Ep. 103 Ted Lasso the Christmas Episode, Old Men Fawning Over Younger Women is So Gross and The Fear of Getting Old Welcome to the Modern Moron where we take a brief break from the shitstorm that is our civilization and spend some time taling about the hugely popular Ted Lasso, some of the characters and it’s co-creator Jason Sudeikis.  Part of the show’s attraction is that despite the aforementioned shitstorm this planet seems to be currently embroiled in, Sudeikis and Ted Lasso seem bound and determined to find a bright spot, grab ahold of it and refuses to let go.  All in the midst of their endearing character’s challenges and flaws.   The show is so determined to give us the warm and fuzzies that they even released a Christmas special in August that had all the trimmings of the romantic comedy or rom-com … Love Actually. For the most part, I didn’t care for the Christmas episode.  I didn’t really care for Love Actually either for the same reason.  Too sugar coated for me.  I seem to remember being nauseated by Keira Knightley in particular.   However I may need to revisit the film, if for no other reason than for Bill Nighey’s washed up old rocker trying to make a comeback selling one of his revamped hits as a Christmas song.  THAT is my  kind of Christmas character.  I also love, love Alan Rickman who is in that film as well with Emma Thompson who is also fantastic.  Hmmm, I am talking about a film I don’t like, right?  Where were we? Ted Lasso!  The Christmas episode.  A number of homages to Love Actually in the episode and that’s why I didn’t like it.  Okay moving on… we then begin to talk about our favorite characters in the show.  First off, we can’t remember the name of Roy Kent, who is played by Brett Goldstein.  He’s probably my favorite character because, well he’s old - at least by professional soccer standards - and he’s angry.  What more could I ask for?  He also has a podcast, yuk, and I hear it’s very good.  It’s called “Films To Be Buried With With Brett Goldstein”.  He has a guest every episode and finds out about films that stand out at different points in their lives.  Hmm?  A focused podcast with a point.  What a concept.   Regarding Brett Goldstein, there are two articles in the bottom of the description from Vulture, which is sort of a website covering entertainment and is an off-shoot of New York Magazine.   Here is an excerpt from one of the articles where Brett talks about how he got the role of Roy Kent.  I REALLY want to try to read this as Roy Kent but my daughter thinks I do embarrassingly lousy impressions, which means I might do it anyway… Brett says: “So what happened was — and I still can’t believe it worked out, and I also can’t believe that I did it — basically, as we were writing it, I just started to think I could play Roy; I really get it. I really get this part. But I also knew it was not the sort of part I would usually play. I usually play a softer character. It’s probably my typecast up to that point. So I didn’t want to say anything because I thought, No one’s thinking of me for this role. And I didn’t want to embarrass anyone and make it awkward. So on my last day in the writers’ room, the night before, I [recorded a tape], five scenes as Roy, without telling anyone, and then I sent an email to Bill [Lawrence] and said, ‘I’ve been thinking I could play Roy … but if this is embarrassing, you can pretend you never got this email, and I will never ask you about it.’ Then I got a message from him at like three in the morning, going, ‘Oh! This is good. Let’s see.’ And then very luckily it all went ahead.” Regarding Hannah Waddingham who plays the owner of the futbol club, I’m embarrassed to say I get a little too exuberant in describing her statuesqueness.  And having to stomach listening to myself is making me more aware that nobody wants to hear an old man talk about the opposite sex in any sort of desirous way except maybe… MAYBE other old men.  It’s gross.  That time has passed, show some class and keep that shit to yourself.  It’s where the term dirty old man comes from.  I wanted to leave it out, but then I thought… fuck it.  Just expose the disgustingness of it, but try to learn from it and keep your mouth shut next time.   We also get all tied up looking for a photo of Ms. Waddingham and I try to send the Senator to imdb.com which stands for  Internet Movie Database and it’s great for looking up that guy who was on that show, you know, I can’t think of her name but she did a movie with Tom Cruise.  So you look up Tom Cruise and then you see all of his movies and then you recognize the one you saw “that person” and you click on it and find the actor.  That goes for writers, directors and producers as well.    Okay, Ms. Waddinghams incredible voice… she has performed for many years in London’s West End which is our version of Broadway.  In fact, she’s performed on our version of Broadway as well where she played The Lady of the Lake in Spamalot. Finally, the co-creator of Ted Lasso, Jason Sudeikis.  There is a GREAT, thoughtful interview with him, link at the bottom, from Indiewire.com, which is a film industry and review website that focuses on independent film.  It’s about a 20 minute interview and I’m going to play a clip from it that focuses on the one time where Coach Lasso calls out Jamie Tart in front of the entire team.  He tries to do it once before when they were alone, but if you remember, Lasso’s son comes running in which interrupts what he was about to say to Tart.  Tart ends up signing his son’s jersey for him and the moment is gone. But when Lasso does call out Tart in front of his teammates in the locker room, he keeps repeating the word “practice”.  Jamie Tart skipped practice because he said he had an injury which he clearly didn’t and was passive aggressively acting out in protest.  But Sudeikis using the word “practice” over and over again is an homage to former NBA star Alan Iverson.  Fortunately, you didn’t need to know that to see the message that was being delivered in the scene.  But if you did catch that connection, there’s a lot more going on.   Alan Iverson was a firebrand of a basketball player.  He was only 6 feet tall, which really isn’t that tall for a player who dominated the way he did.  He did an infamous press conference where he was asked about missing practice.  He uttered the word practice 26 times… Almost word for word right?... Even though most people have only heard that part of the press conference, it was at least a half hour long and I listened to all of it so I could find more context.  The context that Jason Sudeikis provides… So here we have the same message about practice, but it’s not coming from a cocky soccer player or an young League MVP… now, that same message is coming from a coach.  Sudeikis turned it on its head… and it was also the first time we see Ted get fired up in a tough love, stick versus the carrot type of coaching.  But it was what Jamie Tart needed.  By the way when I mention the character Jamie Tart the Senator says he thinks she’s a cutie… I think he was thinking of the character Keeley Jones played by Juno Temple. So, we have a nice light and breezy episode talking about Ted Lasso… until… I bring up the topic of getting old.  Like moving to a senior living facility old.  “Senior Living Facility” that is definitely not what they call it.  I think it’s Senior Living Community.  I took a tour of a facility a couple of weeks ago as my 80 year old sister is ready… yes, ready on her own… to move into such a community.  It’s really nice, but it’s also really scary.  Actually, I think I’m the one that’s scared because I know that’s going to be me soon.  Sooner than I think or realize… So I make sure and squelch out the good Lasso vibes by brining that up.  You’re welcome. CLOSE - I guarantee you this topic will be discussed many more times on this program because it’s hugely popular with adults 25 to 49 and males 18 to 34.  Wait, that’s not our demographic.  You know who you are. There is so much more trivia I could unload on you regarding Ted Lasso but there’s not enough time.  Isn’t there?  There’s no time limit… it’s just the two or three of us.  For example, you may already know that Hannah Waddingham played the character Septa Unella on Game of Thrones, which I have never seen, and in one episode she underwent about 10 hours of water torture on set to get approximately 90 seconds of usable takes.  True story.  I read it on the internet so it has to be true. A quick COVID note about our friends in this country who are not getting vaccinated.  Apparently the states where the COVID variant is spiking happen to be red states, which are also states where vaccinations are severely lagging, can you imagine?  Well, here is the Governor of West Virginia, Jim Justice… great name, telling his citizens to put down their conspiracy theories and get vaccinated… Red state, Republican Governor.  God sakes a livin’, that’s a good ol’ boy right there. Also, as of this recording, The San Francisco Giants are the first team in baseball to clinch a playoff berth!   Okay, that’s it for realsies… thank you for listening, please forward this to a few people you think might enjoy it or as a practical joke to some people you think will hate it.  Just forward it and we’ll see you next time. Ted Lasso - Apple TV   Ted Lasso's Christmas Episode Made Everyone Lose Their Mind - Vulture | New York Magazine Ted Lasso's Brett Goldstein on Finding Roy Kent's Soft Side - Vulture | New York Magazine   Ted Lasso Theme - YouTube  Jason Sudeikis on the Hidden Truths Behind Ted Lasso’s Allen Iverson Tribute - IndieWire.com  Analysis: This Republican governor NAILS it on anti-vaxxers - CNN Love Actually, Bill Nighy, Festering Turd of a Record   Jason Sudeikis And Brendan Hunt Talk 'Ted Lasso' Season 2 - NBC Today Show | YouTube Music:  Deliberate Thought by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/ Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/?keywords=deliberate+thought  Artist: http://incompetech.com/

