“They need someone outside of their sport to talk to about it. I never want my kids to feel like if they had a bad practice that I’m also going to be mad that they had a bad practice. How can we be that support? We should be their biggest advocate, but that does not mean that we’re marching onto the fields demanding more playing time or more personal attention. That’s a different kind of thing. We need to be making sure that holistically they’re doing ok as a human being. That’s the most important job that we have.” - Shari Medini   Shari Medini is the co-author of Parenting While Working from Home: A Monthly Guide to Help Parents Balance Their Careers, Connect with Their Kids, and Establish Their Inner Strength and the co-owner of AdoreThemParenting.com. Her parenting articles have been published in dozens of print and online publications. Shari’s past experience includes working with children and families in the mental health field, mentoring and speaking as a mindset coach and working as a freelance writer and marketing strategist for companies across the country.   In this episode, Shari and I talk about raising young athletes. Shari is a former collegiate gymnast and is a mind coach. She discusses the role her parents and her experiences as an athlete play into how she’s raising her young athletes. She also shares about her book and what kind of feedback she has received from readers. Listen to her advice for parents of young athletes and what they need to do in July to prepare for youth sports season in the upcoming year.   Resources: Adore Them Parenting Co-author of Parenting While Working from Home: A Monthly Guide to Help Parents Balance Their Careers, Connect with Their Kids, and Establish Their Inner Strength by Karissa Tunis and Shari Medini 

Parenting Peak Performers Podcast

The Sports Parenting Experience with Shari Medini

“As parents, you guys are probably the best monitors of your children’s behavior because you’ve been watching them from the time they were born, and honestly, you’re a better expert on your child than I am so I tend to trust parents on that.” - Dr. Rolando Gonzalez Dr. Rolando Gonzalez is a sports psychiatrist who provides mental health care for children through young adulthood with the Lee Physician Group and Golisano Children's Hospital in Fort Myers, Florida. He previously worked at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and the University of Miami, where he completed his fellowship training in child and adolescent psychiatry. He provides mental health care and treatment for elite and competitive athletes through all competitive levels, including athletes with disabilities. He provides initial consultation with a focus on specialized care that compasses diagnostic clarification, medication management, and individual therapy. He serves on both the Youth and Outreach Committees of the International Society for Sports Psychiatry. In this episode, Rolando and I talk about the difference between sports psychology and sports psychiatry and some of the common disorders he sees among the athletes he works with. We also discuss what parents need to know about traumatic brain injuries and his position on performance enhancing drugs. Join us as he also explains why it’s important for parents to help their child cope with the changes and maintain structure and a routine during the COVID-19 pandemic. Resources: International Society of Sport Psychology (ISSP)’s ​International Journal of Sport & Exercise Psychology Sports Psychiatry: Strategies for Life Balance and Peak Performance by David R. McDuff 

Sports psychiatry with Dr. Rolando Gonzalez

“We’ve asked the kids - do you like it better here now that your parents are outside? And, unfortunately, a lot of them say ‘yes.’” -- Anthony Telford  Anthony Telford spent 9 seasons as a MLB pitcher, but now he’s a father and a coach who works closely with both up-and-coming athletes and their parents.  So how does Anthony perceive the parent-athlete relationship? What are the pandemic restrictions teaching him about his athlete’s relationships with their parents?  Why does he have a Parent Penalty Box at his training facility?  In this episode, Anthony details his journey to and through the MLB as well as his current role as a coach of both young athletes and their parents. This discussion is challenging, convicting, and well worth a listen, so take some notes and be sure to share your perspective with me on Instagram at @sportpsychworks or leave comments at https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact.  About Former MLB Pitcher Anthony Telford  Anthony Telford, a retired MLB pitcher who played for the Baltimore Orioles, the Montreal Expos, and the Texas Rangers over the course of his career in professional baseball. In college he played for San José State University. Today, Anthony has a renown training facility - The Zone - in Tampa Bay, Florida - where he coaches players of all ages and levels. 

