Life is chock full of choices. There are choices that are self defeating or even self destructive. Then there are choices that are life generating. It’s our choices that make up our life. It’s our choices that make the difference in having success in our relationships. Some choices don’t feel like choices because they are entrenched bad habits that usually comfort us in some way. Even when we feel we don’t have a choice, we do.

What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't

Choices & Their Impact On Relationships Part 2

Many relationships begin because one person is grabbing onto someone else to feel ok. Everybody wants to be loved, but the solution to this, is the age old wisdom that you have to love yourself first. Taking responsibility for our own choices & learning to accept both the good & the bad within all of us is key to self-esteem.

Healthy Self-Esteem Is Critical For Healthy Relationships

So often in relationships we are quick to focus our unhappiness on our partner. It’s their fault things don’t get better, right? It’s way too easy to blame others & not look at ourselves. This episode takes a look at what YOU can do, whether or not your partner is interested in improvements.

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP BETTER?

Dig down underneath the resentments to communicate or begin the dead-end path to bitterness. Everybody has a choice about which direction to go in. We avoid the “risk” of asking real questions, so we can stay in the safe zone of not dealing with someone else. We have our imaginary conversations, we decide we know how it will turn out & we bail. Authentic conversation requires real effort in real life.

Silent Resentments & Unasked Questions Are Engines of Unhappiness

Trauma deeply challenges our sense of safety and security in the world, which often has an impact on relationships. It’s natural for those who have suffered trauma to feel that building close relationships is frightening because they don’t want to experience more hurt. Someone who is coping with trauma may feel disconnected from themselves as well as their partner.

Trauma Affects Relationships

Responding is harder to do because it is more complicated than just defensively reacting. Respecting your partner is all about responding & reacting is only all about you. This episode will help you think about how to  improve responding to your partner. 

Responding Instead of Reacting When Communicating

Erectile Dysfunction impacts relationships & couples don’t know how to talk about it & don’t have enough information about it, so this episode is all about correcting this problem. The Cleveland Clinic reports 1 in 10 men will experience ED in their lifetime & only 25% of men with ED receive treatment.

Erectile Dysfunction & Male Sexual Avoidance

Money & sex are the two things couples argue most about. Most couples don't want to talk about it because they fight. Budgets are like diets, they don't work. Learn here how to think about a spending plan. Instead of beating yourselves up for your past attempts at trying to talk about money, try acknowledging where each of you come from in terms of your family histories without judgment.   

Money Harmony In Relationships

Everybody buries themselves in piles of doubt & insecurities that clutter up our lives & our relationships. Some of us cover things up better than others, but no one escapes obsessing about their fears & doubts. Facing your anxieties & insecurities by decontaminating your brain is achievable. Listen & learn how to do it!

Poison Messages From Your Brain That Damage Your Relationships

Relationships thrive when the 4 pillars of successful relationships are nurtured. The 4 pillars are Honesty, Respect, Generosity & Negotiating. Relationships are one of the most important parts of life & there are no classes in high school to help you learn how. Make no mistake about it, relationships are a lot of work because everybody is wired differently.

Relationship Wisdom

Self-sacrifice has been misinterpreted by too many, as the way to be the "best" partner you can be. For this episode I have Alicia Munoz joining me to discuss how  you can use your own experience of pleasure and joy as a compass to guide you to being more fulfilled as a person, and therefore, a "better" partner. When I heard this topic, I immediately thought of the stewardess on the plane advising parents to put their own mask on first in the event of a plane crash.

AVOIDING THE SELF-SACRIFICE TRAP IN RELATIONSHIPS

Emotionally unavailable men are something many partners experience. I think the greatest pain about this problem is that it leaves both people in a relationship feeling even lonelier. Today’s episode is to help us understand this dynamic & move towards solutions instead of giving up. Relationships can survive difficulties when there is a more balanced understanding instead of blame. Certainly women can also be emotionally unavailable.

Emotionally Unavailable Men/People In Relationships

Self-confrontation is a rare commodity in human beings. It’s really hard to look honestly at yourself. Digesting hard truths about yourself is no easy task. We are all so good at telling ourselves it’s ok when it’s not. We justify why we did something, we make it ok, we make excuses for ourselves. Facing a harsh truth about yourself, makes you feel bad & that’s the point, the discomfort helps you to decide “I’m not doing that again." 

Self Confrontation Will Improve ALL Your Relationships

Gay couples have insights to offer all couples. Interview with Michael Dale Kimmel author of The Gay Man’s Guide to Open and Monogamous Marriage. He offers important ideas like what is the intention of your marriage? to have fun, share great sex or deepen an emotional connection to stay together for life? He also invites you to consider emotional monogamy if you are in an open relationship.

What Gay Couples Have To Teach Us About Monogamy & Open Relationships

When you've been in a relationship with a disturbed manipulative person, regardless of where they are on the spectrum, you get into a real habit of looking outward far too much. All of your attention and energy is focused on what are they going to do next? How are they going to react if I say, or do this? You train yourself to look outside of yourself where you have no power or control. You have to learn how to build security within & invest in yourself instead.

Manipulators & Being Manipulated In Relationships

Relationships matter. Do you want to know the nitty gritty of what makes a relationship work? Get your answers to relationship questions. Learn how to keep respect alive & well, because lack of respect is why people get divorced.  Learn what builds trust & how to recover from infidelity, drama or codependency. Advice from psychotherapist Rhoda Sommer based on over 35 years of working with couples. www.therapyideas.net

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What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't

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