In this episode, we discuss the fact that adult bullies do exist and I give tangible ways to ensure that you don’t become one. This episode is based off of my article that was published in The Candidly.It was your typical Tuesday in the life of an influencer. I was sitting at a fancy blogger brunch, surrounded by the familiar faces of my writer, editor, and blogger friends and acquaintances. As we pushed around the food on our plates and sipped on Rosé, I noticed the mumblings of a conversation between, Nina* and Jane*.Nina, “Yeah, the Kardashian’s made curves cool, but that trend is so over.” She then turns, laughs, points to me and says, “Haha, I mean, Candy has the biggest ass here!” My mouth went dry when the meaning of what she said had sunk in. Was she making fun of my body? Was she low-key calling me fat? Was she trying to make the others girl laugh at my expense? Was she exerting her position as the Alpha at the table? Is this was body-shaming felt like? It was clear that the answer was, ‘Yes to all of the above.’I suppose she had expected the rest of the table to erupt into laughter with her, but when her mean-spirited dig was met with silence, she responded, “Oh, I mean, I wish my butt was bigger!” This back-handed follow-up comment really solidified her mean girl status.My friend Eva* looked at me and mouthed, “Are you okay?” I nodded that I was but that was a lie. Even though the other girls didn’t join in on making fun of my shape, I felt a hot wave of shame wash all over my body. I bit my lower lip in an effort to stifle the tears that were threatening to break free from my eyes.Here I was, an accomplished content creator surrounded by my industry peers at a professional event being reduced to feeling like a 12 year old girl in the cafeteria lunchroom that no one wanted to sit with. Weren’t we as adults, and especially as women, supposed to be evolved enough to not take pleasure in inflicting emotional and physical pain on others? Weren’t we supposed to know that bringing someone else down doesn’t bring ourselves up? Apparently not.When I got back home after the brunch, I started to think about the roots of adult bullying and what was causing another accomplished woman to feel the need to belittle another accomplished woman in the presence of others. But more importantly, I thought of tangible ways to ensure that I never became like her. That I never projected my own pain, hurt, and insecurities onto other people as a way to temporarily elevate my own feeling of being less than. After all, ‘hurt people, hurt people.’So in an effort to repurpose the pain, shame, and embarrassment that I felt that day, I’ve pulled together a few key insights on how not to become an adult bully.Identify your own triggers and get some perspectiveGetting clear on who you are and what makes you tick is imperative to harnessing your true strength and inner peace. When you’re able to be self-aware enough to know what areas in your life you still need to heal, then you’re able to identify when those triggers are being activated and address them with grace, love, and compassion, rather than lashing out at the nearest target.Usually people bully other people because something about that person or experience triggers a pre-existing insecurity or wound within that person. Until we are able to heal our own wounds, we’ll keep wounding others. Actively working on your own self-awareness can be scary, tough, and at-times exhausting, but healing your wounds and taking back your power to choose differently when triggered is the work that we must do in order to become whole, healed, and healthy human beings.

Sugar Pills: A Practical Guide to Self-Care

Adult bullies do exist

In this episode, we discuss how to create healthy personal boundaries and why they are so important to your overall happiness and health. Establishing healthy personal boundaries is essential to forming and maintaining a positive sense of self, self-image, and your self-concept.Let’s first define healthy personal boundaries, and having healthy personal boundaries will translate into having healthy professional boundaries as well. It will positively affect all areas of your life.The mental, emotional, and physical limitations that we create in order to protect ourselves from exhaustion, manipulation, violations, and abuse from others are our personal boundaries. Healthy boundaries empower us to establish who we are, what we feel, what we think, as individual people from the wants, needs, thoughts, and feelings of others.This doesn’t mean that we don’t respect the boundaries that other people have established for themselves, it just means that we honor ourselves as unique individuals and hold other people accountable to do the same.So, now that we know what personal boundaries are, let’s now discuss what they can do and remember that we must be willing and open to communicate in a healthy, direct, and honest way, with others what our boundaries are and honor that we are all unique individual human beings with our own wants, needs, preferences, desires, emotions, and voices.Creating, establishing, and enforcing healthy personal boundaries, is the way in which we let other people know how we want to be treated and it communicates to them that we have self-worth, self-value, and self-respect. It also lets them know that you define you and that you don’t let others determine the trajectory of your life and the way in which you feel about yourself.Setting healthy boundaries helps you to maintain your integrity as a human being, take ownership for your life, and to take your control back from anyone trying to encroach upon your free will as an individual.

