Summary:In this episode of the Tragedy Academy, we welcome Mirko Castagna to the show. Mirko is a recovering nicotine addict; he was a smoker for over 20 years, starting at 14. He shares his battle with addiction and details the most challenging parts of his journey and how that affected his mental health. With a new perspective, Mirko shares what it looks like for a person who restarts their lives at 33.Key Points:? Reeducating the brain? Discovering why you started smoking??‍♀️ Experiencing Mindfulness? Keep trying and keep going⛑ Mental health Episode Highlights:[01:08] Mirko started smoking at the age of 14 and continued smoking for 20 years. He notes that people generally start tobacco at a young age in Italy to impress their friends, but he didn’t know that he would develop an addiction that would be hard to beat. Yet, as of November of 2020, Mirko officially quit smoking. With the help of medicine and discipline, his cravings started to lessen until he got down to smoking a vape. While going to speak with a friend, he concluded that his vape was not a requirement to converse as he had been doing. [06:38] Mirko reveals needing to reeducate the brain as a recovering nicotine addict, especially at parties and social settings when people step out to smoke. He also gets into the insane bargaining you have with yourself when the idea of quitting comes. You tell yourself you are willing to sacrifice years of your life to delay the quitting process.   [14:07] Mirko and Jay agree that the need for acceptance was a first step in taking on addictive behavior. You’re not only addicted to the nicotine but the need for acceptance as well. Mirko shares an anecdote of when he told his mother he started smoking. She proceeded to give him a good beating, not because he was smoking but because he would destroy her cigarettes as a child and beg her to stop smoking.[17:50] Mirko describes two different sides to Mindfulness: the way he views people who he sees smoking; this view is not one of judgment but of concern. Mirko now understands that smokers have laundry lists of issues that keep them going back, from stress to guilt to anxiety. The second is the substitution of one substance for another. Mirko is a big coffee drinker, but the difference is the drinks because he likes it and now because it has power over him.[20:30] Mirko and Jay both agree that the only way out is through when it comes to addiction. Keep trying to quit no matter how many times you fail, and if you do, take it easy on yourself; start again. Do whatever it takes to get better; for some, that might look like following a spiritual journey. For others, it’s with the help of medicine. While on your road to recovery, build healthy habits.[22:22] Jay dives deep into mental health; he notes that no one wants to discuss mental illness; we feel people will judge when they only wish to validate in reality. When you come to terms with your mental illness, the subsequent massive step is not to let it become your identity. Mirko shares the story of his good friend, who was diagnosed with a mental disorder, and because of it, she justifies her behavior and allows it to consume her life. She tries to manipulate her reality and makes herself the victim.[34:14] Jay discusses the importance of making amends with those who have not overcome their addiction. He states the need to accept their decisions and ride it out and hold no resentment because, in the end, they are sick and unable to pull themselves out of this situation.[42:34] Connect with MirkoConnect with Mirko:Link in bio |https://bit.ly/3qXodt5Instagram | @Mr_Mirko_London https://bit.ly/2YLxLxvFacebook | https://bit.ly/3FyiKj4Youtube | https://bit.ly/3pafXqPTikTok | @ Mr_Mirko_London https://bit.ly/2YFlv1D

The Tragedy Academy

Special Guest: Mirko Castagna - Just Keep Trying

Summary:On this installment of the Tragedy Academy, writer, actor, and speaker Janet Conroy Quirk is in the studio. Janet is an advocate for the plus-sized community and is co-founder of National Plus Size, a directory that connects people with plus-friendly businesses. In this episode, we dig into the stereotypes surrounding plus-sized people and break antiquated ideology by providing real-world experiences, perspectives, and solutions!  Key Points:? Diet culture? Believing the stereotypes✊? Advocating for better representation? Mental health and weight? Skills for navigating life? Lack of safety❤️ National Plus Guide Episode Highlights:[00:02:21] Throughout her 41 years of life, Janet has been every size there is and has experienced different treatment at each one. She notes the differences in how people treat you in all settings, including politeness, romantically, career opportunities, and most notably in the acting space.[00:08:10] Jay and Janet discuss the media’s obsession with diet culture and the fit vs. fat stigma. Janet points out that weight size does not equal health, and even if it did, that is no reason to treat people without kindness. She emphasizes the importance of treating people equally and not project one’s bias. Most biases of overweight people imply that they are lazy and uneducated, which only undermines what a person has to offer.[00:13:11] Jay points out the internalized shame that comes with the stereotypes of fat people; often, people end up believing and accepted it. Janet adds by noting the concept of body positivity and the misconception of thinking that you wake up the next morning feeling great about yourself. Conversely, Janet notes that seeing more women who look like her in media has helped the size acceptance movement, yet she still does not have any plus-sized friends.   [00:20:33] Janet shares what better representation looks like for her. She lists the importance of seeing people play leading roles in tv, and representation in the clothing industry, but most notably telling stories of successful people. Several factors can define success, so the critical part is to break antiquated stereotypes of laziness and portray overweight people in leadership.  [00:26:08] Janet comments on the role mental health plays in fitness. She states that although she is happy for her loved ones, which makes it a point to exercise every day, talking to a therapist is just as important. Additionally. she points out the condescending comments people make when she is at the gym or swimming in a pool.[00:31:08] Janet shares some practices she puts in place to navigate life without too much negativity. She controls what she exposes herself to, including social media restrictions and not using the apps that much. She also chooses who she associates herself with and sets rigid boundaries and whoever does not want to comply is welcome to leave her life. But she also acknowledges that there are moments in which she has to pick her battles and not let something ruin her day.[00:40:22] Janet reveals the Lack of safety for plus-sized women, especially online. She gives the example of email tracking and escalating to the point of receiving death threats. A second example is a personal anecdote where Janet was assaulted while riding the subway, and no one came to her aid. As a result, she was afraid to use the subway again and took months to regain her confidence. She notes that the older generations are the cruelest, and conversely, the younger generations are more inclusive.[00:56:28] Janet talks about a project she co-founded called National Plus Guide. It is a directory that connects plus-sized people to business establishments that are plus-friendly and plus-accommodating.  [01:01:55] Connect with National Plus Guide Connect with National Plus Guide: Website Twitter Instagram Facebook