On Coaching Parents with Anthony Telford

“You’re a lot more than the sport you play. You’re a human being too, and sometimes that gets lost.” - Nick Buonocore  For a lot of families, their traditional view of sports has changed. What was once a tool for exercise, discipline, and fun is now perceived as a vehicle to college scholarships. The mindsets of athletes, and sports parents, have shifted as a result.  With us today is Nick Buonocore, a former professional athlete and the founder of Reformed Sports Parent, a collective of former coaches and athletes with the mission of providing “information, expertise, and first-hand insight to support responsible decision-making and thoughtful planning for the well-rounded personal development of young athletes.” Join us as we discuss Nick’s athletic history, parenting, and what it means to be a reformed sports parent.  What’s Your Take?  Let us know what you took from today’s episode by contacting Kathy at @sportpsychworks or leave comments at https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact. 

Becoming a Reformed Sports Parent with Nick Buonocore

“I would get nervous for the kids. I wanted them to succeed so much because that’s what I wanted. I hated losing when I was in high school. I didn’t want the kids to feel that. I wanted them to win.” --Scott Eyre  35% on any academic test is a failure. In baseball, batting 300 (or having a 3/10 success rate at the plate) is excellent - even in the MLB.   Former major league baseball pitcher Scott Eyre knows this all too well. The left-handed pitcher played for the Chicago White Sox, Toronto Blue Jays, San Francisco Giants, Chicago Cubs, and Philadelphia Phillies. Eyre played from 1997 - 2009, ending his career on game 6 of the World Series. Eyre won a World Series Championship the year prior with the Phillies, appearing in game 2 with no runs and no hits.  Now, Eyre is a husband with two sons attending Purdue University in the fall. Scott has been a baseball coach since 2011 and is currently continuing his coaching career.   In this episode, Scott and I talk through… His journey to professional baseball  Watching his children play sports after living the professional athlete dream  Being competitive and growing up in an athletically-competent family  Coaching baseball after playing in the Major Leagues  How excellence in baseball is still “failure”   This episode will curb your curiosity about life as a professional athlete while offering powerful insights on parenting and coaching after your own sports career is complete.  Questions? Comments? Let’s talk!   Want to dive deeper into today’s episode? Connect with us on Instagram at @sportpsychworks or leave comments at https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact. 

Scott Eyre on Coaching after Life in Major League Baseball

“When someone tells you who they are or someone tells you what they want, believe them.” -- Jill Wheeler It’s a new year, a new decade, and a new special series for Parenting Peak Performers. We couldn’t be more thrilled about this episode with adventure therapist, speaker, writer, athlete, and yoga instructor, Jill Wheeler. As the founder and director of the Wellfit Institute, Jill combines life coaching and the power of nature to produce impactful adult therapy. Jill is a licensed mental health and licensed professional counselor, who creates transformational and empowering experiences for individuals, groups, and communities in personal and business sectors.  When the new year comes around, we tell ourselves we’ll try new things. Conquering a new task is thrilling, and a great way to build confidence. As parents, we want our kids to feel that success, and when we spot talent in them, we’re quick to take them to tryouts.  But what happens when your teen tells you they don’t want to go?  Today, Jill and I discuss  Expedition mentality  How to make an agreement with your teen about trying something new  The benefits of self-enrollment and empowering your teen to choose  How forced entry into sports can break relationships, motivation, and trust  And so much more!  Keep up with Jill at jillwheeler.com and learn more about Wellfit Girls here.  Let's Talk About It! I love your questions, comments, and reviews. If something in this episode got you thinking, let’s talk about it! Send your questions and comments to @sportpsychworks or  https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact. 

