Well, we’re back! Did you miss us? We definitely missed you. This week we are catching each other up and discussing what friendship looks like after 30. We’re also unpacking Kirsten Dunst’s career, and so much more Xoxo,  Juan and Sloane To make a donation to Operation Helping Hands to help those devastated by Hurricane Dorian please visit this page.     

Thanks for Glistening!

Justice for Kirsten Dunst

Hello, Glisteners! Wow, you look amazing. We are so happy to see you. This week we discuss our love for ASMR YouTube videos and Spirit Payton, the ASMR star that eats pickles for a living. We’ll introduce you to the viral phenomenon that is Mukbang, where people film themselves overeating and get praise for doing so. It’s so fierce. Additionally, we share our favorite products of the week and how we recovered from our latest mini-nervous breakdowns. xoxo, Juan and Sloane, @juanthatyouwant and @iamsloanesteel, respectively. Insta: @ThanksForGlistening Twitter: @HelloGlisteners

Tingles Down My Spine | 22

We are so so so happy to be back in your hearts and homes once again. This week we discuss Luann de Lesseps and her drunken battery case, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child on Broadway and what we are wearing to our funerals. xoxo, Juan and Sloane, @juanthatyouwant and @iamsloanesteel, respectively. Insta: @ThanksForGlistening Twitter: @HelloGlisteners

Weekend at Bernie's the Musical | 21

Juan and Sloane are so happy to be back in your hearts and minds. Thanks for Glistening is your home for hilarity, celebrity gossip, news, ridiculousness, and malarkey. Each week your hosts, Sloane Steel and Juan Torres-Falcon talk at you until they get tired. This week they tackle Omarosa Manigault Newman, Meghan Markle’s Father, loneliness and weight gain. Additionally, Juan and Sloane ask the following questions: What's going on with Jennifer Anniston's Nipples? and Why does Mango flavored seltzer taste so bad? xoxo, Juan and Sloane, @juanthatyouwant and @iamsloanesteel, respectively. Insta: @ThanksForGlistening Twitter: @HelloGlisteners

Surrounded by people and totally alone. | 20

DOLLY WILL NEVER GO AWAY AGAIN. We are back from maternity leave and our feet are still swollen. We catch all the way up and get ready for the rest of our lives together. Sloane tells us how cute her baby is and what motherhood is really like. Juan tells us about his new endeavors and his greatest fear at the moment.  Instagram Shoutout of the Week: @cheatchic_   Xoxo, Juan and Sloane, @juanthatyouwant and @iamsloanesteel, respectively. Insta: @ThanksForGlistening Twitter: @HelloGlisteners

The dingo left my baby alone. | 19

2017 knows no chill at all. This week we are exploring the idea that maybe Richard Simmons is just not that into us. We are eager to discuss all the Beauty and the Beast drama: Emma Watson’s underboob and Lefou’s new Gay orgy scene. Rupaul's Drag Race is moving to a new apartment with washer/dryer in unit on VH1 avenue and we’re analyzing the pros and cons. REMY MA went in on Nicki Minaj and Juan is gonna get you together on the whole gag. “Get Out” is for sure the Ben Carson story and Jill Zarin is back.  Juan addresses old white private citizens in his opening statement. Instagram Shoutout of the Week: @InternetChav xoxo, Juan and Sloane, @juanthatyouwant and @iamsloanesteel, respectively. Insta: @ThanksForGlistening Twitter: @HelloGlisteners

Beauty and the BE YOU! |18

WOW. 2017 is so wild. This week Juan and Sloane ask the following questions: Where is Richard Simmons? Why did Adele win everything? What is Caitlyn Jenner thinking? and Who let that woman in your house? They share their new favorite lubric...err, I mean moisturizers. They open the show with their statement about Moonlight’s big win. Instagram Shoutout of the Week: @youvegotnomale xoxo, Juan and Sloane, @juanthatyouwant and @iamsloanesteel, respectively. Insta: @HelloGlisteners wwww.thanksforglistening.com

How did SHE get in here? |17

Hi everybody! WE ARE BACK and so excited to be with you again. This week we are unpacking Lady Gaga’s SUPER BOWL Takeover. We are using the brilliant text penned by @NickRBurroughs to help fully understand her domination. Sloane has a cold and is ready to have this damn baby. Juan too is pregnant, but with feeling. Also Lala Land and the season finale of Mariah’s World...tbh it was terrible. xoxo, Juan and Sloane 

Removing America’s Wig, the Lady Gaga Experience |16

NEW SOCK...SAME SHOE. Welcome to 2017. “All right, we didn’t have a check for this song, so we’ll just say it went to number one, and that’s what it is. Okay.” We’re talking 2017 and Mariah Carey’s role in the aforementioned year moving forward. Serena Williams is such a goddess and she is engaged. Carrie and Debbie–gone to soon. Kim K is  back on insta and that’s a good thing because we have been waiting to exhale. You can’t edit your tweets so be careful my babies.