Janet Conroy-Quirk - National Plus Guide

Summary:Today on The Tragedy Academy, I welcome Ryan Cooper, entrepreneur and author of the book Fuck It: Why Not Me. In this episode, Ryan wears his heart on his sleeve, walks us through the inspiration behind writing his book, and shares his experience growing up with a bipolar mother and later diagnosed with the same mental illness. Ryan's story is one of adversity and anguish yet, through perseverance, he can come out the other side full of gratitude and triumph. Key Points:? Inspiration for Fuck It: Why Not Me⚕️ Life as a person diagnosed with Bipolar? Managing stress? Working towards essential things and being mindful? Animosity in the home Episode Highlights:[01:03] Ryan was born and raised in Las Vegas, Nevada. He attended Arizona State with honors and a desire to pursue football but recognizing he did not fit the weight requirements, Ryan decided to follow the business side of things. He is now working towards getting his MBA in the sports business.[02:37] After the passing of his father, Ryan vowed to leave a legacy honoring him. He wrote a book titled Fuck It: Why Not Me and released it on his father's death anniversary. The book is a novel that focuses on Life's hurdles and how he could push forward to become the entrepreneur he is today.[04:14] Ryan shares the bipolar diagnosis of his mother and himself. He admits to gaining some perspective after being diagnosed, changing his whole outlook on it.[07:00] Ryan dives deep into his diagnosis and confesses to the uncertainty of his future. Nonetheless, he is determined to be optimistic and recognizes that his diagnosis does not define him, nor will it hinder his Life.[13:24] Ryan shares his ways of managing stress. He emphasizes the importance of therapy and includes additional activities like exercising and journaling.[15:08] Ryan expounds on his love and passion for sports, especially now as a coach. He categorizes this as an essential aspect in his Life that provides moments of mindfulness. As a coach, he has the opportunity to help the younger generations get better at a skill while offering advice as both a coach and student. [18:20] Ryan gives us a peek into his family life. He shares the moment of going from 100-0, having everything in one moment, then having everything taken away from you. While his father was sick, his mother had an accident that landed her in prison, so during this time, the family lost their house, but Ryan was still responsible for taking care of his father. [27:33] Ryan admits to having no animosity towards his mom. Over the years, they have formed a stronger bond now that they understand their bipolar tendencies. Ryan confesses to resenting her in his late teenage years from fear of having to drop out of school and come back to Las Vegas to take care of her, but that has since dissipated, and now their relationship could not be stronger.[31:47] Connect with RyanConnect with Ryan:Buy his book: Fuck It: Why Not MeWebsiteInstagram | @therwcooperLinkedIn

Special Guest: Ryan Cooper - F@#% It. Why Not Me.

Summary:In today's episode of The Tragedy Academy, Jay speaks to Jaymes The Face Anthony. Jaymes is the host of the YouTube show Jaymes Kickback, where he interviews celebrities, influencers, and artists to showcase their art and get to know them personally. Jaymes brings us on his self-discovery path and how he went from a sheltered child to live his most authentic life.Key Points:? Origins of Jaymes kickback? Discovering yourself through the pandemic? Pivotal moments that led to Jaymes Kickback? Pursuing modeling and booking a first fashion show? Feeling stagnant and crying for direction? What does authenticity mean to you??️‍? What does it mean to be queer?⛪️ Growing up in the church Episode Highlights:[02:05] Jaymes knew that since he was a child, he wanted to be a superstar. He acknowledges that he knew he would not be a dancer nor singer; nevertheless, he felt the path to stardom was paved.[03:57] In college, Jaymes studied to become a broadcast journalist and eventually dropped out, but he held on to his interest in interviewing and talking. He had it on the back burner until the pandemic, where he went all in and revisited his skills. Jaymes discloses feeling empowered to follow his dreams.  [08:44] Growing up, Jaymes lived a sheltered life up until middle school. He shared a pivotal moment in his adolescent life when he knew he wanted to become a superstar. That moment came when he was watching cycle two of Americans Next Top Model with Tyra Banks. But he confesses to feeling hesitation at the lack of representation on the show.[11:14] With stardom on his mind, Jaymes decides to pursue modeling. He spent a couple of years building his portfolio with photographers and agents but not bite. He went to every modeling agency in San Francisco but found it hard to get representation until his 2-year mark. During that time, Jayme confesses to feeling confused and discouraged as to why no one would sign him.[15:36] Jaymes books his first fashion only after researching and learning that you do not need an agent to apply for shows. At his first runway show, Jaymes remembers being in awe of how beautiful everyone looked to the point that it brought up self-doubt.[17:48] When the pandemic hit, Jaymes' modeling career went with it. He began feeling stagnant, unmotivated, and overwhelming anxious from wasted time passing by. At this point, Jaymes' was 25 years old and not feeling any closer to stardom than before. Yet, during the pandemic, Jayme hit a critical point in his life where he felt depressed and in need of direction.[24:31] Jaymes shares what authenticity means to him; he describes it as something that comes naturally from you and is intentional. He also shares his experience of crying out for direction to God and finally having a light bulb moment where he realizes that his calling is in entertainment hosting. Once he got that vision, Jaymes immediately got to work.[29:17] Growing up gay and of color what difficult for Jaymes, but he was fortunate enough that his parents never shunned him out; at the very most, they thought he was a bit eccentric and made ignorant comments.[32:18] Jaymes defines what it means to be queer from his perspective. He describes the word as coinciding with the gay experience, and although people used it as an expletive, he embraced the word and took it back for himself.  [36:14] Jaymes shares his experience in growing up in Oakland and being raised by a preacher's father. He reveals never wanting to go to church because he did not want to face scrutiny from other members. Jaymes was a flamboyant gay, which made him an easy target.[42:20] Jaymes shares why he chose to interview people like his career path. He figures that if he is interested in knowing more about celebrities and influencer lives, then so are other people. He also acknowledges that watching other people's demise brings fear to heart but ultimately knows that the only way to move onward is by growing and remaining uncomfortable.Connect with Jaymes:- YouTube: Jaymes' Kickback-     Podcast-     Instagram