TheModernMoron podcast

Ep. 103 Ted Lasso the Christmas Episode, Old Men Fawning Over Younger Women is So Gross and The Fear of Getting Old

Welcome to a very full episode of the modern moron, a bit longer than usual.  We cover a lot of ground so I’m mostly going to just give you some bullet points… mostly, so you can either be prepared, be in on the joke, or decide to skip this episode entirely.  Sort of a spoiler alert without too much spoilage. Item #1 - The Senator peed his pants… again.  If you’re a guy and you’re listening, you’re probably right in this demographic, you’ve done it too and it’s just a sign to us all to stop wearing khakis. But this very quickly  segues in into... Item #2 - A sincere apology… from the senator.  Hmm, how do I set this up.  We were both in a high school alumni golf tournament a few weeks ago.  He and his high school buddies were in the foursome behind my foursome.  Through most of the round, say about ¾, the Senator was telling another guy in his foursome to yell certain things during my backswing.  Things that might “get to me” and you all know what a delicate flower I am.  Well, It’s one thing to do that from 2 or 3 hundred yards away, and another to do it from the same tee which is what he did himself toward the end.  He yelled from 15 yards away the name of a girl I was in love with in high school that ended in a very gasoline soaked fiery crash.  Should I have gotten over that by now?  Yes.  Is it still a complete dick move by the Senator?  Yes to that as well.  He came sauntering over right after saying it, and after I shanked the drive, as if I would have no problem with him yelling at me during my backswing, and I tee’d off on him, pun intended.  He had been trying to buzz kill my round of golf so I buzz killed everyone’s round by yelling an f-bomb ladended tirade in front of eight people and ruined their round, at least for that moment.  A couple of complete morons.  So that is what he apologizes for.  It was sincere and very out of character for the Senator.  Good for you Senator. Item #3 - Afghanistan.  We hit this topic a couple fo times actually and this section is about the refugees - Afghanistan or Mexico or Central America, what’s the difference?  Why do Afghani’s get sympathy, deservedly so, but our closer neighbors to the south get no love?  Or are they just the flavor of the week and it’s in vogue to give them refuge.  And how are we going to be viewing them in 5 or 10 years when they are still learning finding their place in our society? Item #4 - We are reminded that now California Senator Alex Padilla owes over $35M to California Tax payers from money he funneled to a firm that happened to be advising then presidential candidate Joe Biden.  We originally discussed this in February of this year on Episode 89. Item #5 - The Senator refers to a certain Vice President as ‘The hooker from San Francisco’? Item #6 - Afghanistan again… This time it’s US Marine Corps Lt. Col. Stuart Scheller who was relieved of duty on August 27th.  This happened after posting a video the same day the 13 soldiers were killed at the Airport in Kabul.  In the video he calls out the senior leadership for their lack of accountability in botching the withdrawal from Afghanistan.  I don’t need to tell you that as a soldier, you do not post videos proclaiming any political criticism.  Period.  You’re a soldier and you take orders.  But Lt. Scheller did and he was relieved of duty.  Most of the coverage of this was from the right because it shines a light on the mismanagement of Biden’s Whitehouse and because of that, I went looking for more left leaning publications which to no surprise were not as easy to find.   CNN had a a short article in which:Marine Corps spokesperson Maj. Jim Stenger said in a statement that Scheller had been relieved of command: "due to a loss of trust and confidence in his ability to command.  This is obviously an emotional time for a lot of Marines, and we encourage anyone struggling right now to seek counseling or talk to a fellow Marine. There is a forum in which Marine leaders can address their disagreements with the chain of command, but it's not social media," Scheller wrote in a Facebook post Friday after being relieved that "my chain of command is doing exactly what I would do... if I were in their shoes." "I will not be making any statements other than what's on my social platforms until I exit the Marine Corps. America has many issues... but it's my home," he wrote. The other coverage I have is a Time magazine op-ed from a military veteran who writes: Scheller held battalion command. The Marine Corps is very selective about which officers it grooms to become battalion commanders; the fact that Scheller held that job means he was—before this past week—well-regarded, a Marine with a future in the Corps. Furthermore, Scheller is seventeen years into a twenty-year career. At twenty years, he would have been eligible for retirement at half his base pay with other benefits, like healthcare for life. It took him exactly four minutes and forty-five seconds to throw that all away.  Why did he do this? Until the past two weeks, Afghanistan was not a place, or an issue, most American cared about. In 2018, 42 percent of the country couldn’t even say whether or not we were still at war there. Over the past two decades, the war in Afghanistan has been waged by an all-volunteer military and funded through deficit spending. Unlike other wars, there has been no draft and no war tax. It’s often been said that while America’s military has spent the past twenty years at war, America itself has been at the mall. This has led to a massive civilian-military divide. This botched withdrawal, in which many active duty as well as retired members of our military are receiving hundreds of phone calls and texts daily from their Afghan allies and their families who are now left to fend for themselves against the Taliban, has only deepened this sense of alienation among many who’ve served. One only need to look back through history—from Caesar’s Rome to Napoleon’s France—to see clearly that when a republic couples a large standing military with dysfunctional domestic politics, democracy doesn’t last long. I hope you will check out the links at the bottom of this description, you can also find them at themodernmoron.com under episode 101(?)  Moving right along... Item #7 - Louis Farrakan’s bow tie - What can I say?  The Senator sent me a link to a speech he gave recently that is NOT at the bottom of this episode.  You’re gonna have to find that yourself or ask the Senator.   Item #8 - Then we start talking about the recall of California Governor, Gavin Newsome.  We begin talking about the what if’s of this total waste of tax payer dollars when I stop… and listen and I hear this… (sfx).  I let it go the first time, but when I hear it again I’m pretty sure it’s the Senator clipping his fingernails during our conversation.  I don’t know which is worse: hearing him clip his nails as opposed to being engaged in the conversation or the level of disgust I find at him doing it.  This show is basically a phone call, but it really bothers me, to no one’s surprise, when I hear it. Which he then tells us he had a masseuse come out to his house to give his family massages.  Do you do this?  Should I be making a budgetary adjustment to allow for a monthly massage?  That is so not on my radar of things to work into the budget.  Maybe it should be.  Maybe I wouldn’t be such a dick if I got a massage once a month.  I think I’d need more than one a month. So, yeah, that’s a lot even for a couple of Morons.  Thank you for listening... CLOSE - Did we just sound like a conservative talk show here?  Or is it just because we have a democrat in the whitehouse screwing things up instead of a republican in there screwing it all up?   Regarding The Senator seeing Farrakhan  on Phil Donahue 20 years ago.  Phil Donahue did his milestone talk show from 1970 to 1996… I didn’t think he did it that long.   Regarding Lt. Col. Stuart Scheller, I don’t think we’ve heard the last from him.  He wrote on September 2nd: “Going forward, I must remain committed to forcing accountability across our senior leaders.  I do not trust that reviews done by panels at the political/military level will bring the change we seek.  And I do not trust that it will change unless a strong enough force is applied to the system.  Major changes are needed.  The system needs to be broken and rebuilt.  We need fresh blood and perspective across the entire system. (he goes on) It’s time for a new generation to assume American power.  We are ready, and we reject the current system.   This entire experience has illustrated to me just how hungry Americans are for honesty, accountability, and reform across the government.  This was expressed to me from ALL political parties.  We the people want change.  We the people WILL take it.  We the people are ALL Americans. Follow me, and we will bring the whole fucking system down… in a constitutional manner with one loud voice.” As a person who loves to curse and does so way too much, that f-bomb at the end did not help his message.  And the, “we the people WILL take it.” comment feels a little insurrectionist to this moron.  He could be running for political office in the future and I’ll be curious to see which party he affiliates himself with. That’s it for this moron, next episode will not be so heavy I promise you, in fact I think we’re going to talk a little Ted Lasso… thank you for listening, forward this to someone who you think might like it and we’ll see you next time...   Lt. Col. Stuart Scheller Speaks To the American Leadership.… - YouTube ( Channel: The Thinking Conservative) US Marine officer relieved of command after criticizing military leaders about Afghanistan withdrawal - CNN The Botched Afghanistan Withdrawal Exposes a Dangerous Fault Line in Our Democracy - Time  - BY ELLIOT ACKERMAN - Ackerman is the author of the novel “Red Dress in Black and White” and the memoir Places and Names: On War, Revolution, and Returning, as well as three other novels. He served five tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan, received the Silver Star, the Bronze Star for Valor, and the Purple Heart.

