This week, Tracy talks about how you can learn to not be be a nag bag. She shares 5 helpful tips that you can use to get your teen to do things just because they want to. This is followed by another of Tracy's helpful and relaxing Hypnotherapy Meditations, specifically designed to help you with your relationship with your teenager. You can also download these and listen to them again. Tracy can be contacted as follows: Website: www.tracykimberg.com Phone: 07928 154054 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tracy.kimberg.therapy  Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kimberg-teenage-transformation-therapist-9564a3193/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tracy_kimberg_teentherapist/   hello. My name is Tracy. Kimberg welcome to the waves of clarity. I am a teenage therapist and a relationship specialist. My passion, of course, is teenagers helping them find their super power so that they can use throughout their life as they grow into adulthood and become more aware of how they behavior influences they world.   I believe that relationships are built. From knowing exactly what your superpower is to that you can use that to help you overcome difficult situations and build better relationships. We all have a super power that we can tune into. And when we do this, we can do extraordinary things. We can help ourselves overcome, um, storms and tides of life.   We can help other people, we can improve relationships and we can reach goals and dreams that we have for ourselves. We can even change our own behavior when we tune into our own superpowers. Today, I'd like to talk to you about nagging as a parent. I'm sure. You've heard yourself say these phrases, clean your room, do your homework.   Have you done your chores? You can't go out until you've done this. Why haven't you done that? If you have a team you will know full and well, that this is a very, very tricky part of parenting journey. I speak from experience. As I currently have three daughters still living at home, the one is 16. The one is 21 and the one is 25.   And sometimes it feels like I am such an ag bag. Most parents of teens. No, they sound like a broken record and it's painful. So painful, not just for us to hear. But also for our teens, but no one appreciates nagging, believe it or not, there's a far better way. And I promise you, it works.   Okay. When we were growing up, our parents probably nagged us as well. And you might've even promised yourself when you were young, that you would never, ever sound anything. Like your parents and none of that nagging would ever come out of your mouth. But the reality is if you're a parent of a teenager, you've probably already used a variation of these words that I mentioned earlier.   And in despite of the very best intentions, you can't help yourself. But why is this? It's likely because at some point you were just too tired or too stressed. To figure it out and think about the alternatives that you could possibly use. It just seems more natural to tell your team to do things rather than giving them a gentle push.   They might need that you would have made them choose that action just because they wanted to. So the secret is to get your teenage motivated, motivated to do what you're asking to do. And I'm going to share you a few tips on how you can do this. So let's start with tip number one, start by being the voice of reason in the middle of the storm.   As you know, our teens get so stressed and easily overwhelmed. And when this happens, they just want to shut down and be left alone at worst. They likely to make serious, um, decisions leading to usually a bigger, a bit of a disaster.   Today. I'd like to share my five magic tips with you on how you can help yourself to stop nagging number one, and to help your teenager be motivated to do the things that you ask them without having to repeat yourself numerous times. So the first tip is start by being the voice of reason in the middle of the store.   When your teenager is stressed and overwhelmed at best they'll shut down, which is normal at worst, they're likely to make a series of decisions leading to a complete and utter disaster, but when they hit this panic, it all falls to you as the parents to calm the chaos. As you know, it always is our job to try and sort out their moods and calm them down.   But yes, it sometimes feels like that you all stuck in the middle of all this chaos. So we need to accept that parenting teens can be tough and even having this awareness, instead of fighting the reality of it can help us. Build our strength and resilience because it prevents us from jumping to the conclusion that maybe we are bad at parenting.   And then we have all these thoughts going through our heads, telling us I'm a terrible parent. Why can't I do it? Right? The truth is that raising teenagers can be really, really tough. So let your team know in a calm way, what your expectations are of them and how you can help them rather than jumping into a rapid fire set of instructions.   Once they are calm. In a response, obviously to your calmness, they will better able to make their own decisions and probably wiser decisions. My second tip is to give your team clarity so they can see themselves for who they truly are. Oh,   It's no secret that teams typically have a pretty skewed vision of themselves. And, and they don't often see the things that their parents do. They're also inclined to think that they're always right and you wrong. They also think that they can do whatever they like. They sometimes think they deserve things and privileges that they haven't really earned yet.   But the bottom line is that they are still learning and growing in life, they are still trying to figure out their own values. So learn to ask the right questions that guide your team and helps your team to start seeing their strengths and their talents. And the only way they can do that is if you point them out.   So prod these good qualities into the spotlight and then show them how they can use these skills to solve the problem at hand. If you remind your teenager how much you see their good qualities and strengths and how they li you believe, sorry that they can actually overcome whatever it is they're going through and whatever task is they have at hand that you believe that they can do it and do it well, they will start believing it too.   The third step is become the researcher and the guidance counselor. All rolled up into one, rather than giving your team a dozen options, show them where to find them. That is part of how they learn to become more independent in life by learning to do things themselves, make their own choices, instead of depending on others to save them or others, to help them choose.   Talk to them about their goals and then discuss ways to find that information, encourage them, encourage them to, um, face the reality of the pros and the cons. And in coach him to talk to mentors and counselors at school, or even family members that they look up to and guide them to the pathway of discovery.   So the fourth magic tip I have to share with you today is become your child's brainstorming, buddy. I love doing this with my children, where we set and we share ideas and options. And a lot of the time I'll be honest with you. Their ideas and options are a lot more creative than mine. So when your tin gets stuck, Which of course we all do.   And of course they will do at some point feel stuck instead of jumping into tell them what to do, just be quiet and ask them, take the time to have a proper talk and ask them what they think the alternative choice would be or what would happen if they did an opposite thing. They may not initially see the value of this conversation and might feel a bit frustrated because you're not giving them the answer.   