This week Jesse and Kevin talk about fandoms, Harry Potter spoilers, relative ages, Hogwarts Houses, ghost books, goofy names, a spiky killer tree, very long board games, games that aren't games, cool science, flat earths, long periods of time, groundhogs day-ing. (Recorded on August 28, 2017.) Links Jesse finished reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and he's going to start The Tale of Beren and Lúthien soon. J. K. Rowling is writing a crime mystery series under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith. Kevin spent his Labor Day weekend playing Twilight Imperium. Kevin made a pinhole projector for the solar eclipse. Jesse recommends Annie Dillard's essay about the 1979 total solar eclipse. Kevin has done an experiment that proves the earth is not flat. Kevin recommends Anathem and The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August.

Unprepared

Math Convents

In case you didn't see it on twitter (follow us... if you dare! @unprepped ) we're temporarily slowing down production of episodes. For reasons. Maybe we'll talk about it on a future episode. But not this one. This week we talk about stealing chairs, bad episodes of tv, a poop joke, hurricane activities, wild weather, time travel movies, the all new Whole Foods, Mastodon, a meme, reading every tweet, content aggregators, long reads, using graphs to say what you want, (Recorded on August 28, 2017.) Links Star Trek's Code of Honor is possibly the worst episode of the entire show. Lubbock, TX gets really bad dust storms called haboobs. Netflix has a new time-loop movie that Kevin didn't like. But there's an indie one that he does like. @alexandraerin is a fantastic Twitter writer. The Future of Football is a story that can't be explained, but must be read. Kevin recommends these lectures about detecting bullshit. Jesse met Tim Cook.

Favorite Grocer

Did you know that every year you eat 3 spiders in your sleep? But did you know that fact is most likely made up? But did you know that lots of facts are made up? But did you know that Kevin makes up 86% of the things he says at any given point in time? But did you know that any time he makes up a statistic he set 86%? But did you know that the average velocity of an unladen swallow is in direct proportion to it's wingspan? But did you know Shakespeare invented the word eyeball? But did you know that this bit was stolen from Movies with Mikey? But did you know that we'll never get in trouble for stealing it because we will never reach even a fraction of a percent of the audience of that admittedly minor youtube show? But did you know that worrying about obscurity on the internet is one of the worst things to worry about? But did you know that if you scream into a jar and close it fast enough you can release the scream in the face of your enemies? But did you know having too many enemies can dramatically increase your blood pressure? But did you know petting a cat can lower your blood pressure? Where was I going with this? (Recorded on August 14, 2017.) Links Kevin (still) recommends Master of None. (Jesse still hasn't seen it.) Co-creator of Master of None, Alan Yang, also directed Moonlight for JAY-Z. Kevin enjoyed Ali Wong's standup special Baby Cobra. Kevin did not enjoy Jiro Dreams of Sushi. The creator of Jiro Dreams of Sushi, David Gelb, also made the similarly problemed Chef's Table. Go read some creepypastas at r/nosleep, specifically this one. Chris Straub's Scared Yet is a series of creepypasta reviews. Don't think about the peepee poopoo man. Sarah Jeong wrote the ultimate piece on the Google Memo. XKCD explains free speech. Mikey Neumann's latest is about Pan's Labyrinth. Every Frame a Painting's video on the Coen Brother's is incredible. YourMovieSucksDOTorg is Synecdoche, New Yorking-ing their video series on Synecdoche, New York.

Stomach Spiders

You should know something before listening to this episodes. You should know that you need to watch the first episode of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Not because it will help you understand what we talk about. (but it will) but because it's the best tv show on tv right now. I mean it's not on TV right now when I'm typing this, but it is currently being produced. And it's a freaking masterpiece. I'm saying it's up there with The Wire, and the first 3 seasons of Arrsted Development. Watch it. Now. (The previous statements are not endorsed by Jesse. But only because he hasn't finished watching the show yet. Which he should get on.) This week Jesse and Kevin talk about sitting on a couch, petting a cat, people named Tundra, heightened reality, Ray Bradbury, That 80s band that's referenced in American Psycho, nuance, fermentables, bugs in all the flour, how to cook oatmeal, how to beat Bobby Flay, tiny Texas towns, diner food, scary trucks in the dark, short orders and the cooks who fulfill them, the job of a sponge, "wine" "country," the best thing about Texas (according to Jesse,) sideways sandwiches, fake chicken. (Recorded on August 14, 2017.) Links Jesse and Kevin watched the pilot of Crazy Ex- Girlfriend together. Jesse camped and watched the Perseid meteor shower.

Shrimp Stock

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about sleepy wine, dogs eating things, fart sounds, multi-cam sitcoms, Star Trek, assisted suicide, being trapped in a room, monkey hands, squeeky toys, negative reviews of Game of Thrones, screaming pizza, fast travel in Westeros, swarms, solo storytelling performance, making up stories. (Recorded on August 1, 2017.) Links Jesse watched The Carmichael Show. Travis Kalanick thinks he's Steve Jobs. Kevin and Jesse both enjoyed Hasan Minjah's Homecoming King. Kevin's introduction to comedy was Jeff Foxworthy.

Maths

This episode has a dog in it. (Recorded on August 1, 2017.) Links Go get fried chicken or chicken fried steak at Babe's. Juan Likes Rice and Chicken is a Documentary Now episode parodying Jiro Dreams of Sushi. Ask Mr. Biggs is Kevin's favorite podcast. Kevin brought his sister's bachelorette party to an escape room. Gone Home is a fantastic video game.