Ep. 101 Peed my pants again, a sincere apology, Afghanistan X2 relieved of duty

Welcome to episode 100 of the Modern Moron!  We do have a special guest for this landmark episode depending on how you define the word special.  Our guest is special to me as I’ve known this guy as my bff since junior year in high school.  We were both undersized, red-headed umm what?  Misfits?   Class clowns?  Maybe.  Outcasts?  No, he certainly wasn’t an outcast.  In fact he was smart enough to surround himself with two of the biggest guys in our class.  Neither of us were academics but he always had an angle and the angle was usually directed toward financial gain.  My dad loved that about him and when he would come over he would tell my dad that he was the son he never had.  My dad thought that was hilarious.   I even had the honor of being best man at his wedding. My guest, is referred to in this episode as Templeton, he gets that name from E.B. White’s classic “Charlotte’s Webb’s” Templeton the rat.  Not because he likes to eat but because Templeton was always looking for that same angle of opportunity… He is also good friends with the Senator.  Both of them have something in common as it pertains to the title of this episode and the 6th track of the Beatles Sgt. Pepper Album She’s Leaving Home.  Both  of them are taking their daughters away to college… one for the first time ever and the other for their Senior year, but it’s after spending 14 to 17 months at home through the pandemic.  Not easy for either of them, but I think in particular for our friend Templeton.  You see Templeton is not a particularly emotional or animated person, doesn’t like to talk about feelings or emotions, you know, a typical male.  But he is very close to his daughter.  I don’t know all of the things they do or have in common but they do share a love of baseball.  They go to ball games together, they talk baseball.  She roots for the San Francisco Giants and he roots for the Oakland A’s, but it’s a real bonding thing and I know this is really hard for him as well as it is for the Senator taking his daughter to the East Coast for her Senior hear of College. My guest also has a love of practical jokes, which I do not share.  I hate practical jokes, but in this case we pull a very short joke on the senator at the beginning of this episode and here is the setup:  I use a service called Zencastr to record this podcast.  Part of the process is that each participant has to sign in and everyone’s name is on the computer screen.  I had Templeton sign in with a phony name like “Audio Compression Engineer” or something like that, so if he saw it he wouldn’t know who it was.  As it turned out he didn’t look at the screen anyway, but Templeton decided to play with the Senator’s head and chimed in as if he was Engineering our recording session as a third party.  Also, it didn’t hurt that the Senator had already had his nightly cocktail. Toward the end of the episode we talk about hiking as our guest had just returned from a trip to Yosemite to go on a couple hikes with his son.  Naturally the Senator loves to talk about his hiking accomplishments, namely the Tahoe Rim Trail.  But our guest confuses this and says The Senator hiked Pacific Rim Trail in three days.  The Pacific Rim as opposed to the Tahoe Rim, Consists of all the continents and countries that surround the Pacific Ocean.. I mean from Australia to the tip of South America and all points in between including: South Korea, Japan, Vietnam, Cambodia, Thailand, the Philippines, China and Russia, Canada, the United States plus all of Central America and Colombia, Ecuador, Peru and Chile.  Meaning, the Pacific Rim is a little bigger than the Tahoe Rim, so enjoy that moment. A couple of  tough Dad’s get sentimental about their daughter’s going from cradle to college on this 100th episode of the Modern Moron.  Thanks for listening... CLOSE - See?  We knew what that he meant to say the Pacific Trail but said the Pacific Rim because he was watching a war movie about Korea and General Douglas McArthur which led him to think of the Pacific Rim Theater of operations… wasn’t that obvious to you?  What’s wrong with you people? As you can tell, both the Senator and Templeton have a tendency to… confuse sayings and mispronounce a phrase or two from time to time.  And they both like to rely on the adage of, “you knew what I meant,” to which I usually call bullshit.  But I sure enjoy it and I hope you did too. I have a feeling we’ll get Templeton back on this program to hopefully mix his metaphors, cause’ that is a lot of fun.  Thank you for listening, please forward this episode to someone you think might like it, hug your daughter if you’ve got one and we’ll see you next time on The Modern Moron. 

Ep. 100 She's Leaving Home

Welcome to episode 99 of the Modern Moron.  In this episode we welcome back the Senator not that he was gone that long.  I mostly berate and harass him which is no surprise, but I really do give him a hard time, downright mean.  All because he has trouble pronouncing certain words, in this case the city of Corinth.  There is so much moronoscity happening on so many levels in this episode. First of all we both refer to Corinth as an island.  It is not.  It’s actually an isthmus, which I would absolutely love to hear the senator take a shot at that word.  An isthmus is a narrow strip of land connecting two larger masses of land. Second of all the Senator thinks it’s pronounced Cor-Nith.  That’s right Cor-Nith.  Normally that might not be such a big deal but when you are as steeped in the Catholic faith as he is, you hear the word Corinthians quite often.  St. Paul was pen pals with someone there and his letters were apparently so important that they put them in a book… it’s called the Bible.  So you hear it there in addition to hearing it numerous times throughout the 70’s from Ricardo Montalbon when referring to their high quality leather. Wait a minute where did that guy come from?  So, the Senator, without pause, calls this Greek isthmus Cor-Nith.  Why did it come up?  Because the senator wanted to impress someone, a priest no less, by telling him he had visited that island in his world travels.  Now, if you’re going to talk about, or in this case boast, about your world travels or that you’re a world traveler, wouldn’t you think part of that worldliness would include pronouncing the places you travel to correctly?  And to refer to them by their correct geographic term?  Not if your ego is as big as the Senator’s. Then he tries the argument that, “you knew what I was talking about” as if him botching the English language is mostly about my responsibility to decipher what comes out of his mouth and not his responsibility to articulate a clear thought.  You know, like your mother used to tell you to “use your words.”  Like a big boy! The reason this all came up is because the two of us had just come from a funeral.  A buddy of ours from high schools mother passed away.  And if you’re listening to this it’s because you’re in our demographic and our demographic is starting to attend more and more funerals, preferably not as the guest of honor.  However, we’re at that stage and we’re going to talk more and more about death and dying as we all approach that bucket for one final kick. Which makes me think of the expression, “there are no atheists in foxholes.”  And as we get older, or certainly as I get older, I’m thinking about or trying to connect with… what?  God?  Jesus, Muhammed, Ginesh… The Buddha?  Mortality will tend to make most of us do that.  As usual, I don’t really have a point, but I thought I would take all the humorous momentum of Cor-Nith and flush it down the toilet.   We begin our conversation with the Senator asking me for permission to do something, which I find to be completely out of character for the Senator, and it has to do with a wild boar’s head… yes, the kind you hunt.   Also, halfway through his story he spills his cocktail and really loses it.  I find it entertaining but he is really pissed off about spilling his martini.  And then… a few seconds later you can hear him spill it again!  So much wonderful moronic entertainment awaiting you.  That you would never get, by the way, with some celebrity infested podcast or with some brainiacs on some topic from NPR.  This is true entertainment from the heartland.    We also talk about Apple’s possible move to monitor and scan the contents of all iphones and the right to privacy.  So our Moronoscity and thank you for listening…  CLOSE - So there you have it, privacy on a leash courtesy of Apple.  You know our conversation went on and on covering a number of additional topics that I may or may not get to because our next episode will be our 100th and I’m not quite sure what or who will be on that show.  I wonder how long it will take to even get to it?  Should we try for a celebrity?  Maybe a celebrity only to this close knit group of listeners?  And by close knit, I mean all four of us?  The suspense is palpable isn’t it?  Hope you have yourself a great day, evening or week, don’t forget to forward this episode to someone who might like it, we’ll see you next time and thank you for listening...

Ep. 99 Its Corinth Not CorNith!

