Ep 55: Seasons Come & Go But Yom Tov Never Changes & Shabbos Is On The Way! Dreading Yom Tov, is this where we are at? The holidays are tough for singles. Avery & IJ discuss the challenges. Shabbos is discussed by the Shidduch Podcast crew. 1) The worst yom tov to be single? 2) Getting suggestions by your local shul family friend 3) Programs Programs Programs 2)Going to the park 3) What is Shabbos like for single guys 4) What is Shabbos like for single gals 5) Too much time with the fam? 6) Should Shabbos break the relationship? 7) Spending Shabbos at their house? 8) Do you tell them Yumtif was actually bad? 9) Getting meals 10) Arranging meals 11) Inviting guests --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/support

Nobody Talks Shidduchim

Ep 55: Seasons Come & Go But Yom Tov Never Changes & Shabbos Is On The Way!

In ep 54 the NTS crew with Meghan discusses hashkafa. We label it, we box it and we subject the hashkafic orientations out there. Just because We do this, doesn’t mean there’s less to a person. But in shidduchim it’s important to identify where you stand on things. What’s important to bring up, what should be brought up and what may just be ok to wait on. 1) TV in the house 2) Labels & that darn Box 3) Throw away: my way is the right way 4) Black hat: they do, they did, the don’t, they can’t 5) Zionistic 6) TV and TV in the house 7) Sending your kids to white shirt or co ed yeshiva 8) What community do we want to live in 9) Is how you observe Shabbos a hashkafic difference? ie how you want to run a Shabbos table, going swimming, wife holds of the eruv 10) How much do we listen to the families rov? 11) Do we put a filter on the house internet? Kids phones. Etc. 12) Making aliyah 13) Learning 14) Is Hashkafa non-binary a thing? 15) Music --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/support

54: Fantastic Hashkafas and How to Find Them [Hashkafa Part 2]

Yona & Chani join Avery to have a sophisticated and nuanced discussion over the many differences and similarities those of us share when it comes to our hashkafos in Shidduchim.  We tackle the concept of dating someone based on various stereotypes such as wearing a black hat, davening in Young Israel's and preferring a TV in your home.   1) Defining religious orientation 2) Black hat 3) Zionistic 4) TV and TV in the house 5) Sending your kids to white shirt or co ed yeshiva 6) What community do we want to live in 7) Is how you observe Shabbos a hashkafic difference? ie how you want to run a Shabbos table, going swimming, wife holds of the eruv 8) How much do we listen to the families rov? 9) Do we put a filter on the house internet? Kids phones. Etc. 10) Making aliyah 11) Learning --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/support

EP 53: Hashkafa Matters [Part 1]

EP 52: Don't Ask Me If I'm Shomer #3 [Part 3: The Rabbi Strikes Back] Navigating the relationship w/shomer in mind. Halachic & Rabbinic perspectives of being shomer negiah. In part 3 of shomer we wrap it up with Rabbi AY’s encounters as a Rabbi & halachic perspective. We also discussed some new aspects of Shomer Negiah, which we did not touch up on in Part 1 and 2. Torah perspectives, community outlines and IJ’s favorite…is breaking shomer the same as kosher and Shabbos? 1. Tznius affects on Shomer Negiah 2. Why are the shidduch dating guys always blamed?? 3. Is there a way to really tell if someone is shomer? 4. Kosher & Shabbos is very diffrent than Shomer 5. Past relationships that you weren’t shomer in: to tell or not to tell! 6. How can you feel intimately connected in a shomer relationship 7. What are ways to bring up gedarim/boundaries without offending the other side 8. Does being shomer fall under the category of tznius 9. Can you judge someone for their past experiences shomer or not? 10. What does the Torah want from a young healthy couple, is it closeness to each other (which comes from Intimacy) or closeness to G-d? 11. It’s not that the Torah doesn’t work, it’s the community that doesn’t work 12. Better for gals to break it whether they are frum or modern? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/support

EP 52: Don't Ask Me If I'm Shomer #3 [Part 3: The Rabbi Strikes Back]

In this week's episode we bring in Paige, a long time dater and resident expert on shomer negiah for the female daters perspective. Having been in her own long term relationships before, we appreciated hearing why she is complexly pro staying shomer until marriage. Some girls call in as well to weigh in on the issues. We also discussed some new aspects of Shomer Negiah, which we did not touch up on in Part 1. Such as; is it worse to be the person who initially breaks or the person who elevates? Does being with someone before you are married give you insight in to any potential compatibility issues in the future? Who can you go to to discuss the difficulties you are having staying shomer in your relationships? As well, as many other enumerating subjects  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/support

