Imagine you go and drink your favourite soft drink only to find a dead mouse in there. Then you go and you complain to that company and they offer you some vouchers for more of their mouse infested soft drink - would you take it?Or you could always just lick a toilet seat on a plane!We're trying this live for the fist time, so you're going to hear us completely un-edited!What a world we live in!What a wonderful world we live in!As always thanks for listening, sharing and all that other good stuff, we'll catch you again next week.Feel free to get in touch with the usual means or leave a comment below...And if you really want to help us keep the show going, you could throw us a bone or two on Patreon where you'll get exclusive not for anyone else content each week!Jump to your fave segment:Weekly Weird Wupdates - 12.26Weekly Was Wupdates - 45.22Back to the Woocher - 57.44Good News - 1.02.40

Table For Two

News Burp #164

Imagine you're a woman and you're having the best oral sex you've ever had, then you smell burning toast and next thing you know you're having a stroke!Would that put you off oral sex? Or does it make it more exciting now that there's a danger element?Also we have a story about a video game that was pulled from Steam (game market) called "Rape Day" that was all about performing violent sex acts against women.What a world we live in!What a wonderful world we live in!As always thanks for listening, sharing and all that other good stuff, we'll catch you again next week.Feel free to get in touch with the usual means or leave a comment below...And if you really want to help us keep the show going, you could throw us a bone or two on Patreon where you'll get exclusive not for anyone else content each week!Jump to your fave segment:Weekly Weird Wupdates - 12.26Weekly Was Wupdates - 45.22Back to the Woocher - 57.44Good News - 1.02.40

News Burp #163

Imagine you're a police officer and you turn up to a call only to be beaten quite badly by a ranting, drunk naked woman. Down side, you end up with some injuries and time off work.Upside, you end up with time off work and don't have to deal with ranting, drunk naked women. (Unless that's what you're into)What a wonderful world we live in!As always thanks for listening, sharing and all that other good stuff, we'll catch you again next week.Feel free to get in touch with the usual means or leave a comment below...And if you really want to help us keep the show going, you could throw us a bone or two on Patreon where you'll get exclusive not for anyone else content each week!Jump to your fave segment:Weekly Weird Wupdates - 9.04Weekly Was Wupdates - 37.46Back to the Woocher - 54.57Good News - 1.05.12

News Burp #162

Can you imagine working in a shop where the returns policy is so relaxed that customers try returning used toilets, worn underwear and completely eaten food? How do you return completely eaten food I hear you say? Well listen on to find out.Also, we take a look at some of the weirdest stuff that women have had to put up with from us men in the name of kinky sex.What a wonderful world we live in!As always thanks for listening, sharing and all that other good stuff, we'll catch you again next week.Feel free to get in touch with the usual means or leave a comment below...And if you really want to help us keep the show going, you could throw us a bone or two on Patreon where you'll get exclusive not for anyone else content each week!Jump to your fave segment:Weekly Weird Wupdates - 8.36Weekly Was Wupdates - 42.10Back to the Woocher - 1.07.48Good News - 1.20.35

News Burp #161

Imagine you're asleep in bed, all tucked up and safe in your house and you wake up to see a random stranger in your bedroom. Freaked out? More than likely.Now imagine that this stranger is sucking on your toes. On a scale of 1 to "oh god I hope I'm having a nightmare" how disturbed and freaked out would you be?This and we take a look at how much prostitution is costing around the world these days and there's some bargains to be had. Y'know, if you can get around the whole slave trade thing.What a wonderful world we live in!As always thanks for listening, sharing and all that other good stuff, we'll catch you again next week.Feel free to get in touch with the usual means or leave a comment below...And if you really want to help us keep the show going, you could throw us a bone or two on Patreon where you'll get exclusive not for anyone else content each week!Jump to your fave segment:Weekly Weird Wupdates - 10.22Weekly Was Wupdates - 38.09Back to the Woocher - 57.04

News Burp #160

Imagine you ordered a sex toy off the internet and then the post man delivered it to your neighbour's house and then their dog tore it up. That'd be embarrassing, right? Now imagine that but this time the neighbour invites you in to collect your ripped up, chewed and slobbered on sex toy. That'd be embarrassinger, right?Yeah, some neighbours are dicks. We also look back on just how easy it is to fake your own death. We might do it later at some stage. If we can be bothered.What a wonderful world we live in!As always thanks for listening, sharing and all that other good stuff, we'll catch you again next week.Feel free to get in touch with the usual means or leave a comment below...And if you really want to help us keep the show going, you could throw us a bone or two on Patreon where you'll get exclusive not for anyone else content each week!Jump to your fave segment:Weekly Weird Wupdates - 6.20Weekly Was Wupdates - 36.46Back to the Woocher - 51.09