How to create healthy personal boundaries

In this episode, we discuss five ways self-care can make you more money as an entrepreneur and creative professional.5 Ways Self-Care Can Make You More Money#3: Build an unstoppable teamThe quickest way to manifest your professional goals and dreams is by building a team that believes in your vision and is equipped to do their jobs efficiently and effectively. The bottom-line is that your business and your brand is only as strong as your people so it’s imperative to be mindful of the employees that you hire and the friends and associates that you surround yourself with, because they will determine how far and how quickly you grow.Self-care Tip: Awaken the Power of Your Circle  Beware of the company that you keep. There’s a reason why the saying, “Birds of a feather, flock together,” always rings true. If you want to know where you’re at in your life and more importantly, where you’re going, just look around at your inner circle of friends. It’s super important to be able to trust the people that you surround yourself with and also make sure that you are surrounded by people that not only encourage you, but also are at a level that you aspire to be at.You don’t want to be the most successful person in your circle and you also want to be with people that add value to your life. Take an inventory of who you have in your life and involved in your business and write-out what value they add to your life, business, and bottom-line.Bonus Insight:Hire people who do the task better than you.If you haven’t already, be sure to pick-up a copy of Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Inner Power on Amazon, here: https://amzn.to/2GNPDL6Or grab it on Amazon Kindle, here: https://amzn.to/2vxKzWc.You can also enjoy all of my favorite things to get your joy back with my “Self-Care Starter Kit,” here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/candywashingtonFor more on practical self-care: http://candywashington.com/self-careJoin me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter: @candywashington and check out my site, candywashington.com.

5 Ways Self-Care Can Make You Money: Build an unstoppable team

In this episode, we discuss five ways self-care can make you more money as an entrepreneur and creative professional.5 Ways Self-Care Can Make You More Money#2: Don’t settle for less than what you deserveYou have to remember that you’re running a business and not a charity. One of the biggest obstacles that I faced when building my brand was people asking me to work for free or at a discounted rate. If I had continued to devalue the work that I did for my clients, I would have never been able to quit my “survival job” and become a full-time entrepreneur.The trick to not settling is to build up your self-esteem and self-confidence so that you’re so secure and grounded in who you are and the value that you provide for your clients, that you’re unwilling to disrespect yourself and your business by working for free.Self-care Tip: Awaken The Power of Having StandardsHaving and enforcing standards and boundaries is one of the most effective ways to activate your power. We condition people on how they treat us, so if you don’t have standards and boundaries in both your personal and professional life, then you can find yourself being stretched too thin, not fulfilled, exhausted, and worn out, because people will take from you as much as you’re willing to give, so you need to establish boundaries in order to protect your time, energy, and space. The best way to show people how you to treat you, is by example. The way you treat yourself is the number 1 indicator of how other people think that they can treat you.Key Questions to ask yourself:What do I expect of myself, in terms of honesty, trust, respect, and accountability?What do I expect from other people, in terms of honesty, trust, respect, and accountability?Then make sure that your actions are in alignment with those expectations.If you haven’t already, be sure to pick-up a copy of Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Inner Power on Amazon, here: https://amzn.to/2GNPDL6Or grab it on Amazon Kindle, here: https://amzn.to/2vxKzWc.You can also enjoy all of my favorite things to get your joy back with my “Self-Care Starter Kit,” here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/candywashingtonFor more on practical self-care: http://candywashington.com/self-careJoin me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter: @candywashington and check out my site, candywashington.com.Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review on iTunes, here.

5 Ways Self-Care Can Make You Money: Don't settle for less than you deserve

In this episode, we discuss five ways self-care can make you more money as an entrepreneur and creative professional.5 Ways Self-Care Can Make You More Money#1: Take inspired actionThe only way that you’re actually going to make money doing what you love, is by doing it! One of the biggest hindrances to building a profitable business is by being paralyzed by fear and never getting started or by starting and then stopping the moment you hit a road bump. The way to get over this business building block is by building up your accountability, both to you self and to your team.Self-care Tip: Awaken the Power of AccountabilityThe way to transform your vision, dreams, plans, and strategies, into a real life manifestation and accomplish your goals, is by holding yourself and your team accountable. Be accountable to show up for yourself, to think out of the box, to take risks, to learn from your mistakes, to not be afraid to fail, and to make sure that you surround yourself by people who are really there to support you and to cut dead weight when needed.At the end of the day, the only person responsible for your success is yourself, so you have to take accountability and responsibility for your actions and decisions, and most importantly, for how you spend your time.5 Ways How to Take Inspired Action:1. Meditate2. Journal + Goal setting3. Research others4. Seek guidance but trust your gut5. Test and gather data, then course correctIf you haven’t already, be sure to pick-up a copy of Sugar Pills: 10 Days to Awaken Your Inner Power on Amazon, here: https://amzn.to/2GNPDL6Or grab it on Amazon Kindle, here: https://amzn.to/2vxKzWc.You can also enjoy all of my favorite things to get your joy back with my “Self-Care Starter Kit,” here: https://www.amazon.com/shop/candywashingtonFor more on practical self-care: http://candywashington.com/self-careJoin me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter: @candywashington and check out my site, candywashington.com.Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review on iTunes, here.

5 Ways Self-Care Can Make You Money: Taking Inspired Action

Empower yourself with practical and manageable self-care tools to awaken your inner power, joy, and happiness. Our host, author, actress, and founder, Candy Washington, invites you to join our tribe and unapologetically start to express yourself and love your life.Sugar Pills is part of the FIRE network, but can also be found on Anchor FM: https://anchor.fm/candy-washington

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Sugar Pills: A Practical Guide to Self-Care

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