But knowing that. You are willing to talk and guide them. And then you have someone to talk to, um, as a teenager that you can really go to your parents and talk and figure it out together is so important. They need to know. They can throw out ideas without being worried that they're going to be told that it's stupid idea or no, that will never work.   Just talk about the idea, play with the different options with them and don't um, um, because if we don't do this, they will feel that they have to censor themselves until they can find the right onset in inverted commerce. There is no right onset. We are all just figuring it out together.   And this brings us to the last tip number five, which is become a cheerleader. I love being my children's cheerleader. It's such a fun job. You know what it feels like when someone tells you that you've done something well, that you're really good at something. How does it make you feel? It makes you feel pretty good, right?   It only makes sense that we as parents need to praise the efforts of our teams and celebrate their successes. It feels so much better then hassling your team for the slightest thing they've left undone or for the failures that they've met along the way. Ask yourself now, really ask yourself. Think about this question.   Do I shine a spotlight on my team's successes or only on their shortcomings? And think about the answer and I'll share a big secret with you today. The magic key to stop or minimize nagging is for us as parents to make a conscious decision to do so. You get to decide you as the parent, you are the parent and you get to choose which approach you take with your teenager.   If something isn't working, you can change it. Look for the alternative way that works. Look. For what works with your child?   I hope you enjoyed this episode. And please, of course, if you did enjoy it, I encourage you to share it, share it with someone, you know, a parent that's maybe having a frustrated time with their children and feels like they are turning into a real old nag bag, share this post. And hopefully someone will find value.   Don't forget that after this episode, I'm going to do another free hypnotherapy download for you. Very exciting. And this hypnotherapy download is going to help you just find peace and calmness within yourself and just recenter into the choices that you make and how you can consciously make choices that will work better for you in your relationship with your child.   Thank you for listening everyone. And of course, if you need to get in touch, then you know where to find me on my social media, just DM me and set up a meeting. I do a free discovery call for you, where we can discuss and see what it is you need help with. And if I am the right person to help you with it.   Have a lovely week and enjoy the meditation.   Welcome to the meditation and hope you are very comfortable and ready to enjoy this meditation, which is going to help you calm and relax yourself so that you. In effect, we'll be able to have clarity on the choices you make without going into a normal autopilot mode of nagging or doing something that you will later.   Great. So. Find yourself, a comfortable position, sit back and relax, listen to the music and listen to my voice. And as you said, very comfortably or lie down, just breathe normally   and notice the movement of your eyes. As you breathe   and you can close your eyes all the way down. Alrighty. Beginning to relax both body and mind.   Relax, your forehead smoothing out, uh,   relaxing the tiny muscles around them   cheeks.   And Slack   allow your tongue to just lie in your mouth.   Just the muscles in your tongue. Relaxing,   move down, down your neck. And notice how you send a wave of relaxation down your neck, into your shoulders.   And repeat after me, I am safe. I am calm and I choose to be here.   Okay. And I am safe. I am calm. I choose to be here   now. Focus on your arms. All the way down to your fingertips, releasing all the stress and tension. As we often hold stress and tension in our hands and in our shoulders,   focus on your chest and your abdomen as you breathe. I want you to take three. Slow deep breath,   counting four counts on your inhalation   and four slow counts as your exhale.   That's good. And do that again.   And a piece of Ken after me, I'm safe, I'm calm. And I choose to be here   and twice I'm safe.   And I choose to be here. And again, I am safe. I am calm. I choose to be   now allow yourself to in your unconscious mind. Just scan over your whole body and as you're too, so to techs and hidden stresses, any hidden tension that you're holding in your body and just breathe into it, allowing it to release.   And I'd like you to think of someone who you consider as a very wise person, someone you would ask advice from, it might be someone from your past. It might be someone, you know, today. Might be someone in history. And when you have a face in your imagination, I'd like you to just hold a day.   As we walk into a beautiful green field and in the corner of the field, you notice a bench. In the far corner and the field is on the top of a beautiful Hill, overlooking the ocean. It's very peaceful. It's a lovely sunny day and you feel really calm. As you walk over to this bench and you sit down and you enjoy the view, feeling really relaxed, and then you look up and you notice a figure walking towards you.   And it's that person, that person that you saw in your imagination and they're walking right towards you. And they have a big smile on your face. On their face and on your face, you both have a smile as if you've known each other your whole life   and they come and sit next to you and they say they have an amazing, extraordinary gift for you.   And you look in their holding a beautiful box. And they say that this is a gift for you. And you ask what's in the box   and they say, it's the gift of understanding and patience   and you take the box and you open it up and as you open it up,   you notice.   Starting to float all around you.   And as you breathe, your whole body absorbs the slides. As you breathe in this amazing gift that this person is giving you.   This gift is going to help you to have understanding. And patience   as you keep breathing in this beautiful space of the bench and this person you admire and the view, and you're holding the box,   this gift.   And you feel it becoming one with yourselves, going into your mind, going even into your mouth, you feel it in your tongue, even feel it going into your thoughts,   this wisdom and understanding.   And you can feel the transformation happening within you. That's happening as you take another deep breath.   Incredible energy.   And you sit there with this person. And they give you three secrets that you need to hear   and you hear them telling you three secrets and I'm going to allow you to listen. Very tentatively. Yes. Your special guest shares, three special secrets with you. Three secrets that are going to help you have more patience and understanding   And then your special guest stands up.   And walks back down the path as they came back slowly over the field to where you are now. Back into the chair on your bed   and you feel really blessed and really conscious of this incredible gift that you have within you now of patients.   Sit with that feeling become aware of it. Feel the gratitude you have because you have this within you   just repeat after me. I have patience.   I have patience. And understanding.   And again, I have patience and understanding   and when you're ready,   you can open your eyes.

