“It was like I was in a whole other universe for like five to ten minutes just walking around, like I couldn’t function, I didn’t know what to do.” Today’s episode featured Miles. You can reach out to Miles by emailing him at Miles1357@yahoo.com. Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: A man searches for healing after his father, a disgruntled post office worker, falls into a violent downward spiral.Website for Jason Blalock: jasonblalock.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Content/Trigger Warnings: suicide, mental illness, graphic violent imagery, workplace abuse, sexual harassment, explicit languageWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Uncommon Goods: uncommongoods.com/happening; Hunter Douglas: hunterdouglas.com/happening; ID Tech:idtech.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Cylinder Four/Five” – Chris Zabriskie ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This Is Actually Happening

208: What if you ran through the pain?

“Your whole sense of reality has been shaken so much that you question what is even real any more.” Today's episode featured Melissa. You can find more about her on Instagram @littleredmeli or on Medium, https://medium.com/@littleredmeli Producers: Whit Missildine, Matt VollaEpisode Summary: Growing up in the Mormon church, a woman follows a structured path to love and marriage, but what hides underneath threatens to unravel everything she’s built.Website for Matt Volla: www.mattvolla.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusContent/Trigger Warnings: sexual abuse, sexual assault, suicidal ideation, explicit languageEpisode Sponsors: Acorn TV: acorn.tv Promo Code HAPPENING; Lending TreeSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Union Flow” - Spuntic ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

207: What if you faced the ultimate betrayal?

A small town cop is gunned down in a swamp in the summer of 2015. He quickly became a martyr in the national media, until a dogged investigator uncovered the officer's bizarre and dark past. When the truth comes out, the townspeople must reconcile betrayal, corruption and the secrets of an American hero. From Wondery, the makers of The Shrink Next Door and Dr. Death comes the third season of Over My Dead Body: Fox Lake.Listen to Over My Dead Body Fox Lake - wondery.fm/FL_ActuallyHappeningSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Presents: Over My Dead Body - Fox Lake

“The best way I can explain how it feels to not be believed is just profound loneliness…To not know where to turn to seek advice or to get a hug, I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Matt VollaEpisode Summary: After her parents’ divorce a girl’s relationship with her mother tailspins until a shocking accusation throws everything into chaos.Website for Matt Volla: www.mattvolla.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusContent/Trigger Warnings: domestic abuse, parental abuse, mental illness, attempted murder, alcoholism, addiction, explicit languageEpisode Sponsors: Betterhelp: betterhelp.com/happening; The Zebra: thezebra.com/happening; GoodRX: goodrx.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Uncertain Outcomes/Embers” – SkyeVoyager https://linktr.ee/SkyeVoyager ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

206: What if no one believed you?

Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: Whit Missildine, host of This Is Actually Happening and The Long Shadow, and Dan Taberski, host of Missing Richard Simmons and Nine Twelve discuss 9/11 their approaches to their respective series honoring the tragedy.Today, as part of our series, The Long Shadow, honoring the 20th anniversary of September 11th, we bring you an interview between me and Dan Taberski. Dan is the host of the podcast Missing Richard Simmons Running from Cops. And most recently, the line. His new show is called Nine 12. And the series is about what happened after 9/11, how 9/11 the day became 9/11, the idea and how that idea has shaped the world, our culture and ourselves for the past 20 years. While my series focuses on the deep personal histories, experiences of the day itself and the long aftermath for people who have experienced the tragedy up close. Dan Series takes a sweeping look at the cultural, social, political and conspiratorial implications of 9/11 and what it means for us today. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plus Support the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The Long Shadow: Bonus - Interview with Whit Missildine and Dan Taberski