Welcome to another episode of the MM…Wow… long time no pod.  I have not posted an episode in over a month.  I hit a wall or definitely I had issues with an episode and I went into hibernation.  Or I got chicken to publish it so I moved on.  Maybe I’ll get back to it, maybe  not.  But for this episode...Going to do something a little different and that is...we’re going to try a guest who actually has some credentials.  He is a journalist, a publicist and a published author and yes, you’re still listening to the Modern Moron.  As a journalist he wrote for the St. Petersburg times, now known as the Tampa Bay Times, the second largest newspaper as well as a staff writer for the Washington Post.  He has also been the press secretary for one of California’s Lieutenant Governors.  My name is not Charlie Rose and this is not The Charlie Rose Show.  If I were, I would probably be making inappropriate sexual advances to this music…  Now we know why he chose that theme song.  But I digress… my guest has integrity even if I do not and we talk a little about working at California’s state capital and politicians in general.  You’re going to be surprised to find that most politicians have issues with their ego’s… remind you of anyone? This session was recorded in early July.  And he brings up the fact that the corona virus is starting to spread in areas of the country with low vaccination rates and we’ve seen how that played out.  It is also way before the second mask mandate put in effect by the Governor on July 26th. He (our guest) talks a bit about his travels in Germany just after the fall of the Berlin Wall and what his overall impression was of that time during his freelance correspondence work and for the book he would later write.   Also, at one point I try to recall a saying which is, “there’s no such thing as bad publicity” however I completely botch it and make it difficult for either of us to remember.  So, I’m basically letting you know in advance that I already know I’m a moron… see how woke I am? We’re jamming with a journalist on this episode of the Modern Moron and thank you for listening. CLOSE - Wowwww… what do you think of that!?!  Ending on a hard line position like that?  Is this what’s going to propel the Modern Moron Podcast into the upper echelons of double digit listeners?  Was that powerful enough for you?  Do you really agree with that and say hell yeah, get vax’d or move to the back.  That’s catchy right? Or do you strongly oppose that view like this gentleman being interviewed on the streets of Alabama...  Okay, thank you that was great.   Our guest mentioned a book title about the closing of the American mind.  The full title of the book is called “The Closing of the American Mind: How Higher Education Has Failed Democracy and Impoverished the Souls of Today's Students”... sounds relevant doesn't’ it?  It was written in 1987!  Okay, that’s it for now, … please forward it to someone you think might find it interesting or if you just want to annoy someone, forward it to them and tell them they get mentioned by name in the middle of the episode.  We would greatly appreciate it.  Thank you for listening to the Modern Moron.

Ep. 98 The Journalist

Welcome to another episode of the Modern Moron and in this episode we turn the way back machine on to go all the way back to college.  Specifically… actually it’s not specific at all, as my guest is my old college roommate. We reminisce about being college freshman away from home, the freedom we had and how much we would cut up and laugh like a couple of 12 years old’s having a sleepover… no offense to 12 year old’s.  We talk about how I used to criticize his hygiene habits and behaviors and how much time he spent in front of the mirror.  He used to sway back and forth in font of the mirror while brushing his teeth or primping in general.  Why do I bring this up?  Because he says that his son does the same thing!  In passing he mentions that he also has a condition called Achondroplasia which affects growth of the limbs, spinal column and skull.  This condition is more commonly known as dwarfism and in most cases requires multiple very invasive surgeries to cope with this condition, but fortunately his son has not, which leads to a conversation about situations in life that first appear as obstacles many times become opportunities to view the world from a broader perspective.  Isn’t that nice?  All from a guy who likes to sway back and forth in front of the bathroom mirror. My old roommate is very energetic, very passionate, gregarious and bombastic is the word he uses.  You won’t need to strain to hear us or look at your phone to see if the volume will go up further… it’ll be fine.   We start off with a short conversation that I almost left out.  I was going to leave it out because it’s just too juvenile even for this show.  We used to have this gibberish language we used to speak that no one understood, no one appreciated and it, to me anyway is a bit embarrassing at how juvenile it was then and obviously is now… but we still do it.  It would almost be like listening to a couple of toddlers in a playpen talk to each other even though neither of them has the capability of speaking intelligently.  It’s when my roommate says the gibberish word “Skurvathur”… I’m embarrassed saying it and I actually spelled it out in a text to him and he texted back with another gibberish word we used to use… a very riveting way to start a hard hitting podcast.  “What podcast do you listen to?  Well I listen to the true crime podcast, I listen to the conspiracy theory podcast… I listen to Joe Rogan… I listen to Pod Save America and I listen to a couple of senior citizens speak gibberish to one another.  Yeah, thank  you SO much for listening, but you might want to keep it under your hat if you’re at a cocktail party and the subject of podcasts comes up… say you listen to something from NPR or something on finance… makes you sound half intelligent.  Also, either I curse more than I realize or my guest doesn’t curse at all, but I spent a good deal of time bleeping out my… I’m sorry I had our production staff edit out a lot of my foul language.  Sounds more professional.  It’s my college roommate on the Modern Moron... CLOSE - Isn’t it nice to reminisce about the old days?  I only played Rugby for a year and I had totally forgotten about all those songs we used to sing after games and now that I think about it, most of those songs were EXTREMELY sexist.  There were songs about Dinah and a song about a guy named “Abdul Abulbul Amir” and I don’t remember them being very complimentary.  There would be a chorus, and during each chorus someone from the team would put their beer stein… or red solo cup on top of their head to indicate they were  going to sing the next verse and the song would continue until no one could think of another disgusting verse.  Rugby was not played in any high schools back then and I believe a lot of high schools do have Rugby programs now, but I wonder about the after game rituals. Also, it occurred to me that the only way to learn those songs was pretty much through oral tradition.  There was no binder full of Rugby songs, there was no website for Rugby songs which by the way yes there is a website for Rugby songs and even recordings of drunken Rugby players singing those songs, they aren’t very audible as most of them are slurring their words but isn’t the internet… great?  Or is it? I do have more from my conversation with my old college roommate and I hope our reminiscing brought back some memories of your post high school or college years.  Man that was a long time ago and man do I have so much wisdom and so many opinions I constantly want to impart on whoever is within earshot throughout the day.  Fortunately most of the time that only involves my poor dog.   Thank you for listening… please forward this to ONE person you think might like this show and another thing about those Rugby songs?... they’re a lot more entertaining after about 3 pints.   We’ll see you next time on the Modern Moron…  Conditions and Diseases: Achondroplasia - Johns Hopkins Medical  Dirty Rugby Song #1 - YouTube Dirty Rugby Song #2  - YouTube

