Those darn TOTC boys are back at it again to ruin more of your beloved childhood memories! This week, the lads have some thoughts on national service, find a wizard, and give a much better comedy duo a podcasting idea... It's TOTC, baybeeeeee! Currently Brainstorming: Jay's Newest Addiction, Raspberry Boy, The Boozone, The Offering, National Service, Sandwhich Interuptions, Square Boy, Sleepy Queen Liz, Fart Joke, White Boy Jay, Circular Storytelling, Phineas and Ferb: The Podcast. Music: Intro: Baffy, Money Man Break: Baffy, The Numberless Circling Cows of the Crop (Cow Pie) Outro: Baffy, Purple Wine Twitter: @totccast Email: totccast@gmail.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/totccast Discord: discordapp.com/invite/fkZGJuy Website: www.totccast.com

Think of the Children

Episode 58 - Dopamine and Amnesiacs

The boys have escaped the Astral Dimension and only Dave is really worse for wear. Owen and Jay are still alive and this week they talk about the American Diet, Nerds on Twitter, Robots having the sex and how to raise the next generation of Philosophers. It's the Think of the Children you know and love, here like a beacon in these dark times Currently Brainstorming: Time Refraction, The Tum Compartment, Editing Magic, Eldritch Varmints, Astro Nut, Eating Machinery, Child Debt, Calling out Twitter Nerds, Blind Souls, Ornstien and Smoog, Robot Clit, & Medabots (2020 Reboot) Music: Intro: Baffy, Money Man Break: Baffy, The Numberless Circling Cows of the Crop (Cow Pie) Outro: Baffy, Purple Wine Twitter: @totccast Email: totccast@gmail.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/totccast Discord: discordapp.com/invite/fkZGJuy Website: www.totccast.com

Episode 57 - White Phosphorus Soup

Owen and Jay are back after a tumultuous 2020. They explain where they've been, what's coming next, apologise profuesly for their absence and ask if you'd like Cocaine or Pepsi. Short Answer: Patrons, check your emails over the next week, everyone else, new epsisode next week.

Emergency Broadcast: The State of the Company

Oops! It's been 3 Months! Global Pandemics are bad for productivity, it turns out! Either way, the boys are back on the open road to do the nasty thing you love so much. This time around, we turn some bath toys into murderers, teach the children that everything they do is useless and develop some fun flash games to teach the kids about the existential threat of being alive! Join us, won't you, for another Think of the Children! Currently Brainstorming: Lizard Cum, Haunted Frog Man, Rubbasnubbers, Parental Trickery, Draconic Discouragement, Childhood Trauma, Leaning into the Curve, The Blockening Part XI: PhilosophyTube, Polka Dot Cow Man, Pigs Morgan, & Maggie and the Hate Construct. Music: Intro: Baffy, Money Man Break: Baffy, The Numberless Circling Cows of the Crop (Cow Pie) Outro: Baffy, Purple Wine Twitter: @totccast Email: totccast@gmail.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/totccast Discord: discordapp.com/invite/fkZGJuy Website: www.totccast.com

Episode 56 - www.coolphilosophygames.com

This week, the boys are joined by reptile lover and the host of Talking With Dinosaurs, Stefan Ayto! They kind of owe him one, you'll see why. They also recreate the epic of Gilgamesh, insult two of New Zealand's national heroes, and get Henry Cavill fans riled up as they put him in schoolgirl uniforms. We're here in the time of crisis, it's Think of the Children! Currently Brainstorming: Roadside Assistance, Reptile Matrimony, Deicide, Devilman: Badjelly, Cobra Venom, The Warlocker, The Three Cavills, TOTC Hygiene Advice, History Lessons, Character Assasination & What Now?! (Horny Version) More Stefan: @Ershatz Music: Intro: Baffy, Money Man Break: Baffy, The Numberless Circling Cows of the Crop (Cow Pie) Outro: Baffy, Purple Wine Twitter: @totccast Email: totccast@gmail.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/totccast Discord: discordapp.com/invite/fkZGJuy Website: www.totccast.com

Episode 55 - The Witcher 3 (Feat. Stefan Ayto)

