Don’t expect any sensible football chat about Scotland’s 2012 Euro Championships group or the 6th round draw of The Scottish Cup…or anything remotely serious. Before we go mobile this is a show celebrating men behaving immaturely or talking sh*t…whichever you prefer. We’ve edited together the complete most amount of bollocks chatted through-out the last year of the podcast….this is really only part 1 of a long series as there’s a wealth of material…but if you fancy your chat dumb…, dumber and dumberer….concerning women….the 80’s, clothes, music and drinking and football…then this is for you. It is a real insult to your intelligence…and I say that to any invertebrate out there. Enjoy…if you dare!

Pub Chat

The Kickabollocks – Best Of The Nonsense

It’s a busy bar tonight. Joe’s mate Jamsie pops in and stays – helping Joe out no end in the quiz. Look out for appearances from Benjamin Button, Eddie the Barman, Stevie Gerrard and Nae Mates. The chat involves women’s football, summer football, cartoon animals you’d have as a pet and unified city teams to heal divisions within communities or cause massive barny’s. Do you know where the 1962 World Cup was held or who the mystery voice is? Join us for 18 minutes of immaturity that doesn’t heal the world, help world peace or does sod all for the environment. Come waste your life down the boozer – not for the intellectually gifted.

Pub Chat Episode 22

If you’re up for a banter down the pub with a couple of intellectual light-weights then you’ve come to the right place. It starts with the chat about which 7 Dwarf would you rather be; which is better Glasgow or Edinburgh and which football team would you change your name to. And then it goes slightly uphill with Joe’s mate Pogo joining him for the pub quiz. Do you know who’s the most capped manager in the Premiership? Could you guess which product Dennis Compton advertised years before Keegan and big ‘Enry were splashing it all over with Brut? Or which player currently playing in Scotland scored the last goal in the Premiership in the 20th Century. Added to this a really bad gag about women’s panties and some new beer label warnings and I think you’ll realise it’s not going to win any fancy Sony Award. Step into the Unathletic Arms for a bit of pub chat. Not for the intellectually gifted.

Pub Chat Episode 21

If you ever wanted to know the difference between a Horseman pigeon and a Racing pigeon and which one actually was used to fly drugs into a top Scottish prison then I suggest you get downloading now. This is the chat you only get down a boozer. Chat this week apart from ‘the doos’ concerns being adrift in the ocean or the desert. Which one would you choose to die in. Will humans keep breaking the 100m world record? Will The Old Firm ever play in England? Don’t miss Joe’s Chewbacca impression as 1977 the year of Star Wars is the theme of the pub quiz which degenerates into a slanging match as does the chat when they get onto dream jobs – Mickey’s is a football manager and Joe’s is soft porn publishing. It doesn’t get much sillier or dumber than this

Pub Chat Episode 20

Would you sell one of your internal organs or your eye for 10 grand? That’s just one of the pub debates the lads are enjoying down the Unathletic Arms this week. The also discuss a world where men might no longer be needed in the light of recent scientific developments. What exactly do men do that women can’t? Maybe not one for the ladies! As per usual, there is the usual pub facts (find out how much did Alan Sugar pay for his AMS1 number plate.) And also some great pub quiz questions, (which teams played in front of the SPL’s smallest crowd), and of course some pub characters, Eddie the Barman and Lady Can Rattler – not for the intellectually gifted i.e. someone who has watched a foreign movie with subtitles and enjoyed it.

Pub Chat Episode 19

What more do you want down the boozer – some great pub facts (do you know putting some toilet paper down the pan before you do a poo, to mask the plop, is called a Fireman’s Blanket?) – some great gags, (well don’t miss the one about the wife, the horse and the 2 jockeys) - some great pub quiz questions, (find out who was the Scotland World Cup Captain before Colin Hendry in 1998) and some great pub debates (should female athletes pose nude, what’s the best Scottish band ever and who’s the best sportsman on the planet right now). It’s all happening down the Unathletic Arms – not for the intellectually gifted i.e. more than 3 ‘O’ levels.

Pub Chat Episode 18

Joe “The Chubbs” Tortolano is still AWBB – absent with bad back, and comes in for some stick from the boys. There could be trouble when he gets back. Oh, sorry, when he returns. I probably shouldn’t say back. Anyway, back to the pub chat. Oh. I’ve done it again. Hell is on the menu in the Unathletic Arms, and Mickey shares his idea of absolute hell, and no, it doesn’t involve being out at the pub alone with Gordon Dallas! Mickey tackles the quiz whilst phoning a friend, again!!! And manages to completely mess up on the football questions. Who would your ideal neighbour be? Will Gordon successfully launch his new business venture to rival the Ghost Tours – The Goolie Tours. Find out in this slice of nonsense that’s definitely one for the hard of thinking.

Pub Chat Episode 17

The chat you only hear in the boozer hits new lows this week in The Unathletic Arms. This week there’s more horrific pub gags and Mickey actually cheats in the pub quiz by phoning a friend. However what we really love about this show is the chat. This week Dallas puts Mickey in position of Caesar organising the events for the Collosseum – what fights would you have staged? Lion v Tiger, Man v Lion, Polar Bear v a Bull. It’s historically accurate but not animal lovers. Also if Katie Price called herself Jordan, are there any other surnames of ex-Scottish internationalists you could name a kid after – “Come in Gemmill your teas oot”, doesn’t work quite as well. Total nonsense and not for the intellectually gifted or the squeamish this week!

Pub Chat Episode 16

Peter Cormack talk to Mikey Weir, Joe Tortalano and Gordon Dallas about his Liverpool days where he was signed by Shankly and played with Keegan, Highway and the Liverpool greats of the &0's. In the week of Ross McCormack's and Christophe Berra's debut, Peter talks about his own international debut - for Scotland against the mighty Brazil side of 66. Another Boot Room not to be missed!

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Pub Chat

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