Ep. 97 My College Roommate Pt. 1

Welcome to a program where if you hear the phrase tick-tock you can rest assured we are talking about either a clock or the time of day… it’s the Modern Moron Little bit of a long episode for you  and in it we spend a great deal of time talking about exclusivity.  That’s a good thing right?  You hear about something being exclusive that means not everyone can get it, or experience it.  And not only does it mean you do get to experience it, most people do NOT get to experience it… whatever “it” is… they’re excluded.   Now that I say it out loud, this podcast seems pretty exclusive because it’s basically it’s you, me and maybe one other person we don’t know.  That’s pretty exclusive! We talk about exclusive brands of alcohol like George Clooney’s Tequila who started Casamigos Tequila in 2013 along with two other partners for about 1.8 million… so $600K a piece.  In 2018 they sold it for $1B, that’s billion with a B, which made him the highest paid actor in 2018 even though he didn’t make film.  So be looking for Senator Single Barrel Rye Whiskey coming to a… specialty liquor store?  Hmm I think it’s going to be more exclusive than that.  You’ll probably have to go straight to him. Next up, we talk about the latest investigation into Trump searching for people leaking information to the news media during his administration.  Trump went to Apple to get phone records.  The Senator is upset because he says Obama did the same thing while he was in office. Now, you know that the last thing I would ever want to do is agree blindly with the Senator.  So… I did look up a couple of things and when I say I looked it up I mean barely… no, I do not read the entire article from newspapers, that’s why most decent journalists should write with the traditional inverted pyramid goddammit.   Okay, the articles I’m citing are from a NYT Op Ed.  Yes it’s an opinion article BUT, it’s the NY Times.  Also  Wired Magazine.  You may be thinking, “why Wired?”  And I will tell you if you’ll calm down and listen to me for a second.  I chose Wired because A) I’ve heard of it, even though they are a tech magazine that focuses on technology as it effects areas of our life including politics, B) because it’s another left leaning source… left center and C) because mediabiasfactcheck.org rates them HIGH due to proper sourcing. From a 2013 Wired article - The Department of Justice secretly obtained phone records for reporters and editors who work for the Associated Press news agency, including records for the home phones and cell phones of individual journalists, according to the AP, in what the agency characterized as "serious interference with AP's constitutional rights to gather and report the news." The records, covering all of April and May 2012, were seized by the DoJ earlier that year and covered more than 20 separate phone lines. The records listed outgoing calls for both the work and personal phone numbers of individual reporters, as well as the general phone lines for AP bureaus in New York, Washington and Hartford, Conn., and a main number used by AP reporters in the House of Representatives. And this is from the December 2016 OP ED in the New York Times:  If Donald Trump decides as president to throw a whistle-blower in jail for trying to talk to a reporter, or gets the F.B.I. to spy on a journalist, he will have one man to thank for bequeathing him such expansive power: Barack Obama. Mr. Trump made his animus toward the news media clear during the presidential campaign, often expressing his disgust with coverage through Twitter or in diatribes at rallies. So if his campaign is any guide, Mr. Trump seems likely to enthusiastically embrace the aggressive crackdown on journalists and whistle-blowers that is an important yet little understood component of Mr. Obama’s presidential legacy. Criticism of Mr. Obama’s stance on press freedom, government transparency and secrecy is hotly disputed by the White House, but many journalism groups say the record is clear. Over the past eight years, (remember this was written in 2016) the administration has prosecuted nine cases involving whistle-blowers and leakers, compared with only three by all previous administrations combined. It has repeatedly used the Espionage Act, a relic of World War I-era red-baiting, not to prosecute spies but to go after government officials who talked to journalists. Under Mr. Obama, the Justice Department and the F.B.I. have spied on reporters by monitoring their phone records, labeled one journalist an unindicted co-conspirator in a criminal case for simply doing reporting and issued subpoenas to other reporters to try to force them to reveal their sources and testify in criminal cases. Now I don’t think this article would be allowed to go to print in the NY Times if those statements were untrue, especially citing the number of cases.  Again, I’d take Obama over Trump any day of the week as a president but it’s good to point out hypocrisy when it occurs.   And of course, no politician, regardless of party affiliation, wants what they consider classified information to get leaked from someone who is supposedly on their team.   Okay, so then we get to my favorite part of this episode where the Senator tells me he’s going on a retreat to one of the most exclusive social clubs on the west coast.  The fun part is trying to figure out WHO decided this club is so exclusive.  Because when I try to search for it guess which club doesn’t show up in any top ten lists of exclusive clubs?  He finally has me go to the Wikipedia page for the club he’s talking about, but you and I know that either of us can make any statement we want on a wikipedia page so apparently this club is so exclusive that nobody knows about it.  Hell, my house is just as exclusive as this goddamn place.  I’m the only member.  How’s that for exclusive?  Okay, I’ve talked to much already and the episode hasn’t even started.  It’s time to get fancy and really exclusive on the Modern Moron. CLOSE - Wow, long winded.  By the way the tequila from way back at the beginning of the episode isn’t Geroge Clooney Tequila, it’s Casamigos tequila as I said. George Clooney didn’t sell his name or anything, that’s just me being an idiot.  That’s it, thank you for listening to this 96th episode of The Modern Moron… you know, for old people.  See you next time. Geroge Clooney of George Clooney Tequila - The $1 billion sale of George Clooney's tequila company just made him 2018's highest-paid actor — here's the story of how the brand was set up by accident - Business Insider Opinion | If Donald Trump Targets Journalists, Thank Obama - NY Times  Obama Administration Secretly Obtains Phone Records of AP Journalists - Wired

Ep. 96 - I'm So Fancy I'm EXCLUSIVE

I have some good news for you.  The majority of this episode doesn’t involve politics!  I know, right?  A breath of fresh air.  Also, my guest is NOT the Senator!  How about that?  My guest is my OP from my radio days and like you she is coming out of  quarantine/ hibernation and like most of you… probably… she’s watched a little more television, I’m sorry, streaming content in the last year and change than usual.  And we settle on talking about “The Crown” on Netflix.  Yes, it’s been on for years but since when has this show ever been cutting edge about anything? Personally, I’m on season 4 of The Crown, which brings in Princess Diana and I’m finding it a bit hard to watch.  I remember my mother waking up at 4 or 5 am in the Summer of 1981 to watch the wedding.  I never knew my mom gave a hang about that stuff but there she was with the TV on.  I heard the TV on so I went in and watched it with her.  I do remember how wildly popular Princess Diana was and The Crown gives a look behind the curtain of the royal family and in many, many instances it’s not pretty. In fact, speaking of being behind things like curtains, if you’ve watched any amount of The Crown, my observation is that the producers and directors really want you to know that these people are imprisoned as much as they are entitled.  I have found there to be lot’s of camera angles depicting a solitary Queen Elizabeth in shadowed profile, lot’s of long shots of the queen through hallways sitting alone at a desk or fancy chair and many shots of Royals looking out a window at what is going on at the gates of whatever palace they’re in or who might be pulling up, but always looking out the window and the window panes might as well be prison bars. So, Princess Diana… I’m finding it uncomfortable to watch some of this as she was part of my generation.  She would have turned 60 on July 1st of this year.  But in season 1 we find out about a very young, soon to be Queen Elizabeth.  Much sooner than she ever could have imagined and she probably didn’t imagine it at all because it was her uncle who was King.  King Edward VIII.   About 13 minutes in my guest mentions The Wallace Simpson affair.  This is the reference to the woman who King Edward fell crazy in love with to the point he abdicated the thrown. So why wasn’t King Edward allowed to marry Wallis Simpson?  Well she had been married… twice.  Once was enough to put her out of the running back in the pre World War II era.  During her first marriage she was touring China and while in Beijing she had an affair  with a man, got pregnant and had a fouled up abortion, which left her infertile.  How’s that for hot gossip?  I guess it’s not very hot when it happened almost a hundred years ago huh? Anywho!... the guy she had an affair with?  An Italian diplomat named Galeazo Ciano, who would later go on to become the son-in-law of… Benito Mussolini.  I guess she had a thing for dictators.  Bottom line, she was bad news to the Royal family and King Edward absolutely could not marry her.  But she had him hooked big time.   You might think of her as the Yoko Ono of the Royals. So we do talk quite a bit about “The Crown” as it pertains to history and the great actors in the series.  Then we have a quick phone interview, our first, with... a politician.  My OP used to be a news director and she still has some contacts into that world so… that’s all I’m going to say for now.  Call it a surprise. We talk about the Crown and talk to a Clown… on the Modern Moron… I just did that ‘cause it rhymed. CLOSE - I’m not sure how to close this episode as I’m still processing that.  Um… maybe this is what we needed to get the Modern Moron to the next level?  I don’t know.  My thanks to my Old Partner and by Old I don’t mean in years but my old radio partner and thanks to her for her old journalism connections. Oh! Here’s how we’ll wrap up since we spent most of our time talking about The Crown on Netflix.  Production has ramped back up and I believe they plan to begin shooting this July so, buy the time you get to this, they could be shooting Season 5!  There will be a new Queen Elizabeth as they have changed every two seasons.  For Season 5 Queen Elizabeth will be played by Imelda Staunton.  While that may not be a household name in the U.S., Imelda Staunton has won at least 3 Laurence Olivier Awards for either best Actress or Best Supporting performances.  The Laurence Olivier Award in Britain is the equivalent to a Tony Award over here.  In 2005 you may remember she was also the lead in a film called Vera Drake for which she was nominated for an Oscar.  Hillary Swank won that year along with Clint Eastwood as director for Million Dollar Baby. If you haven’t seen Vera Drake, and you like films about the commoner, they everyday person and you don’t always need special effects in your films, you will not be disappointed.  The director is Mike Leigh who was also nominated that year for Best Director and for Best Original Screenplay.  Mike Leigh is sort of a director’s director who relies on improvisation and that film required 6 months of rehearsal before they began shooting the film.   You WILL remember Imelda Staunton however, from the 5th Harry Potter film “The Order of The Phoenix” where she played Delores Umbridge who took over the school to replace Albus Dumbledore at Hogwarts?  Remember how hideous she was?  Watch that performance next to Vera Drake and you’ll be as big a fan of hers as I am.  Can you tell? Okay, thank you again to my OP and to you for tuning into another episode of the Modern Moron.  In fact, if you liked this episode, while you have this open… forward it to someone.  That’s easier than liking or subscribing right?  Or not, just a thought.  

