If you don’t wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy. If you don’t rise and shine. If you would rather burrow deep into your bed until the sheets attach to your skin, this episode is for you. Learn the proud history of the American breakfast from notorious breakfast lover Diane, followed by reviews of products to make your morning more delightful. Then our podcasters help a distressed morning diva find peace in coffee. This is Paper News Out Loud. A big ole thank you to all who submitted product ads: Sammy (@SammyMadafiglio) from Queer Dungeoneers (@QueerDungeons) Kyle (@KyleTheTurner) from The M Word (@mwordpod) Crispysteve (@Crispysteve42) Headline: https://priceonomics.com/how-breakfast-became-a-thing/ https://www.mashed.com/131396/5-things-you-should-eat-for-breakfast-and-5-you-should-always-avoid/ Products: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E5LEQVE/ref=aslisstl?&ascsub&linkCode=sl1&tag=bfmaitland-20&linkId=450de12312ef5cb3cc720591289ecdf8 https://www.amazon.com/Hoan-Bagel-Guillotine-Slicer-White/dp/B000HS7JPY/ref=aslisstl?s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1472222902&sr=1-1&keywords=bagel+slicer&linkCode=sl1&tag=bfmaitland-20&linkId=bb25a96f6e411f809cac0dbd559a6602 https://news.dunkindonuts.com/file?fid=56afcab0acae6e374ce05291 Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Perfect-Coffee Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! Support Paper News Out Loud by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/paper-news-out-loud Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/a141b942-8e70-49b9-8a7a-8f4b9be95304 This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Paper News Out Loud

Ep. 35 Weirden Your Horizons

If four horsemen herald the apocalypse, who heralds the winter solstice? That’s right, it’s Florence and Diane. Armed with t-shirt cannons filled to the brim with confetti, hearts full of love, and eyes devoid of pupils, they’ve come knocking on your podcatcher to spread the joy of the solstice. Florence gives you a glimpse of what to expect during the solstice, they cuddle you by the yule log to lull you to sleep with a solstice tale, and Diane helps a listener get the best legal photos of the moon the world has ever seen. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: https://earthsky.org/astronomy-essentials/everything-you-need-to-know-december-solstice Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Photograph-the-Moon Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! Support Paper News Out Loud by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/paper-news-out-loud Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/875c9e5a-d898-47c6-8b11-25500d117bc8 This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Ep. 34 The Solstice Is Nigh

What has two heads and gobbles? Florence and Diane in this week’s post-Thanksgiving episode. Florence answers the big question, “Where did leftovers come from?” while Diane helps a helpless listener fix their cleaning conundrum. A little late for Black Friday, a fresh new stack of classifieds is coming our way. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: https://www.history.com/news/the-curious-history-of-leftovers Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Clean-Your-House-After-a-Wild-Party Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! Support Paper News Out Loud by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/paper-news-out-loud Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/89f6a41d-acbb-4dce-9b9a-9f121a980f1a This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Ep. 33 The Gift That Keeps Giving: Leftovers

Bubble, bubble Diane’s in trouble. It’s Florence’s turn to Maggie cuddle. Happy Halloween from Paper News Out Loud! Only treats from our podcasters today. From the history of jack o’ lanterns to a spooky story to a very thorough walkthrough of proper carving techniques, you’re going to be in a sugar coma before you know it. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: https://www.history.com/topics/halloween/jack-olantern-history Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Trick-or-Treat-Safely Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! Support Paper News Out Loud by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/paper-news-out-loud Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/9e528828-0e77-447f-938f-5f60522e2fd3 This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Ep. 32 One More Halloween Spooktacular

At night when no one else can hear, Diane sings. She sings for gooey, delicious, warm chocolate chip cookies to appear in front of her. When they don’t, she weeps. In this week’s episode, back and better than ever, Diane teaches us about the proud history of chocolate chip cookies. Then Florence reveals to a listener what the secret sauce is to making your own recipes after our podcasters check the classifieds. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: https://www.businessinsider.com/the-chocolate-chip-cookie-was-invented-by-accident-2013-3 Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Your-Own-Recipe Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! Support Paper News Out Loud by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/paper-news-out-loud Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/eb648011-b649-4b48-99d2-c57f1ad057fe This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Ep. 31 I Write Recipes Not Tragedies