Special Guest: Jaymes "The Face" Anthony

Summary:In today’s episode of The Tragedy Academy, Jay speaks with the author, schoolteacher, and single father of three children, Kent Lawlor. Kent details his journey full of peaks and valleys, both figurately and literally. He shares his experiences in raising three children as a single father, how that affected his mental well-being, and his action to become a better person and parent.Key Points:? There has never been a perfect parent? Information overload? Discussing tone when approaching children? Books: Forever Forward and Perfectly Imperfect? Single dad with three kids? Path to self-discovery and insight? Challenging yourselfEpisode Highlights:[00:05:38] Kent gives a synopsis of his book Perfectly Imperfect on Parenting. He makes a point to let everyone know that everyone parent messes up in some shape or form; no one has ever done it perfectly. The only important thing is that your try your best every morning.[00:07:22] Parenting in the internet age is extremely hard to navigate due to online bullying. Kent has experienced it first hand; even his 2nd-grade classroom children are concerned about their looks and how many likes they get. Statistics show that suicide rates in children have been getting younger over the years.[00:16:19] Kent gives us a quick overview of tone and the correct way to use it when approaching a child. He highlights the action of being mindful; it’s about how you say something, not what you’re saying. Meet the child at their level, place your hand on their arm to make a connection, and clearly and calmly tell them what you need them to do.[00:19:45] The impetus behind Kent’s first book, Forever Forward, came as a series of thoughts that he wanted to get down on paper while on his journey to getting in shape. He disclosures that he never intended on releasing or even publishing a book from it. After the birth of his twins, he noticed a decline in his mental health, and after 37 years of ignoring it, Kent finally decided to work on himself.[00:24:17] Kent tells the truth behind raising twins plus a 3-year-old. As a single father of three children, Kent confesses to the logistical, financial, mental toll raising toddlers has on the body. He noticed his mind heading towards a dark place, so he signed up for the gym as a means for a bit of escape. Exercising proved to lift the stress and improve mental health and was the impetus to writing Forever Forward.[00:31:24] Kent shares his perspective on self-discovery and insight. He gives the example of running a 15-mile marathon in the California desert. He admitted to not experiencing an epiphanic moment as he was running, yet he noticed a hard reset in the brain that allowed him to keep pushing and moving forward.[00:36:22] Kent quotes and defines psychologist Jordan Peterson’s phrase of “rescuing your father from the belly of the whale.” Essentially, he details that as you go through life and set goals, you want to reach and meet obstacles that need overcoming, which usually manifests as a new skill. As you continue on this path at the very end, you come out a better person. At some point, you will face the most challenging thing you can imagine; if you can overcome that, you will have reached your full potential.[00:44:55] Jay and Kent agree on the importance of wear your scars as it may sometimes cause shame and guilt. To be authentic means to wear your scars with pride and not let the judgments of others affect you.[00:50:00] Kent shares his intense journey of climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro, the highest mountain in Africa, towering a massive 19,341 ft. The climb took a total of 8 days. He details his last night on the mountain, before reaching the top, as feeling nauseous, hallucinating, and experiencing severe headaches. He expresses the altitude as being the most challenging part of this hike. Still, in the end, he describes a feeling of being able to overcome anything yet feeling significantly small.  Buy Kent’s Books:-     Perfectly Imperfect-     Forever Forward: What Obstacle Racing and CrossFit Taught Me About Life Instagram | @blue_records

Special Guest: Kent Lawlor - Second Grade

Summary:In today's episode of The Tragedy Academy, Jay welcomes singer, songwriter, musician, and producer Zain of Aftersound. Zain gives us a peek into the mind of a musician and shares his perspective behind the music he creates. We learn of the possibilities that lie behind your hesitation and the rewards that come with it.    Key Points:?Podcast: Coffee with Aftersound? What is music?? Good vs. bad parts of social media? Why do sad songs resonate with you?? Summer Nights? Discovering singing? Escapism Episode Highlights: [02:24] Zain dives into his love for music and podcasting. He shares his admiration for Jay's work with Tragedy Academy and wishes to aim for a similar structure. Zain also expresses his passion for music and reveals that what makes him a great creator is being vulnerable to strangers.[09:00] Zain dissects what music is and the power it holds. He gives the example of classical music, that how even though there are no lyrics in the music, people were still able to connect with it on a mutual level. Essentially, the reason he got into music is that it is a universal language. Additionally, Zain and Jay agree on how exciting it feels when someone reaches out when they've listened to your content.[13:28] Zain shares his motivation behind creating sad/love songs. He acknowledges the visceral feeling that comes with painful emotions and how we as a human race tend to focus on the negative and wallow in it. Congruently, he expresses his joy in connecting with people by channeling his emotions through the lyrics he writes, either for himself or for other people. It also helps him understand others' perspectives.[21:17] Zain tells the origin story of how he got into singing. It started with him and three other roommates in college pitching in to purchase a Grand Band Console. Originally, Zain wanted to play the drums but relented being the singer, which was a blessing in disguise. As Zain continued to get compliments on his voice, he began to take singing more seriously, which led him to invest in audio equipment and do covers.  [32:32] Zain and Jay dive deep into the Escapism that comes with tv and social media. They express how it's mostly a façade and serves as a pseudo entry into meditation. Although most people do not like to sit with their thoughts, it eventually always comes to a head.  [41:03] Zain and Jay agree on the collective creative movement that has happened during the pandemic. For the most part, people went one of two ways, they either jumped back into the repetitive cycle or explored their creative endeavors. Zain gives the example of older people on TikTok participating in the challenges, expressing themselves in a way they could not before.[48:02] Connect with ZainConnect with Zain:YouTubeTwitter | @aftersoundmusicInstagram | @aftersoundSpotifyTikTok | @aftersoundmusicLinktree

