Put a bullet into 2017 with Adam and Dave, as they wheel out the excellent ideas which will launch them into next year! A kids book about rock pigs! A graphic novel about town criers! A reality food show to beat all! Plus: was anything good this year? What does it cost to birth an American child? How can you, the listener, stop Adam hate-reading 4chan? And the big question: who's picking up Pitchface for their podcast lineup? This episode brought to you by The Modems In My Garage. Show notes at http://www.thepitchface.com/.

Pitchface

Episode 14: Don't Give Me Some Wetness

Adam and David sniffle their way through a mid-winter episode, braving the conditions in the Pitchface studio to bring you a hot bowl of pitch! Adam discovers an idea he pitched in episode 1 has already been done by people with the gall to have the rights to do it! We pitch how to ruin your childhood memories by making them MGTOW-compatible! A new Pitched Battle brings the worlds of Seinfeld and Parker Lewis together at last! And we sign off singing Peabo Bryson Songs for Current Movies! This episode brought to you by Adam's Mid-Winter Anticol ASMR Channel Extravaganza On YouTube and Meditation for Bigots. Show notes at http://www.thepitchface.com/.

Episode 13: Transmedia Vamp

Join Adam, David and their special guest Sarah Jansen for an hour of pitch action! Sarah's communications powers help us solidify our podcast's marketing push! We workshop Sarah's nascent TV series, SAFE SPACE! Adam unveils his non-starter startup idea, Skipr! Plus: The Pitchface Pitch Perfect cartoon team! Singing rabbis! And our eternal nemesis The Pitchface returns to envelop a man's soul in his jar of horror! This episode is brought to you by my belt and Temp.re! Show notes at http://www.thepitchface.com/.

Episode 12: Glick In The Matrix

We start with a pitch for Cardinal George Pell and only go up from there! Why is a woman named Katt selling her harmonica on Facebook Marketplace? What are some great ideas for prequel TV series (like Better Call Saul)? And who would win in a battle between Deadwood's Al Swearengen and Back to the Future's Tannen clan? We pitch you the unarguably correct answers. WARNING: this episode contains just a little too much discussion of The Second DeLorean Theory. It's brought to you by a vest and Little Red Badge! Show notes at http://www.thepitchface.com/.

Episode 11: Lozenge Men

This feature-length episode is crammed with ideas for wonderful actor Richard Kind! Want a Kind romantic comedy? A Kind road caper? Kind horror? We've got 'em all! Special guest Katrina Mathers pitches her projects Girl Mechanic and There's Gunna Be Poo, and Adam and Katrina discuss their very different experiences working on the sketch comedy program The Wedge. And David pitches his treatment for Police Academy 8! Plus: does John Deeks really sit at the kids table? What a bounty! This episode is brought to you by mint and moo.la! Show notes at http://www.thepitchface.com/.

Episode 10: Then You'll Appeal To Everybody

Can Fairfax leverage their expertise in hamburgers and mobile phones to successfully stave off the Barbarians at the Gate? Would journalism work more good if it were drawn? And what will the Jobs of the Future be? Adam and David pitch all this to you! Also: Colombian terrorists! Labrador jealousy! A special 'Kind' of love! This episode is brought to you by work and Latham Toyota! Show notes at http://www.thepitchface.com/.

Episode 9: Where We're Going We Don't Need Jobs

Time for some Winnovation! How will corporations screw you next? Let Adam and David pitch you some of their evil, penny-saving ideas! Ever wondered why you can buy a Prince Albert tea set "designed" by model Miranda Kerr? David will explain co-branding to you -- and there's plenty of pitches in tow. Plus: news of Vince McMahon, special guest Vladimir Putin, more Arnott's Shapes than you can handle... and The Pitchface himself, pitching for a new job! This episode is brought to you by carbon and HelloDeath! Show notes at http://www.thepitchface.com/.

Episode 8: Winnovation

The world is run by fat old bastards and dumb young jerks, all expecting women to put out for their garbage crotches. This episode we're visited by Sam Jones, sex blogger, who allows us to pitch her on sexy TV dramas and sexy web domains! Also: internet-enabled vibrators, orgy etiquette, santorum, steam cleaning and eye-frost! This episode is brought to you by sex and Dickflowers.edu! Show notes at http://www.thepitchface.com/.

Episode 7: Sexpisode

Conservatives are looking to faff around the edges and play to a base that's essentially dead already. Adam and David pitch their best pathetic hills for conservatives to die on! Then: what will Aaron Sorkin's new show be about? And new uses for old comedy ideas! This episode is brought to you by cigarettes and David's new solo podcast, Celebpathy!

Episode 6: Climb That Molehill

Pile the "meat" high! Adam and David pitch new scientific food innovations, a brilliant update to the almost-perfect chicken yakitori and Adam's fabulous Cleveland-themed homestyle eatery, Euclid Avenue. Plus: anodised aluminium balls, cockroach milk and New Uses For Tom Waits! This episode is brought to you by meat and The Book Delivertary.

Episode 5: Make Your Own Hole

Shhh -- Adam and David are bringing the volume down. They discuss which candy bars they'd recruit for a heist and their great ideas for "mystery" podcasts (a la Serial and Missing Richard Simmons). Then David attempts to save the education industry by suggesting some explosive new ideas for universities. This episode is brought to you by the Fuckbed by Sealy and Jews.

Episode 4: Shhh

In this episode, Adam and David Pitch 5(tm) Objectivist hero names. David pitches animated films for the alt-right. And in our "Wrestlemania edition", Adam takes the layman through the colourful world of sports entertainment, a roped-off analogue for the political world we live in today, and workshops his version of an HBO-style wrestling series. Plus: which wrestlers should Emperor Fuckface appoint to his cabinet? This episode is brought to you by sand and Qlipce.

Episode 3: Opened Up The Hard Way

In the second episode of Pitchface, Adam and David discuss the return of the Nokia 3310 and Pitch 5(tm) old pieces of tech that should return and have tie-in movies released alongside them. In a scorching Pitch Challenge, we learn what brand-new episodes of Columbo and The Golden Girls would be like. Finally, Adam pitches his app/service, Simpletrade. This episode of Pitchface is sponsored by Bayswater and The Thinger.

Episode 2: Deals You Can't Find In Nature

Ideas are worth nothing until you pitch them. Adam Wajnberg and David Blumenstein will convince you that theirs are worth slightly more than that. Fix your tie. Check your breath. Put on your Pitchface. In the first episode: meet your hosts. Space powers. Plans for how the media should tackle Donald Trump. Which action star would play your penis in a movie? The Marvel/DC HBO series to end all. Plus: Natalie Portman and Gordon Shumway. This episode is brought to you by plopl.box and bats.

Episode 1: Ideas Are Worth Nothing

Ideas are worth nothing until you pitch them. Adam Wajnberg and David Blumenstein will pitch their very best ideas right at your fat little head. These disruptive intrapreneurs will teach you business smarts, fine design sense, hot synthesizer prowess and deliver a rapid-fire "Pitch 5"! Part of each episode is the ever-present threat of the terrifying creature known as The Pitchface. Will today be the day it emerges from its extra-dimensional prison 300km below the crust of the Earth? Join us in the business world's very own Piper's Pit. Fix your tie. Check your breath. Put on your Pitchface.

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Pitchface

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