Waves Of Clarity Podcast

How to stop nagging your teenager.

Frank Soonius On Never Giving Up On Your Dreams

Nina Aouilk on 'Being The Change'

How To Be Confidently You

Andrew Weingart on being a conscious parent

It can seem incredibly difficult helping teens through low moods and depression. This guided meditation (part of episode 19) can be downloaded for free to use whenever you wish. Tracy can be contacted as follows: Website: www.tracykimberg.com Phone: 07928 154054 Facebook: www.facebook.com/Tracy.Kimberg.Counselling.Therapy.Coaching/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kimberg-9564a3193/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/tracy_kimberg_hypnotherapist/

Helping Your Teen & Build Your Beliefs As A Parent (Meditation from episode 19)

It can seem incredibly difficult helping teens through low moods and depression. In this episode, Tracy Kimberg brings you ten tips you can use to guide you and your teenager through challenging times. This episode is also followed by a guided meditation, which you can download for free and use whenever you wish. Tracy refers to two books: Beyond The Blues - Lisa M Schab The Feeling Good Handbook - Dr. David Burns Tracy can be contacted as follows: Website: www.tracykimberg.com Phone: 07928 154054 Facebook: www.facebook.com/Tracy.Kimberg.Counselling.Therapy.Coaching/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kimberg-9564a3193/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/tracy_kimberg_hypnotherapist/      

Helping Teens Through Difficult Times

A meditation to help let go of stress and worry. Website: www.tracykimberg.com Phone: 07928 154054 Facebook: www.facebook.com/Tracy.Kimberg.Counselling.Therapy.Coaching/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kimberg-9564a3193/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/tracy_kimberg_hypnotherapist/    

Release Stress (Meditation from episode 18)