Special Guest: Singer/Songwriter Zain Aftersound

Summary: In today's episodes of The Tragedy Academy, Jay invites the host of the podcast I Am Just Gaying, Hernando Del Castillo. Hernando brings us along to his journey of reflection, awareness, and metamorphosis. We learn of the societal pressure he experienced as a gay Columbian man and the hurdles he jumped through to become his whole authentic self finally.Key Points:? Coming to a point in life where you become unfiltered? Dealing with unsupportive family and friends?‍?‍? Begins raised by single mother with two kids? Coming out as a comedian? Opening yourself up to learning❤️‍? Losing friends and approaching broken friendships? Letting people be who they are Episode Highlights: [03:14] Hernando shares the moment when his mindset shifted, and he knew that he needed to make a change in himself. He had gone through a breakup that landed him in a psych ward for six days, and it was during his stay that he realized he had to pursue his dream of being a comedian finally. Hernando expresses to putting this off for years because of fear.[05:59] Hernando confesses to feeling as if he was dying inside while working as a director in hospitality. He details how he had an identity crisis after ten years in the industry. Hernando describes feeling unhappy, confused and, miserable on the inside after all the hard work he had put in. Deep down, he knew he wasn't living his truth.[13:58] Hernando reveals the pushback he was met with when he told his friends and family he wanted to pursue stand-up comedy. Considering that most of his family in Columbia are accomplished doctors and lawyers, yet Hernando still made 5x their salary in hospitality, they still did not approve of his choice. It was through this experience that Hernando recognized that he needed to let go and follow his dreams.[22:22] Hernando was raised by a single mother with two kids in Hialeah, Florida. He expresses a love-hate relationship towards the place he grew up, describing it as the most ratchet and amazing city in the world. He describes the juxtaposition between growing up poor and finally have money and the difference you see in people. Overall, he admits to always loving the 305.[26:15] Hernando details his experience in coming out to his mom as a comedian. He shares his mother's frustration and her persisting he get a college education. Although that was never his goal, he caved and earned a bachelor's in Education solely to please his mother. Hernando gives his perspective on education and feels it is not necessary to accomplish your dreams.[30:01] Hernando emphasizes the importance of always having a thirst for knowledge, no matter what the topic is. Learning is the only way you can grow as a person, and the information can come from anywhere; books, podcasts, seminars, trying new things, and most importantly, meeting new people.[40:40] Hernando shares the pain he felt when he lost his friend of 25 years, not from death but ego. He accepts that although it pains him to let him go, he will never want to return to that friendship. Hernando conveys that people come and go, and at this juncture, this person has served their purpose in his life, and it's time to allow new people to come in.[46:30] Hernando gives credit to his growth to being open-minded. His only goal now is to introduce his new self to people, and if they do not like it, then the onus is on them.[56:34] Hernando shares the life lessons he has learned from The Four Agreements. He and Jay voice the importance of letting people be who they are and stop trying to change them, no matter if their authentic self is good or bad.[01:00:17] Hernando teaches us about the different categories in the gay community, with some of the titles being twink, daddy, bear, and otter. He expresses that gay people can often be clicky, so their dating profiles show even who they do not want to date.Connect with Hernando:Podcast: I Am Just GayingInstagram | @iamjustgaying 

Special Guest: Hernando Del Castillo - I Am Just Gaying

SummaryThis week's episode is part 2 of 2 that features a conversation between host Jay and special guest Gary DeFranco. Gary is the executive producer of The Ultimate Fighter and the creative behind Max Glow MMA and the developing concept of Not Uranus. He and Jay talk about creative ventures, COVID-19, Diversity, and much more!Key Points:? Diversity? Mental Health? TUF, the pandemic, and training?‍♀️ MAX Glow MMA? Not Uranus?? Worklife balance??‍? Collaboration & Innovation?‍? Creative expression with graffiti To start the conversation, Jay asks Gary a question at the front of everyone’s minds these days: what did he do during the shutdowns of the COVID-19 pandemic?  Overall, Gary worked hard to maximize his time during the season and watched as his associates found ways to strike a new sense of life balance. Some innovation arose out of the unique pressures, as did a clearer understanding of the limitations of technology. All the while, keeping production value and personal wellbeing priorities drove how Gary and his collaborators adapted.   In Gary’s case, creativity also heavily shaped his pandemic experience. He worked on several ideas alongside friends, most notably his concept for a show entitled Not Uranus. The show, mainly geared toward kids in and around their early teens, grew out of an experience in Gary’s Cleveland upbringing and dealt with such things as graffiti, outside perspectives and judgment, and Diversity. As they discuss the show and its themes, Gary and Jay talk about Gary’s childhood, mindful moments, opportunities for creativity, different forms creativity takes, Jay’s idea of “rungs of happiness,” and struggle. Marketing manipulationJay and Gary both come from backgrounds involving struggle. From shopping through defective grocery and clothing items to stockpiling ramen, they’ve spent decades figuring out how to weather their struggle and use it to their advantage. Jay’s conviction is that struggle begets empathy, allowing people to understand the human experience better. It also fosters ingenuity, enhances the sense of doing things for the love of them, and shapes Jay’s thoughts about life being a circle of stifling and revisiting gifts meant to be shared with the world. Concluding their conversation surrounding the themes of Not Uranus, Gary and Jay conclude that we need all aliens welcome. People, Gary asserts, need to talk to each other. And while working for others’ comfort - represented for Gary by his friends’ mothers serving him spaghetti all the time rather than food from their own cultures - can rob people of the benefits of Diversity. The problem of limited perspectives has rippling effects on society. One particular note to producers like Gary is the need to roll out content carefully, not just for young audiences but for elders who are unused to technological advancements and the nuances their use creates. Continuing under the theme of technology, Gary, and Jay touch on the political and manipulative elements of technological use, emphasize the need for time off and talk through kinds of jobs and the development of camera etiquette. Both offer thoughts on how personal and technical connections in the workplace will change as the pandemic season wanes, weighing relational factors and real estate pressures. The population of workers that service physical worksites, such as cooks and cleaners, is challenging; At the same time, there’s no way to work out a solution immediately; an overhaul of the employment landscape is still in process.And today, more than in the previous generations, there are many outlets for creative content production. There’s an audience for everyone, and if you find the right people, they’ll pay for what you create. Gary’s company, Max Glow MMA, was founded in light of this reality. Gary founded the company during the pandemic, and he crafted it with the goal to market athletes. He wants to help them create their kinds of art without being taken advantage of and to help them reach their ideal niche audiences.   The conversation leads Gary to mention that he’s always had small-scale mental health issues, to which Jay responds, “Everybody does!” Art can help with mental health, as it allows people to plug holes with the right things. In Gary’s view, the standard medication for mental health isn’t always a good first step. Instead, it’s generally best to try other things first. Jay posits the complementary thought that medication is a tool to curb difficulties enough to make other meaningful changes. He and Gary discuss the value of Eastern medical ideas, plant medicine, and the like.   As the episode wraps up, the two offer concluding thoughts on the value of money, the manipulation that drives excessive working, the appeal of “ultimate failures,” and Gary’s commitment to having diverse voices contribute to his Not Uranus project. Listeners should be on the lookout for a Not Uranus project website coming soon! Links: Learn more about Gary DeFranco and Max Glow MMA.Learn more about The Ultimate FighterVisit thetragedyacademy.com for links to all major podcast platforms and past episodes!Learn more about the show on Twitter, Tik Tok, and Instagram (and watch for Instagram giveaways!)If you want to be a guest on the show, email show@thetragedyacademy.comDon’t forget to subscribe, download, and leave a 5-star rating!

