Abuse in Polyamory; a global live one-off event on 17th April 2021, at 10am LA/ 12noon CHI/ 1pm NYC/ 6pm LDN/ 7pm PAR. Get your tickets here, at www.polypages.org/events, or join our Patreon as an Early Bird Supporter and get in completely free. www.patreon.com/polypages.  Abuse can happen in any relationship, whether you have one partner, two partners, or more. A polyamorous relationship is not any more or less likely to be abusive than a monogamous one, however having multiple partners may create unique situations that abusive people may exploit. Our social understandings of abuse assume a mono-normative relationship, leading to poor understandings and awareness of the ways abuse may present in a non-monogamous dynamics. In this one-off, live event - join three polyamorous survivors, educators and writers in a global conversation about abuse in polyamory.  About the Speakers: Alicia Bunyan-Sampson - "Creator of @polyamorousblackgirl, an independent filmmaker, writer, counsellor/advocate and researcher based in Toronto. She focuses her work primarily on her identity as a black woman, love, trauma, sexuality and non-monogamy. Eve Rickert - "A Gen X nonmonogamous white settler living in Canada, Eve is the co-author of More Than Two and publisher of Thorntree Press." Sydney Rae Chin - "Polyamorous 3rd gen Chinese American woman, Intuitive Sex Guide runs @sydneyraechin empowering Pan Asian women and non men survivors to reclaim their sensuality"⁣ This event is supported by The Network/La Red. The Network/La Red is a survivor-led, social justice organization that works to end partner abuse in lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, SM, polyamorous, and queer communities. Rooted in anti-oppression principles, our work aims to create a world where all people are free from oppression. TNLR strengthens our communities through organizing, education, and the provision of support services --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

Poly Pages

(another) EVENT ANNOUNCEMENT

Decoupling in Polyamory; a global live event, on the 9th January. Get tickets at here, at www.polypages.org/events, or join our Patreon as an Early Bird Supporters and get in completely free. www.patreon.com/polypages  De-coupling is the transition from a partnership - usually romantic and intimate - to another dynamic. In polyamorous dynamics, break-ups often include a period of transition; from lovers to friends, from metamours to acquittances, or even to strangers. In this one-off, live event - join three polyamorous and relationship educators in a global conversation about how to navigate de-coupling in healthy, productive and supported ways. Facilitated by Poly Pages, this panel includes Evita Sawyers, Andy Adams, and Sydney Rae Chin.  Join this is a facilitated discussion around the causes of polyamorous breakups, the unique challenges de-coupling presents for polyam folx, and some skills and scripts for individuals and communities to make decoupling easier/less harmful. --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

EVENT ANNOUNCEMENT

In this bonus episode, Claire is joined by Andy Adams, from the Growth Arc. Together they read through Life History and Multi-Partner Mating: A Novel Explanation for Moral Stigma Against Consensual Non-monogamy. The article uses a new categorization for CNM - either multi-partner or open relationship. And they exclude non-consensual non-monogamy (yay!). But was Life History Theory the best explanation for their findings? What does risk and romance have to do with one another? And do people assume the worst of one another?  This article was published in 2020, and was written by Mogilski, Justin & Mitchell, Virginia & Reeve, Simon & Donaldson, Sarah & Nicolas, Sylis & Welling, Lisa. It was published in Frontiers in Psychology, 10 (10.3389/fpsyg.2019.03033).  The Growth Arc is an educational-based coaching program for your relationships needs - whether that’s a relationship with yourself, another person, or multiple people. You can find The Growth Arc on Facebook, Instagram, twitter, and of course at https://www.thegrowtharc.com/. Life History Theory as presented by Claire draws on the library of resources found here and you can find Sarah Hill’s interview on puberty and Life History Theory on the ‘Here We Are’ podcast episode 126. You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

BONUS - Life History and Multi-Partner Mating

In this bonus episode, Sebastian is joined by special guest co-host Matthew Thomas, a polyamorous lawyer from Somerville, MA to talk about a recently passed ordinance which expands the definition of domestic partnership beyond two people. Not only is this an incredible step forward for poly people, but this ordinance is likely the first of its kind in the US. Join Matt and Sebastian as they talk about how this came to be and what it might mean for us going forward. Additional resources: The Poly-friendly directory of legal professionals can be found here. Diana Adams, Esq. who's NYC firm specializes in family law can be found here. The ordinance in question can be viewed here. For another discussion on Polyamory and the Law, see here for ep 167 by the Multiamory pod. **Note: Matthew is a practicing lawyer in Massachussetts but is not an expert in family law. Our discussion is not meant to be legal advice, but a general discussion of the ordinance and its possible implications. If you need legal support or advice regarding polyamorous or non-traditional family structures please consult someone who specializes in this including those listed in the resources above. You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