Jill Wheeler on Expedition Mentality & Letting Your Child Choose

“I realized that people needed more than just fitness to reach their health and wellness goals.” --Chris Edwards  How can we be healthy? Really? It’s a question humans have been asking for most of history - and yet, it always seems like there are new quick fixes or conflicting research. During his studies in professional training, Chris Edwards realized that fitness - while vital - isn’t enough to take people to their peak level of health.  So what is? And how can we help our kids get there? Chris believes health and wellness is a family matter, and he gives three tips for success in family health.  1.Everyone has to be on board.  2.Gain an education (don’t worry - Chris will give legitimate resources) 3.Focus on nutrition first.  Information is power, and Chris drops a lot of it in this episode.  About Chris and TriCore Wellness  Chris Edwards is a Fitness and Wellness Professional with over 14 years of experience specializing in personal fitness and wellness management. He holds multiple certifications and achievements in the fitness and wellness industry, is an accomplished competitive powerlifter, and is the owner and founder of TriCore Wellness. TriCore Wellness is a wellness management company that specializes in Personalized Health Coaching. TriCore captures and analyzes information about your Fitness, Nutrition, and Recovery to develop plans, coaching, and analysis for you to achieve any health and wellness goals. Keep the Conversation Going  The episode is over, but the conversation doesn’t have to be. Send me your thoughts or questions about this episode at @sportpsychworks or https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact. 

Chris Edwards on Fitness: Why It’s Vital and Not Enough

How can we keep our kids safe while they play the sports they love?  Today marks the end of Parenting Peak Performer’s 4th season, and as we wrap up, we’re going to pivot away from talking about the coach’s perspective. Instead, we’re closing our season with another vital topic for parents of athletically-involved kids.  Safety.  No incredible athletic achievement is worth it if our kids’ health is at stake.  To help me process how parents can keep their kids safe on the court and field, I’ve brought in Dr. Greg Rubin. Dr. Rubin is a board-certified internal medicine physician with added qualifications in sport medicine. He established and staffs a walk-in clinic in Naples Florida. He’s the co-founder of The Sports Med Review, a website focused on providing open-access information to sports medicine physicians.    In this episode, you’re going to hear Dr. Rubin discuss perhaps the most frequent injury in sports medicine: concussions.  Today, We’re Answering Key Questions about Concussions  What is a concussion? And what is “second impact syndrome?”  How can you identify them?  How should a concussion be treated?  What can parents do to prevent them?  What can we do to speed up recovery?    There’s so much we can do to prevent and treat concussions for young athletes, which is why this episode is absolutely essential for any parent with sports-active children.  Want to join the conversation? Let me know what you like in this episode or what you’re curious about by sending your questions and comments to @sportpsychworks or  https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact.  

Dr. Greg Rubin on Identifying and Treating Sports-Related Concussions

“When I was a high school basketball coach, I wrote down on a napkin one day that a child with confidence will try anything. Whether they succeed or not, they will try. An insecure child will always contract to a place of comfort, a place of security, a place of complacency.”    -Micheal Burt    When it comes to understanding what makes peak performers tick, there’s no one better than Coach Micheal Burt. Burt, a former championship women’s basketball coach, is used to coaching go-getters, so it’s no surprise to learn that his track record is filled with outstanding accomplishments.  The 13x best-selling author of titles like “Person of Interest,” “Million Dollar Follow Up,” and “Inside the Mind of a Monster” also holds the world record for the most speaking engagements in one day: 41. If you’re scratching your head at how anyone can fit 41 talks in a 24 hour period, you’re not alone. Burt has a long list of near-impossible accomplishments that give him compelling stories and keen insights for driving success.  Burt has mastered the art of instilling contagious confidence in those he communicates with. He knows how to “inner engineer” people to win at the highest levels. With deep methodology in coaching the whole person, Burt retired at age 31 to create the coaching program Monster Producer which has quickly grown to over 700 participants around the world. Today Michael talks with us about confidence - what it is, how to build it, and how to get it back when it’s been lost. This conversation speaks to me so deeply because it’s applicable not only to those peak performers were trying to raise, but also to ourselves.  If something in this podcast ignited your confidence, tell me about it. Share what stood out to you through https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact. You can also keep up with Coach Burt on his website at  http://www.coachburt.com or find him on facebook as MICHEALBURT. 