What to do when your teen self-harms

Siri Arti On Bringing Teens Back To Themselves

A meditation to help let go of all the things you can't control. For help with any issues raised in this podcast, or for a free initial consultation, contact Tracy: Facebook: www.facebook.com/Tracy.Kimberg.Counselling.Therapy.Coaching/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kimberg-9564a3193/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/tracy_kimberg_hypnotherapist/ Website: www.tracykimberg.com TRANSCRIPT: Now it's time for your hypnotherapy meditation session. And as you just sit back and relax, make yourself comfortable, find yourself a blankets and just settle down, lie back, rest your arms on your chest. Whether you're sitting, you can nest your arms in your lap and just change. Please start breathing normally. Alrighty allowing your body and your mind to relax, become aware of your surroundings, noticing any sounds. Maybe you can have birds or cars, any sound. You might hear and just notice them. Don't try. And I don't notice them. Now I'd like you to focus on the inside of your body. Notice if you feel any tension, any way, it might feel some tension in your shoulders, perhaps in your spine, maybe your head. Anywhere, possibly in your body where you might feel any stress or tension, just notice it normally. And then I'd like you to imagine yourself lying in a matter, very calmly on the grass, just relaxing as if it was a sunny summer stay and you were just out and decided to lie down. In a very safe and quiet and serene place. And you're just lying there. Observing the clouds in the sky as they come and go changing shape, moving away and making place for new ones. Happy if a thought of how many things you try and control that you just have no ability to control things like what people say, what might happen in the future. The weather, for instance, things you have no control over that you obsess over and I'd like you to make an imaginative list in your head of the things that you can't control. Just list them one by one, write them down on an imaginative piece of paper. And you can see the words there because your imagination is so powerful and you can see anything you want. If you just tell it to. And as you have your list in your hand, the one that you wrote down, all the things that you can't control. I want you to tear that list up into tiny pieces. Feel yourself, tearing up the paper. Into tiny pieces. And I want you to throw them up into the sky. And watch them all go up into the sky in the breeze. Each piece of paper attaches itself to a cloud and a chain PLE floats in the air. And you notice that each cloud. Has the word signifies. One of the things that you can't control and just breathe and just observe these things floating in the sky far away from you just touched from you. And you know that there's nothing to do, nothing to say, nothing to change. I just like clouds in the sky. Each of those words, they come and they go just the way they meant to come and go just to weigh them into go. Unless you notice these clouds moving pasture in the sky and you notice how they disappear eventually into the sky, just into the universe. Off into the horizon disappearing slowly, but surely you notice that the sky sometimes looks more blue than others when most of the clouds disappeared. And then you see more clouds appearing with more words on. But when you see them, you're just breathe and you remind yourself that you don't have control over those. Can you just let them be and just to say, came at the right time, they move away at the right time out of your control. Everything is in the middle. I want you to repeat after me, everything is as it should be. And again, everything is as it should be. And again, everything is as it should be. Take a deep breath and Azure. Exhale allow yourself to just relax. And now repeat after me, I release the things that I can't control. and again, I release the things that I can't control. I released the things that I can't control. Have a nice deep letting go breath as you do. So notice how you feel lighter. Notice how the stress in your body feels as you've become aware of that. You need to let go of the things that you can't control because they follow your mind and your mind feels better when it's emptier. Uh, you cannot allow yourself to come back to AOL and become more aware of your surroundings. Maybe your party where it's touching the bed or the chair. Maybe you can hear the birds again, take a deep breath and open your eyes. Feeling really calm and relaxed. And free of all the thoughts that you need to control the uncontrollable. Thank you for joining me for this meditation. I'll see you next time. And please remember to follow me on Instagram. Uh, Tracy Kimber Kimberg therapist on Facebook, Tracy Kimberg hypnotherapist. And you can have a look on my website, Tracykimberg.com.

Releasing Control (Meditation from episode 16)