EP 51: Don't Ask Me If I'm Shomer [Part 2: The Girl Dater’s Take]

Ep 50: Don’t Ask Me If I’m Shomer The NTS Crew: IJ, Avery & Ahuva put all things Shomer Negiah on the table with this series opener. While we all follow the laws of SN, we explore the topic in more relative terms to us millennial & gen Z daters….hey we all enjoy the Shomer 5. 1) Defining Shomer Negiah 2) Tell us about how it played a role in your life, what it means to you... 3) Why is there such a majority of Shidduch daters who hold Shomer 4) What are the benefits of Shomer in Shid 5) When to have a discussion about being shomer or not? 6) Emotional & Brain Chemical reactions to touching 7) Are you really doing something wrong, halacha aside...well sorta? 8) Does it change for guys when you commit? 9) Does it change for girls close to engagement? 10) Who is it more difficult for, gender-wise? 11) We all want to hug & cuddle is there a way to do it? 12) Establishing proper boundries or gedorim to stay shomer 13) Are there any negatives to actually holding SN? 14) The Jewish Guilt 15) Why do we feel soo guilty when it’s in our DNA & innate for us to do so 16) Can you tell the Shadchan you are planning on breaking Shomer? 17) Who generally actually starts the “breaking shomer”, the one to initiate? 18) Is it worst for the person to start or to elevate? 19) Dating someone who does not want to be shomer and you do. Can it work? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/support

Ep 50: Don’t Ask Me If I’m Shomer

The NTS Crew sits down with a group of Buchrim to discuss their dating take. These are real yeshiva guys who are still learning, have seder and only wear a blue shirt on purim! BUCHRIM TELL ALL What is the Buchor life like? Do women ever wonder? Do non learners ever wonder? IJ sits down with a group of yeshiva guys (who happen to be his former chevra from yeshiva gedola) and chat. 1) What's it like in yeshiva generally, give the audience an idea of the schedule and ambiance 2) Do you think Yeshiva has prepared you better than your friends who went to college (didn't make learning a priority) 3) How is the process with a shadchan as a buchor (Differences in the modern yeshivish vs. black hat yeshivish world 4) Whats the process like with a Shadchan? 5) What are your biggest 3 struggles with shadchanim? 6) Do you ever get an urge to ask a girl out directly? 7) What can you tell our female audience out there as to what you expect from a dating them? Give them a pointer as to how they can snatch 8) Some of you are older, its frustrating to still be single...how do you still have hope? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/support

Ep 49: The Buchrim Tell All - What happened to all the good guys Part 2

Ep 48: What happened to all of the “good guys” PART 1 Are we setting up our boys to fail?? Where are all the “Good Guys” at?? NTS crew discusses with Mrs. Rissel Naimark about the perplexities of girls and “the community” thinking that there are no more good guys/men/boys. IJ and Avery defend the boys!! It seems that there’s this expectancy for the men in Shidduchim to be able to have a set career, solid twice a day learning Seder as well as being a 3 x a day minyan goer. Is this just conjecture from anecdotal “sources” or is this a real thing that is setting the men and thus women back from finding their Basherts to be with? 1) Guys are amazing and here’s why... 2) Is it just that girls standards are too high 3) Is it fair for the women to judge this? 4) Is it a reason for women to say no or should they work with GUY POTENTIAL. 5) Women want a tangible way of measuring how frum a guy is, plain and simple. 6) Why single men don’t have a steady minyan schedule 7) How our grandparents did it (1 minyan and Mentch’s) 8) Dual household responsibility. Differences of growing up with 2 working parents vs 1. 9) Reverse case: men being very strict with women and tznius 10) Our community pushing men into learning, for as long as they can even without a plan --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/support

EP 48: What happened to all of the “Good Guys”

Episode 47: How to take full advantage of being single. Avery explains all the new things he has found from being single, with Rosie. 1. Pursue your passions (Business, travel, restaurants, career change) 2. Getting closer to G-d 3. Shabbos plans for girls and how to get invited to meals 4. Making all new friends 5. Choosing your new look/wardrobe not having your spouse do it. 6. Working on building a house, apartment, decorating? 7. Getting into shape for your future wedding (barf) 8. Connecting with more people who might have that match 9. Taking time to reflect on how you can be better 10. Not letting your single state define you. What are your other unrelated qualities 11. How can you get out of the “waiting funk” --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/support

Ep 47: How to take full advantage of being single

This week's episode we are joined by the royals, Meghan, Kate and Diana.  We discuss a wide range of topics within what girls are looking for.  Do they like cologne, car door openers, tall guys, short guys, Jewish guys, etc.  The royals give us some really insightful perspective into what the girls actually care about when it comes to finding a husband.  Take a listen, and if you enjoy this podcast and want to get in touch with the show runners make sure to follow us on our Instagram @nobodytalksshidduchim or email us @nobodytalkspodcast@aol.com.  --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/support

Ep 46: What are the girls looking for?

