Chapter 109 - Path of Conkerf. It's just before 5pm on 14th October 2021 and it's a fine autumn night to visit a freshly ploughed field to clear easy stones that a child could clear. But what should you do when presented with such easy stony booty? You should take care my friends. For the FF are lulling you and Halloween is just around the corner.

Stone Clearing With Richard Herring

Chapter 109

Chapter 108 Quick Fand - It's approaching 6pm on 2nd October and most of you are heading for a night out on the town, but Richard is heading for a night on the Stocean wave to clear some stones in the rain. He will be warning of how you can get sucked off out here on a night like tonight, plus how improper wiping can give you fingers like an ardent stone clearer. So be warned. He pays the price for glory seeking like some kind of Bryan Bramble and ponders on what the Ditch that Ftopped Brexit might have saved us from.

Chapter 108

Moby'f Dick. It's 7.52am on 21st September 2021 and Rich just got some junk from the recycling bin on his fingers, but he doesn't mention it in the chapter as that would be unprofessional. Stone Chriftmaf has arrived and though that makes stone clearing easy, it also leads to psychological problems that every intermediate stone clearer must learn to address and live with. But also some big stones to find and disperse. The FF have been quiet, maybe a bit too quiet and there's a philosophical email to address and some poo to carry around, but apart from that it's pretty much run of the mill.

Chapter 107

Chapter One Hundred and Fix - Fix Geefe A Flying - It's approaching 7pm on the 12th September 2021 and Richard is finally forced to confront the allegations that are flying around the stone clearing world and which you've probably seen mention of on stone clearing message boards or rival stone clearing podcasts (mentioning no names, Brian Bramble). Hopefully you will not judge him too harshly, for he is but a man, with a man's knees. He certainly doesn't let it get in the way of some sublime stone clearing tonight, with a rich seam of new stones revealed and after the harsh Ftone Summer Winter, the first glimpse of Ftone Fpring before Ftone Autumn gives way to proper Ftone Winter. The Feafonf are different out here. It's a clear without FF interference, so just enjoy the stones and the geese and forget about whatever rumours you've heard.

Chapter 106

Field of Gold. It's before 8am on 6th September 2021 and Richard and Wolfie have an event strewn stone clear ahead of them. There have been changes on the Ftocean that just make things harder than before, but that's why you're here, for intermediate advice on how to cope with this and there's tonnes of this. Plus an intervention from a possibly dead celebrity and a callous murder at the end. And more rules than you can shake a stick at.

Chapter 105

Chapter #104: Droopy Penif Earf - It's 8.42am on 1st September 2021 and it's been a while since we've been on the Ftocean. Rich is dizzy, with dizziness, not excitement, but stone clearing is the best medicine, even if the crop reminds you of your genitals. The fabric between alternate universes may be fracturing and some of the listeners may be travelling in time (but no fpoilerf), but otherwise it's business as usual. And a very exciting stone pole too.

Chapter 104

Beardy Thiftle Man - It's late in the evening on the 12th August 2021 and Richard is taking a crepuscular walk around the Stocean, though his path is strangled by crops and wheat. He meets a weird small man on his way who may be the embodiment of a plant and gives you some folk lore about the moon. But it's otherwise a moribund edition of the podcast. But you must listen to it anyway.

Chapter 103

Chapter 102 - Four Bearf. It's 7pm on 29th July 2021 and Richard is out for a calm intermediate stone clear on a spookily quiet evening. The conditions are tough as the crops are dense on one side and the weeds spiky on the other and not many stones can be cleared, but that's why we've moved on beyond the beginners' lessons now. Because stone clearing is TOUGH. There's some fun with diarrhoea and the chapter is slightly truncated as Rich received an email from a 1970s kids' TV star who he couldn't remember the name of and who it turned out at the end of the podcast (when Rich googled him) had died in quite an unpleasant way. I don't know how he managed to email in, but out of a rare burst of sensitivity we've decided to delete the portion of the podcast in which this occurred out of respect for this childhood hero. You can sponsor Rich's half marathon here http://justgiving.com/monoball