Gayleen Hodson On Family Life In Lockdown

A meditation to help let go of worry and stress. For help with any issues raised in this podcast, or for a free initial consultation, contact Tracy: Facebook: www.facebook.com/Tracy.Kimberg.Counselling.Therapy.Coaching/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kimberg-9564a3193/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/tracy_kimberg_hypnotherapist/ Website: www.tracykimberg.com This is the meditation that will help you let go of worry and stress. If you're driving, then please don't listen to this right now. You can push, pause and listen to it later. And if you would home, then find a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down where it's quiet. And you won't be interrupted. Make yourself comfortable, maybe catch blankets, cover yourself up kit or cozy, and just listen to my voice. As you allow yourself to let go of any worry or stress, close your eyes all the way down already allowing your body. Her mind to let go and relax, breathe normally in, through your mouth and out. Now, swap it around and praise in through your nose and out through your mouth. Now, swap it around again into your mouth. And now just breathe. And as you keep your eyes closed, you focus on your surroundings. And see if you can memorize things that all around you in the room without opening your eyes, allow yourself to walk around the room and notice things. This will help you realize that your unconscious mind. He's constantly taking in anything without you even noticing. Your unconscious mind is never sleeping. That's always awake, observing, listening, and storing memories to think of yourself. Standing at the top of a Hill. And as you look down the Hill at the bottom, you see a beautiful Lake. And as I count you down, you kind of walk down the Hill toward the Lake and you notice says 10 trees in a line, down the Hill. And each time I say a number you're going to pass one of the trees and gently ever so gently. You're going to brush the bark with the inside of your hand. So you start walking down and you reach 10 touching the Bach, walking down even further nine. Touching the next street as each step, you allow yourself to feel more relaxed, going deeper into relaxation. And feeling very relaxed and calm. Very relaxed and safe. As you move down the Hill closer to the Lake six, you feel the texture of the bark of the tree. On your hand. As you pass the seventh street, walking down to number six, you can feel the crunch of the cross. And the tweaks under your feet, five further down, fairly relaxed for more relaxed. Now. Very deeply relaxed, Surrey, calm. Almost weightless too, very peaceful now, and one, and you've reached a bottom and as you reach the bottom, you notice the Lake in front of you and you walk towards the Lake and you can feel the sun on your skin and you just feel very relaxed. Calm and you take your shoes off when you feel the water is warm and you decide you're going to go for swim and you take off your clothes and you. Get into the water. Justin you're underway, feeding, excited, but calm, enjoying the warm water against your skin. As you go deep into the looter, and then you just lie back in the water and you just float on your back in the Lake. And it's very calm. There's no wind, the water's warm and there's no one around just you and the Lake. And as you lie, floating in the Lake and look up at the clouds and you notice how the clouds are just passing one by one. The clouds are just passing by in the sky and you lie in the Lake and you close your eyes and you can feel the water in your fingers as you stretch your arms out. And you're just floating. Without any effort to just float calmly, peacefully, and very, very relaxed now. And I'd like you to just take a couple of deep breaths. And as you do this, I want you to imagine every time you exhale, all your worry and your stress leaves your body with each breath and with each breath that you inhale, you're breathing in this beautiful blue sky. I'm fresh, a breathe in as you breathe out, let go of all the stress and worry and breathing again. Fresh, a peaceful calm. And as you breathe out, any worry or stress, because there's nothing to do about this. He's worries. Oh, things that might not even happen. And there's no point on holding them inside your body because they make you feel tired and stressed and they'd bring anxiety. Just allow them to just float out of your body with each breath that you breathe, you feel yourself becoming lighter and more weightless. That you identify leaves your body with each breath. And as you think of the worries that you might. So be having in your head, just breathe into those worries and just let them flow out, allowing them to just escape into the universe, just like a cloud and watch them as they drift off, drift away, not affecting you at all. Even you feeling peaceful and calm in this moment of complete relaxation as you just float in this Lake and allow yourself to just enjoy this moment, feeling free of worry. Free of stress and remind yourself that goal, your experiences, or thought creative and your thoughts create your reality. And if you think of stress, you create stress. If you think of calmness and peace, you create calmness and peace. So now allow yourself to just think of a very peaceful and calm place. It might be a place that, you know, Who are places that you can imagine in your head, in your mind's eye, you can create this. And just think of it, beautiful place. Notice how, just by thinking of it, how calm you feel and how relaxed you feel and remind yourself that you can make yourself feel calm and relaxed. By choosing the thoughts that you're focused on now repeat after me, I feel safe. I feel calm and I choose to be here and I can, I feel safe. Safe. I feel calm and I choose to be here. And one more time. I feel safe and I choose to be here. Swim to the side of the Lake. As you feel your body gliding through the water, and as you get out, you feel alive, you feel calm, you feel taller. Even you feel stronger. And you walk towards the trees that lead the way up to the Hill. And as you get dressed, You know, it's just, the accounts have completely cleared and the sky is a perfect blue, no counts. Everything seems clear now. And you start walking up and as you walk up. You touch the ball of the tree with your hand? Again, one going up to a big walking, very calmly feeling happy and relaxed. Three. For even higher, you go five feeling really calm, six, starting to feel more aware of your surroundings. Seven. Moving your fingers in your toes, eight, almost at the top. Now feeling more alert nine and 10, and you open your eyes and you're back in the room feeling really calm, really relaxed. Noticing that you don't have any worries now because you know, There's nothing to worry about. Everything is as a way it should be. Thank you for listening. If you'd like to follow me on Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn, you can find me on Tracy. Kimberg hypnotherapist. You can message me on any of those platforms or you can get hold of me@tracykim.com, forget to leave a review. And you can also let me know if there's anything specific you would like me to talk about on my podcast. I'd love to hear it. If there's. Any specific subject that you might find interesting. And we'd like to note a little bit more about, have a lovely week and remember be kind to yourself until next time.