BONUS - Somerville Domestic Partnerships

In chapter 18, Dossie and Janet are talking about a stereotypical if problematic entry point to non-monogamy. A person in a dyad (couple) has got involved with an outside lover, and this is the impetus for discussions about opening up your partnership to accommodate. Although neither of our hosts have come to polyamory this way, Claire and Sebastian take us through the quintessential moments of anger, discussion, guilt, and risk-taking that you might be experiencing as you begin to open up.  You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages,. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. Show Notes: Serial monogamy is introduced in ‘Ep 4 - Slut Styles’ Guilt is explored in ep 239 of Multiamory Pod Information on Franklin Veaux can be found in this medium article, Anger as a helpful emotion - there is a great article to get your starter, and of course the noted ep 205 of Multiamory Pod For couples opening up for the first time, Claire begs you not to ask your new unicorn/third all your questions. Here are some polyam-friendly therapists/professionals for you to pay and use: The Polyamory-Friendly Professionals Directory, The Kink Aware Professionals Directory (KAP), The Open List, The Polyamory Loving More Member Professionals List, The “Meet our Experts” section of The Affirmative Couch. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

18 - Opening an Existing Relationship

This exercise is called ‘8 steps to win-win conflict resolution’ and is found in Chapter 17 of the Ethical Slut (3rd edition). For the full chapter, please see the full episode: Making Agreements (Ep17) and don’t forget to rate and review and subscribe to Poly Pages for more content. This exercise provides a useful framework to agree solutions for an issue in any relationship, and requires uninterrupted time with your partner(s) as well as a whiteboard or piece of paper.  This exercise is ©by Dossie Easton and Janet W.Hardy and is shared here under the exceptions related to teaching. This is a non-commodified resource produced by Poly Pages. You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

Minisode: 8 steps to win-win conflict resolution

Claire and Sebastain, 2 polyamorous people, are talking about making agreements. After fangirling over a great definition of consent - ‘the active collaboration for the pleasure and well-being of all concerned’- Claire and Sebastain talk about the power of making explicit our agreements. Avoiding legalistic hair splitting, moral condemnation, manipulation, and loophole-finding and figure out how to start making the agreements you need to open up your relationship. You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages,. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. Show Notes: Social Contact Theory is well introduced in Ethics in Law Enforcement by Steve McCartney and Rick Parent  The difference between agreements and rules by poly coach. Kitchen Table Polyamory is defined in Jess Mahler’s 2016 article. One Penis Policy is described here as a version of Polygyny  --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

17 - Making Agreements

This exercise is called ‘Feelings Dyad’ and is found in Chapter 16 of the Ethical Slut third edition. If you want about the full chapter, please see the full episode: Embracing Conflict (ep 16) and don’t forget to rate and review and subscribe to Poly Pages for more content. This exercise provides a useful framework to share your feelings in a safe and open way and requires about 30-45 minutes of uninterrupted time with a partner. This exercise is ©by Dossie Easton and Janet W.Hardy and is shared here under the exceptions related to teaching. This is a non-commodified resource produced by Poly Pages. You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

Minisode: Feelings Dyad

Claire and Sebastian are talking about conflict in intimate relationships. We have probably learnt that conflict is bad, and we don't usually spend a lot of time thinking about how we behave in and after conflicts. Dossie and Janet contend that conflict is actually a good thing, giving us opportunities to learn more about each other and ourselves. If you are polyamorous/non-monogamous there are going to be more times for conflict to crop up because more people are involved, and will have less practice and support for resolving them. In this episode, we talk about about how to act better in a fight or disagreement. What is the difference between venting and constructive disagreement? How do you avoid triggering each other? What are some quick communication tool to upgrade your conflict communication inc a time out, i-messages and journaling? Check out our minisode for this chapter's homework here! You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages,. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. Show notes: Multiamory offer a wonderful crash course in ep 151, here, and also cover toxic habits in relationships in ep 223, here. Brene Brown Netflix Special: The Call to Courage The Intimate Enemy: How to Fight Fair in Love and Marriage, by George Robert Bach, Peter Wyden  Non-violent Communication: A Language of Life  by Marshall B. Rosenberg Use You're Words by Dr Stephanie K Webb See Ep 8: Abundance here --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