Chapter 102

Ye Nettlef and Ye Thiftles. It's just after 8am on 8th July 2021 and things are about to get Intermediate. Do not liften to yif podcaft unleff thou have liftened to all 100 chapterf and ye Fummertime Fpecial. There is some pretty strong stuff in this one and all your preconceptions of stone clearing will be blown away. Plus loads of really good songs. Only for intermediate stone clearers though. Sponsor Richard here and stave off curses and get better good luck for a year http://justgiving.com/monoball

Chapter 101

Chapter 100 - Ball(f). It's 8.33am on 30th June 2021 and the momentous day has arrived. The final Beginners' Chapter and number 100 (of infinity). There are a few clues of the intermediate stone clearing that is to come, but it's mainly a celebration of stone clearing and gerontophilia. Even the FF are keeping a respectful diftance. Enjoy this whilst you can because things are going to get TOUGH from here on in. Only those with balls can carry on to the next level. You are allowed to count the balls of your feet. Become a monthly badger here: http://gofasterstripe.com/badges. Don't end up like Brian Wheat. Support the people who took my ball here: http://justgiving.com/monoball

Chapter 100

Chapter 99 - A Fea of Blood It's around about 5.40pm of the 22nd June 2021 and it's a relaxed evening stone clear as we come to the end of the beginner chapters and start to look forward with apprehension to what the intermediate chapters shall bring. A couple of advanced tips may frighten you, but otherwise it's plain sailing, watched over by the souls of a million fallen stone clearers. When will we fall and join the poppied dead? No one knows when, we only know that it muft come to paff. If you wish to sponsor Richard for his half-marathon run head to http://justgiving.com/monoball

Chapter 99

Chapter 98 - Armiftice Day (with a Bee) It's 8.06am on 9th June 2021 and the 100th chapter is approaching. But is that meaningful or do stones not count? The stocean is so fecund that even the people round the edge of it can get pregnant and the souls of dead stone clearers emerge via poppies, the Stone Stasi may have a dangerous new weapon and the cairns and the stone pole are obscured by nettles. What a time to still be alive. Just. This also includes another chapter 98 from May 18th where the recording went wrong, but you might as well listen to what survives. If you have enjoyed these free podcasts and want to donate to charity, please sponsor Richard here: http://justgiving.com/monoball

Chapter 98

Chapter Ninety-seven - Bubblef - It's 8.30am on 14th May 2021 and it's grey and drizzly, but it's one of the last few beginner chapters and soon we'll be moving on got intermediate stone clearing. So buckle up. For now we're talking about folly fins and the power of the rain to cleanfe the fuperior life formf, where the foul of the stone doth refide and how everything if bubbles. There's a couple of celebrity emails and the name of the blafphemer doth come up for the firft time in a while.

Chapter 97

Chapter Ninety Fix - What's the Point in That if You Don't Know What a Cairn is? - It's 7.45am on the 4th May 2021 and the wind she doth blow. Most of the podcast sounds like a washing up bottle full of pebbles being shaken by a toddler, but you might be able to make out Richard's words of wisdom amongst the mayhem. It'll be worth it, because there's an email from a big celebrity. And though your ears will be full of chaos, the field is almost back to its previous state. See in the picture the state of repair to Michael's Cairn.

Chapter 96

Chapter Ninety-Five - Ye Borg Queen Doth Bifhop. It's 27th April 2021, around 8.30am and after the genuine trauma of the last chapter, Richard has licked his wounds and is back on the Ftocean trying to undo what was done to him. But who is the madman in this situation, the person throwing stones on to the field or the one throwing them off? Is it possible they are both as mad or sane as each other? These things are sent to test our faith in the stone gods, who really seem to be testing (and teste-ing him this year) and whatever the dangers, the work muft continue. There's always been danger in this, but now there is genuine danger. Richard has been doing this long enough now to be able to read nature's clock. What a lovely big clock nature hath?

Chapter 95

The world's first podcast dedicated to the ancient art of Stone Clearing (removing stones from a field and using them for better purpose), presented by Richard Herring.

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Stone Clearing With Richard Herring

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