Special Guest - Gary DeFranco - Diversity - Part 2

Summary: Today’s episode is part 1 of 2 that features a conversation between host Jay and special guest Gary DeFranco. Gary is the executive producer of The Ultimate Fighter and the creative behind Max Glow MMA and the developing concept of Not Uranus. He and Jay talk about creative ventures, COVID-19, Diversity, and much more!Key Points:? Diversity? Mental Health? TUF, the pandemic, and training?‍♀️ MAX Glow MMA? Not Uranus?? Worklife balance??‍? Collaboration & Innovation?‍? Creative expression with graffiti To start the conversation, Jay asks Gary a question at the front of everyone’s minds these days: what did he do during the shutdowns of the COVID-19 pandemic?  Overall, Gary worked hard to maximize his time during the season and watched as his associates found ways to strike a new sense of life balance. Some innovation arose out of the unique pressures, as did a clearer understanding of the limitations of technology. All the while, keeping production value and personal wellbeing priorities drove how Gary and his collaborators adapted.   In Gary’s case, creativity also heavily shaped his pandemic experience. He worked on several ideas alongside friends, most notably his concept for a show entitled Not Uranus. The show, mainly geared toward kids in and around their early teens, grew out of an experience in Gary’s Cleveland upbringing and dealt with such things as graffiti, outside perspectives and judgment, and Diversity. As they discuss the show and its themes, Gary and Jay talk about Gary’s childhood, mindful moments, opportunities for creativity, different forms creativity takes, Jay’s idea of “rungs of happiness,” and struggle. Marketing manipulationJay and Gary both come from backgrounds involving struggle. From shopping through defective grocery and clothing items to stockpiling ramen, they’ve spent decades figuring out how to weather their struggle and use it to their advantage. Jay’s conviction is that struggle begets empathy, allowing people to understand the human experience better. It also fosters ingenuity, enhances the sense of doing things for the love of them, and shapes Jay’s thoughts about life being a circle of stifling and revisiting gifts meant to be shared with the world. Concluding their conversation surrounding the themes of Not Uranus, Gary and Jay conclude that we need all aliens welcome. People, Gary asserts, need to talk to each other. And while working for others’ comfort - represented for Gary by his friends’ mothers serving him spaghetti all the time rather than food from their own cultures - can rob people of the benefits of Diversity. The problem of limited perspectives has rippling effects on society. One particular note to producers like Gary is the need to roll out content carefully, not just for young audiences but for elders who are unused to technological advancements and the nuances their use creates. Continuing under the theme of technology, Gary, and Jay touch on the political and manipulative elements of technological use, emphasize the need for time off and talk through kinds of jobs and the development of camera etiquette. Both offer thoughts on how personal and technical connections in the workplace will change as the pandemic season wanes, weighing relational factors and real estate pressures. The population of workers that service physical worksites, such as cooks and cleaners, is challenging; At the same time, there’s no way to work out a solution immediately; an overhaul of the employment landscape is still in process.And today, more than in the previous generations, there are many outlets for creative content production. There’s an audience for everyone, and if you find the right people, they’ll pay for what you create. Gary’s company, Max Glow MMA, was founded in light of this reality. Gary founded the company during the pandemic, and he crafted it with the goal to market athletes. He wants to help them create their kinds of art without being taken advantage of and to help them reach their ideal niche audiences.   The conversation leads Gary to mention that he’s always had small-scale mental health issues, to which Jay responds, “Everybody does!” Art can help with mental health, as it allows people to plug holes with the right things. In Gary’s view, the standard medication for mental health isn’t always a good first step. Instead, it’s generally best to try other things first. Jay posits the complementary thought that medication is a tool to curb difficulties enough to make other meaningful changes. He and Gary discuss the value of Eastern medical ideas, plant medicine, and the like.   As the episode wraps up, the two offer concluding thoughts on the value of money, the manipulation that drives excessive working, the appeal of “ultimate failures,” and Gary’s commitment to having diverse voices contribute to his Not Uranus project. Listeners should be on the lookout for a Not Uranus project website coming soon! Links: Learn more about Gary DeFranco and Max Glow MMA.Learn more about The Ultimate FighterVisit thetragedyacademy.com for links to all major podcast platforms and past episodes!Learn more about the show on Twitter, Tik Tok, and Instagram (and watch for Instagram giveaways!)If you want to be a guest on the show, email show@thetragedyacademy.com Don’t forget to subscribe, download, and leave a 5-star rating!