16 - Embracing Conflict

This exercise is called ‘Treasures’ and is found in Chapter 15 of the Ethical Slut third edition. If you want about the full chapter, please see the full episode: Roadmaps through Jealousy (ep 15) and don’t forget to rate and review a subscribe to Poly Pages for more content. This exercise is designed to help you and your partner(s) to remember the good stuff. You will need a pen and paper and access to one or more of your partners. This exercise is ©by Dossie Easton and Janet W.Hardy and is shared here under the exceptions related to teaching. This is a non-commodified resource produced by Poly Pages. You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

Minisode: Treasures

This exercise is called ’15 ways to be kind to yourself’and is found in Chapter 15 of the Ethical Slut third edition. If you want about the full chapter, please see the full episode: Roadmaps through Jealousy (ep 15) and don’t forget to rate and review a subscribe to Poly Pages for more content. This exercise is designed to help you, the reader, to identify easy ways that you can self-sooth. You will need a pen and some index cards to get involved! This exercise is ©by Dossie Easton and Janet W.Hardy and is shared here under the exceptions related to teaching. This is a non-commodified resource produced by Poly Pages. You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

Minisode: 15 ways to be kind to yourself

This exercise is called ‘Reassurance’ and is found in Chapter 15 of the Ethical Slut third edition. If you want about the full chapter, please see the full episode: Roadmaps through Jealousy (ep 15) and don’t forget to rate and review a subscribe to Poly Pages for more content. This exercise is designed for you, the reader, to consider how you would like your partner(s) to take care of you when times are hard. For this exercise you will need a pen and paper and access to one or more of your partners. This exercise is © by Dossie Easton and Janet W.Hardy and is shared here under the exceptions related to teaching. This is a non-commodified resource produced by Poly Pages. You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

Minisode: Reassurance

This exercise is called ‘How do you experience jealousy?’ and is found in Chapter 15 of the Ethical Slut third edition. If you want about the full chapter, please see the full episode: Roadmaps through Jealousy (ep 15) and don’t forget to rate and review a subscribe to Poly Pages for more content. This is an exercise designed to facilitate introspection about some very difficult thoughts. You will need a pen and some paper to follow along. This exercise is © by Dossie Easton and Janet W.Hardy and is shared here under the exceptions related to teaching. This is a non-commodified resource produced by Poly Pages, who you can find on Instagram @polypages. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou.  Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth.  Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

Minisode: How do you experience jealousy?

As Part Three kicks off,  Claire and Sebastian talk through Chapter 15 and it's all about the green-eyed monster: what is jealousy? why is it scary? should we avoid it or learn how to work with it? This episode is packed full of excellent resources on how to speak about jealousy, how to self-sooth when you are experiencing it, and how to exercise sharing jealousy safely. Claire also rants about the way jealousy is depicted in mono-culture, and Sebastian talks us through the 'relationship escalator'.  Don't forget to check for homework exercises in mini-sodes! 15.1, 15.2, 15.3, 15.4 You can support Poly Pages on Instagram @polypages,. You can find your co-hosts on Instagram @claireltravers and @sebastiandaou. Our wonderful music is lovingly provided by the amazing Mint Green who can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. The track we use is Curtains from their EP Growth. Feel free to contact our email - polypages@gmail.com - for any questions or comments. Show Notes: Check out Probably Poly live show on Jealousy here Check out Multiamory podcast, ep 217 on the Science of Jealousy here and ep 110 on Deconstructing Jealousy here Some other good resources are given on the Affirmative Couch blog post here --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

15 - Roadmaps through Jealousy

Claire and Sebastian slide into your feed to give you a little status update.  After six months of hiatus, Poly Pages is ramping up to release Part Three of Season One entitled "Navigating Challenges". And we are giving you plenty of time to dust off your copy of The Ethical Slut and get ready! Check out the chapter-by-chapter recap on our Instagram @polypages, and look out for Part Three coming soon! And as a special thank you for bearing with us, we leave you with the complete cut of Curtains by Mint Green, which you usually hear in our intro/outro. Mint Green can be found on bandcamp, facebook and Instagram: @mintgreenmusic. We highly recommend purchasing their entire EP Growth.  --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

STATUS UPDATE

Genuine polyamorous people, Sebastian and Claire, have started a book club. BOOKS! Join them as they read their way through the texts that have shaped our polyam/non-mono culture and community. In Season one, Sebastian and Claire are closely reading The Ethical Slut by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton [3rd edition] chapter by chapter, discussing the ideas in an unabridged way, adding extra info where needed, and suggesting extra readings. Hosted by Sebastian and Claire Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/polypages/support

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Poly Pages

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