“The surrealism of the experience just it was hard to fathom…here we were in a clothing store being asked to do these sort of impossible thing.” Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: In the aftermath of September 11th, 2001 a cardiologist volunteers to help process the body parts from those who lost their lives in a temporary morgue inside a Brooks Brothers department store.Today’s episode featured Sandeep Jauhar. Sandeep has written three books. His first book, "Intern: A Doctor's Initiation," "Doctored: The Disillusionment of an American Physician," and his latest book, "Heart: A History," tells the colorful and little-known story of the doctors who risked their careers and the patients who risked their lives to know and heal our most vital organ. A practicing cardiologist, Jauhar is currently a contributing opinion writer for The New York Times. He has appeared frequently on National Public Radio, CNN, and MSNBC to discuss issues related to medicine, and his essays have also been published in The Wall Street Journal, Time, and Slate. To learn more about him and his work, visit his website at http://sandeepjauhar.com or follow him on Twitter: @sjauhar.Twenty Years after the attacks of September 11th changed the world as we knew it, this month the This Is Actually Happening podcast dives deep into the stories of four survivors whose jobs brought them face to face with the unthinkable. For those called to manage an impossible tragedy up close, the events of September 11th represented a uniquely horrifying challenge. Among the harrowing details of that day, in the special series, we explore the long shadows of trauma and resilience that continue to inform the looming uncertainties that remain with us today. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusContent/Trigger Warnings: terrorism, graphic bodily injury, graphic medical scenarios, explicit languageEpisode Sponsors: DoorDash; Simplisafe: simplisafe.com/actuallySupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic and Sound Design by: Marcelino Villalpando  ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

205: The Long Shadow: What if you processed the remains?

“You try not to think about the fact that you really think you’re going to die here…that it’s totally out of control.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary: On September 11th, 2001, the first female firefighter in the New York City Fire Department confronts the impossible tasks of that day and the skewed narratives that followed.Today's episode featured Captain (ret.) Brenda Berkman. Since her retirement from the New York City Fire Department in 2006, Brenda serves as a volunteer guide at the 9/11 Memorial, is Vice-President for Programs for the women’s history organization Monumental Women (monumentalwomen.org) and pursues her passion for printmaking, specializing in stone lithography. You can see her artwork at www.brendaberkmanartworks.com.Twenty Years after the attacks of September 11th changed the world as we knew it, this month the This Is Actually Happening podcast dives deep into the stories of four survivors whose jobs brought them face to face with the unthinkable. For those called to manage an impossible tragedy up close, the events of September 11th represented a uniquely horrifying challenge. Among the harrowing details of that day, in the special series, we explore the long shadows of trauma and resilience that continue to inform the looming uncertainties that remain with us today. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: http://andrdewwaits.com/ Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Better Help: betterhelp.com/happening; Lending TreeSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: terrorism, death, graphic violence, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic and Sound Design by: Marcelino Villalpando ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

204: The Long Shadow: What if you fought the fire?

“It’s not like there was time to ponder your fate…you just thought, we’re powerless to get out of the building….This is it.” Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A Port Authority employee narrowly escapes from the 68th floor after a plane hits the World Trade Center on September 11th, 2001, but the most devastating impact comes from the psychological wounds that haunt her life for decades after. Today's episode featured Kayla Bergeron. In addition to serving as chief of public and government affairs for The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey, Kayla has also served in senior roles for the New York State Housing Finance Agency and South Florida Water Management District, the lead agency restoring America's Everglades. Kayla currently resides in Suwanne, Georgia and serves as Program Director, and as a Certified Peer Support Specialist -Addictive Disease (C.P.S.- A.D.), for The Connection Forsyth, a 501c3 non profit recovery community organization, based in Cumming, Georgia. Kayla works as a social media consultant for Special Equestrians of Georgia, in Milton, Georgia, also a 501c3 non profit, where she participates in equine-assisted therapy.Kayla recently started a gofundme for Special Equestrians of Georgia, where she receives equine-assisted therapy for PTSD. Last year, Special Equestrians of Georgia (SEG), based in Milton, GA, had to close down its hippotherapy program due to COVID-19 and safety concerns. As a result, many of the horses had to be rehomed. Currently, SEG provides equine-assisted therapy for teens and adults with mental health challenges, including depression, PTSD, anxiety and trauma. With COVID-19 Delta variant hovering, Special Equestrians of Georgia may be forced to shut down its doors -- for good. It costs approximately $3,000 to fund the program, which includes feeding and special dietary needs, farrier, veterinarian, medicine and facility maintenance. Please help by donating to Special Equestrians of Georgia.This episode is part of a special, four-part series called The Long Shadow. Twenty Years after the attacks of September 11th changed the world as we knew it, this month the This Is Actually Happening podcast dives deep into the stories of four survivors whose jobs brought them face to face with the unthinkable. For those called to manage an impossible tragedy up close, the events of September 11th represented a uniquely horrifying challenge. Among the harrowing details of that day, we explore the long shadows of trauma and resilience that continue to inform the looming uncertainties that remain with us today. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: DoorDashSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: violence, sexual assault, injury, terrorism, mention of suicide, alcoholism, addiction, mental illness explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic and Sound Design by: Marcelino Villalpando ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

