Welcome to our first Basket Case, Hoes! We’re so excited for this new format, so we can explore other aspects of the Trader Joe’s experience. And to kick these off, we consulted the stars. We grabbed our crystals. We bathed in the light of the moon. And we assigned Trader Joe’s items to each sign in the astrological houses.  Check back in two weeks for the next installment where we’ll share some of your Trader Joe’s horror stories. And don&apos;t miss another full episode next week. Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/traderhoes)

Trader Hoes

Basket Case: Seeing Stars

While it may not be our most important meal of the day, breakfast is possibly our favorite, especially if it’s made up of these new items. We’re flipping over pancakes from around the world, going nutty for some surprisingly perfect oatmeal, and egg-stactic for an eggless scramble. Plus, stay tuned for the end of this episode for an exciting update about our new format. Not on the menu, but certainly on our minds: the origin of donut holes, being a hoe fo’ tofu, and discovering Julien, the best narrator ever.  ?In the cart: Tofu Scramble with Soy Chorizo Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Bites Maple Flavored Poffertjes Mini Pancake PuffsSweet Cinnamon Filled Korean PancakesSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/traderhoes)

The Breakfast Club

It&apos;s a special Guest Hoe episode featuring Katie&apos;s husband, Sal! These Bravo Hoes are deep diving into Trader Joe&apos;s frozen apps for some serious flavor fusions. From Buffalo-Greek poppers to gussied up pigs in a blanket, it&apos;s a high steaks, higher calorie battle of the best finger foods money can buy. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: airport cuisine, Greek football parties and some technical issues with Katie&apos;s mic. In the cart:Buffalo Style Chicken Poppers KibbehParmasean Pastry PupsSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/traderhoes)

There's an App for That

The Hoes hit the new item jackpot at Trader Joe’s with a trio of new, seasonal and festive offerings. It’s a sweet and savory smackdown of butternut Sasquatch proportions. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: horseradish fatalities, Spice People and Trader Jekyll. In the cart:Trader Joe&apos;s Butternut Squash Mac & Cheese BitesBamba with Hazelnut Creme FillingSpooky Bats & Cats Sour Gummy CandiesSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/traderhoes)

That New New

It is finally here, Hoes! We’re dipping more than a toe into pumpkin season  this week with three brand new items packed with Cucurbita. So grab your Uggs, Patagonia vests, whatever the heck pumpkin powder is, and get ready. Not on the menu, but certainly on their minds: How pumpkin butter can be a soup, why Big Sugar is once again waging war with fat, and when Katie will finally try a PSL. ? In the cart: Sweet & Savory Lightly Spiced Pumpkin SpreadPumpkin Four Cheese Greek Style Yogurt DipPumpkin Spice HummusSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/traderhoes)

Lines of Pumpkin Powder

We’re easing into pumpkin season this year, Hoes, and we want to make sure we’re looking gourd-geous for it. So, we’re slathering on some new and classic skincare items from Trader Joe’s. Not in the cart but certainly on their minds: Summer pumpkins, where the heck Cucurbita is and if this is the year that Katie finally tries a PSL. ? In the cart: Pumpkin Overnight Face Mask Pumpkin Body ButterBlueberry & Acai Facial ScrubWatermelon Overnight Face Mask Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/traderhoes)

Zit Down, Be Humble

The Hoes get bad and bubbly with some sparkling selections from Trader Joe’s. Open up a can of your favorite refreshment and get ready to answer the hard-hitting questions like is ACV the new Kombucha? More importantly, can we mix vodka with it? Not on the menu but definitely on our minds: Cactus Coolers, LipSmackers and jazz feelings. In the Cart: Sparkling LemonadeSparkling Green Tea with Pineapple Juice Sparkling Lemonade + Strawberry Apple Cider Vinegar Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/traderhoes)

ACVC

Sometimes, you’ve got to face the big life questions. Like why are we here? What is the meaning of life? And is brownie cake? This week, we get answers (at least to that last one) and try some new and classic Trader Joe’s baking mixes. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: the glory of Amish baked goods, a debate about the value of Arby’s, and whether Evie is an alien or not.  ? In the cart: Gluten-free Chocolate Chip Brownie Mix Blondie Bar Baking Mix Chocolate Mochi Cake Mix with Peanut Butter Frosting Mix Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/traderhoes)

Is Brownie Cake?