Special Guest - Gary DeFranco - Diversity - Part 1

Summary: In today’s episodes of The Tragedy Academy, Jay welcomes Freda Jing, or as she has coined herself, a Hexagon threat. Freda courageously takes us on her journey of overcoming seven years of clinical depression and how she could heal from that through discovering self-acceptance.Key Points:? Conquering seven years of depression? Getting diagnosed❤️ Finding self-acceptance? The broken education system? Body Dysmorphia??‍♀️ Rejection from universities? Pharmaceuticals Episode Highlights:[02:33] Freda reveals the difficult road that was ahead of her when diagnosed with depression. She explains how her symptoms associated with her mental state were left undiagnosed until age 16, being dismissed and not taken seriously throughout her childhood. [05:09] Freda shares her mental health issues were intertwined with expectations from her and her family; she felt like she could not live up to it. Although the people surrounding her were kind and wanted to help, Freda confesses to being closed off and not accepting the help. It wasn’t until she discovered self-acceptance when she started to heal.[09:34] Wanting to reach people’s expectations, Freda damaged herself even more. When it came time to apply for universities, the act of getting rejected triggered a desire for suicide. It wasn’t until she got rejected from institutions repeatedly that she realized that it doesn’t matter what other people think; they have their agenda.[13:14] Jay and Freda agree that the education system is flawed and meant to keep a person in a manufactured role. They agree that the current system is antiquated, and by the time a student heads off to college, everything they have learned up until that point was strictly for someone else. The school system ultimately 6-separates people by blue- and white-collar roles.[22:18] Jay and Freda discuss the issue of body dysmorphia that’s pushed onto us by society. They agree that terms like “fat” or “ugly” do not exist and divide society. We keep these concepts circled in the community because we continue to lie to ourselves about them. [28:12] Freda shares the need for negativity in our lives to appreciate the positivity later.[29:24] Freda shares a TED Talk she listened to from a Neuroscientist that had a stroke, and part of her brain that made decisions for the future was no longer working. She states how she felt because, for the first time, she was able to live in the present.[31:50] Freda recognizes that putting importance on university acceptance drove her to a mental hospital. She put so much weight into getting accepted, so it tore her down every time she got rejected. Now that she’s in her 5th year of getting rejected does not affect her because loved ones surround her.[36:11] Jay and Freda agree that pharmaceuticals are a double edge sword. Although there are side effects of taking medication, it still has its place in the world. Ultimately, what helps with the process of healing is combining eastern and western medicine practices.[48:31] Freda reveals being triggered by the Olympics because of its underlying competition and the need to be #1.Connect with Freda:Instagram| @freda_dearling 

Special Guest - Freda Jing - Tenacity

Summary:In this installment of The Tragedy Academy, Jay welcomes long-time friend Jennifer Menendez. Jennifer wears her heart on her sleeve and lets us in on the journey of her mother's cancer diagnosis. She illustrates to us the incredible life lessons learned through the lens of a grieving daughter.Key Points: ? Breast cancer diagnosis??‍♀️ Stepping away from the victim mentality?? Helping others? The Yellow rose? Writing as an escape✊? Survivor of abuse? Finding help??‍♂️ Advice for young women Episode Highlights:[02:03] In January of 2010, Jennifer's mother was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and not wanting to be a burden on anyone; she waited until the tumor was protruding from her chest to treat it. After the birth of Jennifer's twin babies, her mother went into remission.[06:53] When Jen's mom's cancer returned, this time as a stage 4 diagnosis, Jennifer took it upon herself to research radiation and learned that it does not affect the brain. Jennifer described what a fighter her mom was, to the point that she taught until 2014, having over 20 tumors in her brain.[10:57] Jennifer attempts to explain how to step away from the victim mentally, though she explains that it's not that easy. Jennifer and Jay make a point of taking care of yourself to take care of others. Unfortunately for mom, she was too worried about becoming a burden on anyone to seek help earlier.[19:27] In the later stages of her mom's cancer, she constantly asked about the yellow rose. Later, while going through all of her old mementos, she found 11 years' worth of her mother's writing, and in it was the talk of a yellow rose that turned red. Now Jennifer's life's goal is to ghostwrite a book on behalf of her mom based on the yellow rose.[26:16] Jennifer lets us in on the escapism through writing. She discloses sexual, emotional, and physical abuse, and although her mother put up with so much to protect her daughter, that pain was too much, so writing was used as a way to cope.[28:23] Coming from an abusive household, Jennifer reveals that this led her to abusive relationships. She assumed that abuse is how people showed their love. When she gathered the courage to confide in a friend, the friend met her with disdain and suggested suicide as an escape, not knowing Jennifer had already attempted that. [36:04] Jennifer reveals that her mother was the guiding light to finding professional help. But before that happened, they were each other's shoulder's on which to cry. Together, they recognized their toxic environment and sought to escape together. Shortly after, they both attended the same university, which led to a Disneyworld trip, and turned into Jennifer was accepted into the Disneyworld college program. [41:48] Jennifer offers advice for women who are in an abusive setting. She expresses how it is nothing to be ashamed of, and there's nothing wrong with finding professional help. The only important thing is that you surround yourself with a positive environment and seek help.[46:43] Connect with JenniferConnect with JenniferTikTok| jennifer.menendez.522Instagram| jennifer.menendez.522Podcast: Jennifer MenendezDonate to the National Breast Cancer Foundation

