We discuss the all too relevant Ch 20, supernatural driving times, Alice crushing it at Jeopardy, ballet studio aesthetics, and unfortunate high school dates. Content Warnings: Discussion of COVID-19 / Coronavirus Crisis, snakes & snake bites, hospitals, mentions of racism. 

TwiBack Tuesday

Episode 20: Jimmy the Evil Vampire

We're back!! We discuss Chapter 19, Dad's gonna be mad Edward did a murder, the Cullens are real cool chill hippies, get derailed by our thirst, wanting our spines re-aligned, and hypocritically spend 15 minutes talking about cars. The Cars of Twilight Blog Post: https://bit.ly/2WQPUGS Content Warnings: Discussion of violence, death, murder, and body horror, mentions of stalking and relationship abuse.

Episode 19: Tucked Like a Little Football

We wrap up Ch 18 after last week’s tech issues, discuss Mom’s pinterest board from 2010 into an unhinged book, vampires would make great astronauts, MLM recipe books, and $16 prom dresses. Content Warnings:Content Warnings: brief mentions of stalking and harassment, relationship abuse. All of our episodes contain spoilers for the Twilight Saga.

Episode 18 pt. II: Chow Bella!

Hey folks, we’re finally back! We discuss Edward needing meditation classes, vampire slumber parties, and had a bit of technical difficulty. We hope you enjoy this short episode nonetheless! Content Warnings: Mentions of violence, surgery, and stalking.

Ch 18: BYOH(uman)

We discuss Chapter 18 THE BASEBALL CHAPTER, custom matching baseball uniforms for the whole family, vampire physics, and the arrival of the plot. Content Warnings: Mentions of suicide, death, loss of child, and some sexual harassment. Record Scratch noise used under creative commons via: https://audiosoundclips.com/ Supermassive Black Hole is intended for parody use only.

Episode 17: Sensual Buckling

We discuss chapter 16 of Twilight, Carlisle's thicc book, heavy-handed Christian themes, Edward’s casting couch, and prepare for next week’s excellent chapter. Content Warnings: Discussions of explicit sexual content, suicide, death, mentions of genocide and incest. 

Episode 16: Carlisle's Anatomy

We read chapter 15 and discuss MILF rights, the sewers of Paris in Les Miserables, and how Carlisle is the real love interest of the series. Content Warnings: Mentions of violence, death and depression. All of our episode have spoilers for all of The Twilight Saga. 

Episode 15: The Property Brothers are Vampires

In our quick wrap-up of chapter 14, we unpack Edward's sexual awakening, Smeyer's age difference kink, and vegetarian vampires being abstinent homosexuals. Content warnings: Mentions of pedophila, violence, and murder. 

Episode 14 pt II: Is Edward a Creationist?

We get caught up talking for wayy too long about Stephanie Meyer's music nostalgia, Vampire Superpowers, and this being a horror novel that we went way over time, and we'll finish chapter 14 next week! Content Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, suicide, violence, discussions of stalking & relationship abuse. 

Episode 14 pt. I: Supercharged With Vampire S!@%

We discuss what would have happened if Twilight was popular during the highlight makeup trend, a very low vampire song, buying gas when you're emotional, and the rivalry between Sonic the Hedgehog and Bella Swan. Content Warnings: Discussion of relationship abuse, violence, drugs, mentions of pedophilia.

Episode 13: Just Doing Whippets

This Tuesday our frustration with being trapped reading Twilight every other week comes to a head as we discuss an aftertaste of racism, "is it Mormon?" If Stephanie Meyer wasn't a coward Bella would be bisexual), visiting the scene of the crime, and the first positive "Alice Cullen is in it" rating. Content warnings: frequent discussion of suicide, mentions of relationship abuse and stalking.

Episode 12: Stephanie Meyer's Dream Journal

We really start to earn the explicit tag with this one folks. We discuss Chapter 11, a horny fainting couch, how Bella would f**k the night, and some of our science class antics. Content Warnings: Our episodes contain mentions of depression, suicide, relationship abuse, and spoilers for all twilight saga content.

Episode 11: Episode 11: Cheek Caressing Habits

This Tuesday we read Chapter 10 and discuss our Claire’s jewelry collection, Naruto running to Bella’s house, Stephanie Meyer’s hissy fit, revoking Peter’s catholic card, and the Cullens being vampire Mormons.Content warnings: Mentions of violence and relationship abuse. All of our episodes contain spoilers for all of The Twilight Saga books. 

Episode 10: Episode 10: Do Fish Have Blood?

This week we read Chapter 9 and discuss the “how long have you been seventeen” line, Edward being a dumb twink, relationship red flags, eternally torturing yourself by repeating high school, and the murdered deer in the room. Content warnings: Discussion of relationship abuse, suicide and depression. All of our episodes contain spoilers for all of The Twilight Saga books. 

Episode 9: Episode 9: Doogie Howser is a Valid Career Option

This week we have a special guest, Peter's sister Allison! We discuss chapter 9, the teen experience, Chris Evans' pecs, and what an "estrogen rush" could possibly be.CWs: Discussion of Eating Disorders and related abuse including diet control. All of our episodes contain spoilers for all of the Twilight Saga books.

Episode 8: Episode 8: Estrogen Rush?

A queer couple revisit their pre-teen obsession: The Twilight Saga.

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TwiBack Tuesday

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