Mommy Mariah let me at thy breast | 15

It’s our favorite time of the year here at TFG too. We have have spent four lifetimes worth of other people’s money on stuff, so we really know about stuff. And on this very special holiday episode we are sharing our stuff knowledge with you and listing our FAVORITE THINGS of 2016. Just in time to spend every dollar you have hidden in you easy-bake oven before the impending end of days in 2017. Make our gags your gifts! Also have you heard of ASMR? Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. It’s super sexy and satisfying and were breaking it down. Instagram Shoutout of the Week: @SatisfyingVideo xoxo, Juan and Sloane, @juanthatyouwant and @iamsloanesteel, respectively. Insta: @ThanksForGlistening Twitter: @HelloGlisteners  

Oprah's Least Favorite Things |14

Sloane and Juan are alive and well and living in Paris. Everybody seems to be pooping their pants, which is great. Thanksgiving was delightful, except Juan’s dog almost died. We turned around for one second and lost Kanye forever. She by Sheree has never looked so good and it really is MARIAH’S WORLD. Welcome Home, baby. Welcome home.   Hot Chopix: Kanyegate Lady Gaga is the Best Kenya Moore’s Man is Scary   Instagram Shoutout of the Week: @ChristianDietician So hot. So much good food. Check him out you will SEE.

Hell to the Naw, Naw, Naw. | 13

Stomach bugs and getting thin, Juan might be getting arrested by immigration, Sloane's meeting with Janet Reno, Pittsburg accents, grand dames on instagram, who cares about Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford?, Marcia Gay Harden is a strapping woman, "I seen her at", "I been knowin her", it's Thanksgiving so Sloane got fired again, Fuck 2016, Kylie Jenner is a prophet, Clowns, Prince and Janet Reno died this year, why does McDonalds never have ice cream?, the revelation voice, Juan's Thanksgiving and Christmas plans, Sloane's mom isn't cooking Thanksgiving dinner and it affected her greatly, Thanksgiving Brunch, Sloane reads the Thanksgiving menu at Rosa Mexicano in New York, Cubana Beauty Queen pregnancy announcement, Hot Chopix, Juan skips the dick to get to Hilliary, Hillary's first appearance after her loss, Sloane thinks HRC is out of fucks to give, Juan thinks Hillary should run for senate again, Sloane can't handle The Real, Ginuwine's dick is at attention and is the pride of America, Sloane gets the urge, getting the "beep-beeps", dick that hurts from the start, the manniquin challenge, at the gym, at dinner, the terrible chicken parm at Macaroni Grill, Shirley Caesar and her Thanksgiving remixes, J-Lo and Marc Anthony kissing to stay relevant, J-Lo and Affleck, Affleck pulls some hot latin women, Sloane wants to kiss Marc Anthony and Juan agrees that he's dripping swagoo, glo body shimmer does not wash off, Sloane got trolled the day before the election, pregnant dancing, Sloane got cut to the core... bus arms, Sloane might have threatened a 16 year old, the internet is the most disrespectful person, Mike Pence is the head of a pimple, old white men with money are the WORST, invading a gay man's hole with hate, vile scary and violent...speaking of which- Charlie Sheen is in the news, Dr. Phil looks full, Shelly Duvall need protection from herself, Juan feels like Richard Simmons should be helping her, Charlie Sheen released a poem, tiger blood transfusions?, stay-cation, no fizzy water for Sloane, Charlie Sheen went off his HIV meds, lightning round: Jennifer Aniston's zingo nips, is The Rock the sexiest man alive?, he's a delicious piece of Samoan man-meat, he's sweet silly and goofy, Kevin Hart almost killed Sloane by kicking everyone out of her gym, Juan gives us his "straight voice", Melania's sleeping crown. Hot Chopix Recap HRC: Keep Her Ginuwine's thick dick: Keep It Manniquin Challenge: CHOP IT J-Lo and Marc Anthony kissing: Keep It Charlie Sheen's Poem: Keep It Jennifer Aniston's Nipples: Keep Keep Keep Instagram shoutout: @dublin_zoetrope

Dedicated To The Most Handsome Woman |12

Top and bottom coasters, Brooklyn and Miami, feels strange to be podcasting, Sloane has no more money in the bank just gold doubloons, tectonic shift in our future, Sloane may have passed out from anger, crying from news of the President-Elect, Juan helped at the poles translating Spanish and helping disabled, thoughts on the electoral process, Juan's strange night at the poles, Juan's call for white liberal America to wake up, Juan is a doomsday person, do we need to delete emails and tweets about Trump?, 180 acceptance speech, tax reform is covering up what you're really voting for, the dark web of political correctness, Trump never denied being a racist which was the secret handshake, the Black Lives Matter movement, the tiers of danger, a hierarchy of hate, the 7 stages fo grief, what Hillary's loss means for young women on our country, anger toward 3rd party voters, voter trading, Sloane loves to vote, mandatory voting, technical issues, unproductive Michelle Obama memes, inflatable banana boat and raft made out of coconuts, the role of the first lady, grindr dungeon parties, Sloane feels bad for the Trump family, he's our president and we should respect that (until he makes a brown-baby internment camp), signing the change.org petition,  "they tried to bury us, but they didn't know we were seeds", dark times will bring great art, teaching the snapchat/tumblr generation to be activists, keeping parts of Obamacare, if you ever watched Scandal you know how important the Chief of Staff is, letting the freak flag fly, the birth of Dream Renee Kardashian.