Once upon a time, Mars loved Earth so much that they just couldn’t stay away any longer. They moved closer and closer until they gently crashed into the blue planet and destroyed all the life on it. Diane takes us on an intergalactic journey through the mind of Mars and why it is just so darn close. Then our podcasters help us pack and prepare for our trip to the Red Planet. And finally, Florence helps a listener who needs a little help packing lunch. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: https://mars.nasa.gov/allaboutmars/nightsky/mars-close-approach/ Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Plan-Weekly-Meals Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! 

Ep. 30 Close Encounters with Mars and Meal Prepping

In an alternate reality, M&Ms are called A&As. That reality is terrible and people who live there are sad. Florence teaches us about where our favorite candy brands (probably) got their names. Then Diane helps out a lonely listener who just wants a little puppy to love, but before that, our favorite podcasters teach us a delicious and tasty recipe. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: Http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/05/what-the-ms-stand-for-in-mms/ https://www.leaf.tv/articles/the-history-of-the-3-musketeers-candy-bar/ https://www.rewindandcapture.com/why-is-skittles-called-skittles/ https://www.thefactsite.com/2016/01/skittles-history-and-facts.html Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Love-Your-Puppy Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! Support Paper News Out Loud by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/paper-news-out-loud Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/7649c3ee-cb4a-4eda-9c8f-eef37ce5c728 This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Ep. 29 Flower Lemon Mango Power (and puppies)

Guess which podcast just broke the world record for being the most informative podcast?!? Yeah, it wasn’t ours. Probably something put out there by NPR. Anyways, this week Florence teaches us all what we need to know about the Guinness Book of World Records and then some of the whackiest records out there. Then our podcasters bring storytime back again with the tale of a desert and a Tahoe. Finally, Diane gives us tips and tricks about how to break a world record of our own. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: http://www.businessinsider.com/weirdest-world-records-2015-5 https://www.guinnessworldrecords.com/60/throughtheyears.html Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Get-Into-the-Guinness-Book-of-World-Records Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our new network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! To support our cat and overlord, Maggie: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/paper-news-out-loud Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/434f01b7-8777-42c8-9395-df7e9b217ebb This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Ep. 28 Breaking! All! The! Records!

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s Florence and Diane! Our favorite podcasters return after temporarily being lost in time and space with a whole new fount of knowledge to share with their best friends (you all). Diane explains the complicated mechanics of how plane work, and then reveals to us the long awaited results of The Galactic Naming Committee’s movement to rename the moon. We hear all the latest classifieds that were posted in the alley and Florence helps out a listener who is born to rule. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: https://www.explainthatstuff.com/howplaneswork.html Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Become-Prom-Queen Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our new network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/93ad5b88-36f6-41fb-a0b1-acbdb4622ec9 This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Ep. 27 The Galactic Naming Committee Presents...

The actual spooky thing about mountains is how they can read your thoughts, anticipate your every move, and remove you from existence at the snap of their rocky fingers. Maybe ghosts are the things to be scared of in this place. Our podcasters haunt our nightmares with some scary stories from the mountains and beyond. Diane teaches us that the sun is more than just a friendly fireball in the sky. And lastly, Florence helps a ghost who just doesn’t want to encounter other ghosts. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: http://mentalfloss.com/article/75567/ghost-stories-worlds-tallest-peaks Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Encounters-With-Ghosts-and-the-Paranormal Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our new network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/16d19964-fa94-4d00-8676-f5e363263723 This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Ep. 26 Ghost Ecology