203: The Long Shadow: What if you were on the 68th floor?

“The world looks like it’s coming to an end, and another cloud comes over…Everything goes dark, and the world is covered in dust.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew WaitsEpisode Summary: On September 11th, 2001 an ER Doctor finds himself in charge of the closest emergency room to the Twin Towers.Today's episode featured Tony Dajer. Tony was born in New York City, grew up in Puerto Rico, and has been practicing as an ER Doctor in New York for 30 years. You can read one of Tony's articles called "Vital Signs" featured in Discover Magazine at www.discovermagazine.com/health/vital-signs-37.This episode is part of a special, four-part series called The Long Shadow. Twenty Years after the attacks of September 11th changed the world as we knew it, this month the This Is Actually Happening podcast dives deep into the stories of four survivors whose jobs brought them face to face with the unthinkable. For those called to manage an impossible tragedy up close, the events of September 11th represented a uniquely horrifying challenge. Among the harrowing details of that day, we explore the long shadows of trauma and resilience that continue to inform the looming uncertainties that remain with us today. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.com Website for Andrew Waits: http://andrdewwaits.com/Special Thanks: To all who helped make this series happen - Ellen Westberg, Andrew Waits, Marcelino Villalpando, Gabriella Quintana, Emily Caldwell, and Jason Blalock.  Wondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: GoodRX: goodrx.com/happening; Lending TreeSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: violence, graphic bodily injury, terrorism, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic and Sound Design by: Marcelino Villalpando ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

202: The Long Shadow: What if you ran the ER five blocks away?

A big Halloween party at an apartment complex in Redmond, Washington. Themed rooms and costumed partygoers. But by the end of the party, one of the hosts is dead. The police look to the partiers as the prime suspects: was it the guy in the devil mask, the bank robber, the construction worker? As investigators comb through forensic evidence, witness testimony, DNA, and even consult with a psychic, they zero in on one suspect in particular. But for what reason? Host and reporter Matthew Shaer (Over My Dead Body) returns to the scene of the crime, speaks with everyone about a night that still haunts them years later. It’s a series about race and policing, mislaid justice, cutting-edge science, and the kinds of weighty choices that cops and prosecutors make every day -- choices that, once made, are difficult to reverse.Listen to SUSPECT: wondery.fm/Suspect_ActuallyHappSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Presents: Suspect

“There’s really no way to explain how it feels when you realize one decision you made in an instant altered the life of everyone around you.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Andrew Waits Episode Summary: A woman who finally finds her sense of purpose after a tumultuous upbringing realizes a mother’s ultimate horror.Website for Andrew Waits: http://andrdewwaits.com/ Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Simplisafe: simplisafe.com/actuallySupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: domestic violence, drug use, alcoholism, suicidal ideation, suicide attempt, self harm, infant death, graphic injury, sexual assault, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Re-Entry” – Lee Rosevere ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

201: What if you believed it was all your fault?