Let Go Of Worry & Stress (Meditation from episode 14)

What do you do when you find out (or suspect) that your teenager is using drugs or alcohol? Whilst it's a common worry or reality for parents, Tracy Kimberg will help you, step-by-step, to resolve this issue. This episode is immediately followed by a meditation to help let go of worry and stress. For help with any issues raised in this podcast, or for a free initial consultation, contact Tracy: Facebook: www.facebook.com/Tracy.Kimberg.Counselling.Therapy.Coaching/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tracy-kimberg-9564a3193/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/tracy_kimberg_hypnotherapist/ Website: www.tracykimberg.com my name is Tracy Kimberg and this is the waves of clarity podcast. With many years of medical and psychological experience I have often had to do with the not so nice side as a result of someone making the wrong decision. So today I'm going to touch on a very sensitive subject, which is what do you do when your teenager is using drugs. But before we start with that discussion, I just want to say how absolutely over the moon I am after this week being announced as one of the top five podcasts in women. In business. It was a huge surprise. And I feel very, very proud because I never even thought a couple of years ago that I would be doing my own podcast. I always felt quite self-conscious and thought who would want to listen to me, but I've had an extraordinary response to. Everything that I've been talking about on these podcasts and thank you for each and every review that I've received today. I want to thank Claire Maya who wrote it's a fantastic podcast, very well presented and so helpful. Thank you, Claire, for such a lovely review. Then of course, very, very important is if you are listening and you feel that I've touched something that might resonate with you and you feel, Oh, I need to talk to Tracy about this. Then don't be shy. Pick up the phone. Call me text me and let's have a discussion. It will be no obligation free discussion where I can maybe give you a little bit of advice or we can start working with your child, or I can help you in some way to, um, find a better solution to your problem. So what do you do when you find out or you suspect that your teenager is using drugs or alcohol? First of all, I just want to reassure you that it's a very common and frightening worry for a lot of parents. If you suspect that your team is using drugs, it can be extremely overwhelming. And you can be very, very worried and concerned. So I'm going to help you step by step, figure out what you can do to resolve this issue. The first very important thing is to don't ignore it, confront the situation, confronting the situation needs to be done in the right way. It is vital that you have the conversation. In the right way and at the right time, and that you are prepared beforehand, if you only suspect that your child is using drugs, take the time to prepare yourself. However, if you have caught your teenager or found out from another, either a friend or someone has told you, or you found a drugs, then allow yourself time to cool down before you can try and confront or speak to your child. Speaking in anger. It's only going to make the situation worse. And of course, when we angry, we say things that we can take back and we react in ways that we later regret. So I strongly recommend that. If you are feeling upset, make sure that you're all feeling calm and in control before you sit your child down and have that discussion. If you only suspect that your child is using drugs, you have to trust your instincts in this kind, not to ignore it because. You might be right. You might be wrong and it's better to be right. And be able to act then be wrong and not do anything about it. So I recommend that if you suspect that your child is using drugs, that you sit your child down and have a very open discussion and we're not mean open. It means that you have to have your child's trust so that they will feel comfortable and, um, you know, able to be open with you if they are using drugs. When you have the discussion, focus on being, understanding, this includes writing down questions that will help you understand why your teenager is using drugs. Is it to fit in with the group? Is it to cope with emotions, try and put yourself in their shoes, because if you do that, he will be more able to help them. You need to also be clued up about drugs. Do your research in mind, dealings with teenagers, I've often actually found that the teenagers are clueless as to the effects of drugs on the body, the brain and their mental health. I think it is our responsibility as adults to educate teenagers or help them educate themselves about the effects of drugs. One of the places we teenagers can find out about drugs is very obvious. The internet help your teenagers by. Showing them which websites they can read upon or which talks they can listen to or where they can go to find out about drugs. Talk to Frank for instance, is a very, um, great place where you can go. If you have problems with your teenager using drugs, or if there is a teenager listening, if you have a problem, then you can also go and Google talk to Frank and get your answers today. It's so helpful to be able to have a conversation with your teenager. It's not always comfortable, but to sit down and talk about the realities and uncomfortable things about life, you need to have a conversation with your teenager, though. It doesn't help to just ignore it. Remember, stay calm. And your team will likely be quite defensive and angry in that situation. So create a safe space around you, where you can have this conversation without judgment and calm and ensure that your child isn't under the influence of drugs or alcohol or any substance. When you are having this conversation, go down to their level. For instance, if they are sitting, then sit down with them. If they're on the floor, sit with them on the floor, flat on their bed, sit with them on the bed, have open body language. Don't cross your arms, try and have a calm look on your face. And remember if you speak slowly. And calmly, it's very hard to raise your voice so lower your voice speak slowly. And that will in itself creates a very calm and comforting atmosphere in the discussion. Ensure that there's not going to be any interruptions like the younger brothers and sisters or phone calls or knocks on doors, make sure that you have this time just for the two of you or however