Special Guest - Jennifer Menendez - The yellow rose

Summary:On this episode of The Tragedy Academy, Jay welcomes documentary filmmaker Andrew Nethery. His new documentary, Bury Us! A Punk Rock Uprising is a film about the Basque punk rock scene. Andrew discusses the harrowing parts of the film shedding light on a sliver of what Basque people have endured since the 70s.Key Points:? Bury Us! A Punk Rock Uprising? Where is Basque, and what does it mean?? Moments that stuck out in the documentary? The lousy side of freedom of speech? Fans of comedyEpisode Highlights: [00:41] Introduction to Andrew Nethery  [01:58] Andrew presents to us his documentary, Punk Rock Uprising, and describes it as a sonic journey through the Basque punk scene and their turbulent past along with the history that defines the genre.[03:03] Andrew describes the people who represent Basque. He relates to it as a nation without a state; most Basque countries are in the northeast of Spain, with one of their most famous cities being Pamplona. Andrew details the long history of repressions under the Franco dictatorship and touches on its lasting effects.[13:00] Andrew and Jay agree that Punk usually gets a bad rep when in reality, they are the ones who are fighting for a legitimate cause they in which they believe. [13:53] Andrew is given the challenging task of choosing a moment in the documentary that stuck out to him; he explains the censorship in Spain and how the pronounced polarization is, and how it mimics what America is starting to experience. Andrew mentions that he created the film as a cautionary tale for America.[17:37] Andrew spells out the bad side of freedom of speech. He goes into the arrests of comedians, rappers, and even Twitter users. The rapper had a lyric about killing the king and was forced to leave the country or be arrested. Nonetheless, he commends the interviewees for speaking out in the documentary.[22:04] Punk Rock Uprising premiered in Barcelona at the Basque Film Festival. Andrew later won an award for best director at DOC LA in 2020.[24:41] Andrew shares his 20ft Slim Jim experience; he and another colleague carried around a massive Slim Jim around New York and into the subways. The Instagram page, Subway Creatures, inspired him.[35:01] Andrew and Jay discuss their love for comedy. They touch on The Chappelle Show, where he took years off from stand-up, and agree that comedians remain misunderstood as a whole. They struggle to get their art out, and then they work to defend their positions.[40:14] Where to find and see if it's coming to a city near you.[46:02] Outro Website: BuryUsFilm.comInstagram @buryusfilm,@andrew_nethery Andrew Nethery Film & Commercial DirectorAndrew was awarded Best Director by the Los Angeles Film Festival in 2020 for his debut feature film. His commercial work has earned a host of awards and honors: Cannes Lions Golds, Silver, and Bronze; ANDY Gold; Clio Bronze, ADC Bronze, ONE Show Finalist.He brings 15 years of professional experience in the film and media industry as a veteran filmmaker, commercial director, creative director, cultural strategist, writer, producer, editor, the many-hat wearer. His diverse background of hands-on creative and production experience makes him a holistically competent and empathetic team leader, having worked at every stage of production, creative ideation, and even strategy. Sometimes called scrappy, he is a natural problem solver with experience producing the high-quality film, television, commercial, interactive, editorial, and branded content from $10K-$5MM. Further tested during 2020, executing high-concept creative during pandemic lockdowns. Comfortable producing and directing 1 - 50 person crews.He has created content for VICE, Complex, ESPN, R29, Live Nation, Smithsonian Channel, Esquire, Havoc, and many others. He has worked on campaigns for brands like Adidas, United Nations, Slim Jim, Mtn Dew, Travelers Insurance, Live Nation,  TD Bank US, TD Bank Canada, Recording Academy, Apple, Google, Disney, and others.He now works as lead creative for TBWARedslash, the award-winning in-house production studio for TBWAChiatDay New York. This role sits between the creative and production departments, regularly interfacing with agency clients, executives, strategy, and third-party production partners. Constantly developing pitches for clients, building treatments and mood boards, producing and directing commercials, interactive campaigns, digital, social content, still campaigns, and much more.Career side effects may include: obsessive commitment to excellence, compulsive storytelling, dry humor, unexpected late nights, obscure knowledge of film and music, the occasional landing on active aircraft carriers, jamming a 20 foot long Slim Jim onto the NY Subway (all for the likes), filming celebrities get dominated by hot wings, working with pro athletes and musicians, filming NASA rocket launches, working with Basque revolutionaries, ending distracted driving, and capturing the US-Mexico border in virtual reality.Contact: nethervision@gmail.com

Special Guest - Andrew Nethery - "BURY US!" A PUNK ROCK UPRISING

Summary:On this installment of The Tragedy Academy, Jay is joined by two good friends, Andre and his makeup artist wife, Niki. Together, they break down the barrier of race, stereotypes, and social conditioning and bring about a fresh, realistic perspective.Key Points:?‍♀️  The Marriage Club?‍♂️?‍?‍?‍?  The perception of the black family?. The ten steps on How to make a marriage work??‍♀️  Black women’s hair, presenting self in white culture?  Intent and universal law?‍?  Social conditioningEpisode Highlights: [00:01:00] Introduction to Andre and Niki[00:07:19] Niki educates us on The Marriage Club, a Facebook group, but primarily a support group, that gives insights and experiences into other people’s marriage for those who have questions or want a different perspective.[00:12:15] Niki offers perspective on growing up in a black family and how in society they are typecasted as broken without fathers when she experienced quite the opposite.[00:15:34] Andre recites the ten steps on How to Make a Marriage work and includes an 11th step to the process, Unity.[00:19:19] Niki walks us through her transitions from being a tomboy in grade school to evolving into a girly girl in high school and college. She expresses the empowerment she felt like a woman and the massive confident booster she experienced.[00:29:49] Jay shares an anecdote of him at a black hair salon where a hairstylist was prepping a wig for a client.[00:32:19] Andre expresses his love for the variety of people there are in the world. From hair to skin color and everything in between. Niki shares an anecdote of having to constantly look presentable in school but especially when it comes to hairstyles at a job interview.[00:40:56] Jay shares his opinion on why the black community expresses themselves more authentically than their white counterparts. Primarily because they do not experience comradery and appeasement, they are often shamed and feel jealous.[00:47:05] Andre shows empathy towards a man that displayed racist behavior; he understands that this person was raised in a certain way and in a country that encourages this behavior.[00:53:57] Andre, Niki, and Jay agree that languages are different in every culture. Some may have a word for one thing while the other doesn’t. The most important thing to remember is that we are a melting pot and offer an array of customs and traditions.[01:02:17] Jay brings up the ever-apparent concept of social conditioning. He and Niki agree that what happens in childhood affects you into adulthood. But in the end, you have to thank yourself for making it this far and working on yourself every day because one thing you can’t control is time.[01:06:56] Jay brings up the idea that most people think humanity has no value without money. In reality, the more you give away, the more you get, so there is more harm in hoarding it than being generous. But the actual value lies in yourselves and introducing yourself to new experiences.[01:11:06] Connect with Niki and AndreConnect with Niki:InstagramFacebook 