Stunned.| 11

Stevie the Dog is joining us this episode, still in Miami and on the hot mic, wifi and housekeepers, laundry issues, Juan can't relate to the characters in Game of Thrones, passion projects, Cersei hate, needing to know the source material, Sloane needs help letting go of her shirts, the pants shitting happened, old butthole elastic, a delicate balance, shower shitting in Cuba, you and the bucket, the vinegar solution, announcing the son, December will be holiday tips and tricks, Sloane loves voting on election day, Juan wants to "work the poles," working for one gel manicure, confusing and convoluted, rules in different states for campaigning, Stevie keeps interrupting, the ridiculousness of poles, all the Hilary email nonsense, Anthony Weiner and more nonsense Hot Chopix Melania Trump: Copied speech, internet bullying, shut down Twitter accounts, voting for the better choice, Steven Seagal is becoming a Russian citizen Seagal gets the chop and we keep him because he's amazing Melania gets the chop for her speech Sloane the meme generator, This American Life, Sara Bareilles, Waitress, Seriously Feline Leukemia gets the chop Featured Instagram: @andiandiandi & @thomasgibbons & @housewivesarthistory Penis size twitter poles? Burny Popo and witch hazel, you don't deserve these hot visuals, CMA Beyoncé performance, accents, white racist America is being emboldened Juan gives white racist America the chop Carrie Underwood has a baby in her knees, "Why is Demi Lovato?" -Paul, Poot Lovato, babyfat coats, hateration hollaration, Oprah's favorite things, Weight Watchers, Oprah on GMA, $395 custom dog blanket, $80 8" pepper and salt mills, aspirational living, warm boots, caring for your home, turd on the wall, our favorite things, raw linen changed Sloane's life, $80 reading glasses, robes, Ru Paul's Drag Race Fifi didn't show up to the reunion, earning your redemption story, nebulous diseases, moments that we loved, quotes

A Delicate Balance | 10

Inches apart, Sloane and Juan are sitting airplane close to each other, restorative Miami, UPS box sizes, Sloane maternity wear looks, ordering from ASOS, the Sad Charlie Brown, turtle boat neck, womb proportions, jaunty soft beret, Montreal Spy, Sloane is featured in the Miami Herald for her Zika birth announcement, Sam Merlott's restaurant, the hazmat and beekeeper look, Mid-Atlantic dialect, American Horror Story English accent, Juan's Kinky Boots story with Diane Keaton, Sloane doesn't know how to fall in love with a dick and a vagina, straight porn fascination, NPR and dissenting political opinions, friends vs family and political discussions, Juan's socialist bushy beard, knowing who you're marrying, Juan has a dream to have his own room and closet, great wifi for a wedding present, talking to kids about politics, presidential candidate roasting, J-Law was chopped, Billy Bush is a first cousin, the Fox money machine sexual assault fund, the arrogant Trumps, what's a Wiki?, Juan is writing speeches for Hillary, so much political talk!, is the Trump Network going to be a thing? Hot Chopix Billy Bush gets the Chop (but not from us) Kim Kardashian Rebranding her image, the stripped down Kim, Kris Jenner asking for a rebrand, Kim's scarlet letter, Kim needs to take a break and write a book Tyga & Kylie Debtor's examination, pleading the flu, buying things for Kylie Jenner, Kylie buying things for herself, Juan is fascinated with Kardashian money Russell Crowe & Azealia Banks Sloane wants to know if RZA is in the Wu-Tang Clan, Azealia and RZA working togther?, Crowe and Azealia had words, Crowe spit in defense, Azealia has decent music, how do you back someone who always starts fights?, Juan and Sloane both give her the CHOP. The two worst things you can do to someone (according to Juan), 1) spit on someone 2) the five finger forehead push Sloane's favorite 'My Strange Addiciton' addiction, people that dress as rubber dolls, relations with inflatable pool animals, true transvestites, what's Sloane's strange addiction? Car eating. Sloane pretends to be on the phone and is ordering for someone else when getting fast food, fake phone calls, flossing consumes Juan's mind, turkey legs at 11am, mesh screens and Sloane's teeth, King Cobra Sloane's product plug: Fur Oil (for your pubic hair), luxurious French women, full but patchy Juan's product plug: Boots No7 skincare, easily available, affordable

Swerves and Curves | 9

Thanks for Glistening! is your home for hilarity, celebrity gossip, news, ridiculousness, and malarkey. Each week your hosts, Sloane Steel and Juan Torres-Falcon talk at you until they get too tired.

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Thanks for Glistening!

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