We're back! In the newest episode of Too Soon, Ralph and Taylor explain their absence, discuss the joys of Japanese mascots dancing, Taylor tries to justify his vegetarianism to Ralph's unsympathetic ear, attempt to figure out the holy bond between a man that eats feces and a woman that drinks tampon blood and MUCH MORE. Get in here for an all new "Too Soon with Ralph and Taylor" and catch the podcast the critics are calling "another podcast!"

Too Soon w/Ralph & Taylor - Spiderduck

Episode 13 - Mascot Dance Party!

​Hey guys, we are back again with another special talking about the heartbreaking rape case happening in Steubenville, OH right now. We live in the area, and work in Steubenville and we have a very clear opinion about what's going on. We also present the facts going on in the case and break down what has happened in the past week starting with Nodianos video all the way to the press conference, what the Sheriff is doing, and much much more.

Too Soon Special: It's a Good Day to Occupy Steubenville

Taylor makes his triumphant return to the podcast after a couple of weeks off and it could not happen sooner. We review the weirdest stories from 2012 as we welcome in 2013 with arms wide open, as that one terrible, terrible band from the early 2000's might say.

Episode 12 - Seriously, Florida...What's Up?!?

​Hey guys, we live in Steubenville, OH which has gotten a lot of attention internationally lately. We recap this whole thing from the beginning and give our opinions. We think that the Occupy Steubenville movement is doing this for the right reasons. Check us out, and know that there are still good people in this area.

Too Soon Special: Occupy Steubenville

Since Taylor plays in, like, three bands and works, he's been very busy. Too busy for Ralph, so Ralph went rogue and invited his friend Brad to cohost this week. Brad comes to us from a former webshow called "BS'n with Brad and Scottie" and his cohosting chops were not rusty! He got right in there with the harmony nonsense noises and a super long, "not-so-fast" five. Get ready for inappropriate sexual comments and stories about naked puzzle hour.

Episode 11 - The Bradpocalypse!

It's here! The TENTH episode of Too Soon w/ Ralph and Taylor! Can't believe we're in double digits and I can't believe the FBI isn't monitoring our conversations. Small wins all around.

Episode 10 - Zombies, Vampires and Ted Nugent

This week, Trevor from the Trevor and Ian Talk Show joins us to attempt to talk about such serious topics as religion, Morgan Freeman's voice, bestiality, crystal meth and the weirdest thing someone could do sexually that you might still be okay with. However, the podcast goes off the rails when we all find out that Emma Stone might have a sex tape out there somewhere. Then, Ian joins us for the final minutes, and we can't shut up about Emma Stone. Finally, Taylor...no, look, who cares? All that matters is that Emma Stone might have a sex tape. And once that comes out, we know that we will all be fresh out of boners. What are you waiting for?! Get in here!

Episode 9 - Emma Stone and Penis Cake

Think of this episode as our Pilot part 2! This is the one to listen to if you've never heard us before. Also, one of our most fun episodes. Get in here and listen to Taylor describe his love of truly repulsive cinema.

Episode 8 - I Dream of Dreama Walker

Finally! (Or is it finely?) We got around to recording the podcast this week. Today's special guest is our brother Ian Parissi, who has come to complete the brotherly triumvirate and offer his opinions on the weird stories we find. Today's we discuss possible pedophile Elmo, the legal age of consent across North America, creepy fan-fiction, D-bag of the week John Schnatter of Papa John's, the closure of Hostess and subsequent mass Facebook hysteria over the possibility of never eating another Twinkie, and the merits of seceding from the Union. All this, PLUS a long winded Twilight rant and the Perfect Strangers theme song! Get in here and enjoy!

Episode 7 - Michael J. Fox Carrying a Tray of Glasses

In this week's episode, Ralph and Taylor discuss the election results, ponder whether Halo 4's release date had anything to do with candidates losing votes, shame a McDonald's that is ten minutes away from their house, wonder which body part they would cut off to win back a lost love, discuss RULE 34, decide whether or not to get an anus tattoo, throw cats at stairs, and of course Taylor paints another beautiful, yet dystopian, future.

Episode 6 - Lunchtime at the Zoo

Welcome listeners, new and old! Episode 5 really goes off the rails for a bit. Nerd rants about Star Wars and The Avengers are coupled with stories of hot teachers, drunk duck rescues, Bond girl names, interesting ways to get out of a speeding ticket, and dolphins riding gorillas into the sunset. If you haven't yet, check out our past episodes on iTunes or Stitcher! And PLEASE rate us and review us on iTunes. It only takes a second, but it really helps us get promoted and reach a bigger audience through iTunes! Have I said iTunes enough, Apple? iTunes, iTunes, iTUNES!!! I'll take my free iPad mini now, please.

Episode 5 - Ducks Trump Gays

Here's the Quatro! Episode number four features special guest Ashleigh Thress (or Shleigh, to those that know her). Shleigh is a firm Conservative on most political issues, so we get into some political talk from both sides. But the conversation takes a left handed turn...right off a giant cliff. From there we get into all the "good things Hitler did," why it might be okay to only eat Chicken McNuggets and never cockroaches, an update on Bubba the Love Sponge, why deer should only cross in school zones, and give an award to the greatest preacher in the world! So, get in here and share your thoughts on the wonders of ethnic cleansing - it's the newest episode of Too Soon with Ralph and Taylor!​

Episode 4 - The Good Things Hitler Did

​Here it is - our third episode! This week, Taylor and Ralph discuss delicious jailhouse bologna sandwiches, have a moment with Honey Boo Boo that blows Taylor's mind, discuss tuna, bullying, something called "hog wallowing," Bubba the Love Sponge, and introduce our new segment: The Too Soon Fast Five!

Episode 3 - Bullied by Bubba the Love Sponge

In episode 2 of "Too Soon with Ralph and Taylor," the boys discuss ex-SNL cast member Victoria Jackson, apparent "lady killer" Danny DeVito, and Honey Boo Boo (which sends Taylor into a rage coma he still hasn't recovered from). Oh yeah, and manta rays...for some reason.​

Episode 2 - I Dream of Manta Rays

Welcome to the Too Soon with Ralph and Taylor podcast. This is a show about the world, the news and pop politics with opinions given by two people that have NO business talking about any of it. In episode 1 we discuss multiple uses for an umbilical cord, bear rape, the world's first "poop transplant," and why you should never want Mitt Romney to have the window seat on an airplane. So pop in and enjoy the toasty goodness of our new show!

Episode 1

Welcome to the Too Soon with Ralph and Taylor podcast. This is a show about the world, the news and pop politics with opinions given by two people that have NO business talking about any of it.

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Too Soon w/Ralph & Taylor - Spiderduck

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