Special Guests - Andre & Niki Linear - Don't forget Unity

?Summary:In today’s episode of The Tragedy Academy, Jay welcomes Lucas Hill, personal trainer, and seeker of insight and wisdom. Lucas takes us on a wild journey of revelation, enlightenment, and self-discovery, all consequences of his illuminating experience of 5-MeO-DMT.?Key Points:? Losing childlike wonder? Pandemic fear? Opening the mind? 5-MeO-DMT the process? The experience✊? Finding worth within yourself?Episode Highlights:[01:11] Lucas describes his experience during the pandemic as insightful. He realized that he was living in a cycle, pre-pandemic, which was hard to break. Lucas took this time to slow down and tap into his intuition.[04:24] Lucas offers insight that since we never have the chance to listen to our higher self, we never let those moments of intuition come into play – forcing us to lost focus on the miracle of life and lose our childlike wonder.[05:20] Lucas points out how the pandemic has manifested a lot of fear. Specifically, their ultimate goal is to distribute anxiety and instill that we are not enough or worthy with politics and social media.[10:25] Lucas expresses the significance of opening your mind. He states that we tend to search for things in life, and what we need always happens to find us, alluding to an article he read on 5-MeO-DMT then serendipitously getting a message from a friend offering him this substance.   [16:29] Leading up to his DMT experience, Lucas meets with the shaman, who he describes as a “30-year-old regular dude.” He had quit his corporate job to become a shaman because of his own experience with this plant medicine. Since Lucas likes to explore the boundaries of his consciousness, this sounded especially interesting.[21:21] Lucas walks us through the meticulous prep process before being administered the medicine. The first step is to eat a clean and healthy diet beforehand, followed by a ritual needed to clear any lingering negative energy and get the body ready for its journey.[31:36] Since Lucas had experience with psychedelics in the past, the shaman felt comfortable giving a larger dose. Lucas describes his initial reaction as feeling heavy and instantly having the negative energy pulled out of him, like a magnet. From this moment on, he knew he had zero control and was just the observer. When it was all set and done, all he felt was an overwhelming sense of love.[36:50] Lucas admits that the most challenging part of post-experience deals with western society, specifically how he grew up. He raises the point that the hardest thing for him was letting go.[43:11] Lucas and Jay agree that finding worth within yourself is imperative to anything else. Often we seek validation from outside sources, often only pleasing others – if you are deriving self-worth from outside, you will never feel fulfilled inside.[50:25] Connect with Lucas?Connect with Lucas:-     Instagram | @sirlucskywalker

Special Guest - Lucas Hill - The Spirit Molecule

?Ep 85: Theoni Bekiari - "I am here."? Summary:In today's episodes of The Tragedy Academy, Jay welcomes Greek actress Theoni Bekiari. Theoni was born in Greece but now resides in Los Angeles to pursue acting. She majored in Dramatology in Greece and is getting ready to graduate from the acting academy in July. Theoni opens up to us about coming out as pansexual and the hurdles she overcame to accept who she was, all achieved by love.? Key Points: ? Making art during a pandemic? Connecting with people during the pandemic??‍? YouTube channel Blend It?️‍? Pansexuality? Fear of change??‍♂️ Male and ??‍♀️ female gender roles? Stay Uncomfortable? Playing a character, you do not understand? World traditions  ? Episode Highlights:[03:28] Theoni walks us through life before and after the pandemic hit. Just two months prior, Theoni has started attending an acting academy, so when everything shut down, she felt a sudden feeling of helplessness. Though it did not take long for her to get into the momentum of creating art, making multiple short films with her classmates all online![07:01] Theoni stands by love and how it can answer anything when used in the approach. Love is how she remained sane throughout the pandemic; she expressed it through text, facetime, and even made a short film titled I Am Here. [10:00] Theoni's YouTube Channel that she co-hosts is called Blend It is a show focusing on blending different cultures and learning just about anything they have to offer, especially food![11:44] Having been born in Greece, Theoni was not well versed in the array of sexual orientations. She knew that she liked both genders but did not connect with being bisexual. Once moving to LA, she discovered Pansexuality and immediately knew this is where she belonged. However, Theoni admits to having reservations about it in the beginning.[17:13] Theoni and Jay discuss the concept of fear and change. They both agree that it is natural to be fearful of change; in fact, Theoni states that it is a primary human survival mechanism. Now in the internet age, we are exposed to various people, which can serve as a bridge to understand each other.[20:44] No one is perfect, and Theoni is the same. People will make mistakes, and if you ever find yourself misgendering someone, Theoni states that the best way to approach it is simply by apologize and make it known that you come from a good place.[25:20] Jay and Theoni get into male and female gender roles. What is "acceptable" to wear and behave? Theoni offers the example of skirts and how in many ancient civilizations, men wore skirts, even in a battle where Greek men would flash the enemy as a means to distract them.[31:50] Theoni and Jay emphasize the importance of staying uncomfortable. To evolve as a person, you must lean into the unknown rather than remain stagnant in your beliefs.  [35:51] Theoni shares with us how she approaches playing a character with whom she does not understand or shares morals. Circling back to love, Theoni shows compassion to those who choose hate since they are the ones who have to live a life of contempt.[40:22] Jay and Theoni get into world tradition and its unique aspects.[43:36] Connect with Theoni ?Connect with Theoni: Instagram | @theonibekiari YouTube: Blend ItShort Film: I Am HereLinktree

Special Guest - Theoni Bekiari - "I am here."

The Tragedy Academy is a show created to bridge societal divides in a judgment-free zone using candor and humor. Welcome to class… Each week at the academy we look at society through a microscope, dissect human nature and clown around without risk of getting sent to that special desk in the corner. Adjunct professors and student teachers drop in to teach us about life from a different point of view. Pass us a note on social media and let us know what subject you’d like to hear about next. Or teach us something new. See you, next class… Be cool. Keep learning.

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The Tragedy Academy

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