On Confidence - What It Is, How To Build It, and How To Get It Back with Coach Micheal Burt

 What key traits make a person successful inside and outside of athletics? And how can athletes find an identity outside of their sport? My conversation with LSU assistant swim coach Steve Mellor addresses these questions, as well as the important relationship between an athlete and coach. In addition, we discuss how parents can encourage their students to speak up, in a respectful manner, in the pressure-filled collegiate sports environment. I’m thrilled to have Steve Mellor on the show today because he has deep experience as both a high-level competitor and coach. Mellor began his illustrious swimming career in his home country, England, where he competed at an international level before making his way to the States to swim for North Carolina State in 2005. During his time as a collegiate swimmer, Mellor racked in an astonishing list of achievements. Set two NC State swim records — one for the 200-back and another for the 400 IM Received All - ACC honors from 2007 to 2009 Qualified for the NCAA three times, with a top - 18 finish in the 200-back in 2008 Achieved a world-ranked status in 2005 and 2008, being named in the top 50 for the 200- meter backstroke Competed as a finalist in 2008’s US Open Mellor has now served as LSU’s Assistant Swim Coach for 5 years, where he’s helped guide a number of student-athletes to SEC and NCAA Championships. You’re going to love Mellor’s unique, dual insights as both an athlete and a coach, and if you want more of what you heard today, go check out Steve’s podcast Career Competitor. It offers personal interviews that help reveal shared traits among competitors in high-level sports, and how those traits can be applied to careers outside of athletic competition. Have a question or comment about today’s episode, or have a topic you’d love for me to cover on an upcoming show? Reach out to me on social media at @sportpsychworks or through https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact. We’ll see you again next week! 

Steve Mellor on Transferring High-Level Athletic Traits to Non-Athletic Careers

 “There are boundaries, there are expectations, and there’s a balance between play and work.” -Melissa Jackson For nationally and internationally acclaimed dressage competitor, horse trainer, and my guest today Melissa Jackson, the quote applies to both building a relationship with a horse partner and parenting kids. On today’s podcast, I talk with Jackson about a variety of topics including: The crossover between training horses and coaching kids What her career as a professional athlete taught her kids about flexibility, understanding, and sacrifice Processing her younger daughter’s decision to end her basketball career after high school Learning how to play a parenting role rather than a coaching role, and communicating with her daughters after basketball games The biggest challenge for sports parents today (it starts with a B) I’ve been honored to know Melissa Jackson, my guest today, for more than 20 years, both as my own daughter’s dressage coach and as a friend. What is dressage? It’s an artistic and competitive style of horseback riding that requires intense skill and dedication to master. Jackson has undoubtedly achieved that mastery. Jackson is a USDF Bronze, Silver and Gold Medalist and a graduate of the L Judges program. Her great success in both National and International competitions earned her and her partner at the time, Wellington, invitations to the Festival of Champions in 2006 and 2007. This partnership went on to Germany to successfully compete and train under Hubertus Schmidt, at the Grand Prix Level. Melissa secured the ride on Whirlpool, aka “Hooli” in August 2013. She now competes with her new partner, Domani. In their first year at the FEI level Melissa and Domani qualified and competed in the Markel/USDF Developing Prix St. George championships, finishing 4th overall in the country. I’ve learned so much from Jackson over the years, and I know you’re going to walk away from today’s episode with a great perspective to pull you through the week. If something strikes you during our conversation, I’d love to hear from you! Connect with me on social media @sportpsychworks or through https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact. Melissa Jackson Bio Melissa Jackson a USDF Bronze, Silver and Gold Medalist and a graduate from the L Judges program, has had great success at the National and International levels. She has earned several regional titles and horse of the year awards. She owns and operates Windfall Farms, a small dressage training facility, located in Parrish, Fl. Melissa has trained with many top dressage athletes and trainers such as Hubertus Schmidt and Johann Hinnemann. She is most known for the success she achieved with her past dressage partner, Wellington. Highlighting their career with an invitation to the Festival of Champions in 2006 and 2007. This partnership went on to Germany to successfully compete and train under Hubertus Schmidt, at the Grand Prix Level. Melissa secured the ride on Whirlpool, aka “Hooli” in August 2013. With many career highlights together including USDF Region 3 Intermediate Champion and Prix St. George reserve Champion. They competed in the 2014 Festival of Champions, finishing 11th. And finish their career together by competing back to back years in the 2015 Festival of Champions. With the support of her husband, John, and daughters, Jessica and Faith, Melissa is able to pursue her lifelong dream of one day representing the United States. They have recently purchased a new partner, Domani. In their first year at the FEI level Melissa and Domani qualified and competed in the Markel/USDF Developing Prix St. George championships, finishing 4th overall in the country. She feels thankful and blessed to have an amazing family, happy, healthy horses, and such supportive clients and friends. 