Kids, I won't lie, this one goes off the rails a little bit towards the end. It's good shit, but we've both gone a little stir crazy, apparently. This week, the lads praise the efficiancy of Herod, publically dunk on Piers Morgan, and create some terrible puppet creations... Again. Strap in, friends, it's gonna get bumpy. Currently Brainstorming: Vancuffs, The Art of Vore, Rickle: The Pickling, Vinnie Jones Green Cross Code, My Mans Herod, Piers Morgan's Sundown, Owen's Dyslexia Strikes Back, The Singularity, Hunger Games: Gamers Edition, Nightmare Muppets, The Opposite of an Erection, Eureeka's Castle (2020 Reboot Dir. R. L. Gaster) Music: Intro: Baffy, Money Man Break: Baffy, The Numberless Circling Cows of the Crop (Cow Pie) Outro: Baffy, Purple Wine Twitter: @totccast Email: totccast@gmail.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/totccast Discord: discordapp.com/invite/fkZGJuy Website: www.totccast.com

Episode 54 - A Motherfucking JoJo's Reference

The wheels are still a-rollin' here at the TOTC Mobile Headquarters. Owen and Jay have both taken different approaches to raising money, neither of which have been particularly profitable, so we're back to ruining childhoods. We gift a beloved character the powers of an Elder God, make the Digimon relentlessly horny, and utilize The Demon Drill for fun and profit. Buckle up, kids! It's a wild one. Currently Brainstorming: Growing Pains, New Career Paths, Watch Crimes, DP-Gimon, Cock Armour Class, The Demon Drill, Crime Disclaimers, Tit Wrestling, Waluigi Board, & WALUIGI (Elder God) Music: Intro: Baffy, Money Man Break: Baffy, The Numberless Circling Cows of the Crop (Cow Pie) Outro: Baffy, Purple Wine Twitter: @totccast Email: totccast@gmail.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/totccast Discord: discordapp.com/invite/fkZGJuy Website: www.totccast.com

Episode 53 - John WAHck

We're back! But not quite as you know it. Some things have changed for Owen and Jay but they need to keep the wheels greased and beef jerky in their tummies, so they're gonna keep ruining childhoods for fun and profit. It's all here on Think of the Children! Currently Brainstorming: Scottish Avoidance, Vim2.0, Wimbleton, Forbidden Bowls, Neil vs Neale, Fuck Names, Do Cockroaches Fuck?, Dart Refractory Period, Ozymandias Jerky, Nerf: Ambush. Music: Intro: Baffy, Money Man Break: Baffy, The Numberless Circling Cows of the Crop (Cow Pie) Outro: Baffy, Purple Wine Twitter: @totccast Email: totccast@gmail.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/totccast Discord: discordapp.com/invite/fkZGJuy Website: www.totccast.com

Episode 52: On the Road Again

Happy New Year, friends! After comitting a terrible podcast crime, Jay is on the run and Owen drank himself into a coma. So, as a cruel and unusual punishment, we have used the power of Jumanji to trap Ismay Hutton, Alfred Clark and Emily Kuklinski in our podcast! They will only be released when the 7 Jumanjis have been collected or they've ruined a childhood, whichever comes first. Join us for a spell in this first ever Hostile Takeover! Currently Brainstorming: Jumanji'd, Rotten CDRomatos, BYOG, Elizabethan LARP Winter Camp, Virginian Feminism, Incomprehensible Animal Names, Bellatrix Beev, Bastard Money, Candyland Glass Time, Dead Clock Clown, Major Bedhead, NoAssitol and The Big Comfy Couch (2020 Reboot) Crit Chat Crew: Ismay (@aTeacupGamer): twitch.tv/ateacupgamer Alfred (@pennyblue_): twitch.tv/pennyblue Emily (@ThePunnyEmily) Crit Chat (@Crit_Chat): https://crit-chat.pinecast.co/ Music: Intro: Baffy, Money Man Break: Baffy, The Numberless Circling Cows of the Crop (Cow Pie) Outro: Baffy, Purple Wine Twitter: @totccast Email: totccast@gmail.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/totccast Discord: discordapp.com/invite/fkZGJuy Website: www.totccast.com

Episode 51 - Hostile Takeover (Feat. Crit Chat)

Well friends, we've arrived at the big 5-0. It's a feature length presentation of our fetid, dirty crimes against your nostalgia, and we did it just for you... Enjoy the 50th  Episode of Think of the Children, and the last episode for the year. We love you, thank you for the support 