“All the reality that I had been putting off, and all of the denial, it all crashed in on me.” Producers: Whit Missildine, Jason BlalockEpisode Summary: Growing up in the closet with a mentally ill mother, a man finds his true love, but as their past continues to weigh in, the only remedy he knows threatens to consume everything he’s built.Today's episode featured Gabriel. Gabriel is now a psychiatric social worker and licensed therapist in Orange County, California. You can find out more about Gabriel on Instagram @gabriel.emmm. Website for Jason Blalock: www.jasonblalock.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Best Fiends, Lending Tree, BetterHelp: betterhelp.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: drug abuse, drug addiction, opioids, overdose, death, suicide, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: Ambient Themes by Nigel Coutinho ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

200: What if you were consumed by your only cure?

“I was too ashamed to reach out and say, ‘Look, I don’t understand what’s happening, I think I’m going crazy…please help me.’” Producers: Whit Missildine, Matt VollaEpisode Summary: Following early experiences of isolation and bullying, a man assigned female at birth finds a beautiful friendship, that soon descends into a bewildering cycle of gaslighting and obsession.    Today's episode featured Vel Ryder. You can find out more about Vel on Twitter and Instagram @whiskeyandspite. Website for Matt Volla: www.mattvolla.com Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: Upstart: upstart.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: suicidal thinking, mental illness, gaslighting, psychological abuse, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Uncertain Outcomes/Embers” – SkyeVoyager https://linktr.ee/SkyeVoyager  ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

199: What if your deepest friendship was your darkest fate?

Paolo is a smart and handsome surgeon, renowned for his ability to perform surgeries that transform his patients’ lives. When television producer Benita covers him for a story, he’ll transform her life too, but not in the ways she expects. As Benita crosses professional lines to be with him, she learns how far Paolo will go to protect his secrets. And halfway around the world, four doctors at a prestigious medical institute make shocking discoveries of their own that call everything into question. From Wondery comes Season Three of the hit podcast, Dr. Death. MIRACLE MAN tells the story of a globe-trotting surgeon who seduces the medical world, and sweeps one woman off her feet. Hosted by Laura Beil.Listen to Dr. Death Season 3: wondery.fm/DDS3_TIAHSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Presents - Dr. Death: Miracle Man

“When I knew I was dying, I knew that I wasn’t going to have the anxiety or the OCD brain, it was just going to be over.” Producers: Whit MissildineEpisode Summary: A woman with severe harm OCD encounters the many faces of death and dying but finds renewal in caring for others and ultimately herselfToday's episode featured Rachel. You can find out more about her on Facebook at fb.com/RachelHillestad. Social Media: Instagram: @actuallyhappeningWebsite: www.thisisactuallyhappening.comWondery Plus: All episodes of the show prior to episode #130 are now part of the Wondery Plus premium service. To access the full catalog of episodes, and get all episodes ad free, sign up for Wondery Plus at https://wondery.com/plusEpisode Sponsors: GoodRX: goodrx.com/happening; ThredUp: thredup.com/happeningSupport the Show: Support The Show on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/happening Engage with the Community: Join the This Is Actually Happening Discussion Group on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/201783687561039/ Shop at the Store: The This Is Actually Happening online store is now officially open. Follow this link: https://www.thisisactuallyhappening.com/shop to access branded t-shirts, posters, stickers and more from the shop.  Content/Trigger Warnings: homicidal thoughts, harm OCD, death, sexual assault, mention of suicide, suicidal thoughts, explicit language Intro Music: "Illabye" – TipperMusic Bed: “Cylinder Four/Five” – Chris Zabriskie ServicesIf you or someone you know is struggling with the effects of trauma or mental illness, please refer to the following resources. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 National Alliance on Mental Illness: 1-800-950-6264National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN): 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)Crisis Text Line: Within the US, text HOME to 741741See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

198: What if you rescued everyone to save yourself?

The uncanny, extraordinary, true stories of events that have dramatically altered the lives of ordinary people; a son is shot by his own father, a woman's sister develops multiple personalities, a man wakes up in the morgue. These are riveting, moving and often haunting stories that will stick with you long after you listen.  

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This Is Actually Happening

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