many of the family or. Maybe, um, both parents and the child are sitting together, make sure that there's going to be no interruptions. And while you are trying your very, very best to stay calm throughout the conversation, as much as you are worried, frustrated, and feeling all those mixed emotions as your teenager gets angry and frustrated and defensive, just stay calm. Speak calmly and come to them from a place of love and concern so that you can show your support to them and that they can see your support. It doesn't help to say. I want to help you in a shouting angry voice. It has a much better effect. When you say I want to help you coming from love, calmness and understanding, it also helps to make sure that your child understands that you accept that what's happened has happened. And that what you are going to do now is focused on taking the right steps for the future. You can't change the past, but you can change the future. It's so important here to actually listen to your teenager, especially when you ask them why they started using drugs in the first place. Was it peer pressure? Where are they depressed? Where they suffering from anxiety? What was the cause? This is your chance to really take onboard the reasonings. So you can both learn and focus and be more informed about their choices in their future. If you both hit a brick wall, then don't give up, take a break and arrange to talk. When you are both feeling calmer and your heads are clearer later on in that day. Illustrates your concern and support throughout the conversation, make sure you express it and show it. Well, let them know that the reason behind the talk is because you want your teenager to be healthy, safe, and happy, and you want to have a good relationship with them. Let them know that you want them to be honest with you even. If they know that honesty is not what you want to hear. The honest truth is better than hearing an honest lie and that you will listen without judgment. And yes, you might get angry with them, but that is because you care about them throughout the conversation, demonstrate compassion so that your teenager sees that you own really crying your very best to understand their situation. Open ended questions always have more success rather than simple. Yes or no questions. Like do you enjoy taking drugs that is not going to get you anywhere? Your teenager may have a lot on their mind and they can use this opportunity to open up to you. However, Be very, very mindful that your child may not open up completely because they are fearful or they might be embarrassed. So it's vital to read and listen between the words and look at their body language and their facial expressions because you know your child best while you're talking. Don't forget that the physical connection is very, very important too. So. Put your hand on theirs or give them a hug when it's appropriate. As parents, it's very natural to want to show your concerns, but make sure that you do it in a non-judgemental way. You may even want to mention the uncharacteristic behavior that they've been, uh, portraying, but. Also ensure that you praise them to, for example, you can explain that you've noticed their concentration has been lacking, but also mentioned how helpful they have been around the house. You might hit some barriers. Such as your teenager worrying about being truly open or lying or denying even the drug use is this is the case. You will need to just reassure them that you really care for them and that you want them to stay healthy and happy. Don't punish them for lying. They will feel more scared than you realize to even confined in you. In anything in the future. Thank them for being open. Thank thing for opening up and for talking to you. In terms of addressing the drug use and how to move forward, you will need to discuss the limits and boundaries and goals for yourself and your teenager to focus on it is so important to share your findings too, so that your teenager is more informed. For instance, what the effects are of the drugs that they are using and what could happen to them if they were caught with these drugs. For instance, of course, they will need to understand the consequences, but also put in place some positive reinforcement. So moving forward, unfortunately they will not just be one conversation. When it comes to drugs, you will need to regularly check in with your teenager and review your goals. Have they managed to, to keep to those boundaries? You will also need to frequently assess the rules. And the consequences to keep them on track. Remember, you are not your child and your child, isn't you. So we all have unique ways of experiencing life and of making choices. Be mindful that your child is going to experience life in their own way. No matter what we say as a parent, if you notice that your child is not coping or is feeling overwhelmed emotionally, and that their mental health is suffering, then please find help. Get in touch with your GP or get in touch with me. I would love to help your child build a more resilient self and help them help themselves make the right choices in life. I hope you found this discussion helpful, and that has made you think a bit deeper on how we communicate with our children in stressful situations and how important it is to stay calm and focused and approach things from a place of love and understanding. This is the meditation that will help you let go of worry and stress. If you're driving, then please don't listen to this right now. You can push, pause and listen to it later. And if you would home, then find a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down where it's quiet. And you won't be interrupted. Make yourself comfortable, maybe catch blankets, cover yourself up kit or cozy, and just listen to my voice. As you allow yourself to let go of any worry or stress, close your eyes all the way down already allowing your body. Her mind to let go and relax, breathe normally in, through your mouth and out. Now, swap it around and praise in through your nose and out through your mouth. Now, swap it around again into your mouth. And now just breathe. And as you keep your eyes closed, you focus on your surroundings. And see if you can memorize things that all around you in the room without opening your eyes, allow yourself to walk around the room and notice things. This will help you realize that your unconscious mind. He's constantly taking in anything without you even noticing. Your unconscious mind is never sleeping. That's