Melissa Jackson on Finding Balance as a Professional Athlete and Parent

We’re not just teaching these kids the game of baseball, we’re teaching them how to be teammates and how to be better kids. - Chris Resop  Chris Resop has a very successful Real Estate career in Naples, FL, and is a former professional baseball player. Chris was born and raised in Naples and graduated from Barron G. Collier High School in 2001. He was drafted by the Florida Marlins in 2001 in the 4th round of the Major League Baseball draft, and played for fourteen years before retiring after the 2014 season. He and his wife (also from Naples!) returned home to raise their two kids. Since retiring Resop has become a successful Real Estate agent, following his passion for design and architecture and a long family lineage of developers in Florida. Hard work is all he’s known, and it paid off! Chris is ranked in the top 1% in the country amongst Real Estate agents, and in addition to attributing the work ethic he established in baseball he says positive thinking and coming back after failure is key to this success. In this episode, Chris and Kathy talk about creating a culture of discipline on his teams, and the impulse to rush in and help as a parent or coach when independence can actually be one of the most valuable lessons in teaching young athletes! Chris shares important reminders to let go of performance (leaving it on the field) at the end of the day, that baseball is a game of failure, and that in any sport when the games become a job it’s time to walk away. Chris was offered a full ride to the University of Miami to play baseball at the same time as his draft onto the Marlins, and also shares how his parents supported his decision to take a chance at achieving his goal to play in the MLB. As a former professional player, a dad, and a coach, Chris has learned so much about the balance of when support is too much and when it’s not enough. His work ethic and insight into all three roles really make this episode one not to miss. If you enjoy the show, please like, share, and rate us in your favorite place to listen. Kathy would also love to hear from you! Connect with her on social media @sportpsychworks and through: www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact.

Episode 62: Chris Resop on Discipline and Fun as a Father, Coach, and Retired Pro

Along with all the negative, you need some positive reinforcement. - Carma Poppens Nothing is ever easy, for me, it’s the same as farming… you keep doing the job until it’s done. Role modeling, doing by example is worth more than words. - Tony Poppens In this episode Kathy is joined by Carma and Tony Poppens, the proud parents of retired professional basketball player Chelsea Poppens. Chelsea began her career playing AAU basketball beginning the summer of her seventh-grade year. During that time the family spent summers on the road together, driving one hour and ten minutes to practice twice a week! They were gone many weekends, slowing down during her Junior year of high school after fatigue and burnout took their toll. She went on to attend Iowa State for four years and played professional basketball after her ISU season was done. She finished her career at age 27 in December of 2018. Carma and Tony live on a farm in Aplington, Iowa. After many dedicated years in the stands, it was difficult for them not to be able to attend all of her professional games overseas, but they enjoyed reading about and watching her games online! Chelsea holds an impressive record at Iowa State, being one of only two players to achieve more than 1,000 points and 1,000 rebounds in the history of the Iowa State women’s basketball program. She was drafted in the second round of the WNBA and played for the San Antonio Stars. Carma and Tony discuss Chelsea’s experiences growing up on a farm and her determination and dedication to play. They credit her competitive nature, ability to return to sports after long seasons, and “never give up” attitude with her sports performance. Unlike many professional athletes, Chelsea did not spend her early years specializing in basketball, but played soccer and ran on the state level in track and field at the high school level. In addition, her upbringing living on a working farm and being coached by both Tony and Carma contributed to their close family dynamic. In her four years at Iowa State, Tony only missed attending two (home and away) games! Their family is such an incredible example for other sports parents, and they advise parents in the thick of trying to find a good balance to listen to their children, especially allowing independence in their drive and dedication to reach their individual goals. If you enjoy the show, please like, share, and rate us in your favorite place to listen. Kathy would also love to hear from you! Connect with her on social media @sportpsychworks and through https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact.