Ep. 95 The Crown and The Clown, I Mean the President

In this outdated installment we banter about a number of things including my great idea that  Caitlin Jenner should be on a box of Wheaties and we mention some athletes who have been on Wheaties boxes, yes they still make Wheaties, including Kyrie Irving, who the Senator doesn’t know and I say he plays for the Celtics when in fact Kyrie Irving is currently with the Brooklyn Nets who are one step away from going to the Eastern conference finals! NBA playoffs https://www.nba.com/playoffs/2021 We talk briefly about the Kentucky Derby which was all they way back on May 1st.  The horse who won, Medina Spirit, had the title stripped due to failing a drug test.  The hall of fame trainer Bob Baffert, had this to say… Should there be a rush to judgement?  Should we point a finger?  On this show?  Hell yes we are, especially considering the horse failed a second drug test for the same substance.  This horse is not a team player, he’s clearly an addict, the trainer is an enabler and there needs to be an intervention. What else... The Senator pisses me off in this episode and it wasn’t until after I listened to it that I realized I was pissed at him the reason why is that I have to clean up the mess of his sweeping accusations.  This is what mouthy McMoutherson mouthed…  It’s right after I mention Chuck Schumer, who is Jewish.  He immediately mouth’s off about the cease fire in Jerusalem between Israel and Palestine which goes all the way back to May 20th so that lets you know how cutting edge this podcast is.  Anyway, He voices that he is clearly in support of Israel as is our country in case you didn’t know.    But the Senator is upset that democratic leaders have not spoken out in support of Israel in this situation.  What would you have Chuck Schumer say?  That Palestine set up their military headquarters in schools and hospitals as a cowards move as you stated?  Is that his place?  And should it just be him as a Senator because he happens to be Jewish?  But that would show Schumer’s insensitivity to the Muslim population and the Muslim’s vote by the way.  But Islam accounts for only 1% of the California population according to a wikipedia page on California demographics.   Then he suggests… “suggests” that Israel is better off with Jerusalem as capital of Israel.  Something that Trump did while in office… a move that other presidents both democrat and Republican suggested but did not do.  Now, I’m a moron… I don’t know, is it? Is Israel is better off with Jerusalem as capital? But when I press the Senator as to why that might be a good thing or not, he has no fucking answer.  So he brings up a very sensitive subject like the middle east and the capital of Israel being Jerusalem and say, “I don’t know”.   Why is that controversial.  It depends on who you ask. So why did Trump do it: He fulfilled a campaign promise… period.  And he did it while a number of other presidents talked about doing it but did not… actually since 1995 at least.  HOWEVER it was said the promise was kept, POSSIBLY, at the expense of the peace process.  Is the peace process more important than where Israel’s capital is located?  That answer is going to be different for different people I think. Here’s what’s in Jerusalem that are so important to three of the worlds main religions: Dome of the Rock and the Al Aqsa Masque right next to it is the 3rd holiest site in Islam. Maybe 50 feet from that is The Western Wall is a pilgrimage site where Jews from all over the world come to pray. Then the Church of the Holy Sepulchre is only about 5-600 Yards away from those… so, a long par 5 and THAT’S a long ways from the other two comparatively.  The Church of the Holy Sepulchre is where many Christians believe Jesus was crucified.  Pretty significant place if you hold Christianity close to you.  Frankly, I spoke to Jesus about this and he said, “aren’t there airplanes and ships that can take you anywhere to practice your faith… go ahead, spread out.  There’s plenty of nice real estate in other places.” We end on a lighter note, thank God, when ding dong brags to me that he’s purchased himself some Wagu beef.  First of all, and neither of us should be surprised by this, he mispronounced it.  It’s called Wagyu Beef.  Wagyu beef is a breed of cattle developed in Japan crossing Wagyu cows with other European cattle to develop a beef that has three times more marbling fat than U.S. prime-grade beef.  So this meat has more evenly distributed fat in the meat, otherwise known as marbling.  That fat distributes throughout the steak giving you a tender, flavorful experience, which the Senator would like you to  know is very expensive.  That’s the main thing. So thank you Senator for this extraordinarily long introduction to tie up the loose ends of your big mouth.  Thank you for listening to this episode that should melt in your ears like an auditory Wagyu steak…

Ep. 94 Kaitlin Jenner Wheaties Box Peace in the Middle East Again and Wagyu Beef

Welcome to another Episode… So the Senator is back from his whirlwind trip to the Grand Canyon to hike from the South Rim to the North rim and I know he can’t wait to talk about it.  So naturally I give him a laundry list of other topics to discuss to keep him from talking about his true love… himself.  However... The Senator jumps on Kamala Harris, noting her last press conference was over two months ago, since being named to head the border situation.  So in the show description I will put a link to a story from the LA Times which defends and criticizes her at the same time for not going down to the border or holding a press conference.  He also goes back to his favorite Willie Brown/ Kamala Harris relationship claiming in no uncertain terms that the vice president slept her way to a position as a Supervisor in the city of San Francisco.  Wow.  She was actually the District Attorney for San Francisco.     Then we talk for a few minutes about a facetime call we did that included a mutual friend and his wife as well as the Senator’s daughter, who has been a guest on this show.  She changes her hair color weekly, partly because her mother is a licensed beautician and… how cool is that.  So I give her a hard time about changing her hair color every week and she questions how horribly her father and I treat each other considering that we are supposed to be friends.  She’s got a point.     And then… we can’t put it off any longer and we talk about the big hike through the Grand Canyon. And in all fairness his hike was a huge accomplishment.  It was a very grueling hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon, across and back up non-stop.     And so… Here’s our episode, “Where is Kamala Harris?  She’s not protesting at the border anymore, not is she holding press conferences and I don’t think they found her in the Grand Canyon either.  Maybe she’s hanging out with Waldo in a very crowded picture book.  Thanks for listening... CLOSE - So there you have it, a major accomplishment for one of us over 55.  I think he’s over 55 and if he is not, I’m very sure we’ll hear about it very soon.  Hope you have or had a wonderful Memorial Day holiday wherever you are  Republicans aren’t alone in saying Kamala Harris should visit the southern border - LA Times

Ep. 93 Where's Kamala? Not at the Border or at the bottom of the Grand Canyon

Welcome to another episode of the Modern Moron… I sit and listen to the opinions coming out of our mouths and I just think where the hell do either of us think we are coming off with these grand opinions about shit neither of us has a fucking clue about.  I’ve never been to Europe, I know nothing… noth-thing about any culture even in this country and yet I truly think my analysis is infallible.  For realzies.  The humility gene… literally fell off our DNA strand.   We start our conversation in grand style as the Senator inquires about the location of the Oscars a few months ago at Los Angeles’ Union Station.  From this, the Senator works his way to Dr. Anthony Fauci and implies the senior medical advisor to numerous presidents graduated last in his class in medical school.  So, I take the bait as I usually do, as if the Senator has any room to talk about academic achievements.  This is from a site called biography.com…  Dr. Fauci graduated from College of the Holy Cross in Worcester, Massachusetts as a pre-med. After graduating first in his class from New York City's Cornell Medical College in 1966, he completed his internship and residency at New York Hospital-Cornell Medical Center.   So basically, the exact opposite of what my idiot first partner claimed.  Complete opposite… solidifying his seat at the head of the Moron’s table.  At least you’re number one at something Senator.  Good for you. Again… he set me up and its my fault for taking the bait.  Of all people to criticize how another person speaks.  (senator) Need I say more? Finally  we hit upon a topic that is more our speed, which is an app?... called memmo.  Memmo  with two m’s.  You can go there and have celebrities, send a video or audio message to a friend or family member.  And this site’s idea of a celebrity is VERY broad.  I don’t know most of them which is partially due to my age and not being in touch with society, but a good portion is due to what constitutes a celebrity these days, which is not much. So I hope you find something in this episode that is informative, educational (probably not) or entertaining. Thanks for listening... CLOSE - While we're on the subject of sports, Running back Ricky Williams who was  mentioned earlier went to the University of Texas and then played three years for the New Orleans Saints, eight years for the Miami Dolphins, and his final season in 2011 for the Baltimore Ravens. He also played one year in the Canadian football league and four years in the Philadelphia Phillies minor league system.  So, there’s more information about Ricky Williams than you probably wanted.   Chocolate Rain is a song recorded, put on YouTube and went viral back in 2007.  This kid was a professor’s assistant at a university in Minnesota and he “blew up” as they say.  The dang video currently has over 130 million views… how about that?  And the theme song from the movie Brian’s Song that you heard a snippet of was composed by Henry Mancini.  You can always come here for you daily dose of trivia.    Covered a lot of ground on this episode… I wouldn’t necessarily say fertile ground but it was covered none the less.  Hope you have a great week and we’ll see you next time on the Modern Moron.   Thanks for listening.