always awake, observing, listening, and storing memories to think of yourself. Standing at the top of a Hill. And as you look down the Hill at the bottom, you see a beautiful Lake. And as I count you down, you kind of walk down the Hill toward the Lake and you notice says 10 trees in a line, down the Hill. And each time I say a number you're going to pass one of the trees and gently ever so gently. You're going to brush the bark with the inside of your hand. So you start walking down and you reach 10 touching the Bach, walking down even further nine. Touching the next street as each step, you allow yourself to feel more relaxed, going deeper into relaxation. And feeling very relaxed and calm. Very relaxed and safe. As you move down the Hill closer to the Lake six, you feel the texture of the bark of the tree. On your hand. As you pass the seventh street, walking down to number six, you can feel the crunch of the cross. And the tweaks under your feet, five further down, fairly relaxed for more relaxed. Now. Very deeply relaxed, Surrey, calm. Almost weightless too, very peaceful now, and one, and you've reached a bottom and as you reach the bottom, you notice the Lake in front of you and you walk towards the Lake and you can feel the sun on your skin and you just feel very relaxed. Calm and you take your shoes off when you feel the water is warm and you decide you're going to go for swim and you take off your clothes and you. Get into the water. Justin you're underway, feeding, excited, but calm, enjoying the warm water against your skin. As you go deep into the looter, and then you just lie back in the water and you just float on your back in the Lake. And it's very calm. There's no wind, the water's warm and there's no one around just you and the Lake. And as you lie, floating in the Lake and look up at the clouds and you notice how the clouds are just passing one by one. The clouds are just passing by in the sky and you lie in the Lake and you close your eyes and you can feel the water in your fingers as you stretch your arms out. And you're just floating. Without any effort to just float calmly, peacefully, and very, very relaxed now. And I'd like you to just take a couple of deep breaths. And as you do this, I want you to imagine every time you exhale, all your worry and your stress leaves your body with each breath and with each breath that you inhale, you're breathing in this beautiful blue sky. I'm fresh, a breathe in as you breathe out, let go of all the stress and worry and breathing again. Fresh, a peaceful calm. And as you breathe out, any worry or stress, because there's nothing to do about this. He's worries. Oh, things that might not even happen. And there's no point on holding them inside your body because they make you feel tired and stressed and they'd bring anxiety. Just allow them to just float out of your body with each breath that you breathe, you feel yourself becoming lighter and more weightless. That you identify leaves your body with each breath. And as you think of the worries that you might. So be having in your head, just breathe into those worries and just let them flow out, allowing them to just escape into the universe, just like a cloud and watch them as they drift off, drift away, not affecting you at all. Even you feeling peaceful and calm in this moment of complete relaxation as you just float in this Lake and allow yourself to just enjoy this moment, feeling free of worry. Free of stress and remind yourself that goal, your experiences, or thought creative and your thoughts create your reality. And if you think of stress, you create stress. If you think of calmness and peace, you create calmness and peace. So now allow yourself to just think of a very peaceful and calm place. It might be a place that, you know, Who are places that you can imagine in your head, in your mind's eye, you can create this. And just think of it, beautiful place. Notice how, just by thinking of it, how calm you feel and how relaxed you feel and remind yourself that you can make yourself feel calm and relaxed. By choosing the thoughts that you're focused on now repeat after me, I feel safe. I feel calm and I choose to be here and I can, I feel safe. Safe. I feel calm and I choose to be here. And one more time. I feel safe and I choose to be here. Swim to the side of the Lake. As you feel your body gliding through the water, and as you get out, you feel alive, you feel calm, you feel taller. Even you feel stronger. And you walk towards the trees that lead the way up to the Hill. And as you get dressed, You know, it's just, the accounts have completely cleared and the sky is a perfect blue, no counts. Everything seems clear now. And you start walking up and as you walk up. You touch the ball of the tree with your hand? Again, one going up to a big walking, very calmly feeling happy and relaxed. Three. For even higher, you go five feeling really calm, six, starting to feel more aware of your surroundings. Seven. Moving your fingers in your toes, eight, almost at the top. Now feeling more alert nine and 10, and you open your eyes and you're back in the room feeling really calm, really relaxed. Noticing that you don't have any worries now because you know, There's nothing to worry about. Everything is as a way it should be. Thank you for listening. If you'd like to follow me on Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn, you can find me on Tracy. Kimberg hypnotherapist. You can message me on any of those platforms or you can get hold of me@tracykim.com, forget to leave a review. And you can also let me know if there's anything specific you would like me to talk about on my podcast. I'd love to hear it. If there's. Any specific subject that you might find interesting. And we'd like to note a little bit more about, have a lovely week and remember be kind to yourself until next time.

Teens & Drugs - What To Do?

Paola Royal on raising mentally healthy and resilient children

Hello, I'm Tracy Kimberg - a hypnotherapist and resilient mind coach with many years of experience in therapeutic counselling, teenage mental health, relationship coaching and anxiety management. Every Tuesday, I bring you a new episode with tips and tools to help you stay healthy and happy - and most importantly, to just be yourself - overcoming the storms and tides of day-to-day life, mindfully and with resilience. Many episodes will include a free hypnosis session, to download and keep. Find out more at tracykimberg.com

hubhopper

Waves Of Clarity Podcast

hubhopper