episode 37: Good Vibes Administration

The... Barty Party? Yeah, we gotta work on that -- resolves elf/fish tensions, at both the vulgar and elite levels. Work is completed on an obscene siege float. Captain Cha delivers a rousing speech of comraderie and fraternity, throwing our heroes at a sea of robot elves and their twisted vegan commander. There's only one way this can end: crushed by a statuesque elf butt.

Episode 36: The Battle of Fort Chetverg

Boy, this episode seems short! you might say. And you'd be entirely right! I screwed up. I screwed up big! But the party didn't. They did great. They rubbed a cat on a beautiful man to save the soul of elvenkind.

Episode 35: Tears In Rain

An evening bookended by birds. Three separate huge frickin' birds. In the middle, the party melts plastic materials to find magic items, we find out that the late Haesto was a mangaka, and shrug gets horny for Christopher Meloni. I guess also the gang frees an elf goddess and finds out a huge amount of world-shattering information but that's not as important.

Episode 34: The Birdening

The party founds an impromptu clan and picks gamertags in order to play a game with a guy who is definitely not Jokkmokk. The Official Office Space Roleplaying System turns out to be a subtle commentary on eco-gnomics and the basic injustice of wage slavery which is also necromancy. Bernie's full name is Bearnaise Anders. Then there are some problems with a ladder.

Episode 33: Pearls Before Swine

Anti-illusion haircuts are tough on an edge, so a quest for a whetstone leads our heroes into the kitchen of the skinking club, where BJ finally defeats his hangover with the aid of a magical spring. A harrowing encounter with a staircase leads to a not so harrowing encounter with a giant and not terribly verbal moth. Finally, catching up with an old friend leaves Ven with hair that's the envy of the 'hood. Also, a Wilhelm scream competition and Sex-type Pokemon are weak to Bug.

Episode 32: Ladies Love Cool Ven

An old friend delivers a passive-aggressive judgment upon the party's less than perfect ally retention rate. Honeydew handles his snake so expertly it'd make Moses blush. The gang goes down a reliquary K-hole and ends up teaching a hungry beast the meaning of explicit consent, but not before learning how to skink in the traditional halfling fashion. Bernie's real cagey about her past, for some reason, the little imp.

Episode 31: Quis Mingit Ipsos Minges

The party considers some bizarre physiologies, starting with a 90's starlet alzabo-Frankenstein and ending with Halfling cloacas. Eventually they stop goofing around and enter the mind palace, which turns out to be completely built out of elves. Allegedly this isn't a sex thing. BJ and Honeydew get completely blasted, thus transmorphing a literal sleeping giant first into Guy Fieri and then into Tex Wasabi.

Episode 30: Dungeons & Diners & Dragons & Dives

Dungeons 'n Dragons, house ruled to death, as played by weird and weary videogame snobs. Starring a desertwalking Zoroastrian dwarf druid; a backwoods halfling elftaku, master of banjo, jaw harp and double flute; an emo cat-summoning death cleric; and a filthy, feral anarcho-syndicalist barbarian. A Selectbutton Gaiden podcast. Join us at www.selectbutton.net Radical show icon by art subgenius @BachelorSoft

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No Rangers Allowed

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