Ep. 92 Dr. Fauci Derek Chauvin and memmo.me - what is a celebrity anymore?

Welcome to another month-old episode of the modern moron.  Not because you’re just getting around to it, but because I’m just getting around to it.  So by the time you get around to it, this episode with be months old rather than just one month old.  See there?  Leading of with some really valuable information.   Speaking of pointless, In this episode the Senator talks about his desire to go to the Grand Canyon, Hike from one side to the other, probably at night, and then come back home as soon as he’s finished.  I don’t get it… why go to such a beautiful place that’s considered one of the 7 natural wonders of the world, and then get through it as quickly as possible… half of it at night, and then leave?  Why not stay and enjoy its beauty?  Do you do it just so you can say you did it?  In the Senator’s case, I think so.  I think combined with his severe case of FOMO, fear of missing out, he is far more interested in telling other people he had an experience rather than experiencing the experience.  Getting that guy to just sit down and stop running in the rat race is like getting a monkey to stop eating a banana…. It’s not gonna happen. About halfway through… right after we talk briefly about getting vaccinated, we start to wrap it up and the Senator says he’s glad I’m doing well, but the guy never once asked me how I was doing.  All he did was launch into his 50 yard dash to the Grand Canyon and back.  Naturally, I call him on his poppycock.   What else, I do talk about my disappointment at the country opening back up.  I’d rather stay in quarantine for the rest of my life.  And we talk about where we are going to retire, without the Senator taking into account where his wife would like to retire.  You’d think that guy would learn for Christ’s sake.  I need to get his wife on this program… then we’ll find out where he’s really going to retire. So there you have it.  I’m thinking right now you must be either very lonely or very bored to be listening to us two idiots, but I sincerely thank you for doing so.   CLOSE - Who can’t use a little more tolerance?  Because we are always so far behind in our episodes we don’t address the most recent events of the day, week or even the month, but recently we heard President Biden address congress with probably the biggest program of… some will say investing in the future of this country, others will say just plain ol’ spending.  But I think the most heartfelt moment of his speech came from this clip...  All seriousness aside, here is a clip… and I cannot believe he said this as I can’t believe some lunkhead network analyst didn’t jump all over this.  He was talking about child care, I believe, for children under 6 years old, and I doubt any republican would deny that childcare is not an important issue to be addressed, it’s the “how it gets done” part that divides everyone.  But the president, after passing an almost $2 Trillion dollar stimulus package, said these four magic words… Excuse me?  What was that?  I truly believe he went off script for those four words and I don’t think they were wisely chosen.  I don’t think the president has a real idea of what we can and cannot afford because all I hear him say is that we cannot afford not to… is that a double negative?  And when he did finally address the “how” of paying for all of this?  He talked about where it would not come from, the middle class, of which I am a member.  I’m not a one percenter like the Senator.  But the Senator and I need to have a talk about what a “fair share” is, because I heard Biden say that phrase quite a bit, fair share. I’m wondering at what income levels do we go from poverty, to lower class, and to middle class,  upper middle class, and finally the elusive upper-class.  I wonder if I  can get the Senator to agree on some level that as we move up that latter, the rungs get farther and farther apart.  And by that I mean, how many incremental dollars does it take to get to the next level?  And by next level, I mean to the next “standard of living”.  So does an extra $10,000 mean the same to someone making $40,000 as $10M means to someone making $40M?  Does someone taking home $30 million have to change their standard of living compared to someone taking home $30 million.  And, does someone taking home $30,000 have to change their standard of living compared to someone taking home $40,000?  Percentage-wise, yes they are the same but I wonder if the Senator would agree that $10,000 means more to a poverty level person than $10M makes to someone making 10’s of millions of dollars? I also heard a financial “expert” say that (paraphrasing) the top 1 or 5% income earners in this country, under Biden’s proposal, will take home approximately 40% of the additional income they make above what they normally make.  40%... when I hear that I have to say it almost doesn’t seem worth it to make the additional when someone else is taking more than half.  Is that a fair share?   Maybe...maybe, Biden’s proposal is just a starting place for negotiations… like the sticker price on a car.  Because he’s asking for expenditures similar to what FDR was asking for when he took office in 1933… at least I have heard that comparison; that we are in a similar position as a nation and globally.  So let the negotiating begin hopefully.