Nope, that title isn’t a trick. Katie’s taking a well-deserved week off, so Evie reeled in her fiancé, Brian, to be her co-hoe. They dove head-first into Trader Joe’s seafood burgers and paddled through all kinds of tangents. There&apos;s just one rule at this pool, though: Do not even think about microwaving these patties at work. Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: Brian’s midwestern love for circular frozen foods, Evie’s discovery of the new fish, Mahi Tuna, some sports references, and the best ’90s Lunchables. ? In the cart: -Shrimp Seafood Burgers-Mahi Mahi Burger-Premium Salmon BurgerSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/traderhoes)

Pretty Fishy

Things heat up this week when we (kinda) cook some new Trader Joe’s frozen items. But just like Cher, these are anything but one-hit-wonders. Talk about versatility! Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: Trader Joe’s best season, Evie’s watch tan, and Katie’s relationship with potatoes. ? In the cart: Cheese empanadas with Cassava Crust Loaded Potatoes Eggwich Breadless Breakfast Sandwich Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/traderhoes)

Completely Loaded

The Hoes take a hit to the taste buds with some of Trader Joe&apos;s spiciest selections. It&apos;s an eye-watering, sweat-inducing, nostril-flaring foray into some of Joe&apos;s more formidable new items.  Not on the menu but certainly on their minds: smoked meats, mascara and Evie&apos;s marine grandma.  In the Cart: Crispy Thai Chilies & Sesame Seeds Jalapeño Monterey Jack CheeseBeemster Hatch Pepper Gouda  Sweet & Spicy Pickle Chips & OnionsSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/traderhoes)

These Hoes Are on Fire

What happens when you mix two parts Trader Hoes, one part Aaron Carter concert, one part ‘80s kids’ show and a dash of some unknown accent? Oh, just a cocktail episode! You’ve been asking for it, so we finally dug out our mixologist skills (or lack thereof) and tried out some easy, poolside-perfect mixed drinks. Let’s just say it was all a “duck blur.” ? In the cart: Espolón Tequila Blanco Tito’s Vodka Organic Jalapeño LimeadeSpicy Mango Lemonade  Sparkling Watermelon Juice Sparkling LemonadeSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/traderhoes)

Cocktails A-WOOOooo

Once again, it’s time to see which champion will win the gold. No, we’re not talking about the Olympics. We’re talking another Trader Joe’s Snack Down. This time, we’re pitting M&M’s against TJ’s candy-coated competitors, and things get sticky. We also peruse the M&M’s dating profiles, get to the very well-researched bottom of the connection between chocolate and hugs, and share some very useful facts about the Abernathy Boys. ? In the cart: M&M’sBite-Sized Candy Coated Milk Chocolate CandiesPeanut M&M’s Candy Coated Milk Chocolate Dipped Peanuts Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/traderhoes)

Snack Down: M&M's

The Hoes have a few questions when testing out Trader Joe&apos;s newest feature items. Citrus dessert popcorn? Get out of here. Chocolate covered rice cakes? What is this? 1992?  But maybe Joe&apos;s onto something with his most recent elote seasoned special... Not on the bizarre menu but certainly on our minds: the zombie apocalypse, Sha&apos;Carri Richardson and childhood cereals. In the Cart:Key Lime Kettle PopcornChocolate-Coated Rice CakesEverything And the Elote Greek Style Yogurt DipSupport the show (https://www.patreon.com/traderhoes)

Who Asked for This?

We know Ben and J-Lo have been making headlines lately, but we’ve got the true couple of the summer in these new items, Hoes. These crackers and cheese might be an unlikely pair, but they won’t be the most surprising reveal of the episode. Promise. Because we’re channeling Dora The Explorer, heading to Crack City to boost some babes, naming our future pets, and introducing time travel chic fashion. Who gave us permission, Hoes? *Three-second pause.* Do you know who gave us permission? ? In the cart: Strawberry & Jalapeño Crisps Pimento Cheese Dip Garlic Bread Cheese Support the show (https://www.patreon.com/traderhoes)

Who Gave Us Permission?

Two Hoes dishing out weekly reviews of Trader Joe's products. New episodes every Monday!

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Trader Hoes

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