Episode 61: Carma and Tony Poppens on Farming, Family, and Fatigue

The only thing that you can control is your work ethic. - Ken Andiorio Ken Andiorio is an athletic director at the high school level in Naples, FL. He grew up in New Jersey, playing sports on organized teams and with his neighborhood friends. Through some positive peer pressure, he went on to a successful high school football career and played for and traveled with the Rutgers University Scarlet Knights. He credits the teamwork and cooperation he learned and coaching he received from sports as shaping much of who has become, and as life took him through business and then into education, sports was something he continued to gravitate towards. When the opportunity came to serve as the Activities Coordinator at Collier County Schools in Naples, he gladly took it. He is fresh off completing his fifth year in that position, and after 25 years working with students and parents and seventeen years teaching, he has learned a tremendous amount! In this episode, Kathy and Ken dig into risk and navigating the possibility of success and failure with student-athletes, parents allowing students to risk, fail, and learn to fail well - overcoming obstacles and not allowing failure to be a deterrent. Ken encourages that purpose, not a failure, defines you and has great words of wisdom for parents working with their athletes to determine their “Why?”. He outlines two common types of athletes he works with, and the qualities that make a successful athlete; internal motivation, enjoyment of the activity, development of a work ethic, and the ability to deal with adversity. He stresses supporting your child, encouraging improvement and following the direction of the coaching staff, and going together to reach goals. He shares his experiences of seeing successful parents model failure for student-athletes, letting them have the experience and standing beside them, while stressing that athletes be responsible for their behaviors and the consequences. He also shares fantastic advice for students currently transitioning from the high school level to collegiate athletics. Parents, we encourage you to share this episode with your athletes! If you enjoy the show, please like, share, and rate us in your favorite place to listen. Kathy would love to hear from you! Connect with her on social media @sportpsychworks and through https://www.kafcounselingandsportperformance.com/contact.

Episode 60: Ken Andiorio on Finding Your Why and Overcoming Failure

“I think it’s really important that all of us are reflecting on those micro communications...because our actions speak louder than our words.” Dr. Alise G. Bartley is a marriage and family therapist that has been helping families, couples, and individuals for over 25 years. She earned her MA in Counseling and Human Development from Walsh University and her Ph.D. in Marriage and Family Therapy from The University of Akron. Her focus is on helping those who are struggling with their mental wellness from a relationship perspective. She believes that no one lives life in isolation and that we are greatly impacted by those around us. Since no one therapy fits everyone, she uses a combination of theoretical orientations to provide a customized therapeutic experience including Emotionally Focused Therapy, Structural Family Therapy, Solution Focused Therapy, Narrative Therapy, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Her areas of expertise include relationship issues such as communication issues, parenting, healthy sexual functioning, along with depression, anxiety, posttraumatic stress disorder, and personality disorders. She has helped clients work through a diversity of situations including divorce, shared parenting, family business stressors, trauma, developmental issues, education exploration, and LGBT.   In this episode, Kathy and Alise dive into what it looks like to model understanding and reflection in our own behaviors and recognize that our children are learning from us and how we are responding to our environment. Alise explains that it’s important to reinforce important behaviors in ourselves if we expect those behaviors in our kids. “How we respond to events sets the stage for how you and your child can work together.” They also touch on the special “car time” that happens with parents to and from sporting events.

Episode 59: Dr. Alise Bartley on Coaching Yourself First

Ever wonder about the building blocks of an outstanding athlete? Sport Performance Consultant Kathy Feinstein brings you weekly interviews with parents of exceptional athletes and their experiences. With this podcast, parents will learn about how they contribute to their child’s success with different parenting styles and techniques, and how to overcome universal parenting challenges.

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Parenting Peak Performers Podcast

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