Ep. 90 - Grand Canyon Speed Hikes; Glad To Know You’re Doing Well

Hello!  Yes, this is an episode of The Modern Moron… and like an aging Snow Leopard, increasingly rare to find.  Does that increase the value of a Modern Moron episode… I’m gonna say no, we’re not like a snow leopard or a bitcoin. In this rambling episode, the senator is not in a good place… the news has him down.  But when does the news, by and large, ever have you up?  It always leads with the latest tragedy and ends with something on the lighter side so you don’t jump out a window after the broadcast.  But I think generally what has the Senator down is hypocrisy.  It’s latest example is Grandpa Joe’s infrastructure plan of over 2 Trillion Dollars.   So the Senator thinks it’s all hypocrisy, and he’s right to a degree.  However, what’s infrastructure to the ding dong Dems may not be to the rude righteous Republicans.  For example, and this is for the Senator in particular because I just looked this up… a good portion of Trumps infrastructure package included the category of National Security, which for Trump is the great homage to his ego, the border wall of Mexico.  Also, power and energy independence to one party is VASTLY different to the other party.  Trump still wanted to mine coal.  Need I say more?  No I don’t. Also, I think it’s worth mentioning this… Spending government money on infrastructure, however you define it, doesn’t just by roads, bridges, public transportation, renewable energy and so on… this huge amount of money doesn’t just buy those things, it also buys votes.  It takes a lot of people to build infrastructure and every single one of those people have a vote in 2024… unless you live in Georgia then you may or may not get recognized to vote… or so I’m told. So a good portion of this episode addresses the Stimulus package, but some other politicians get honorable mention as well.  The Senator mentions Governor Mario Cuomo, sometimes referring to him as ‘Fredo from the Godfather.  Cuomo has been under investigation for sexual misconduct.  I wonder how much sexual misconduct investigations there would be if government was run by women?  Something else would HAVE to take its place.  I wonder what it would be?  I digress… There is also a trio of Republican idiots who desperately want to take up the Trump flag and are trying their best to show that bad, outrageous indignant behavior can win votes.  The three stooges I refer to are Florida Governor Ron Desantis, the idiot from Texas, Senator Ted Cruz and finally Florida Representative Matt Gaetz..   The Senator is bothered by this idiot Matt Gaetz in particular, and he should be, but thankfully… with the absence of our former idiot in Chief I have found it MUCH EASIER to ignore politics with the new idiot.  So I have to start from square one with this used car salesman-ey looking Gaetz.  He looks like he could be one of Trump’s sons.  Am I judging a book by it’s cover?  You bet… isn’t that what book covers are made for?  To make them look interesting.  Well this guy definitely looks interesting … for an episode of to catch a predator.  This guy is actually representing the state of Florida in Washington DC.  He should be sitting right next to that spear-nosed idiot Ted Cruz.  Both of  those guys should seriously have their own versions of The Jerry Springer Show… by the way Jerry Springer was the 56th Mayor of Cincinati, Ohio… so you see? Politics is the perfect training ground to host Tabloid lowest common denominator talk shows.  The senator is just down on all the politicians in the news now and I bring up Stacy Abrams who was the Democratic nominee in the 2018 Georgia gubernatorial election, becoming the first African-American female major-party gubernatorial nominee in the United States.  She did not win, but I’m pretty sure we’ll be seeing more of Stacey Abrams in the next elections.  I really like Stacey Abrams right now and I make a sexist comment… shocking… regarding the electability of Stacey versus our current vice president because of looks.  I truly do hat e to say it but I think it’ s a factor.  For the record, I would take one Stacey Abrams over ten Kamala Harris’. We join the Senator who requested this recording session, and is not using the microphone I bought for him, nor is he using headphones… which are pretty essential for any podcast to have a decent sound.  What’s the name of this show again?... We’re Concerned Over Cuomo, Bummed Over Biden and Harangued about Hypocrisy on The Modern Moron.  Thanks for listening…  CLOSE - the only thing better than a couple of morons talking politics is two morons talking about a religion of which they know nothing.  Ganesh doesn't ride an elephant as the senator said.  Ganesh, is the elephant-headed Hindu god who rides a mouse, is one of the faith's most important deities and is one of the primary Hindu deities. He is the lord of success and the destroyer of evils and obstacles, worshiped as the god of education, wisdom, and wealth.  Isn’t that nice? I’d like to end on a lighter note, just like those depressing newscasts and this is right in our demographic: Who will be the next host of Jeopardy? This is turning into what I imagine is a great ratings grabber in and of itself.  The producers claim there will be a permanent host for Jeopardy next season, which starts taping at the end of July.  So far candidates have been auditioning for a couple of weeks at a time and the last host I saw was Green Bay Packers Quarterback Aaron Rogers.  He is all in on this and had prepared for it like he prepares for games by watching hours and hours of tape of Alex Trebek including watching episodes with the sound off and hosting in place of Trebek.  Other hosts so far have included Katie Couric, Doctor Oz, former Jeopardy champion Ken Jennings.  Slated to host-slash-audition in the coming weeks are: Savannah Guthrie from NBC’s Today Show, Mayim Bialik from The Big Bang Theory, 60 Minutes correspondents Bill Whitaker and Dr. Sanjay Gupta but not together… also, Anderson Cooper and even Fox Sports announcer Joe Buck, no thank you.  One tweet regarding Joe Buck as host summed it up best: “Can we not make Joe Buck the next permanent host of Jeopardy, he can barely make football interesting, let alone a gameshow.” There is even a grass roots petition being drummed up for Levar Burton.  I’d take Levar Burton over Joe Buck any day.   So there’s something trivial for you to occupy your mind for a half a minute, although if you’ve just listened to this podcast, you’ve probably reached your mindlessness quotient for the entire week.  Either way, have a great week, thank you for listening and we’ll see you next time… Ganesha, the Hindu God of Success   

Ep. 91 Concerned Over Cuomo, Bummed Over Biden Harangued Over Hypocrisy

My guest is my friend and stand up comedian Christine Lederman who has been on the program a couple of times. Christine talks about her recent experience doing live standup again… in Texas.  Keep in mind she had this gig in Houston in February...  just before the horrible freezing temperatures hit Texas.  We talk about getting out of Houston just in time before the freeze hit  and what it was like to perform in front of an audience again.  She also talks about gauging an audience’s potential response to different material based on where she’s performing in the country and that audiences in Texas are great and possibly more liberal in terms of being receptive to politically incorrect humor… We talk about a few of the cities where Christine has done standup in Texas and even though Texas is by and very large a Red state, there are a number of fairly liberal minded cities as well, primarily Austin, which is a college town and home to the South-by-Southwest festival which has grown enormously since it began way back in 1987 as well as San Antonio and Dallas.   Also, if you’re a proud Texan or are going to be in Texas in Two weeks… two weeks being April 26th and 27th, you can catch Christine at the Addison Improv in Dallas Texas… Addison is about 15 miles north of Dallas and it’s the Improv so you know it’s classy. I catch up with her just as the big blizzard is about to hit the Denver area where she lives.  It’s Queen Christine and the Colorado Blizzard on The Modern Moron and thanks for listening… CLOSE - No such thing as a common cold anymore America. You know earlier I said there weren’t any comedy clubs in Amarillo Texas, well you will be shocked to find out that I was wrong.  There are at least two!  There’s the Funny Bone Comedy Club and Bristol’s Comedy club in Amarillo and boy are they going to be packed after a plug from the Modern Moron.  My thanks to Christine Lederman for spending a little time with the moron and don’t forget she will be at the Addison Improv in Dallas Texas on March 26th and 27th.  That’s it for now, hope you get your vaccine shot soon, if you want one that is, Take care and thank you for listening... 

Ep. 89 Queen Christine Flying From the Texas Blizzard To The Colorado Blizzard

Welcome to another episode…  Man have I put off publishing this episode and I’m not sure why… maybe it’s that there’s nothing particularly topical but since when has this program ever been topical?   Do you ever go to YouTube with the intention of looking something up and get side-tracked by another video that looked interesting.  Meeeee too!  That doesn’t happen by accident.  YouTube knows you, knows what you’re interested in and suggests videos that keep you there longer… as long as possible just like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and all the other social media sites. In this episode the Senator and I talk about some of those rabbit holes.  From inspiring interviews from holocaust survivors to Supreme Court Justice Earl Warren.   We also get into some streaming shows that we are both wayyyyyy behind the curve on as we are with most things, like Wandavision!  Naturally in talking about the show Wandavision the senator makes it about himself and how great he looks in a turtleneck.  Wanna find out how Wandavision leads to the Senator wearing turtlenecks?  Keep listening.   Then we get onto a show that has been on Netflix for almost ten years called Black Mirror.  Can something be a spoiler alert if it’s 10 years old?  If you plan on watching Black Mirror, season 5, Episode 1 titled “Striking Vipers”, then don’t listen… otherwise you’ve had ample time for what I’m about to tell you.  What struck me about this episode is that it kinda made me feel uncomfortable in it’s sexuality.  Two men have a sexual relationship, but neither of them are gay.  The have their sexual relationship virtually inside a video game.  One of them really wants to continue the relationship and the other, who is married… to a woman, is losing his mind over the whole thing, and I sort of did too.  I highly recommend this show and if you only watch one episode, please watch the second episode from season 5 called “Smithereens”.  The main character is played by Andrew Scott who is an Irish character actor that makes this episode worth watching along with the rest of the cast.  So please watch that episode… there will be a quiz on Thursday. We wind up somehow segueing to Keith Moon and that the Senator would liked to have partied with him.  Also an interesting story from Helen Miren about the late drummer.  Hope that covers enough ground for ya.   CLOSE - The drug Keith Moon overdosed on was called Clomethiazole which is a sedative used in treating and preventing symptoms of acute alcohol withdrawal.  So what are your guilty pleasures when it comes to YouTube?  Is it TedX talks or is it videos of kittens and people falling and hurting themselves?  Here’s something topical for you if you don’t already know, YouTube is coming out with their version of Tik Tok which all the kids use and it’s called YouTube Shorts.  You can create 60-second clips in vertical format, as most people view the screen on their smartphones.   YouTube Shorts also allows users to: Edit videos with creative tools Splice clips together Add music from YouTube’s library Change video speed Add timers and countdowns All in an effort to compete with Tik Tok to take ownership of more of your time and attention. That’s it for now, please like, subscribe comment or just spend more time staring at the logo for this podcast so I can claim more of your attention… Have a great day, week or weekend and we’ll see you next time...

Ep. 88 - YouTube Rabbit Holes_Holocaust Survivors_Earl Warren_Turtle Necks_Am I homophobic

Comedian Steve Martin said it best in his tune 'Grandma's song' ... "Criticize things you don't know about." I'm over 55. The older I get the faster the world seems to change. And I can only "opt out" so much. I do want to communicate with a handful of friends which hopefully includes you. We're gonna have to figure out how to drift along in this world that's getting ever more modern every week. Which leaves me feeling like an even bigger moron. Join in and maybe we can help each other on the way home.

hubhopper

TheModernMoron podcast

hubhopper