1) Can you trust someone when they tell their breakup story? 2) Why are Jews so bad about giving closer? 3) Psychological affects 4) Chemical imbalances: dopamine & withdrawl 5) A new version of ourselves? 6) My person left, I am not whole 7) Are we hiding behind the shadchan for everything? 8) How do you say it? Meaning What are the exact words? 9) Ever get a mother who did the break up? 10) Backlash: When the shadchan fights back? 11) When you tell the Shadchan one thing and they tell something else to the guy/girl...? 12) How to heal after a break up? 13) Tell me why holding resentment is making you seem small? 14) How to make your breakup mean something? 15) How to properly reflect on the relationship? 16) Forgiveness, how to forgive yourself and your ex --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/support

Ep 45: The Break Up

In this episode IJ & Avery perform a mock interview with each other as if they are the shadchan and client.  We review key items such as how to set the tone with the shadchan?  How to ensure they give you what you are looking for?  When to bring up past relationships? and so much more!  Take a listen and if you enjoy this podcast and find it entertaining send it over to a friend or give us feedback on our instagram @nobodytalksshidduchim or email us nobodytalkspodcast@aol.com --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/support

Ep 44: Getting the Shadchan to give you what you want!

Moving out, moving on and changing up your situation. The helpful tips for moving on from dating burn out, rejection and an almost relationship. 1) Do all singles have to move out of there house? 2) Do you mention it on a resume 3) Do men move out of the house more than women? 4) When your burnt out from dating what do you do? 5) The Shadchan you just worked with for 6 months is done with you, now what? 6) Shadchan life cycle: playcate the shadchan 7) does Going on a vacation do it for ya 8) Moving on from Shidduch cliches and your current game strategy 9) Reorganizing 10) Changing up your dating usuals? New dating places, diffrent girls, etc... 11) Re-assesing your look, style. 12) If it hasn't worked for you all these years why not try something totally different --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/support

Ep 43: Moving Out: The Extreme Makeover Shidduch Edition

Ever blow a date So bad you wanted to forget about it? The NTS Crew, now with Emma (going by Em), conjugate over how daters mess up on dates. This is how you blow a date, badly. 1) Coming late to the date 2) Expectations are destroyed (not like a DOA, cause there's still a chance). 3) Girls falling asleep on dates 4) What to do if the place is closed when you get there 5) The guy not texting back 6) You cannot connect to the date at all, she/he wont give you anything to work with 7) Asking her to pay 8) Ordering the most expensive thing on the menu (9) Talking about your ex 10) Commenting on their appearance too soon 11) Telling them they're career sucks --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/support

Ep 42: How To Blow A Date, Badly

43: Rosie, IJ, Avery and Freidy Goldberger discuss singles mingling at gatherings, socials and singles events. Are they antiquated? Is there something new that singles are brewing? 1) Why haven’t you gone to one? 2) What entices you to actually go to one? 3) Is this “Really cool singles event” really different from the others!!? 4) What’s the conventional program at a singles event? 5) Is it just for extroverts or can it be for introverts as well? 6) Should I go in with a plan or just wing it? 7) Should you break the conventional intro?? 8) Everyone is named Avi, from Brooklyn & is a CPA...can we say other things?? 9) Is it ok if I go alone? 10) Can the girl come over to the guy and introduce themselves?? 11) What if you get stuck with a bad group? 12) What else is there to talk about...asides from the elevator pitch 13) Don’t over take the table!! Never be the one to run the show!! 14) After the event help! 15) It’s always that one girl/guy that everyone wants to go out with! What if that’s you! 16) Last episode I said I didn’t like big ones, I still don’t and here’s why...but here’s also some benefits to it 17) How to end/leave things --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/support

Ep 41: Singles Gatherings and Singles Events

It’s a subject that not too many want to hear or discuss. Nobody Talks Shidduchim is a podcast for those who are facing a true challenge in American Jewish dating. Did we scare you yet? Here you are not alone. There are so many others struggling in Shiduchim and it’s time us singles has a voice for it! Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/shidduchim/support

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Nobody Talks Shidduchim

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