News Burp #159

Have you ever thought about faking your own death? Or have you ever had a naked woman chase you out of a hotel after random sex? No? Well that's what's in our Weekly Weird Wupdates this week.Also, Matt is having a bit of a crisis. Documentaries and podcasts about the universe are playing havoc with his relaxation weed time.What a wonderful world we live in!As always thanks for listening, sharing and all that other good stuff, we'll catch you again next week.Feel free to get in touch with the usual means or leave a comment below...And if you really want to help us keep the show going, you could throw us a bone or two on Patreon where you'll get exclusive not for anyone else content each week!Jump to your fave segment:Weekly Weird Wupdates - 8.17Weekly Was Wupdates - 44.37Back to the Woocher - 57.15

News Burp #158

Hey there, have you got a dry vagina? It's probably all the weed you're smoking. This is in our Weekly Weird Wupdates along with how a student ate 5 day old pasta and died and we find out what crazy things you can rent in Japan following up on a story from last week!What a wonderful world we live in!As always thanks for listening, sharing and all that other good stuff, we'll catch you again next week.Feel free to get in touch with the usual means or leave a comment below...And if you really want to help us keep the show going, you could throw us a bone or two on Patreon where you'll get exclusive not for anyone else content each week!Jump to your fave segment:Weekly Weird Wupdates - 8.05Weekly Was Wupdates - 45.47Back to the Woocher - 1.04.07

News Burp #157

Hey there, are you lonely and reclusive? You know what you need to do? Rent a sister!Or you could always just get caught smoking crack and getting a blowjob at some traffic lights.What a wonderful world we live in!As always thanks for listening, sharing and all that other good stuff, we'll catch you again next week.Feel free to get in touch with the usual means or leave a comment below...And if you really want to help us keep the show going, you could throw us a bone or two on Patreon where you'll get exclusive not for anyone else content each week!WebsitePatreonTwitterFacebookiTunesSpotifypodskwod@gmail.comJump to your fave segment:Weekly Weird Wupdates - 10.23Weekly Was Wupdates - 45.17Back to the Woocher - 1.01.18

News Burp #156

Imagine you're 4 years of age and you start going through puberty - or imagine spending nearly five thousand monies on your pet's funeral?This plus we look at some of the weirdest stuff you can buy at your local Costco!What a wonderful world we live in!As always thanks for listening, sharing and all that other good stuff, we'll catch you again next week.Feel free to get in touch with the usual means or leave a comment below...And if you really want to help us keep the show going, you could throw us a bone or two on Patreon where you'll get exclusive not for anyone else content each week!WebsitePatreonTwitterFacebookiTunesSpotifypodskwod@gmail.comJump to your fave segment:Weekly Weird Wupdates - 10.33Weekly Was Wupdates - 41.22Back to the Woocher - 1.02.08

News Burp #155

How much Mac and Cheese is too much Mac and Cheese?  How about a massive 27lb bucket?  Or what are the weirdest things that people have tried to have sex with?This and lots more click baity stuff (because we're not above that)What a wonderful world we live in!As always thanks for listening, sharing and all that other good stuff, we'll catch you again next week.Feel free to get in touch with the usual means or leave a comment below...And if you really want to help us keep the show going, you could throw us a bone or two on Patreon where you'll get exclusive not for anyone else content each week!WebsitePatreonTwitterFacebookiTunesSpotifypodskwod@gmail.comJump to your fave segment:Weekly Weird Wupdates - 7.45Weekly Was Wupdates - 29.14Back to the Woocher - 47.26

News Burp #154

So this week we found the 7 most common complaints from customers and how a manager should respond.  And Matt will tell you why that's all bollox!Then Adam has a rant.Tis a good one!As always thanks for listening, sharing and all that other good stuff, we'll catch you again next week.

Table for 2 S2 E5

This week we focus on some stuff that you've sent us. We have an email from Barry telling how he's finally making his shitty job work for him.And an email from a concerned customer that a manager was being a bit of a dick to his staff.So we answer both, it was a lot of fun.

Table for 2 S2 E4

So Matt still has no job, but that's ok.  It's all his own fault.This time Adam has a list of things that kids can do when in restaurants to stop themselves getting bored and keep them involved.Matt tells a story about when he was a kid, in particular when he was 12.  It's not a happy one, but still.

Table for 2 - S2 E3

Episode 2 of this season means that Adam does some research to get some topics to talk about that are server and retail related.Then Matt drops a bombshell that isn't really surprising when you listen back on previous episodes!

Table for 2 - S2 E2

Matt and Adam are life long slaves to the hospitality industry, working as waiters, bar tenders, chefs, managers, tour guides, you name it.This show gives diaries of what it's like to work in hospitality, stories of the best and worst customers and tips and tricks for anyone considering going into the business as a career.We'll save you some time... ... don't do it!

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Table For Two

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