Humans allegedly swallow an average eight spiders while sleeping. More alarming, spiders swallow on average eight planets in one sitting when they grow to their full strength. Florence weaves us a web of space conspiracy theories. A very special (slightly deceased) guest joins our podcasters for an interview. And Diane has a trick or two up her sleeve on how to keep those nasty, eight-legged friends out of your home. This is Paper News Out Loud. Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/ And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! Headline: https://science.howstuffworks.com/space-conspiracy-theory6.htm https://www.buzzfeed.com/hilarywardle/in-space-only-italian-radio-operators-can-hear-you-scream?utm_term=.laAA1GYWKK#.vwk0z7PQvv Interview: https://www.britannica.com/biography/Anne-Bonny http://www.zimbio.com/quiz/CKvWoP5M9Bf/What+s+Your+Pirate+Name Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Keep-Spiders-Out-of-Your-House Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Ep. 25 Stars and Death: That's All Space Has to Offer

This episode is dedicated to Wanda, the committed FBI agent assigned to monitor Diane’s activity. Wanda - You’ve been there for us through thick and thin, from inside our phone cameras to the very FitBit on our wrists. Thank you for your years of service. In this episode, Diane enlightens us to how technology is the new Big Brother. Several fresh classified ads blow this way. And Florence helps a listener who just can’t say no to social media. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: [Ways Your Technology is Already Spying on You] (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-03-08/ways-your-technology-is-already-spying-on-you/8334960) Wikihow: [Take a Break From Social Media] (https://www.wikihow.com/Take-a-Break-from-Social-Media) Music by Jake Harrison: [AtthisBeats] (https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats) [Look at our website with them eyeballs] (https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/) And check our the home of our new network: [Almost Better Network] (https://almostbetter.net/) If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Ep. 24 Social Scrolling Through Fitbit Betrayal

Clip this coupon and save 60% on your next podcast listen. Don’t forget to check out our other weekly deals! Florence teaches us about the revival of the farmers’ market. Our podcasters take us on ear-pleasing journey with this week’s community art. And finally, Diane helps out a consumer who’s hitting the grocery store too often. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: [https://www.usda.gov/media/blog/2013/08/7/meet-me-market-evolution-farmers-market] Community art: Why thank you, Rebecca! :[//www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/farmers-markets-68235529/] Wikihow: [https://www.wikihow.com/Save-Money-by-Shopping-Once-a-Month] Music by Jake Harrison: [https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats] Look at our website with them eyeballs: [https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/] And check our the home of our new network: [https://almostbetter.net/] If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers! This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Ep. 23 A Farmer's Market Renaissance Under I-80

Spring has sprung, and we couldn’t be happier! Complete with bunnies and marshmallows and Peeps, oh my! Florence brings the proud history of marshmallows and rabbits to light. Want to see Peep jousting? Check it out here: https://youtu.be/nMmyQF35e8U Or more of a Peep Show kind of listener? Here’s the 2018 winners: https://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/arts/article/20997575/peep-thrills-the-winners-of-the-2018-peeps-diorama-contest Then our podcasters help someone in a sticky, dyeing related situation. Finally, the newscasters share how they get ready for spring. This is Paper News Out Loud. 

Ep. 22 Marshmallow Spring

A hug a day keeps the doctor and possibly demented spirits away! Diane teaches us some healthy tips and tricks. The podcasters read off the latest and greatest classified postings in the alley. Diane takes us away from our troubles and up into the skies for this week’s Adventure in Astronomy. BONUS: A friend submits a tasty recipe that is perfect for any birthday party. This is Paper News Out Loud. Headline: https://brainfodder.org/science-of-hugging/https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/267290.phphttps://health.usnews.com/health-news/he [...]

Ep. 21 Living a Lie: The Blue Moon Chronicles

An absurdist news comedy that just might make you laugh. Come learn how the sun going supernova will impact your week and what to do if your children are magicked into cast iron skillets. Are you wondering how to put the ghosts in ghost peppers? We have the infusion recipe for you. There’s something for everyone on Paper News Out Loud.

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Paper News Out Loud

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