Spicy Bean Soup

(Recorded on July 10, 2017.) Links Kevin participated in this year's Meh- rathon. MC Frontalot has a song about 80085. Jesse sometimes feels a thing that's a combination of sonder and the fog of war. Jesse didn't like Baby Driver. Kevin wants Jesse to watch Ratatoing, some kind of nightmare parody of Ratatouille. We talk a lot about the Transformers media franchise. Lindsay Ellis has smart things to say about the Transformers movies on her YouTube channel. Every Frame a Painting has a great video essay on "Bayhem". Kevin was disappointed with the rebooted Ninja Turtles movies. Some shots from The Island are copied in Transformers.

Cowabunga

(Recorded on July 10, 2017.) Links Jesse explains what he doesn't like so far about Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Kevin reads some funny tweets about Dudley dying. Kevin plays Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor, a fun video game about Tolkien stuff. Jesse finally finished watching 30 Rock for the third time and is going to start watching The Carmichael Show on Kevin's recommendation. Jesse's wrong; The Office is not leaving Netflix. HBO is working on Game of Thrones spin- offs. The Hunt For Gollum and Born of Hope are two fan made films about Aragorn. The new Spider-Man movie inspired this great video from moviebob. The First Baptist Dallas church worshiped Donald Trump on the Fourth of July. Kevin made Alton Brown's best hamburger ever to celebrate America. Jesse explains the 2017 Tour de France. Or you could read the A.V. Club explain it.

Salt Your Beef

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about safes, documents, computers, Half-Life 3 confirmed, reinventing the bus, terrible startups, GOOP, Qwikster, grocery stores, where we buy clothes, underwear wearing out, stinky shorts. (Recorded on June 19, 2017.) Links Valve's The Orange Box has some good games. Valve and Zappos both have a flat corporate structure. Lyft invents a city bus for rich people. An Uber board member resigned after sexist comments. Planet of the Apps had a very gross ad on Twitter. Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop brand is stupid. Amazon bought Whole Foods.

For Freshness

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about beach houses, granite countertops, floating, old superheroes, our sponsors, couch talk, brunch, tacos vs breakfast tacos, post brunch naps, racist mascots on mustard, talking to strangers, Irish names, The Gospel According to Jesse, languages that aren't English, languages that are English, sounds in your mouth, bad accents, the Gettysburg Address. (Recorded on June 19, 2017.) Links The Fall by Gorillaz was recorded entirely on an iPad. Cast is a website that can record, edit, and host podcasts for you. Sarah Michelle Gellar tweeted a funny thing about Wonder Woman. Jesse recommends the pabellon arepa at the Four Brothers food truck. Kevin recommends Biderman's Deli. There's actually a lot of Romance languages.

Bro Brunch with Broaches

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about important books, holidays in June, Buck Mulligan, new holidays, moon shoes, MILF Island, the assassination of JFK, a potato stool sculpture, pants that get hot in the summer, empty cities, two Six Flagses, butter sculpture, day trippin', kolaches, confederate monuments, communicating through Crazy Ex-Girlfriend songs, shaving Jesse's legs, losing library books, losing cats, tearing tyvek, the volume of a sphere, keychain cards, the beach. (Recorded on June 19, 2017.) Links Ulysses is arguably the most important, or best, novel in the English language. Jesse learns about Juneteenth. Rhode Island state holiday, Victory Day, celebrates killing millions of Japanese people. Jesse and Kevin invent Moon Day to celebrate the Apollo 11 moon landing. Jesse gets very upset about Dallas, TX. Big Tex is a large robot demon cowboy. Pegasus is not a phoenix. Kevin has lots of fun with a new app. Kevin describes a recent textmergency. Kevin got a new wallet made out of Tyvek.

Moon Day

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about pictures of Kevin's face, the length of Jesse's hair, mullets, braids, middle school hair, haul videos, beards, shaving, grey hairs, commentary on commentary, walking in the rain, weird register jockey stories, real margaritas, graduation, bighead, and orb. (Recorded on May 22, 2017.) Links Kevin recorded a commentary for Jesse's other show, Project Unicorn. Jesse used to get badly sunburned while volunteering for Soulfest. Academic dress is complicated and fun. Sheriff David Clark is wearing a bunch of garbage on his chest.

Full Beard Cycle

This week Jesse and Kevin talk about Orb. You can follow us on Twitter @unprepped. We don't have a facebook. (Recorded on May 22, 2017.) Links Groups of people are very bad at remembering things properly. Jesse got into playing Cookie Clicker and Adventure Capitalist. Orb We discuss the weirdness of David Lynch. Kevin still watches Survivor. There are lots of words for the centigrade scale.

Kevin is on vacation right now, so he hasn't had time to listen to this episode. That means Jesse could have put literally anything in the file for this episode. Let's hope he didn't. (Recorded on May 15, 2017.) Links John Hodgman wrote some great books on Complete World Knowledge. He also has a stand-up special that Jesse liked, but Kevin didn't. Sandwiches are famously difficult to define. Porn is also hard to define, like these videos of people smushing bread. Jesse enjoyed some pie, Kevin enjoyed some blintzes, and someone on the internet got mad about grilled cheese. Jesse has had very bad experiences with productions of The Vagina Monologues and The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Kevin and Jesse share some experiences with daddy longlegs. Let John Oliver teach you about the injustice of food waste. Watch Movies with Mikey's new video on The Emperor's New Groove.

Antique Media Formats

This week Kevin rambles incoherently over Jesse's other podcast. He's still not sure why this exists. (Recorded on May 15, 2017.) Kevin provides his commentary on Project Unicorn episode 5: Human Soulmate.

Jesses Hole

Unprepared is a podcast where 2 friends talk about stuff without any preparation.

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Unprepared

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