Episode 50 - Crossing the Streams: The BioDick

It's Spooky Episode 2.0, baybee! We got more scares, more ghouls and more physical manifestations of your deepest darkest fears. Roll up, roll up, come see the spectral troupe, the wholesome sex-worker ghost, and the scariest thing of all... corporate takeovers. Listen to the new episode... if you dare... Currently Brainstorming: Owen's Very Cursed Day, Schrodinger's Podcast, Doki Doki Corpse Bride Club, Hostile Takeovers, The Blockening Part 10: Laika Studios, Cultural Differences, Hardcore Trunk or Treat, Shrewsbury Callout, Jay Says Trans Rights, The Blockening Part 11: Ben Shapiro, & Honey: *you feel uncomfortable* (2019 Experiment). Music: Intro: Baffy, Money Man Break: Baffy, The Numberless Circling Cows of the Crop (Cow Pie) Outro: Baffy, Purple Wine Twitter: @totccast Email: totccast@gmail.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/totccast Discord: discordapp.com/invite/fkZGJuy Website: www.totccast.com

Episode 49 - Gaiman's Filthy Pawprints

This time around, the lads put a young science boy through some harrowing shit, make a new superhero team in space, make sex fun (finally) and partake of the finest cuts of dong this side of the Thames. Yet more goofs and good products from the boys you love! Currently Brainstorming: Knee Girls, Spicy Bath, Jim Pachmans, Flat, Long, Cock Rings, The Cock Fridge, Filet-min-Dong, Royal Squalor, Owen Goes Ghost, Snok X, Just a dash of Ashton, Consentecles, & Sad Sentinels: Sonic and the Rest (2019) Music: Intro: Baffy, Money Man Break: Baffy, The Numberless Circling Cows of the Crop (Cow Pie) Outro: Baffy, Purple Wine Twitter: @totccast Email: totccast@gmail.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/totccast Discord: discordapp.com/invite/fkZGJuy Website: www.totccast.com

Episode 48 - Epic Dead Sister Prank

This week, the lads do the stuff you love, like make a Finger Puppet Monstrosity, help a soft drink create the corporate monopoly it needs to lauch us into an Eleven Herbs and Spices Cyberpunk Future, and make a Furby you can fuck. Oh and there's more Jojo jokes. It's all here and it's all completely fucking putrid. Currently Brainstorming: Dental Jokes, Love Island: The Video Game, 11 Herbs and Spices, Vimto Piss, Lomg Sex Furby, Owen's Bounty, Rob Paulson is Yoko Taro, Planet Brexit, The Dio Room, Kid Wranglin: With Micheal Cera, Mouse Puppet Clitoris, Megalovania Shitposting, & Yoffie Presents FMA:B Tummy Theatre Music: Intro: Baffy, Money Man Break: Baffy, The Numberless Circling Cows of the Crop (Cow Pie) Outro: Baffy, Purple Wine Twitter: @totccast Email: totccast@gmail.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/totccast Discord: discordapp.com/invite/fkZGJuy Website: www.totccast.com

Episode 47 - Belle Delfurby

The boys are on a fucking roll this week, as our capitalist asses do the nasty thing to expoit your memories for profit. This week, we teach the boomers how to bend, ressurect Demons from the Ninth Pit, give a child an egG, and given Helen Mirren the Minerals she so desperately needs. It's think of the children! Currently Brainstorming: Robo-Hosts, Microwave Crimes, KFC-Bending, Meat Destiny, Apple 'Nades, "Teleport, Teleport, Attack", Booster Pack Gambling, The Bone Suite, Loose Egg in a bag, Bear Revelations, & T-Bag: Feat. Helen Mirren's Balls Music: Intro: Baffy, Money Man Break: Baffy, The Numberless Circling Cows of the Crop (Cow Pie) Outro: Baffy, Purple Wine Twitter: @totccast Email: totccast@gmail.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/totccast Discord: discordapp.com/invite/fkZGJuy Website: www.totccast.com

Episode 46 - Unseasoned Plastic

The boys are big dummies that just sort of... forgot to record an episode this week? So in it's stead, Owen has thrown together some of the best bits from the last year and a half of doing this dumb show, and splaying them up, back to back, for your enjoyment. It might be old, and barely qualifies as gold, it's Think of the Children!   Music:  Intro: Baffy, Money Man Outro: Baffy, Purple Wine Twitter: @totccast Email: totccast@gmail.com Patreon: www.patreon.com/totccast Discord: discordapp.com/invite/fkZGJuy Website: www.totccast.com  

Episode 45 - Another TOTC Clip Show

Join us in our office once a week as lifelong friends turned business partners Owen Piper and Jay Little systematically destroy your childhood, one beloved memory at a time...

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Think of the Children

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